“What is she doing here?” Ava stared in disbelief at this woman, a stranger to her and also her mother. She had dyed most of the red out of her hair and now it was a dull brown. Her laugh lines were more visible now, which seemed strange since she couldn’t even remember what her mother’s laughter sounded like. She wasn’t even sure her mother laughed at all.
She turned just as Ava shut the door behind her. “Ava!” she said crossing the room throwing her arms around her. “You have gotten so beautiful.”
“She’s always been beautiful,” Aunt Avalene corrected from across the room.
“I know that,” Joyce remarked turning to look at Aunt Avalene.
“What are you doing here mother?” Ava took a step back feeling a little claustrophobic because of the strong smell of her mother’s perfume. It was too sweet and thick, something expensive.
“What do you mean?” Joyce smiled, “I just wanted to see you. It’s been so long. You know, I stay so busy.”
Memories from Ava’s childhood flashed through her mind; the sound of her mother’s favorite soap opera playing on the television, the bed in her pink and white room. The place behind the pillow where she wrote the word “freak” in red crayon after a boy at school caught her making her crayon roll back and forth across the floor without touching it when she was in Kindergarten. Arguments and slamming doors at home and the shame she felt when she heard her name whispered by one teacher to another. The time spent waiting for hours sitting on Aunt Avalene’s front porch on the days her mother was supposed to come for a visit.
“Yeah, it’s been like seven years Mother.”
“Did you get my letters?”
”How could she act like this was no big deal? Seven years of letters all fit in a shoe box hid in the top of her closet.” “Yeah, thanks for that,” Ava turned walking around her.
“Wait, Ava!” Joyce made her voice low and sweet, “I just wanted to see how you were doing—can we talk outside or something?”
Ava turned around feeling the anger rise as she thought of the pain her mother had caused her. She realized how hard she was clamping her back teeth together, “What’s there to talk about? Did you run out of paper or something?”
“I want you to meet someone.”
Ava paused, her hand on the bottom rail of the staircase, “Who? Another husband? I already know you’re getting a divorce.” She gave her mother an ice cold look, “Thanks again for those letters.” She turned away and started up the staircase again.
“We’re not getting a divorce, we worked it all out. I want you to meet your little brother and sister.”
Ava stopped. Frozen, shocked; tears welling in her eyes.
“I wanted to tell you about them,” Joyce said in a meek voice.
Ava turned stomping back towards her mother, “Oh, that’s just wonderful; I guess you couldn’t mention them in your letters? You know I’m surprised you came here at all. I can’t imagine how Tom and his mother must feel about you exposing your two new children to someone as strange as me.”
“Mother Beatrice is dead and when did you start calling him Tom? You’ve always called him dad.”
“Yeah when I was five I did and until I found out he wasn’t my real dad when I was seven. Great letter again, Mother. What do you really want?”
“Nothing, I miss you. Tom misses you too Ava, he has always thought of you as his daughter.”
“Well, that’s sweet and all, but I’m not his daughter and I’ve got homework to do.” Ava started up the steps again.
She heard her mother question Aunt Avalene, “Why have you made her hate us so much?”
“I haven’t done anything of the sort,” Aunt Avalene said. “She has a right to hate you if she wants.”
Their voices were muted as Ava made it to the top of the stairs. She heard the childlike laughter coming from one of the spare rooms. She inched closer to the door listening as the children in the room laughed and played together. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open. She gripped the bronze door knob pulling the door shut behind her.
Two dark-haired children with brown eyes stared back at her; a boy about six and a girl about four. They both looked like Tom. The little boy turned from the two blocks he was crashing together to look up at Ava, “Who are you?” he said far too loudly.
“I’m…Ava.”
“Well,” he said “I’m Daniel. Do you have any more toys besides these? These are old.”
“No,” she suddenly felt her throat tightening, vomit at the back of her throat and she pulled the door open and closed it before the boy could say anything else. Her mother stood right behind her.
“You didn’t tell them who you really are did you? All that crazy superstition...”
“No mother, I didn’t tell them... Are you going to send them to live here too? Are they showing signs of wickedness or having strange abilities?”
No, of course not,” she forced a fragile smile, “That’s ridiculous. There is no such thing.”
“No such thing as wickedness? Or magic?” Ava stepped closer to her.
“There is wickedness. That’s why you were sent to live here. There is no such thing as magic. I worried that your Aunt would plant her crazy superstitions in your mind and I see that she has. Have you decided what you’re going to do with your inheritance? Tom has agreed to still let you have it. Please tell me you’re at least going to college. You don’t want to wind up like Avalene. Pastor John says people can create lies and live in them so long that they believe them.”
Ava shook her head, walking past her mother feeling sick to her stomach. “You should know all about that. Tell Tom I don’t want his money and why wouldn’t I want to wind up like Aunt Avalene…? She is the only person in this world who has ever cared about me.”
“Pastor John says…”
“I don’t care what he says!”
Ava remembered Pastor John’s raspy voice perfectly. The smell of his old spice cologne and the fear in his eyes as Ava’s mother cried to him in the living room. She remembered staring at the flowered wall paper in the living room so that she didn’t have to see that fear. He came over once a week for a month reading bible verses to Ava and whispering to her mother. That look of fear in his eyes grew each time he came over and her mother told him some of the things Ava could do.
He was there that last day too. He stood with her mother as she put Ava’s bag into the car. She was crying, but nodding her head agreeing with him. Ava wasn’t sure why they were suddenly going to see her Great Aunt in Florida. She had no idea she would never come home again until her mother pulled out of Aunt Avalene’s driveway without her. She still didn’t believe it until months had passed and she was still there.
Her mother lightly touched her shoulder, “I knew I couldn’t handle a child like you. I’ve been talking with Tom about the possibility of you moving back home now that you’re older. We want to make sure you make the right decisions about your future. He can help you pay for college and a better car.”
She didn’t want any part of their money. She knew the reason she was sent here. Aunt Avalene told her. It wasn’t because her mother was scared of her. She knew the family secret; part of it anyway. She knew the stories of witches and their ancestors who were persecuted in Salem. They didn’t send her away because of fear. It wasn’t even Pastor John. It was money.
Tom’s mother, Beatrice, had tons of it. Mother Beatrice and Tom had no idea that Ava wasn’t his until she was around five. The red hair stood out in family portraits. None of Toms features appeared in her face. When they found out the truth, everyone started fighting; her mother, Tom, and his mother Beatrice. They apparently found a way to work it all out after Ava was sent away.
She stared at her mother seeing that fear in her eyes again. “I don’t need anything from you,” she felt her chest tighten, “You didn’t want me then and I don’t need you now. I don’t know why you’re here, but if you’re looking for forgiveness, you won’t get it from me
.” It took everything she had not to cry, there was no way she would ever let her see a single tear.
Her mother paused taking a breath, “That was all so long ago, you should learn forgiveness Ava. Avalene has made you believe in nonsense and fairy tales I was wrong sending you here. I know that now. She has brainwashed you.”
Ava felt her temper burn. She turned and stepped closer to her mother; the sight of her suddenly made her head hurt, never mind the fact that she had a brother and sister she’d never met just behind the door. “It does exist mother and that’s why you don’t want me and why you’re scared of me. Oh…and for the money of course. Tell me mother, what was I worth? How much did the old woman leave you with?”
“Don’t be ridiculous Ava…It wasn’t the money. Your crazy aunt told you that didn’t she?” Joyce narrowed her eyes “And how dare you think I am scared of you. You are a child with some problems. Whatever she has told you is a lie. Magic only exists in fairy tales, and you are far too old to believe in fairy tales. ”
“Really?!?” Ava shrieked, her anger causing a vase to fall off the table behind her mother. It crashed to the floor and tiny shards of glass danced across their feet and spread out all around them.
Her mother gasped, “Oh my god!” her eyes widened, “You’re wicked, a wicked child!” She moved in front of the door, placing herself protectively between it and Ava, “I shouldn’t have come here.” She looked away, like her eyes would burn if she looked at Ava.
“I won’t hurt them, and you’re right…you shouldn’t have come here. It’s too late for you to try to be my mother now,” Ava turned looking at her mother, watching her closely as she looked anywhere but at her. Her mother wouldn’t look back at her.
Ava walked away; fighting the small girl inside her who had ached for her mother to come back and get her for so long. She jerked her bedroom door open and slammed it behind her without touching it. She fell back on the bed and closed her eyes. She possibly hated her mother more now, not just because of the lies or abandonment. She hated her because she punished her for a gift she had never asked for, for something she couldn’t help. She punished her for it because she was too stupid and brainwashed herself to understand it. She turned over and lay staring out the window. Rain sprinkled the glass and she thought back to that day.
The last day…
She liked Aunt Avalene right away, she smelled like honey and roses. There was sadness in her eyes when she opened the door though. Ava was surprised by how much she looked like her. Aunt Avalene took her upstairs and showed her the bedroom. There were old toys in the room and she was fascinated by the old music box by the window; the ballerina inside danced in tiny circles.
The big bedroom smelled like wild flowers. She could hear her mother and Aunt Avalene arguing downstairs. She couldn’t make out the words, but she heard the front door slam. She ran to the window just in time to see her mother back out of the driveway. She screamed for her and the tears began to fall. The music box slipped from her hand and broke on the floor. The music continued to play as she stared out of the foggy window in disbelief. The memory of that day when she came to live with Aunt Avalene had surged through her mind more times than she could count.
The sound of her mother and the two children walking down the stairs echoed through the thin walls. The girl was throwing a tantrum about leaving the toys. Ava wrapped her arms around her pillow, squeezing tight and trying to calm herself down. For years she’d tried to control her gift. She’d wanted to be normal, to be accepted. She always wondered how different her life would be if her mother had never sent her away, but now she couldn’t imagine living with her mother. She began to cry and didn’t know why really, everything was just sort of coming to the surface for the first time in a long time.
Her mother had visited her from time to time at first, but the last time was seven years ago. She used to cry and beg her mother to take her with her. Now she couldn’t imagine why she had ever wanted to please her. She was embarrassed that she had ever shown her any kind of affection. She turned over, blinking more tears from her eyes.
Aunt Avalene approached the bed cautiously. Ava tried to hold back her tears as she felt the bed sag as Aunt Avalene sat softly on its edge. As she stroked Ava’s long red hair, she paused, noticing the way Ava’s hair lay over the white sheets like a scatter of rose petals. “You’re nothing like her you know.”
“I know,” Ava whispered still looking away.
“The day she brought you to me was the best day of my life. She doesn’t deserve your tears.”
“I know,” Ava said bitterly. She could actually taste the hard copper taste of hate on her tongue.
“Listen Shug, why don’t you come out back with me to check on the bees? It will take your mind off of everything. I promised Ms. Williams a couple jars of honey anyway.”
Ava sat up slowly, digging for strength. She used the anger to push back her pain. She knew the bees wouldn’t make her feel any better, but it would make Aunt Avalene feel better. She washed her face in cold water and then walked down the stairs with Aunt Avalene.
Aunt Avalene had never used a beekeepers net or any of that. The funny thing was she had never been stung, not once. Ava remembered being scared of the bees when she was little. She still could hear Aunt Avalene's soothing voice, “Calm yourself and they won’t hurt you. They know we’re here to help them. They feel your magic, you’re completely safe.”
Ava carried two jars and noticed the afternoon sun slipping behind the trees. The view from Aunt Avalene's house is breathtaking. The sand on the other side of the river is as white as snow. It reminds Ava of a big pile of sugar surrounded by tea colored water. The sounds of the water moving along the banks, and the bees buzzing around their white box are like a song, a song that Aunt Avalene calls the “Melody of Earth.” Ava smiled at her as she carefully lifted the lid from a box. The bees hummed around them bringing smiles to both of their faces.
“Open the jar lid,” Aunt Avalene said, sliding her hand inside the box. She doesn’t use the smoke that a lot of beekeepers use to make the bees sleepy. She never needs anything like that. She simply hums.
Ava held the jar out as Aunt Avalene carefully pulled a fresh honey comb out. It was dripping with golden honey. She placed the honey comb inside the jar and smiled as the sweet smell laced through the summer air. Ava waited for the last few bees that clung to the honeycomb to let go and fly out of the jar before she placed the lid back on.
“Beautiful perfection,” Aunt Avalene said with a smile.
Ava nodded. Aunt Avalene was right, she did feel better. She felt beautiful and happy in this small moment.
Just before dark Ava ran down to Brea’s house. She had to get the movie she had let her borrow so she could return it and knowing Brea and how messy her room was, that might take a while.
“It’s got to be here somewhere…,” Brea mumbled as she moved a pile of clothes off of her dresser.
“You know if you organized this room it wouldn’t be so hard to find something,” Ava said with a laugh as they moved things off the bed so they could check under the covers.
“Well, if I were a witch I could just wiggle my nose or something.” She moved things from one pile to another on the floor. “You don’t know a spell for finding something…or maybe know a spell that will magically cause your room to be cleaned, do you?”
“No I don’t know any spells and I don’t think I could wish it to appear.”
Brea looked back to her, “Why don’t you just try?”
“No,” Ava let out an exasperated sigh. “Nothing’s changed. I don’t want to use my power. It seems like every time I use it, I just wind up in more crap.”
“You’re such a worry wart.”
“Just keep looking,” Ava pulled out the dresser doors.
“I found it!” Brea said.
“Good,” Ava turned.
“I’ve been looking for this shirt forever!” Brea held it up.
“Ugh,�
�� Ava groaned. “I thought you found the movie.”
“No. Not yet.” She got down on the floor to look under the dresser. “Wait! Here it is,” she held the DVD up.
“Finally! I was beginning to wonder if it was lost forever!” Ava took the DVD, “I’ve only got twenty minutes to return it before the movie store closes.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Brea asked smelling the shirt then throwing it down, “Gross!”
Ava laughed, “Yeah, if you want.”
“Okay, let me just tell my mom.” She grabbed her hair scrunchie and pulled the bedroom door open leading the way into the living room.
They got in the car and rushed towards town. The movie store was just about to close when they got there. Brea ran the movie in and Ava waited in the car. She looked in the mirror and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and… saw him! There in the mirror.
He was sitting on his bike across the parking lot. She could almost make out the tattoo on his neck and he still wore the sunglasses. She turned looking over her shoulder, “What the…?,” He wasn’t there, just the empty parking lot! She looked back to the mirror and he was gone from there now too.
Brea pulled the car door open, “We still had five more minutes! I don’t know what you were so worried about.” She stopped, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Ava said unclenching her fist and looking over her shoulder one more time. “I’m fine.”
“Okay then! You look like you saw a ghost or something.”
“Let’s go with the… or something?” Ava shook her head and started the car.
“What was it? Why do you look so weird?”
“I just,” Ava wiped at her eyes, wondering if she had imagined the whole thing. “Nothing, it was probably just my imagination, I’m fine, promise.”
Brea let it go and started going on and on about all the latest gossip she had heard at school. Top of her list was Troy and Jenna’s break up. The newest headline was that Jenna cheated on him with Eric Soyer; another football player who happened to score the winning touchdown at last week’s game.
Elementris, Exposure, Eruption Box set: The Vangeretta Curse Series Page 4