As if he would argue with that? Instead of lying her down as planned, he maneuvered himself onto the bed and reclined, never pulling from her.
Sarah arranged herself on top of him. Her small hands exploring his chest as she began to move on him slowly.
Christ. That felt amazing.
“Ah…just keep doing what you’re doing.”
“I will.” She rode him faster, her nails teasing over his nipples. “You feel so good.”
He could get used to this position with her. Watching her breasts sway as she took the initiative, just as she’d promised moments ago.
Unable to completely hand over the reigns, he curled his fingers around her waist and thrust up into her.
Her startled gasp was full of pleasure.
“I’m so close.”
“Me too.” He closed his eyes and plunged again.
She rotated her hips, bringing him deeper and hitting unchartered territory.
“So…close.” She threw her head back and let out a series of soft cries.
The spasms of her body around his cock sent him closer to the edge. He took over completely, rolling her back under him and thrusting into her fiercely.
Faster. Until he felt her nails pierce his shoulders and the combination of pain and pleasure hurtled him over the threshold and into oblivion.
“I’m an idiot.” Her soft confusing confession a few minutes later brought him down from the nirvana like high from his release.
“Why?” He lifted himself off her enough to search her gaze, his heart constricting a bit. “Because you slept with me again?”
“No, because I’m a judgmental fool who never questioned why the man I loved might’ve gone to jail for beating someone up.” She touched his cheek and met his gaze.
Man she loved. His heart stuttered at her confession, but she continued talking before he could ask her to repeat it. Just to be sure he wasn’t hearing things.
“Kenzie explained everything tonight. I wish you would’ve told me.”
“She did?” Ah, of course she did. Kenzie carried too much guilt and often blamed herself for his prison time. Any chance she had to redeem her big brother, she did it. “I suppose I should’ve told you, but I’ve gotten in the habit of being tried and convicted by people. That day in the office, when I told you about my felony, I realized you were likely doing the same.”
“I was. And stupid for it. I don’t blame you for what you did.”
He sighed. “Aye, well the courts did. Colin was just inside the restaurant. I could’ve summoned him outside to arrest the attacker. Instead I—”
“Instead you acted on emotion. You’re a passionate man, Ian. It’s why you responded so strongly when you saw Kenzie being hurt. I don’t think it makes you a bad person. More so the opposite. And I’ve met this guy who attacked her. Excuse my language, but he’s a real piece of shit.”
“Aye, he is. And unfortunately he’s walking free.”
“He’ll screw up. Karma always catches up with guys like that.”
“I sure as hell hope so.” He gave a grim shake of his head. He didn’t want to think about this. Not now. There was something else looping in his mind.
“Back to something else you said.” He pushed a strand of hair back off her forehead. “Did I hear you right when you said you loved me?”
She laughed, her gaze sparkling clearly with the emotion now. It left little doubt he’d heard right.
“You caught that, did you?”
“Caught it. Clung to it. Am so happy that my love isn’t one sided.” He cocked his head and pursed his lips, adding lightly, “Though I’m also a bit scandalized by your request that I knock you up again.”
Sarah choked on a laugh and slapped at his chest. “I made no such request.”
“Mmm hmm. You kind of did, actually when you told me to take you bareback.”
She laughed outright now, a blush stealing her cheeks. “In some ways, you’ll never change.”
“Do you want me to?”
“No. I love you exactly the way you are.” She toyed a finger over his chest. “Which is why I don’t want to leave Whidbey at the end of the summer.”
He stilled, not daring to get his hopes up. “You don’t?”
“I don’t. I don’t want to leave you again, or take Emily from the father and family she’s only just discovered.”
A shuddering breath of relief escaped him, and he lowered his head to her breasts. He nuzzled the soft flesh there and listened to the rhythmic pounding of her heart.
“I don’t think you realize what that means to me.” Another thought occurred to him and he lifted his head once more. “So does that mean you’ll marry me then?”
A smile flirted around her mouth. “Aye.”
He laughed at her attempt at a Scottish accent, even as his heart swelled with love.
“There’s no one else for me, Ian. There never has been.”
“And Neil? Will he still be a part of Emily’s life?” Maybe he shouldn’t have asked, especially at this moment, but it was something they would need to discuss.
“No.” Her tone dropped and her words chilled. “I made sure in the divorce documents that he has no rights to her. To me.”
Good.
There was so much he still didn’t know. Should probably know if they were to go forward from here.
“Will you tell me about him? Why you married him?”
“Yes.” Pain flickered across her face. “Because my dad set us up and encouraged us to get together. He was everything my dad wanted for me. A strong military man who would take care of Emily and I. Give us security.” She sighed. “I was still so young. So easily influenced. But Neil…was a terrible mistake.”
All the little hints she or Emily had dropped in conversations floated back to him. He wanted to know everything. As painful as it might be to hear it.
“Why? What happened?”
She hesitated. “Neil and I spent our honeymoon in a hotel in Tokyo. My dad paid for it. It was the first time we…”
She couldn’t finish the words, but Ian heard what she couldn’t say. He hated the image of another man touching her. Trying to seduce her. But it was a part of their history. They’d been apart for eleven years, so it was only natural that both of them would’ve had other lovers. Even if none had ever claimed his heart the way Sarah had.
“And?” he prodded when she didn’t go on.
“And it was awful.” Her smile was sad, almost bitter. “I knew I didn’t love him, and it started to sink in that night that I’d made a mistake. I could only think of you. Any time he tried to touch me, I’d cry.” She closed her eyes. “It made him pretty angry. He knew I was thinking about you. Knew I was still in love with Emily’s dad.”
“And what did he say?”
“He didn’t say much. At least not verbally. He let his fists do the talking.”
“What the fuck did you just say?” Someone was going to die. Just as soon as he figured out where this son of a bitch was.
Rage spiked inside him and red clouded his vision. Her husband had hit her.
“At the time I thought maybe it was a fluke and he’d just lost his temper with me that night. We didn’t try again for months, and I’m pretty sure he found someone else to sleep with. Which I actually was grateful for.” She hesitated. “Though now and then he’d want to try again. It was always awful, and so he’d leave me alone for a while. I started saving my money to leave him. My dad had passed away by then and my mom could barely pay the bills. I felt stuck.”
Fuck. Dammit, the guilt was squeezing his chest like a wrench.
“But after he came back from his last deployment a year ago he hit me again. And he did it in front of Emily. I moved out that night. It was my breaking point.”
“Did he ever hit Emily?”
“No. I would’ve killed him.”
His chest couldn’t seem to untighten from the mass of knots it’d become. “But he hit you.”
“N
ot often, but yes. I’m not proud that I stayed as long as I did—”
“Fucking hell. I should’ve been there—”
“Don’t even make this your fault. Don’t shoulder this blame. You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known. I should’ve never married him in the first place.”
“I suppose there’s a lot of things we should’ve done, or shouldn’t have done.” He sighed and shook his head. “We made some wrong turns in life, and I can only think that this all would’ve been avoided if I hadn’t made that huge fucking mistake with Hailey.”
“Listen to me, Ian. I forgive you for it.” She met his gaze squarely. There was only a hint of sadness there, but the dominant emotion was sincerity. “I think I did years ago, honestly. We were both so damn young and neither of us made the best choices. I’m not without guilt. I said horrible things to you that were only driven from a broken heart. I didn’t mean them.”
She forgave him for that night. Amazing. How was he blessed with such an amazing woman?
“Sarah.” He kissed her gently. “I should’ve tried harder to keep you and known your words were empty. I should’ve tried to find you in Japan.”
“As much as you broke my heart that day, I broke yours as well.”
Aye. She had. And yet he would never blame her for it.
“Pain can make us do stupid things.” She bit her lip and shook her head. “I hope some day you’ll be able to forgive me for not telling you about Emily.”
“I don’t blame you. I might’ve done the same. You didn’t know the details of my conviction, and you had to think of Emily. We played the hand life dealt us.”
She kissed his chest and made a soft sigh. “I think Gran left me the house to give us a bit of a push. Thanks to her, we have a new hand. A fresh start.”
“And I intend to play that hand like a bitch and win big,” he growled and lowered his head to kiss the tip of one breast again.
Her laugh turned into a moan, and beneath his weight she squirmed. Her legs opening to him again.
“I’ve already won big,” she murmured. “I have you. I love you so much.”
His heart swelled. “I love you more.”
“Not possible.”
He caught her hands and slid them above her head, pinning them there. Using his knees, he pushed her thighs apart and then sank back into her slick body again.
“I guess I’ll just have to prove it.”
“Yes.” Her eyes closed and she sighed with pleasure. “I guess so.”
Chapter Nineteen
Music piped through the speakers of McLaughlin’s Pub. The pub was closed, but you wouldn’t know it by the laughter and tears flowing in the establishment.
Sarah watched as Kenzie attempted to teach Emily some of the dance moves for Highland Dancing.
The announcement that she and Emily were staying on the island had been greeted with cheers, tears and toasts. Even more frenzy-inducing news was that Sarah and Ian were going to get married.
“Even your mom’s dancing,” Ian murmured next to her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her dance.”
“She’s not bad, huh?” Sarah smiled and snuggled closer beneath her future husband’s arm.
He glanced down at her and smiled. The intimacy and love that shone in his eyes made her heart skip.
When was the last time she’d been this happy? Felt so completely full and perfect? Emily had brought a love and enrichment into her life she’d never known was possible. But Ian had been the missing puzzle piece that had never worked before.
“Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad—oh it never gets old!” Emily came bouncing over, eyes twinkling.
The slumber party with Kenzie had been amazing, from what Emily had said. Kenzie had taken her auntie liberties to the extreme. Emily wore a sparkly brand new dress loaded with glittery happy faces and peace signs, black boots with buckles, and her hair was braided into several intricate-looking twists and loops.
“Hello, my adorable daughter.” Ian reached out and snagged his daughter, tickling her on the side.
Emily squealed with delight and hugged Ian. “Do I get to be a flower girl in your wedding? Or am I too old? ’Cause if I’m too old, I should at least get to be a bridesmaid.”
Sarah laughed, her heart so full of happiness and love, it didn’t feel as if her chest could contain it.
“You can be whatever you want to be, honey.”
Emily narrowed her eyes, the gesture so like her dad, and then nodded.
“Bridesmaid. That flower girl thing is for little kids. And I’m a tween.”
And with another whoop of excitement, she was off again to rejoin Kenzie on the dance floor.
“Food’s here.”
Aleck and Colin appeared with plates full of fries, shepherd pies, fried fish, and more food than anyone could eat in a day—let alone the next hour before the pub was set to open to the public.
Sarah watched as everyone gathered around the two tables they’d pulled together. Hands blurred in a flash as people began to divide and conquer the food.
Eleven years later, and she was exactly where she was meant to be. They’d come full circle.
A soft content sigh escaped her.
Ian squeezed her shoulder and she glanced up at him. The same look that must’ve been in her eyes was in his. So much love. So much happiness.
“I love you,” he murmured.
“I love you more.” She lifted her head and met the kiss he was already leaning down to take.
To quote their daughter, it never got old…
Parking her car outside the pub, she swallowed hard and wondered if she were crazy.
You could just leave. You don’t need to do this.
No. She couldn’t.
Pushing open her door, she strode across the parking lot and headed to the front door of McLaughlin’s Pub.
She hesitated, just for a moment. One foot turned back toward her car, the temptation to just turn and drive away still so strong.
No. They deserved to know. After smoothing a hand down her scrubs and pushing back the fatigue from working an overnight shift, she opened the door.
It took a moment for her gaze to adjust to the dim lighting and to locate the group inside.
“I’m sorry, but we’re not yet open,” a male voice called out.
“No wait.” She recognized Ian McLaughlin as he stood from the table. “Hailey?”
She nodded, the lump in her throat so massive she couldn’t breathe past it.
“Get out.” Another chair scraped on the floor, and her startled gaze darted to Ian’s twin brother, Colin, as he strode quickly toward her. “You have no business here.”
Before he could reach her, Sarah was at his side, pulling him back.
“It’s fine, Colin. Please, sit down.”
For a moment, Colin’s gaze locked on Hailey’s and the blazing resentment in them had her flinching. She expected it from Ian and Sarah, but hadn’t prepared herself to see it from a family member. How naïve of her.
“Is there something we can help you with?” Sarah’s tone, though polite, held a thread of tension.
This was the Sarah she remembered. Patient and nice, even when she had every reason to hate her. An ache bloomed in her heart and not for the first time she missed the friendship with Sarah she’d destroyed.
“Hello, Sarah. Ian.” Hailey thrust her hands into the pockets of her scrubs and forced a slight smile. “Could we talk for a moment? Privately?” She appeared as if she wanted to turn tail and run. “Maybe step outside?”
Sarah glanced at Ian, and they seemed to communicate silently before she nodded.
“All right.”
Hailey turned and walked back out of the pub, knowing the other two would follow her.
The parking lot was deserted and offered them the privacy she needed.
She turned to face them and her heart sank. There was so much regret and pain on Ian’s face. His gaze wouldn’t meet hers as his arm stayed securely around Sarah’s wa
ist.
They were together again. As they always should’ve been. She’d heard the rumors that Sarah had returned, and then that she and Ian were involved again. But it was only when she’d learned the two had a daughter that Hailey knew she had to come forward.
“Hailey,” Sarah began, discomfort clear in her voice. “We don’t really need to do this. Ian and I are trying to forgive and forget what happened that night—”
“That’s just it. You don’t know what happened that night.” Hailey drew in a shuddering breath, and glanced at Ian. “Neither of you do.”
Sarah shook her head.
“You mean I was just too drunk to remember?” Ian said flatly. “I have a good guess. There’s no need to go into details—”
“There is, actually.” Hailey closed her eyes briefly. “I should’ve done this years ago.”
“Done what?” Sarah’s tone shifted into unease.
No turning back now. They already despised her. While what she was about to tell them may not make things easier, it would shift the hurt. Shift the betrayal. And they deserved to know the truth.
Hailey took a deep breath and forced herself to continue. “Back in high school, I was in a really bad place. You probably heard the rumors. My parents were crackheads and dirt poor. More than once CPS got involved, and there was a real danger of my younger brother and I being taken away. Separated.”
It was hard to talk about it, because it seemed a lifetime ago. There was so much shame associated with those years.
“I heard the rumors,” Sarah admitted. “Though I wasn’t sure if they were true. You kept that part of your life pretty private.”
She’d had to.
“Things got even worse my senior year,” she went on. “Mom was late on bills and really hurting for money, and the ways she was talking about earning it…weren’t good.” Hailey drew in a ragged breath, hesitated, and then lifted her gaze to meet Sarah’s dead on. “So when your dad approached me and offered me five hundred dollars to make it look like I slept with Ian, I said yes.”
No one said anything for a moment, but the small, choked gasp came from Sarah. Ian caught her as her knees seemed to give out.
Good Girl Gone Plaid: The McLaughlins, Book 1 Page 20