“Father had warned me to be on my very best behavior,” Charlotta said. “So that was a part of it. Back then, because we had moved so often and every place was so different, I usually just spent the first few days trying to figure everything out.”
“You weren’t prepared to come to a place and sink down roots.” Aunt Bella’s eyes twinkled when she smiled. “It didn’t take us long to get you countrified.”
“No, it sure didn’t.” Charlotta grinned. “And it didn’t take me long to know that this was home.” She turned her head to include her uncle in the conversation. “Moving down the road to the house you and Father built for us didn’t change that.”
“Oh, my. That’s one of the sweetest things you’ve ever said to me.” Bella pulled a hankie out of her pocket and dabbed at her eyes.
I should have come home more often. I made these good people pay for the careless words my father said to me. Charlotta determined then and there she wouldn’t let that happen again.
“Come on, girlie. While Bella shows your young men every photo album she has, let’s see if you remember how to do chores.”
Charlotta grinned at her uncle, the pet name he’d given her all those years ago sounding just right at that moment. All through the years she’d lived on this ranch, there’d really been no such thing as a day completely free of chores.
Her father had been in the military and they’d traveled around a lot. But coming here, living here was the first real security she’d ever known. Daily chores had been a part of that, and she’d seized on the ritual the way a drowning child might grab hold of a life preserver.
“Yes, sir. I’d be pleased to give you a hand with the chores.”
Uncle Leroy laughed. Then he shot a grin at Jesse and Barry. “You best keep your wits about you with this one. She’s cheeky, but sneakily so.”
Jesse laughed. “Yes, sir, we did notice that.”
“It’s actually one of the things we like best about her,” Barry said.
Charlotta sent them both a look that felt sexy as hell. When Barry blushed and Jesse winked, she figured her message was clear. She could hardly wait until they were back at the Hilton later tonight.
Once out the door, she stood silently watching the man who’d been such an integral force in shaping the woman she grew to be. He’d always done this, taken a moment to look over the land, the barns, as if he needed that moment to appreciate the view, appreciate what he had.
Then he nodded and set off, and they walked side by side toward the barn. Charlotta had figured that since he and her men had spent some time together discussing who knew what, that Aunt Bella would have been the one to pull her aside and perhaps have a similar “conversation.”
She should have known better. Whenever her father was in a mood, or whenever he and her mom would take off for a few days as they’d begun to do when she’d been a teen, it had always been Uncle Leroy who’d spent time with her.
The barn door didn’t creak when he opened it, because he was a stickler for making sure things were maintained. Inside the structure, the smell of horse and hay—that familiar scent that said home to her—rose up and enveloped her.
Maybe that’s why I’m always so happy when I spend the afternoon at the Benedict’s ranch. Her little imp giggled and whispered it likely had more to do with the stupendous orgasms they gave her.
“So, equine therapy, is it? Doesn’t surprise me one bit that the eggheads would’ve figured out that horses could help folks. I never encountered a worry or a care that saddling my horse and taking a nice long ride didn’t help set to rights.”
They’d discussed over coffee and cookies the work she was doing in Waco, shortly after they’d arrived. “The results are undeniable. The horses seem to sense there’s something hurting with their riders. For some of the kids in my program, the bond they form with their horse is the first example of unconditional love they’ve ever known.”
“You don’t have to convince me, honey. I saw the results right here, right after you came to live with us. The horses and the chores we insisted you do, that’s what helped you most, helped you to settle in. You loved riding, and the chores gave you something to own, something for you to be proud of.”
“I was thinking the same thing just a few minutes ago. Coming here was the first stability I’d ever known.”
Leroy gave her a bucket to hold while he filled it with oats. They stopped at each of the horses’ stalls—five in this barn in all—and put oats into their troughs. There was an automatic watering system in the barn, which ensured the horses never went without hydration.
When they reached the last stall, he turned to her. “When your daddy retired and came home—well, he wasn’t the same man who’d enlisted and left. Being in the army changed him. Going to war changed him. Hell, going to war would change any man.” He shook his head. “I’ve never said a word against him, and I’m not doing that now so much as I’m letting you know how I really feel. I just tried to be there for you, because a young girl needs a man in her life she can depend on to be her anchor.”
“You did a good job of that, Uncle Leroy. You and this ranch gave me stability, and let me find…me.”
“I wasn’t overjoyed when I found out you were dancing over there in Morehead to pay for your college, I’ll be honest with you about that. But I trusted you to know what you were doing. Hearing the stories from some of our friends whose kids have gone to college, I reckon you were pretty smart to pay for your schooling that way. Hell, Joey Palmer just graduated and he owes more than two hundred and fifty thousand dollars! How ‘n the hell will he pay that off before he retires, I’d like to know?”
Hearing her uncle’s words freed something up inside her. “Maybe Dad was just afraid of what might happen to me, and let those fears take over and come out of his mouth.”
“He shouldn’t have gone off on you the way he did. And of course, being your father—well, it’s always been hard for him to admit when he’s wrong.” Leroy sighed. “And I don’t have to tell you, he won’t be happy to find out you’ve got two boyfriends.”
“No, you don’t have to tell me that.” Charlotta had known all along that taking up with Jesse and Barry could very well be the final nail in the coffin of her relationship with her father.
And is part of the reason I’ve been too afraid to tell those good men that I love them.
“You know, girlie, just because a man is a father that don’t make him God. He ain’t always right. I ain’t always been right, neither.”
And sometimes, there was nothing you could do about the way people were but accept them. For the first time, Charlotta began to see that, as much as she wanted to mend her relationship with her parents, that might not be possible at all. And the odds toward impossibility grew if she decided she wanted a permanent arrangement with those two Benedicts looking at pictures in her Aunt Bella’s living room.
“I love them, Uncle Leroy. I love them both so much.” It was the first time she’d said the words aloud. She never could have imagined the first time she’d said them would have been to her Uncle—her second father.
“Of course you do. You couldn’t be with them, otherwise. If my opinion counts—I like them. They’re ranchers, so I know they understand the meaning of hard work. And they love you, Charlotta, so I know they understand what’s important in life.”
“Your opinion counts, Uncle Leroy.” He wasn’t a man given to personal displays of affection, but right then and there, that didn’t matter. He’d just filled her heart so unexpectedly, she couldn’t help herself. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “I love you. Thank you for being my anchor, all these years.”
And she became misty eyed when his arms, sure and strong, hugged her right back.
“Girlie, if you always follow your heart, then you’ll never regret a single decision that you ever make, no matter who may be against ya.”
* * * *
“Mrs. Carmichael, may I ask you a question
…about Charlotta’s parents?” Barry had followed Charlotta’s aunt into the kitchen. He’d enjoyed looking at her collection of photographs and listening to her talk about Shar when she was younger.
“You may, if you call me Aunt Bella.”
Barry grinned. Charlotta’s aunt reminded him of Grandma Kate. Jesse came into the kitchen in time to hear her response to his question.
Aunt Bella stood at the stove. When she opened the oven door the aromas intensified, and Barry’s stomach actually growled.
“If you tell us where things are, we’ll set the table,” Jesse said.
“I don’t mind you hunting things up,” the woman said. “And I appreciate the help. Now, what was it you wanted to ask me, Barry? I’ll answer you if I can—for two reasons. I know how clam-like our Shar can be.”
Barry waited, but she clearly wanted him to ask. “What’s the second reason?”
“Leroy approves of you both, and hell, I’ll toss in a third reason. I can see you both love her.”
“Her parents were down on Shar for more than just her dancing, weren’t they?”
Aunt Bella sighed. “You’ve got good instincts. I can’t really speak to what her life was like before she came to us,” Aunt Bella said. “But I can guess.”
Bella continued to check the pots she had cooking on the stove. Barry thought she needed to keep busy, because the topic upset her. “My brother-in-law, Orville, thrived in the army. He wanted his home life to be as regimented as his professional life. And Beth…well, let’s just say that she’s always been a good wife to her husband but not necessarily a good mother to her daughter. He’s always come first with her.”
“So they haven’t changed their minds? I mean, clearly, she successfully completed her degree, she didn’t end up knifed in a back alley by some drug dealer, and she’s doing good, important work with children.”
“She’s really good at what she does, Aunt Bella,” Jesse said. “She makes a difference for those kids.”
“Your love for her—the both of you—is so beautiful for me to see. All I ever wanted for her was happiness and to be loved. So I’m not going to lie to you or sugarcoat things. Orville ordered her to not only give up the dancing, but on her desire to go to college and become a psychologist. We aren’t sure why the latter, or what he thought she should be doing with her life otherwise. But we all knew he expected her to obey him without question.” Bella shook her head. “I have to be honest with you. We thought she would, too. But she refused. She wasn’t a child any more, after all. And from that moment on, as far as he was concerned, she was an outcast. He even told her as much. It’s just a damn good thing—pardon my French—our Shar grew into a woman of strength.”
No wonder she was so upset over what he and Jesse had told her about last Christmas.
“I think there’s a part of her, down deep, that accepted her father’s judgment as true,” Barry said.
“We’re not even sure if she’s aware of it,” Jesse said. “We understand what she’s going through, emotionally, because of circumstances in our own lives.”
Aunt Bella turned and scanned the table. “You’re doing a good job. Keep going, and keep talking. We’ll even up the score.”
Barry looked over at Jesse. His brother nodded. So he told Aunt Bella about growing up in their house, about the way they’d treated their youngest sister, and about their mother’s response to their actions, and their decision to leave Montana and come to Texas.
“No disrespect meant toward your momma, but I’ve long believed that just because a body can be a parent, doesn’t mean they should. But it’s good, don’t you think, that you and Shar have something so important—so basic—in common?”
“Yes,” Jesse said. “It is good.”
“Aunt Bella, may I ask you one more question?”
“Of course.”
Barry’s smile sobered when the woman looked his way. “You were the one to give her that nickname, weren’t you? You were the first one to call her Shar?”
“Poor girl had to answer to Charlotta Elizabeth Mary her whole life until she came here. Made her sound like a crotchety old maiden aunt. Shar, on the other hand, sounded like a beautiful, young, spunky girl.”
Barry recalled that their woman had told her that only her nearest and dearest got to call her Shar.
“Thank you, Aunt Bella. Thank you for being a good mother to our Shar.”
“Oh, go on. I don’t need any thanks just for loving.”
Barry had spent enough time now with damaged children that he was of a different opinion. He heard the sound of the back door opening, and the voices of Shar and her uncle, laughing. He grinned and stepped over to Aunt Bella. He kissed her cheek and said, “Thank you, anyway.”
Chapter 19
“Thank you.” Charlotta looked from Jesse to Barry. They’d just closed the door on their house in Lusty and both men still had their luggage in their hands.
“You’re welcome—but for what?” Jesse set the two cases he carried down. Barry followed suit, and five seconds later, they surrounded her.
I really love how they do this, how they cocoon me between them. She’d considered herself a woman of strength, and had forged her own path as an adult. But she liked the sense that she was being cared for.
She liked it a lot.
Charlotta focused her attention on both men by simply angling her body. “Thank you for making me go home and reconnect with Uncle Leroy and Aunt Bella. I hadn’t even realized to what degree I’d included them—undeservedly—in my boycott of my parents until…well, until I helped Uncle Leroy with chores. So thank you.”
She was getting used to the way Jesse and Barry would look at each other, as if they were able to read each other’s thoughts. This time, she felt something very different in the vibe between them. Huh, maybe I’m beginning to be able to read their thoughts, too.
“Baby, do you know why we did that?”
Did she? There’d been a huge wall around her heart, one that allowed her to spend time with them, to enjoy them, but stopped her on the precipice of commitment.
That wall was gone.
“I think I do. You sensed that something was holding me back, and, loving me the way you do, you needed to help me understand what that was.” She sighed. “I’ve known that you love me for quite some time, now.”
“Is that right?” Barry asked.
“That is right.” Charlotta felt nervous, but she knew that, like the rest of her emotions, was on her. She had absolutely nothing to be nervous of with these two men.
“What else do you know, Charlotta Carmichael?” Jesse took her hand in his left, and stroked the back of it with his thumb. Barry took her other hand, his expression as focused and intense as his brother’s.
“I know that there was a part of me that believed what my father said—believed that I was less than, that I was somehow tainted. That belief has roots that go back to when I was small, before I ever came to Texas. And I know, standing here right now, that I can finally shake that false belief off me. I’m not a whore, or bad, because I chose to finance my education in the way I did. I’m not a bad person.”
“No, you’re not,” Barry kissed her shoulder. He laid his head against hers for a moment, and then slipped his arms around her and gave her a hug. “Your father was wrong to say what he did. Now, princess. This is a very important question. What else do you know?”
In that moment she knew that they knew, but that they really needed the words.
“I love you. I love you both. I love you both so, so much.”
“We don’t deserve a woman as smart, as good hearted, or as beautiful as you.” Jesse’s voice broke with emotion. “But I guess we really are selfish bastards, because we want you, anyway. So, what do you say, doctor? Do you want to hitch your wagon to a couple of outcasts? Please say yes. Please marry us, Shar. Because, baby, we love you more than we love life.”
“Please marry us, Shar.” Barry’s voice shook with emotion. “
We love you so much. Our lives won’t be worth living if you don’t.”
“I’m an outcast, too,” Charlotta said. “So that makes us the perfect match. And there’s nothing I want more than to be your wife—to claim you both as my husbands.”
“You won’t regret it.” Jesse cupped her face and sweetly kissed each side of her mouth.
“We’ll make you our top priority, princess. You’ll never doubt this is right.”
Her uncle’s words came back to her, and she embraced the truth of them. “No, I’ll never regret following my heart, because my heart brought me to you—and my heart belongs to you. It belongs to you both.”
“Baby.” Jesse’s lips captured hers. Totally delicious, instantly carnal, his kiss comforted and aroused, seduced and soothed.
Needing them both, loving them both, Charlotta cupped her right hand around Jesse’s neck, and sought Barry with her left. That man moved in, pressed close, and stroked her shoulder to bottom, imprinting her, she was certain, with his essence.
Jesse’s tongue danced with hers, a sultry love song only they three could hear. When he slowed their kiss, when he released her lips, she turned to Barry, confident of her welcome, eager for the taste of him.
Barry’s mouth suckled hers. For just a moment she had the taste of both men, and it was an erotic flavor, one she knew she’d crave for the rest of her life.
She ended their kiss. “I need you.” She punctuated her claim by kissing Jesse’s lips, and then Barry’s, a simple kiss of communion. “I need you both. Take me to bed. I need to be naked with you both.”
“Hold onto me, princess.” Barry lifted her into his arms, and they followed Jesse up the stairs. A subtle scent of pine filled the bedroom. Here, the tiny tree top they’d cut before leaving on their short vacation stood in the corner, the simple decorations they’d used, perfect. They’d made a home here, together. Not so much in Lusty or even in this house. The home they’d made was the heart of them, the sanctity of what they shared, their loving.
Love Under Two Outcasts [The Lusty, Texas Collection] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 18