He mentally calculated how many he’d had. Three? Or four? “I’m actually good.”
“Just one more. Then you can tell me where you’re going to school next year.”
He didn’t have the heart to turn her down when she returned with a beer.
An hour later, when Hailey ran off to use the bathroom, he took the time to call Sarah and tell her how much he loved her. Asked her if she’d pick him up in the morning, since Colin had needed to borrow his car.
He knew the call likely fell into the drunken dialing category, and he’d tried to keep his voice from slurring. Because one beer had turned into two. Or was it three? Hailey had just kept bringing them to him—and those were on top of the shots.
They’d ended up on the deck outside, talking about colleges. About Sarah and how perfect she and Ian were together. The music had been good, the crowd positive.
He lost count of drinks she’d given him, but he must’ve had more than he’d thought, because he was starting to feel pretty tired. Dizzy.
Shite, he hoped he didn’t make an arse of himself and throw up on anyone.
He excused himself and stumbled to the bathroom, but when he spotted an open bedroom door, the temptation to lie down on the empty bed for a moment was overwhelming.
Falling onto the mattress, he closed his eyes.
“Ian?” The soft voice seemed to be miles away.
The bed dipped and he felt a warm, female body next to him.
Sarah?
“You’re so sweet to me,” she whispered and wrapped an arm around his waist.
Did her lips brush his neck? Did he kiss her next? It was hard to tell. It was all becoming a blur as he followed her down the dark path into oblivion.
The next thing he knew someone was calling his name.
“Ian?”
The voice, soft and hesitant, pulled him from the dark void. Ian struggled to open his eyes, and when his lids finally opened, he was blinded by the sunlight pouring into the room.
“Ian?” The questioning, female voice grew closer.
He struggled to sit up, realized the weight of something was weighing him down. Or someone.
Shock slammed through him as he became aware of the soft body curled up next to his. Naked—just as naked as he was. And the woman wasn’t Sarah, but one of her best friends.
No. Shite, no this wasn’t happening.
“Are you in here?” There was a soft knock on the door.
“Wait,” he rasped, trying to ease away from Hailey.
But the door twisted open and Sarah’s head ducked inside.
“There you—” The color leeched from Sarah’s face as she took in the scene.
“Sarah, wait.”
“Oh my God.” Her voice rose now.
“It’s not—”
“What it looks like? How can it not be?” she choked out, eyes wide with horror and tears. “And is that Hailey?”
Hailey, who’d been out for the count, stirred at the sound of her name. And then quickly came awake and sat upright.
The sheet fell from her, exposing a breast and slamming another nail into the coffin of guilt against him.
She’d climbed into bed with him. Had been all over him. That much he remembered. After that, not so much.
This wasn’t happening. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have fallen back into the selfish, uncaring bastard that he’d been before Sarah?
“Sarah,” he muttered thickly, not even sure what he could say. “I love you. You’ve got to know—”
“That you’re a horrible, horrible person?” she ground out, silent tears running down her face. “Yes, I can see that. I think I always knew it, but got caught up in whatever illusion you were projecting to get me into bed. To think I mistook lust for love.”
Ian shoved himself out of bed, not giving a damn about nudity anymore. “You know that’s never how it was.”
“Apparently, what I thought I knew was all crap. You’re exactly like my dad always said. Worthless. I’m only sorry it took something like this to make me realize it.”
He caught her arm when she tried to run, swinging her back into the room. Her fists plowed into his shoulders and she let out a sob.
“You don’t mean that, doll.”
“Don’t doll me. It’s a good thing you’re great in bed, Ian, because that’s about all you’ve got going for you in life. Good luck turning screwing into a career.”
From the bed, Hailey made a small gasp of dismay, but Ian couldn’t think about her now. Could only think of how he could possibly calm Sarah down. Help her understand…but, fuck, understand what? He couldn’t even understand why he’d done what he’d done. Why he’d throw away everything to sleep with another chick he wasn’t even attracted to.
“Sarah, take a breath. We can talk rationally when you’ve calmed down.”
“Don’t even try and placate me. You’re a pathetic excuse for a human.” She was in a full on rage now. Crying and trembling, struggling to free her wrist from his grip. “You know what? I’m surprised you even made it through high school, but you’re never going to get anywhere in life.”
Ouch. Holy hell, but that had hurt. Everything she was saying hurt.
“Aye?” He nodded slowly. “That’s how you’ve always felt, isn’t it?”
She lifted her chin. “Pretty much, I just spent too long trying to tell myself you’d change.”
With a sheet wrapped around her, Hailey approached the two of them. “Sarah, please. I know you’re upset, but—”
“There is no ‘but’ that could possibly excuse this.” Sarah turned her fury, her pain on the other woman. “You’re one of my best friends. Or you were until you slept with my boyfriend.”
“I’m so sorry,” Hailey whispered, and there was genuine regret in her voice. Tears.
“Save it for someone who cares, because from this point on I don’t.” Sarah jerked away from Ian, stumbling toward the door.
“Don’t leave like this.”
She shook her head, but hesitated at the door. “There will never be anyone more important in your life than you. You’re a selfish asshole. You’re nothing, Ian, and will always be nothing. To me and to everyone else.”
He couldn’t even move now, couldn’t bring himself to try and argue. The desperation and despondency had begun to fade, and the hardened part of him that was damned good at surviving rose to the surface.
He wasn’t proud of the way he let his expression become almost mocking as she stared him down one last time. But it was the only way he knew how not to break. And she was damn close to breaking him.
He forced a crooked smile. “Well now, I’m sure it’s a relief to have that off your chest.”
“You can go to hell,” Sarah whispered. “Both of you.”
And then she’d fled the house.
Ian opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling fan again, bringing himself back to the present. Out of the painful memory.
Every word Sarah had spat at him that day had been like toxic darts, burying deep into his body and poisoning his soul. Killing any shred of decency he’d had left.
He’d known he’d screwed up, and good, but he couldn’t have been prepared to see her sweet demeanor fade into such hate and spite. The way she’d finally stripped away the fluffy outer shell to show exactly how she felt about him. How she’d probably always felt about him, while she’d just been indulging her wild side with a bad boy.
He was nothing. Would never be anything.
How much of a class fool did it make him to have thought she’d seen him differently? That she’d brought out another side of him he’d begun to think possible.
He’d been fooling himself as much as her.
When she’d left the party house, he’d had every intention of giving her a few days to cool off before trying to talk to her again. Trying to smooth things over, at least to the point where maybe they could be friends.
Because the idea of losing her completely had b
een almost a physical pain. And yet within a week she’d been gone. Hadn’t returned to school and then the whispers came that she’d moved to Japan with her family.
And then moving on with his life was the only choice he had.
Chapter Nine
“So what are you up to?”
Cradling her cell phone between her ear and shoulder, Sarah stared at the computer screen and pondered Kenzie’s question.
“Well, I’m going to try and get some work done.”
“Hmm. Will that take you the entire day?”
“Not all day, but several hours likely.” Sarah sighed and leaned back in the chair. “Okay, out with it. What’s going on?”
“It’s just that you haven’t left your house in two days.” Kenzie’s voice gentled. “There’s a great band coming in to the pub tonight, and you should drop by.”
Sarah sighed and lifted her gaze to the view outside the living room window. A night in the pub both tempted and scared the hell out of her.
She craved human contact and had never been the type who liked to spend great amounts of time alone. The evening with Kenzie watching movies had been perfect. They’d talked about high school and they’d laughed—they’d laughed so hard they’d cried at times, but they hadn’t discussed Ian again.
And though she wanted to see Kenzie again tonight, the idea of seeing Ian made everything inside her chest go tight.
“Sarah, it’s just not healthy turning yourself into a recluse.”
“I’m not a recluse. I just have to work.”
“Not every minute of the day. Come in tonight.”
Sarah clutched the phone and closed her eyes. “I don’t know if I can handle seeing him again.”
“I understand.” Kenzie’s tone softened. “We all do. But you’re going to be here for a month. You guys need to get past this. Or at least form a truce.”
A truce. Maybe that’s what Sarah could call it when she had allowed him to stick his tongue into her mouth again. Among the other things he’d done to her. She hadn’t breathed a word about what had happened between her and Ian to Kenzie. Didn’t want to encourage her.
“Drop by for an hour at least. If you’re not comfortable, head out. Plus, there’s no guarantee Ian will even come into the pub tonight.”
“But there’s a chance,” Sarah protested.
“Of course there’s a chance. Aleck may own the pub now, but our family is still a huge part of it. It’s who we are.”
“Aleck owns the pub?”
“Aye. Da sold it to him when he and Ma moved back to Scotland.”
Sarah remembered the story of the McLaughlins. How Brenda McLaughlin had been an American citizen backpacking Europe, when she’d met and married Rodrick McLaughlin in Scotland. After several years and four children, the couple had moved the family to Whidbey Island in the United States. That was almost fifteen years ago. But now it seemed the parents had moved back to Scotland.
She’d missed so much in the last eleven years. Her heart ached when she thought of Kenzie’s parents. They’d been like second parents to her. She had secretly dreamt of them being her in-laws.
God, she’d been so naïve at seventeen. So idealistic.
“Please say you’ll come in. I’m singing too.”
That caught Sarah’s attention. “You’re singing?”
“Aye. I join the band on stage now and then.” Kenzie laughed. “There’s no need to sound so shocked. I’ve got a decent voice.”
“You do. I remember you used to sing on the bus to games we’d cheer at.” Sarah laughed. “We couldn’t shut you up, actually.”
“Ah, well now you need to come in tonight. You deserve a kick in the arse for that comment.”
“I do.” Sarah hesitated only a moment longer. “Fine, I’ll come in.”
“Good. Band goes on at eight thirty. See you tonight.”
“See you.” Sarah hung up the phone and shook her head.
Great, now she had to find something to wear beside yoga pants and a T-shirt. Not to mention she should probably take a shower again.
There was something to be said for being a sloth who never left the house. Oh well.
Before she’d even stepped into the pub, she could hear the quick, giddy notes of a fiddle and a beautiful melodic male voice singing along to the upbeat song.
Sarah pushed open the doors to the pub and strode inside. Her footsteps faltered at the scene before her.
This was nothing like it had been during the afternoon where only a handful of customers had lingered. The McLaughlin Pub house was apparently the place to be at night. It was packed to the point of standing room only, and the dance floor was crowded with people actually dancing.
Glancing to the bar, she hoped to find a free stool, but it was equally packed. The crowd around the bar was three deep, waiting to get in their orders.
She spotted a blonde female bartender making drinks beside Aleck, but Kenzie was nowhere to be seen.
Overwhelmed by the crowd and growing more self-conscious by the moment, Sarah glanced back at the door and debated fleeing to Gran’s house.
“Sarah!” Someone caught her elbow, and she vaguely heard her name above the music.
She glanced up to find Colin grinning down at her.
“Come join us for a drink, luv.” He gestured to a table in the corner. “I’ve got plenty of room.”
“Great, thanks.” She followed him back to the table and noted only one beer sitting there.
“Who else is here?” she asked, shrugging off her cardigan sweater. The crowd made it hot in here.
“Kenzie’s working the floor, and Aleck is behind the counter.” He paused. “Are you wondering if Ian is joining us?”
Her cheeks flushed and she gave a slight shrug.
“I don’t know, but there’s always a chance.” Colin’s expression turned gentle. “Will you be okay if he does?”
“I’ll be fine.” Probably. Maybe.
“Aye, you will.” He winked and waved down someone behind her. “What can I get you to drink?”
She glanced over her shoulder and saw Kenzie weaving her way through the crowd.
“Oh, um, maybe a glass of red wine?”
“Done. Kenzie, luv, get your friend a glass of—”
“I know what she likes.” Kenzie leaned down to hug Sarah. “So good to see you here. Are you hungry?”
“I ate a little something earlier, thanks though.”
Kenzie glanced at Colin. “Another beer, dear brother?”
“Not quite yet. Thanks, though.”
With a nod, Kenzie disappeared into the crowd again.
Sarah turned her attention to the small stage near the back of the pub.
“‘Whiskey in the Jar’?” She lifted a brow. “Isn’t this an Irish song?”
“Aye, well I suppose it is,” Colin agreed. “But it’s a song about whiskey, so we don’t hesitate to play it.”
“And you shouldn’t. It’s a fantastic song. Do you sing too?”
He grinned. “Only when I’ve had too much to drink, and even then, not all that well. Kenzie and Aleck are the only two who you’ll find on stage.”
“I see. I’m pretty awful myself.”
“I find that hard to believe. Pretty girls can’t have awful singing voices. There’s some kind of universal rule, I believe.”
She laughed, unable to help herself, and tried to ignore the fact that Colin was bordering on flirting now. The McLaughlins flirted. Every last one of them, and they did it well.
“That’s not a rule, and you would know it if you watched more music videos. Half these pop stars have zero talent.”
“Aye, I suppose you’re right. Can’t stand music videos. I’m surprised you do.”
“I don’t actually. My daughter does.” The laughter fled her voice and she knotted her fingers on the tabletop.
Awareness flickered in Colin’s eyes and he nodded. “That’s right, you have a child. Do you enjoy motherhood?”
&nb
sp; “I do, but then, it’s been my world for a while now.”
“How long, you say?”
“Umm, almost nine years.” Uncomfortable at the turn of conversation, and aware of the land mines she’d have to navigate, Sarah cleared her throat. “And you? Any children?”
“No. None of us have settled down and started families. Though I suppose we’re all getting up in the age where we ought to consider it.” Colin frowned. “Though Aleck came close. Was engaged for a bit, before that was called off.”
“I find it amazing you’re all still single. I’m sure you’re all hot commodities on the island.”
“Me in particular? Are you hitting on me?” His tone lilted upward, his accent a bit stronger as his grin turned unabashed.
Sarah blushed, hotter than she could remember and sputtered for a response.
“No, of course not, I’m—”
“I’m just taking the piss out of ya, luv.”
She relaxed and joined in his laughter, remembering the slang phrase now.
“I was asked to deliver this?”
They both glanced up at the new voice approaching the table.
Sarah’s laughter died and her mouth went dry. You were warned he might show.
“Yes, thank you.” She accepted the glass of wine from Ian and watched as he pulled out the chair to sit next to Colin.
“You’re welcome. Enjoying an evening out I see?”
“I am. Kenzie invited me.” She glanced over at Colin and smiled briefly. “Your brother was sweet enough to let me crash his table. This place is packed.”
“I insisted.” Colin winked.
The mood at the table seemed to shift, become heavier and darker. Seconds ticked by where no one said anything.
Sarah took a sip of wine, but really it may as well have been water for all it mattered.
“I’m going to run to the bathroom. Hold my spot?” She knew they would, but it was just extra words to pretend everything was normal.
“Of course,” Colin agreed.
Sarah scooted her chair back and made her escape, grateful for a moment to compose herself.
Ian watched Sarah nearly run to the bathroom. Her hips swished beneath the denim skirt.
Good Girl Gone Plaid: The McLaughlins, Book 1 Page 9