by Leigh Bale
As she cuddled her sisters, she froze at what she’d said. Did she really trust Eli so much? Since he’d arrived home, he’d shown sound judgment, but she still doubted him. He’d told her about his Englisch girlfriend and her heart ached for all that he’d lost. But it hurt Lizzie deeply to know he’d loved someone else so much. That he’d made a life without her. Now he was back. But did she trust him to stay? She wasn’t sure.
When he jerked open the door and leaned inside, she whirled around. His hat, shoulders and arms were covered with snow. Icy drops of water covered his face. He wiped them away with a brush of his hand, his breath puffing on the frigid air. Lizzie hated that he had to be out in this rotten weather.
“I’m going to see if Ginger can pull the car back onto the road. I want all of you to stay inside, out of the wet and cold,” he said.
Lizzie nodded, grateful for his consideration. But something in her expression must have betrayed her thoughts.
“Don’t worry. It’s going to be all right. We’re just making memories to laugh about later.” He flashed her a confident smile, then shut the door.
Annie shivered at the blast of frigid air. “Brr! I’m glad Eli is taking care of this. I’d hate to be outside right now.”
“Me too,” Marty said.
Me three! Lizzie thought. Her respect for Eli grew when she saw that he didn’t complain or shirk his responsibilities. He was a man who didn’t flinch at what had to be done.
They watched as he unhitched Ginger from the buggy. An Englisch man in a pair of blue jeans and a light jacket got out of the car to help. Without a hat or gloves to protect him from the elements, the Englischer hunched his shoulders and mostly just shielded his face from the snow while Eli did the work. Lizzie figured he had no idea how to harness a horse let alone tie the lines to the car. In contrast, Eli moved with speed and confidence. She wondered how he could see what he was doing in the lashing storm. But soon, he had the horse hooked up and she couldn’t help thinking that he’d become an amazing man.
He spoke to the Englischer, seeming completely comfortable around the stranger. While Lizzie preferred not to mingle with the Englisch, she supposed Eli was used to them and their strange ways. A part of her disapproved of his life among them, but right now, she appreciated his goodness and generosity.
Within moments, the Englischer climbed back into his vehicle and put it in Reverse. Through the rear window, Lizzie saw two young children peering out, their faces pale, their eyes round. A woman’s face was visible, looking back from the front seat, and Lizzie realized an entire Englisch familye was inside the car.
With Eli directing the horse, Ginger leaned forward, her hooves digging into the snow as she pulled on the line. The animal’s back was blanketed with white, but she seemed not to notice.
The vehicle’s tires made a whizzing sound as they spun around. Finally, they caught traction and the car moved back a space. Eli led Ginger out of the way as the car came to a rest on the icy pavement.
“You see?” Marty nudged Annie. “Eli isn’t worried one bit, so we shouldn’t be either.”
Annie nodded, huddling closer to her sister. “Ja, the gut Lord would want us to stop and help our neighbors, even if they are Englisch and we’re afraid.”
Tears filled Lizzie’s eyes and she quickly wiped them away so the girls wouldn’t see. Her siblings sounded so confident and grown-up that it touched her heart. She could learn from their generous and trusting example. Their words inspired her to have courage and believe in Eli too. After all, he’d stopped to help in spite of the hardship and discomfort to himself. He’d already done so much for her familye and many other people in their Gmay too. From all appearances, Eli was a good, devout Amish man. He’d suffered a lot recently. When he’d told her about losing his fiancée, he’d seemed so lost and hurt. Lizzie didn’t have the heart to be angry with him anymore. She had to accept that he didn’t love her. That he’d moved on and found another life that didn’t include her. She should move on too. But would he stay? Or would he recover from his loss and decide the Amish life wasn’t for him after all? Already, Lizzie cared too much about him. She told herself it was normal to care for everyone in the Gmay. But if Lizzie wasn’t careful, she could get her heart broken again.
* * *
Eli climbed back into the buggy and breathed a sigh of relief. Conscious of Lizzie watching him, he blew onto his gloved hands, trying to warm them. Without being asked, Lizzie handed him a blanket. He wiped his damp face.
“Wrap it over your body. It’ll warm you up quicker,” she said.
“Danke,” he murmured, startled to hear a croak in his voice. He coughed, hoping he didn’t get hypothermia for his good deeds.
When he had the blanket packed tight around his upper torso and thighs, he felt better and shivered less. He cleared his voice and took hold of the lead lines. “Mark Walden and his familye are in the car. Mrs. Walden is five months pregnant and they’re very grateful that we stopped.”
Lizzie nodded. “Ja, it was the right thing to do.”
He swallowed, grateful to be out of the wet and cold. “The Waldens are going to accompany us to the farm, just to ensure we arrive safely. Would you rather ride in their warm car while I drive the buggy?”
Lizzie shook her head. “That’s very kind of them, but I’d rather stay with you.” She glanced back at the girls, still huddled together beneath a heavy quilt. “I believe we are warm enough.”
Eli wasn’t surprised by her decision. He’d been living among the Englisch and was comfortable around them. But Lizzie wasn’t.
“All right. They’ll drive ahead of us, so that their lights can show the way.”
He wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw a flicker of relief fill her eyes before she looked away. Releasing the brake, he called loudly to Ginger, fearing the horse couldn’t hear him above the storm. Either she caught his command or the animal felt the leads against her back, because she leaned into the harness, dug in her hooves and pulled forward. Eli felt the grating of the buggy wheels, frozen in ice. They gave way and were soon moving at a smooth pace. The black car drove in front of them, going slow. The bright taillights of the vehicle helped Eli see the way in the falling snow.
“I’ll be glad when we’re home,” Marty sniffled.
“Me too. I don’t want to do any more good deeds today,” Annie said, her voice trembling.
“Ja, do you think we’ll make it okay?” Lizzie asked.
Focusing on the road, Eli didn’t look at any of them, but he felt the girls crouched forward between him and Lizzie. A little hand rested on his shoulder and he thought it must be Annie’s. He imagined each child’s eyes were wide with fear and a protective feeling filled his chest with warmth and compassion. He’d do almost anything to keep these three girls safe and wanted to reassure them all.
“Of course we’ll make it,” he said. “We’re going very slow. Don’t worry. With the Waldens’ car to light the way, we’ll be there soon enough.” But a little doubt nibbled at his mind. Even at this snail’s pace, he could see the Waldens’ vehicle skidding on the icy road. Now and then, he could feel the buggy doing the same and he didn’t want any mishaps to make matters worse. At this pace, the worst that could happen was they’d end up on the side of the road...unless a truck or car came up too fast behind them. That could end in catastrophe and he wondered if he should have insisted the girls ride in the safety of the car.
Everyone in the buggy was incredibly quiet. They each seemed to know that he needed to concentrate on his driving. In his heart, Eli whispered a prayer for their safety.
As they rode in silence, his thoughts began to wander. He wished he had the courage to confide another serious issue to Lizzie.
The day before, he’d received another letter from Tom Caldwell, his former employer in Denver. Tom had sent a new job offer for Eli to become an EMT supervisor. Before he lo
st Shannon, Eli would have loved to make such a career move. When he’d first read the letter, his heart had leaped at the proposal. It would be a wonderful way to use his skills to serve others. But then, he remembered the commitment he’d made to Gott and his familye. He planned to be baptized soon. He loved the Lord and wanted to stay in Riverton. Didn’t he?
If only there was a way for him to work as a paramedic and remain here among his people. But he didn’t see how. To be a paramedic, he’d need to keep his certifications current, which meant taking yearly classes and using modern technology. Surely the elders of his church would never approve of that, especially Jeremiah, who was the minister of their congregation. Eli didn’t even dare ask. Not when he’d been home such a short time. They might think he wasn’t serious about staying. And he was. Yet, he felt torn.
By the time they pulled into the yard of the Beilers’ farm, it was early evening and the snow had stopped. They’d passed two big plows up on the county road and knew the pavement would be cleared by morning.
Eli released a giant whoosh, his breath looking like a puff of smoke on the air. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath. They were safe. He’d kept his promise to Lizzie and the girls.
“We’re home!” Marty crowed with delight.
“Ja, we’re safe,” Lizzie said, her voice a soft whisper.
Mark Walden waved as he slowly turned his car around and headed back toward the county road so he could take his familye home.
“But what if they go off the road again?” Annie asked, watching their red taillights fade into the darkness.
“They won’t. Gott is with all of us tonight and they’re driving nice and slow. They also have a cell phone to call for help. They’ll arrive just fine,” Eli said, hoping his words were true.
“Ja, we must trust in Gott to keep us safe, even when we don’t have a cell phone,” Lizzie said.
Eli wasn’t certain, but he thought he saw her lips curve into a little smile. Her sense of humor made him chuckle.
He pulled up in front of the dark house. “You take the maed inside and I’ll take Ginger to the barn. I want to feed and dry her off gut. Then I’ll head on home.”
Lizzie’s mouth dropped open. “But it’s not safe for you to travel tonight. You should stay here until morning.”
“It wouldn’t be appropriate. I’ll be fine. The snow has stopped. Once I get up to the county road, the plows will have cleared the asphalt all the way to my eldres’ farm. And it would be unseemly for me to stay here tonight when you and the maed are alone.”
She looked away, her gaze suddenly shy. “Ach, I hadn’t thought about that. But you are right.”
Eli nodded, wishing he dared take just a moment to seek her advice. Her compassion over Shannon’s death had touched him deeply. Lizzie had always been so empathetic and kind. So obedient and wise. But he had no illusions. Lizzie would never approve of him asking their leaders to sanction his work as a paramedic. Especially if she knew he was considering accepting another job offer in Denver. Leaving Riverton meant abandoning his faith and familye again, something he hated to do. Because the next time he left, he knew he would never be coming back.
Chapter Ten
A freezing rain the next day, followed by another day of warm sunshine, cleared the snow and ice off the roads. A blanket of white still covered the valley and mountains surrounding them and another storm was on its way. Since they needed the water so badly for their summer irrigation, Lizzie wouldn’t complain. Especially since they had good weather right now, when she needed it most. Standing in her father’s hospital room in town, she glanced out the window and noticed the morning sky was still clear. They had just enough time to get him home. The chill air made her pull her heavy cape tighter around her.
“I don’t know why you let Eli drive you into town. Couldn’t you have come to get me on your own?” Jeremiah grumbled. He sat on the edge of the bed, fully dressed, his casted leg extended in front of him.
“Ne, Daedi. The weather has been too bad and I’m not sure I can lift you alone.” She’d already told him about getting caught in a blizzard the night they’d helped pull the familye’s car back onto the road.
“What about Martin Hostetler? Couldn’t he drive you into town instead of Eli?”
Lizzie clenched her eyes shut at the thought. Tall and slender, with bright red hair and a smattering of freckles, Martin was a nice enough man, but a bit too zealous for her. His outgoing nature and forward manner always unnerved Lizzie. He was too overt and outspoken for her likes. After Eli had left, it had taken a year to convince Martin that she wasn’t interested in courting with him. The last thing she wanted to do was encourage him by asking if he would drive her into town to pick up her father.
“Bishop Yoder specifically charged Eli with looking after the farm and our familye. I’m afraid we have no choice but to accept his help,” she said.
There. That was good. Surely her father wouldn’t argue with the bishop.
“Has Eli...has he been spending quite a bit of time with you while I’ve been in the hospital?” Jeremiah asked.
“Ne, he mostly works outside or in the barn.”
Not to mention her numerous efforts to avoid him.
After the doctor had instructed them on some exercises Jeremiah could do at home to help quicken his rehabilitation, she’d packed her father’s few belongings into a bag. Eli had taken it outside as he went to fetch the horse and buggy. Her two sisters had tagged along with Eli, holding his hands and smiling. Now, Lizzie and her father were just waiting for an orderly to bring a wheelchair so they could wheel her father outside.
“So, he hasn’t spoken to you about going back to the Englisch world with him?” Jeremiah peered at her with a look that said he didn’t want to intrude, but he couldn’t help asking anyway.
She snorted. “Don’t worry, Vadder. Eli and I have no interest in each other anymore. He’s been a tremendous help and looked after the farm, but he’s been nothing but completely appropriate the entire time.”
She didn’t dare tell him about Shannon, Eli’s fiancée—the proof that he’d fully moved past his old feelings for her. Though Eli hadn’t asked her to keep the information private, she got the impression he had confided in her and she didn’t want to betray that trust.
“Ach, what’s taking so long?” Jeremiah looked at the door, a surly frown on his face.
Since her father was normally a gentle, patient man, Lizzie surmised that his weariness with the hospital was the reason for his impatience.
“They’ll be here soon,” she soothed.
Her own composure surprised her. But something had changed inside of her since Eli had told her about Shannon. When she’d reassured him that his fiancée’s death wasn’t his fault, a startling realization had struck her. She must exercise what she preached and hand her own grief and anger over to the Lord. It was what Gott expected from her. Eli had suffered enough without her condemnation too. But her heart still ached with the knowledge that he’d gotten over his love for her, and had been ready to build a life with Shannon. And that hurt most of all.
Thankfully, a young man wearing a blue smock wheeled a chair into the room at that moment.
“All ready to go?” the orderly asked in a pleasant voice. Lizzie could see from his curious gaze that he found their Amish clothing interesting, but he didn’t say anything.
“We’ve been ready for half an hour,” Jeremiah grumbled.
The orderly stepped forward, seeming unruffled by Jeremiah’s bad humor. “Then let’s get you on your way home. Remember not to put any weight on your casted leg.”
Jeremiah nodded, reaching out as the orderly wrapped his arms around him to take the brunt of his weight before hefting him into the seat. An extender bar was lifted into place and Jeremiah’s casted leg rested outstretched on the support.
“All ready?�
�� The orderly smiled at Lizzie.
She nodded and he pushed the chair out of the room and down the long hall. Tugging her black bonnet lower over her forehead, Lizzie followed behind. As they passed Timmy’s room, she glanced inside, finding the bed vacant. Jeremiah had told her the boy had gone home just before she’d arrived. Knowing the child was healthy enough to return to his familye brought a buoyant feeling to Lizzie’s chest.
Outside, the frigid air caught her breath and she took a quick inhale. The horse and buggy were waiting at the bottom of the steps. The orderly wheeled Jeremiah down a side ramp sprinkled with ice melt. Eli hopped out of the buggy and came to assist.
“This young man can get me in just fine.” Jeremiah gave Eli the cold shoulder by turning toward the orderly.
“Of course,” Eli said, gracious as always but looking a bit snubbed by the rebuttal.
While Eli stood on the sidewalk, Lizzie stared at her father in amazement. She knew her father was suspicious of the other man, but what cause did he have to be so rude to Eli? It wasn’t like her father. No, not at all. She sensed that something was bothering him and she had no idea what it was.
The orderly lifted Jeremiah into the buggy, then gripped the handles on the wheelchair and nodded farewell.
“Drive safely,” he called.
Eli waved before reaching to help Lizzie into the back of the buggy with her two sisters. She looked inside and found that little Annie had twined her hand around her father’s arm and beamed with pleasure to know he was finally going home.
As always, Eli took hold of Lizzie’s arm so she wouldn’t stumble on the wet footrest. Normally, she looked away and tried to ignore how his touch made her stomach quiver. But this time, their gazes met. In his eyes, she saw a flash of uncertainty, then it was gone and she thought she must have imagined it. After all, Eli was the strongest, most confident man she knew. Surely her father’s temper hadn’t rattled him.