Her face felt hot. She had to be glowing red. Ash didn’t so much as look her way. What the hell was going through his mind? Maybe it was best that she didn’t know.
17
Five weeks later …
“Am I making the right decision?” Alice sat down. It wasn’t as easy as before. Her belly was curved to the degree that she actually looked pregnant and not fat. It was undeniable. She was expecting. Both nervousness and excitement filled her.
Then again, even though she was just over three months, that put her at over halfway through her pregnancy already. It was nuts. Totally nuts. So was she though, as well as this whole situation.
“Yes, you are making the right decision.” Meredith nodded. “You have to give it a try or you’ll never know. You’ll always regret it. Don’t worry about the salon, I’ll take care of everything.” Alice had made Meredith manager and had found a replacement for herself.
Alice sighed. “Ash is treating me like … I don’t know … I want to say a friend, but that wouldn’t be right. Aside from treating me like I’m breakable, he’s acting like I’m an acquaintance or something.”
“You can’t blame him for being worried about you. He did go through hell before with his late wife … mate. You know what I mean. And with everything that happened. He’s going to be a little over-protective.” She’d confided in Meredith about what had happened. Alice had needed a sounding board. Apparently, she still did.
“Hmmmm. I think if he could carry me around everywhere, he would.” Alice made a face. “Nope. I’m wrong on that one because carrying me would actually entail him touching me, which he doesn’t do.” She shook her head. Ash had been back and forth over the last few weeks. He’d gone with her to her doctor’s visit. He’d been taking her stuff back to his village. Slowly but surely moving her into his place. She’d decided to keep her apartment though, and all of her furniture. You never knew. A girl couldn’t be too careful. Things might not work out between her and Ash. At least she would still have her home and her business if that happened.
Her stomach flipped. A nervous reaction. “I just don’t know.” Alice shook her head. “I think I might be making the wrong decision.”
“You’re not,” Meredith spoke in a reassuring voice. She sounded a touch bored as well. “You’re doing the right thing.” Then again, this was the hundredth time they were having this conversation. Meredith was probably blue in the face from saying the same thing over and over.
“I’m sorry.” Alice huffed out a breath.
“What do you have to be sorry about?” Meredith frowned.
“You must be so sick of hearing me go on and on, by now.” Her eyes stung. They filled with tears. “I wish I could take you with me.”
“I wish I could go too.” Meredith fast blinked. Then she smiled broadly. “I think there are a ton of single, seriously hot shifters out there.”
Alice laughed. “You and your one-tracked mind.”
“Not really.” Meredith shook her head. “I’ve completely given up on Shifter Night. If you ever invited me … actually, you have to invite Aunty Meredith. I will have to visit you guys. I promise I would be on my best behavior.”
“I will definitely invite you. I swear.”
“And,” her friend squeezed her arm, “give Ash a chance. He’s just afraid of falling in love with you and having something happen to you. Of course, that’s not going to happen,” she quickly added.
Alice looked at Meredith like she had lost her ever-loving mind because, quite frankly, she didn’t know how wrong she was. “I’m not so sure about Ash falling in love with me.” It hurt to say it. “Sometimes a couple can have really great sex and not be relationship material, and I think that might be us. It’s probably a good thing he doesn’t want to touch me right now. It’ll give us a chance to figure things out.”
Meredith got this weird look. “I think that’s wise. Don’t do the wild monkey dance with him again unless there is some kind of commitment.” Then Alice realized what the look was. It was pity. Shit! Her friend was giving her that look of pity. “You need to try very hard not to fall in love with him any more than you have already.”
Alice choked out a laugh and clutched her belly. “Oh please!” She laughed. “You’re wrong on that note. Do I feel something for him? Sure. Love though?” She snorted. “I hardly know Ash. I only recently found out he has a son ‒ and he only told me because I’m pregnant. I may have known him for months, but I’ve seen him a handful of times.” She shook her head. “And we didn’t exactly talk much when we were together.” You can shut up now, Alice. She forced herself to clamp her mouth closed.
Meredith widened her eyes and folded her arms. Her friend looked pointedly at her.
“What? I’m not in love with him. He’s the father of my unborn children. I …” No, there was no way. Just no way. “I admit I have feelings for him. I admit that I could fall in love like that,” she snapped her fingers, “being that I’m one big hormone at the moment. I’ll be careful.”
“I don’t want to see you hurt.” Meredith hugged her. Alice hugged her friend right back. Meredith might not be right about her already being in love with Ash, but she was right on the money when she said Alice could get hurt. She could get hurt really easily. Not that Ash seemed the least bit interested, but sex was out. Completely off the table.
18
The forest was right behind him. Thick and green. It went on for miles and miles. Thousands of acres. Beautiful and terrifying. Alice was about to go into the wilderness. To live in the middle of nowhere. Her hands shook a little, so she clenched them for a few seconds.
“Ready?” Ash asked.
She shrugged. “Are you sure I can’t just walk?”
“Very sure.” Ash half-smiled. Something in her belly clenched. “It’s far. The terrain is rough. We’ll stop often.”
“I’m not good at riding.” That didn’t sound right. “Animals.” Oh shit. Now she’d referred to him as an animal. Was that okay? “I tried to ride a horse once and it ended in disaster,” she said, talking far too quickly.
Ash laughed. “I’m not a horse though. I’m a bear. Big difference. I should also mention that I keep my intelligence after I shift.” He smiled. “I’m interested in hearing about what happened that day. Your horseback ride?” He removed his sweater and then the shirt that was underneath it.
What had they been talking about? Oh yeah! Horses. “It was on one of those trail rides. The horses normally follow one another. Well …”
Ash unsnapped his jeans and her throat went a little dry. She glanced down and then back up. Her mind had gone completely blank.
“Are you okay?” The edge of his mouth twitched. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before. Don’t tell me that you’re shy all of a sudden?”
“It’s been a long time since,” she widened her eyes, “since I last … since we last …” Shit! Why was she talking about this? Why had she brought it up? “Um … a lot has happened. This happened.” She rubbed her belly.
“Yeah, it has been a while and a lot has happened.”
“Talking about … um … sex,” she tried to stay calm, “I don’t think we should have it … sex that is.” This was not how she had meant to approach this. He hadn’t once tried to initiate anything. Heck! He had barely even looked at her. Certainly not in that way. When Ash didn’t say anything, she obviously felt the need to fill the quiet because she blabbered on. “I mean, if we’re going to try to see where this goes ‒ us ‒ then we need to get to know each other first. It would be better if sex stayed out of the equation.”
Ash nodded once. “Okay.” He nodded a second time. “Sure thing.” Then he turned and pulled his jeans down.
That had been too easy. He hadn't tried to change her mind. She was so stupid to have brought it up. What if she brought it up so that he could argue with her? Well, it had had pretty much the opposite effect. It wasn't like she wanted sex with Ash. Even if she did find him ridicul
ously attractive, it wasn't true. Only now he would be convinced that it was. Oh brother!
There was a cracking noise, it drew her attention back to him. Ash’s muscles seemed to expand and bulge even more. She watched in fascination as his jaw elongated and fur sprung up all over him. Her mouth fell open as thick nails sprang out where his fingers used to be. Within seconds, an enormous grizzly bear stood in front of her. He had such thick fur. Ash roared, his teeth were enormous. Then his eyes locked with hers. They were the same dark brown. So dark that they almost looked black. His irises were circled by golden flecks.
“Wow,” she whispered.
The bear that was Ash crouched down.
Alice put a hand on his back. His fur was long and thick. She was amazed at how soft it was. It certainly didn’t look nearly as soft as it felt.
Ash turned his huge head her way and made a growling, grunting noise. He was clearly telling her to get on. She didn’t have to hear the words to understand what it meant.
“Even bossy in bear form.” The words just slipped out.
The glint in his eyes changed. She was sure there was a humorous edge. He grunted again, softer this time.
“Okay, okay.” Alice climbed aboard. She had a backpack with an extra jacket and some water.
Ash began to walk in the direction of the forest. Alice threaded her fingers through the long hair on his neck and held on tight, just as they'd discussed. He went slowly at first but quickly picked up the pace until he was almost running. She had to hold on with her legs. It wasn't easy with her sense of balance out of whack. Her belly wasn't all that big yet, but it still got in the way. She had hours of this ahead of her. Not her idea of fun. She couldn't complain though. Ash was doing most of the work. She just needed to sit tight.
Her back ached. Her arms shook, as did her legs. Alice was completely exhausted. She straightened up, stretching her muscles, which protested in response.
Ash growled. Alice watched in fascination as the bear before her seemed to fold into itself. His hair pulled back into his skin and his jaw shortened. Within a few seconds, a very naked Ash stood before her. His hair was tussled. There were a couple of dirt smudges on his rock-hard abs. And on his thick, really beautiful, thighs. Huh! She was losing her mind. She gave an internal sigh. She had to admit though, Ash did have amazing thighs. She wasn’t looking at the rest of his nakedness.
Not going there.
Swallowing hard, she looked away. The village was right there. She could see smoking chimneys through the trees. She could hear someone talking.
“This way.” Ash took the right fork in the path. “I stay in a small cabin in town. It only has two bedrooms.”
What did that mean?
Did he expect her to sleep with him?
She was excited by the concept, which irritated her. They couldn’t sleep together and not end up having sex. She was going to have to decline.
“I’m building a bigger place for us to stay. We’ll need it once the babies come.” He looked uncertain. Like her silence was a sign that she wasn’t happy.
“We’ll be fine in the two-bedroom place.”
He smiled. “It’ll have to do for now and maybe for the first month or two after they come, but the cabin is way too small long-term.”
She nodded. “Wow! This is quaint.”
The village was comprised of rows of cabins with neat little gardens. There was quite a bit of space between each house. Plenty of the gardens were growing herbs or vegetables.
“Did you tell Ethan about me?” she asked.
“He knows you’re coming.”
“Does he know about the babies?” She glanced his way.
Ash shook his head. “I didn’t think he would understand, so I didn’t tell him anything about the twins. I told him you’re a friend of mine and that you’re staying with us for a while.”
“A while?” She raised her brows and then smiled.
“He’s still too young to grasp the concept of time, besides …” Ash let the sentence die.
“Besides what?”
“We still haven’t figured things out.”
Ouch!
Again, at least he was being honest with her. She definitely needed to guard her heart. They could not share a room. Before she could tell him, they arrived at a cabin.
A little boy burst out the front door and hurtled down the stairs stopping dead. Eyes on her. “Hello.” He waved.
Her heart instantly swelled inside her chest. It felt like the organ was almost too big for the cavity. Alice swallowed hard, and then she smiled. Couldn’t help herself. “Hi! You must be Ethan.”
He beamed, nodding his head. His cheeks were plump, his hair overgrown. It was the same color as Ash's. The boy was the spitting image of his father. Just the eyes, she thought with a pang. They were big and striking. A mossy green.
His eyes were definitely from his mother. “I’m Alice,” she said, “and I’m very pleased to meet you.”
“Why is your tummy so big?” His eyes darted to her belly.
Ash chuckled.
Alice rubbed her belly using both her hands, she looked over at Ash. Not sure what to say. Ash stopped laughing and nodded.
“I have two babies growing inside me.”
“Oh!” That seemed to appease Ethan. “Come, I’ll show you your room. It’s actually my room.” He beamed up at her. “I’m sleeping with my daddy.”
So much for her worrying about their sleeping arrangement. Thank goodness she hadn’t ‘set the record straight’ or she would have sounded like an idiot. Just like she had sounded when she had forbidden sex. She really was only here because she was pregnant. Ash was so far from interested it was scary. Despite the unexpected pain that bloomed, she forced herself to smile at the little guy. “That would be great.”
19
Two weeks later …
Two big green eyes looked up at her. “What do you want Froggie and me to do next?” Ethan held onto one green arm and the stuffed toy dangled from his hand.
“Um …” The chicken was in the oven. The vegetables were chopped and ready to roast in the drippings. Ethan had ‘helped’ her cut them up. Not really! He’d used a butter knife and had chopped up all of one carrot, but he’d felt like he helped and that was what was important. He also helped Alice to throw away all the peels. She planned on making some gravy a bit closer to meal time.
Ethan looked up at her with such expectation in his eyes. She could see that he was enjoying himself. So was she. The little guy was easy to like. Who was she kidding, he was easy to love. He was the sweetest little kid.
Alice wiped her damp hands on her apron. “What about a dessert?” She raised her brows.
Ethan’s eyes brightened up. “Yes, yes!” He bounced around. Froggie bounced around too. “What should we make?”
“Hmmmm … let me see.” She pretended to think about it. She’d spotted a few ingredients that would work. “What about a banana pie?”
His mouth widened and he nodded hard. “Froggie loves bananas.”
“Does he?”
“Yes. Very much.”
“Oh good.” Alice rubbed her hands together. “Let’s make a banana pie then. Can you and Froggie help me fetch the things we need?”
“I a big boy.” Ethan beamed.
“You sure are.” She couldn’t help but smile. “Right, we need cookies. I saw some in the cupboard over there.”
Ethan raced over to the pantry and opened the door.
“They’re up there on the top shelf, so let me help you get them.” Making sure to bend through the knees, Alice lifted the little tyke. Ethan was heavier than he looked. “What have you been eating?” she giggled as she lifted him. His hands were outstretched.
“You shouldn’t be doing that.” Even though she could hear it was Ash, Alice still jumped at his sudden booming voice. He’d been out all day.
Then he was there taking Ethan from her. “Hi, buddy.”
“Hi, Daddy.” Ethan grabbe
d the cookies.
“While you’re up there, get the chocolate chips as well, please, Ethan.” She risked a glance at Ash and almost wished she hadn’t. He wore low-riding, faded blue jeans and nothing else. She could even smell him. So good.
“We making banana pie, Dad.”
“Oh really? That sounds good.” Ash turned and put Ethan down before pulling back up to his full height. Her eyes were drawn to his abs, to the smattering of hair there. Alice quickly averted her gaze. “Hi.” Ash leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.
The cheek.
What the hell?
He’d taken to doing that when he left and returned home. A kiss on the cheek. He may as well slap her while he was at it. Things felt awkward and stilted between them. The only things they talked about were Ethan and the pregnancy. She realized that she hadn’t said anything back. “Hi. How was your day?” Next they’d discuss the weather.
“Good.” That was all. Alice waited for more, but Ash was already turning to face Ethan. “What else do we need to make this pie?”
“Don’t know.” Ethan’s eyes were wide.
“What kind of pie is it?” Ash asked.
“Banana pie,” Ethan replied.
“So, what else do we need to make a banana pie?”
Ethan shrugged and Ash chuckled. “What about a couple of bananas?”
“Yes.” Ethan nodded. “Yes, bananas!” he yelled.
Alice had to laugh.
Ash loved it when Alice laughed. Heck, he loved it when she smiled. The way her big brown eyes lit up. The sound that rolled off her lips. It came from deep inside her. Somewhere sweet and pure. Ethan had taken to her the moment he laid eyes on her and Ash couldn’t blame his son. The two of them had become fast friends, spending a ton of time together.
The only thing was that Alice didn’t seem comfortable around him. She hadn’t settled in like he’d hoped she would. He was working his butt off to get the new place ready. Maybe if she had her own space. Alice couldn’t possibly be happy staying in Ethan’s room. The bed was low. There were soft toys on every shelf. The side lamp was covered in car print, as were the drapes. The space was very much for a little boy. All blues with splashes of red. Ash had offered to swap on several occasions, but Alice wouldn’t have it. The best thing he could do was work doubly hard to get their cabin done.
Unbound (Shifter Night Book 2) Page 14