Anger? Yeah, he was angry, but not for the reason he’d assumed he would be. His pride wanted him to be angry about her having dinner with Marcus Fucking Ewing, of all people. But his common sense wouldn’t allow anger over that particular event to stick. He knew his wife. He believed her when she said nothing happened between her and Marcus.
What infuriated him even more were thoughts of the entire year they’d spent growing further and further apart because of something that could have been solved if Willow had just come to him and told him how she felt. He’d probably gone through a dozen bottles of antacids this past year, trying to assuage the anxiety that had burned a hole in his gut, stressing over the state of his marriage. When all it would have taken was one conversation, something to clue him in.
As angry as it made him, more than anything he was…hurt.
Why had she kept it to herself all this time? Why hadn’t she come to him? She’d been his wife, his lover, his best friend for the past seventeen years. To know that she no longer felt comfortable sharing something so important with him shot a lightning rod of grief straight through Harrison’s heart.
He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, but something had broken between them along the way. Ten years ago, he would have noticed something was off. He would have caught the warning signs that Willow was unhappy. Ten years ago, she would have told him so. But they were both so busy these days that they no longer took the time to talk about such things.
The kids, their extended families, his job, politics, community activism, the state of the world; that’s the kind of things that dominated their conversations—when they could find time to have meaningful conversations. They’d allowed their marriage to succumb to life’s endless intrusions. Harrison could only pray it wasn’t too late to save it.
There was a knock on the door a second before Jonathan poked his head inside.
“Hey,” he said. “I didn’t expect to see you in the office after that long flight yesterday. You sure you’re not too jet lagged to be here?”
Maybe that was the reason he was so discombobulated this morning? Harrison mentally slapped away that thought. Jet lag had nothing to do with this.
“Nah, I’m good,” he said. He motioned for Jonathan to come in. “You here to go over the materials for the arbitration?”
His partner waved that off. “We can go over that tomorrow. It’s not as if you don’t know this stuff inside and out.” He plopped himself in one of the high-backed chairs that faced Harrison’s desk. “Tell me about Italy. I haven’t been back there since I tried out for the European League.”
Harrison’s head snapped back. “I didn’t know you tried out for the European League. Was this after you left the NBA?”
He nodded. “I worked out for the teams in Bologna and Madrid,” Jonathan said with a shrug. “I decided against it because I knew I’d miss home too much. But enough about that. How was Italy?”
“Italy was good.”
“Just good?”
“Of course the food was amazing. And the history was…well…what can you say about a place with buildings dating back thousands of years? And the—” Harrison stopped at the incredulous look on Jonathan’s face. “What?”
“I don’t want to hear about old buildings. I want to know how things are between you and Willow. Did you two work things out?”
He drew in a long, labored breath, praying his voice didn’t give away the anguish behind his next words. “A week in Italy isn’t going to fix everything between me and Willow.”
Jonathan grimaced. “Shit,” he cursed. “I guess that means you slept here last night, huh?” One brow arched. “You want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Are you sure, man?”
Harrison nodded. “Don’t worry about me. I’m good.”
“No, you’re not good. You haven’t been good for a while.” He sat back in his chair and settled his ankle on the opposite knee. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a few minutes to offer a bit of unsolicited advice.”
“And if I do mind?” Harrison asked.
“I’m going to offer it anyway,” Jonathan said with a grin. But then he sobered, his expression earnest. “Take it from someone with enough regrets to fill this entire house. There is nothing worth losing the woman you love over, Harrison. Nothing.”
The intense remorse in the other man’s eyes revealed more than Jonathan probably meant to. For the second time in as many weeks, the curtain behind his casual, carefree mien lifted, giving way to the unhappiness his law partner tried so hard to keep hidden from the world.
“I’m not looking to lose my wife,” Harrison said. And he meant that. Down to his very last bone. His pain was still raw, but he wasn’t about to let this ruin his marriage.
Jonathan held his hands up, his easygoing grin returning. “I just thought it was something you needed to hear. Not that I have a wife—or want one—but I recognize the kind of woman who makes a good wife. You have that in Willow.”
Harrison thought back to that night a few weeks ago, when he and Jonathan had indulged in a bit too much of that high-priced bourbon. The night that should have been the man’s third-year anniversary to the woman who’d practically left him standing at the altar. Over the years Jonathan had gallivanted around New Orleans with an endless parade of women, each more beautiful than the last. But if he were a betting man, Harrison would wager his last penny that not a single one of them had made him happy. Those smiles his law partner so frequently displayed rarely reached his eyes.
He didn’t want to become another Jonathan. He didn’t want to be the kind of man who only pretended to be happy. Someone who flitted from one woman to another, trying to fill a void left empty by the woman he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with.
He’d found the woman he was destined to spend the rest of his life with twenty years ago. Sitting underneath the shady branches of an oak tree on the quad at Xavier University, he’d spotted that beautiful face and his life had changed forever.
Willow was his life. There was no living without her.
Suddenly, an unrelenting urge to go to his wife gripped him and refused to let go. Harrison pushed his chair back and pocketed his cell phone.
“I have something I need to do,” he said.
The phone he’d just slipped into his pocket trilled with an incoming text message. He took it out and cursed. It was from Willow.
“What’s wrong?” Jonathan asked, rising from his chair. Harrison did the same.
“It’s about Lily.” He grabbed his keys from the drawer and rounded the desk.
“Everything okay? She’s not hurt, is she?”
“No. It’s about whether or not she’ll be allowed to stay at her high school.” Jonathan frowned in confusion and Harrison realized he hadn’t mentioned his daughter’s ode to Dwayne Johnson back when he was still known as professional wrestler, The Rock. “Lily had a fight at school a couple of weeks ago. I’ll fill you in on it later, but I need to get down there ASAP.”
“Go,” Jonathan said, ushering him out of his office. “Everything’s under control here. If Michael Delmonico shows up I’ll give him a Popsicle and tell him to sit in the corner and wait for you.”
Harrison chuckled. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“What did I just say? Don’t worry about what’s going on here. Go and take care of your family.”
“Thanks, man.” Harrison pulled him in for a one-arm hug before heading out to his car. He made it to the school in under twenty minutes, courtesy of the lucky string of green lights he managed to catch. He pulled into the parking spot directly across from Willow’s SUV. When he arrived at Dr. Saul’s office, he was hit with a wave of deja vu. Everyone sat in the same chairs they’d sat in when he came to this office a few weeks ago.
“Come in.” Dr. Saul gestured for him to enter. “Thank you for coming in on short notice. I hate that we all have to meet once again under these circumstances, but I do
appreciate you both taking the time out of your day to be here.”
“It’s not a problem,” Harrison said. “I understand how important this is. We all do.” He looked to Willow for agreement. She regarded him with a mixture of warm affection and cautious uncertainty in her eyes. After a moment she snapped to attention, as if remembering why they were here.
“Yes. Yes, of course. Education is a top priority in our household.” She looked to Lily, who sat in a chair against the wall. “Right, Liliana?”
His daughter nodded. Harrison feared she would throw up any second now. He’d never seen her light brown skin looking so pale.
Dr. Saul shuffled some papers on her desk, but then set them down and folded her hands on top of them.
“As you all know, the disciplinary board finished up their review yesterday. A decision was made to officially expel Liliana from St. Katherine’s. I’m sorry.”
Lily gasped, then burst into tears.
Willow rushed over to her. Perching on the arm of the chair, she wrapped Lily up in a hug as she addressed the principal. “We understand,” she said. “We knew this was a possibility.” She smoothed a gentle hand over Lily’s hair. “It’s okay, baby,” she crooned in a soothing voice.
The disappointment he felt on Lily’s behalf was overshadowed by the irrepressible love he felt for his wife right now as she comforted their daughter. Harrison had no doubt she would make a kickass scientist one day, but nothing could ever match her skills as a mother.
“Here is something for you to keep in mind,” Dr. Saul continued. “Privacy laws dictate that student records remain strictly confidential, including disciplinary hearings. Therefore, if you are able to get Liliana into one of the other schools in this area, her record here at St. Katherine’s will not be shared.”
“Wait.” Harrison leaned forward. “So you’re saying we don’t have to tell them why she was expelled?”
“You don’t have to mention the expulsion at all. As far as any other school should be concerned, you wanted to give Liliana a new environment in which to learn.” Dr. Saul smiled. “Good luck. Despite how it ended, it has been a joy having you Holmeses as a part of the family here at St. Katherine’s.”
When he’d walked through these doors a half hour ago, Harrison never imagined he’d be filled with such hope when he exited them. The situation wasn’t ideal. Just thinking about the hassle and cost associated with getting Lily into a good school made him want to down a shot of that fine bourbon back at the office, but there was reason to feel optimistic.
Now if he could carry this optimism into the next important meeting he needed to have today, he would be set.
He trailed behind Lily and Willow as they made it to the SUV. After kissing Lily on the cheek and assuring her that everything would be okay, Harrison rounded the vehicle. He tapped on the driver’s side window and waited for Willow to lower it.
“Can I come over?” he asked.
Her brows arched. “Tonight?”
“No.” Harrison shook his head. “Right now. I don’t want to wait to talk about this. About us. We need to put this to rest, Wills.”
Cautious hope filled her eyes. “Okay,” she said. “Follow me home?”
“I’m right behind you.”
Harrison took off for his car and followed the black SUV out of the parking lot.
It was time they fixed their broken marriage, and he wouldn’t be satisfied until they mended every single crack.
Willow made the left onto Argonne Boulevard, her heartbeat escalating with every inch that brought her closer to their house. She’d dropped Lily off at her friend Amina’s, who’d suffered a broken wrist in a volleyball tournament while she and Harrison were in Italy, and had stayed home from school today.
The parenting experts out there would probably frown upon her choice to allow Lily to spend the rest of the day hanging out with her best friend after just learning that she’d been expelled from her high school, but Willow saw no reason to punish her further. There was nothing they could do about the decision of the disciplinary board at St. Katherine’s. Besides, she didn’t want her daughter to bear witness to the conversation set to take place at home.
The significance of it settled on her chest, a crushing weight that refused to ease up. What transpired over this next hour would determine what happened with her marriage, with the rest of her life. Willow gripped the steering wheel and tried to ignore the anxiety twisting in her belly.
She turned into the driveway and found Harrison’s Mercedes parked in its usual spot. Her breath caught as a wave of bittersweet nostalgia washed over her. Her throat ached with the knot of emotion pressing against it, the result of a powerful sense of longing that suddenly gripped her. In that moment, Willow knew what she had to do.
She had to convince her husband to come home.
She had to convince him to come home because she now recognized that these last few weeks without him had been some of the most miserable of her life. She recognized that this break they’d taken—this foolish decision to try living apart—had done nothing but show her just how much he belonged in that house with her and the kids. Willow didn’t care what it took. She was willing to walk through fire to make her marriage work.
But first she had to walk through that door.
Taking a deep breath, she climbed out of the SUV and made her way up the stone pavers. She was still several yards away when the front door opened and Harrison stepped out onto the landing.
“Where’s Lily?” he asked, looking toward the SUV.
“I dropped her off at Amina’s,” Willow said as she climbed the stairs. She explained about Amina being home from school, and how Lily could use the time with her best friend after the rough day she’d had.
“Was Lily doing okay?” Harrison asked.
Willow nodded. “She’s upset, but more with herself for ever getting into that fight.”
They were stalling. Willow was tempted to go along with it, but it would only temporarily delay the inevitable. The time for playing games was over.
She motioned for Harrison to follow her inside. They moved past the foyer and into the living room. Willow set her keys and purse on the tall console table that butted against the wall, and then turned to him.
Without preamble, she said, “I want you to come home.”
Several significant moments ticked by with nothing but the sound of water draining from the dishwasher she’d set before leaving for St. Katherine’s. An angsty charge filled the air, fraught with foreboding and another unnerving, troubling quality she couldn’t quite describe.
The longer he wordlessly stood there, the more Willow’s trepidation grew.
“I…uh…I know it isn’t that simple,” she stuttered. “But I figured I’d start there and we can work our way through figuring out how to make it happen.” When he still didn’t speak, she held her hands out and pleaded. “Goodness, Harrison, say something.”
His head jerked back as if startled, bewilderment emanating from his shocked gaze.
“I’m—” he began, but then he stopped. He kneaded his brows as he shook his head. “I’m trying to figure out what to say, Wills. I mean…I thought I would be the one saying those words, not the other way around.”
Her knees buckled, relief surging through her. Willow slumped against the wall as the pent up tension rushed from her limbs. She started for him, but her steps faltered when Harrison held a hand up and took a couple of steps back.
“Hold on, Wills. We still have a lot to talk about.”
His words stopped her cold. “Okay,” she said. She fidgeted, not knowing what to do with her hands. “Okay, yes. Yes, we do.”
Harrison reached for her, taking her by the wrist and tugging her toward the sofa. He sat on the arm of the loveseat and pulled her into the space between his spread out knees.
“The same way that week in Italy wasn’t the solution to our problems, that’s the same way us agreeing that I should move back home isn’t the ans
wer either. Before I drive back to the office and pack up my bags—” He stopped and dropped his head back, releasing a gush of relieved breath. “Thank God I get to do that soon. I never want to see that damn futon again.”
Willow hiccuped through a tearful laugh. “I’m sorry about that,” she said.
He shook his head. “The bed isn’t important. What’s important is determining how we got here in the first place so that we never, ever find ourselves in this position again.” He ran his hands up and down her arms before settling them at her waist. “I know how much it drives you crazy when I come up with my lists and strategies, but I think this is one time it would benefit us to use them. We have to figure out the best way to proceed in this matter.”
Willow’s mouth tipped up in a smile. “You’re laying the lawyer speak on me.”
The warmth of his throaty laugh washed over her like a soothing balm. “I’ll try to be more conscious of it.”
“No. I miss it,” she admitted.
Tender remorse stole across his face. A pregnant moment passed before he spoke again, his voice hushed and filled with meaning. “What happened, Wills?” he asked. “Talk to me.”
She lifted her shoulders in a pensive shrug. “It’s like I said yesterday, that dinner earlier this year made me take stock of my life, and I—”
“No, I know what you said yesterday. I understand that part, and it’s something we’ll need to discuss. In fact, it’s the next thing on my mental list.” One corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. “What I can’t figure out is how we got to the point where I didn’t learn about how you felt until after I moved out of the house? Why did it take something that drastic, Willow?”
She bit the inside of her cheek as she stared into his eyes, her heart welling with emotion.
“I don’t know,” Willow honestly confessed. “I have no idea what we thought would be accomplished by you moving out, but whatever it was failed miserably. The only thing your leaving brought into this house was heartache, Harrison. You never should have moved out.”
“I’ve felt that way from the first day I left,” he said.
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