by Kitty Parker
But him going away certainly kept him from bonding with their son.
"You know of something I can get him?" Jimmy asks.
"He also really wants a train set."
"Yeah," Jimmy immediately agrees. "I can get that for him."
Daisy smiles. "Thanks, Jimmy."
"So, how do you want to do Christmas?" He then asks.
"I'm not sure," Daisy then admits. She has thought of this, of course. She is always thinking of it. Christmas is the only holiday she and Jimmy attempt to share because every other holiday, Jimmy doesn't really care. "Maybe you can have him Christmas Eve and I can have him Christmas Day? I'll be at my parents' and you can drive him to the farm in the morning. Will that work?"
She feels nervous but she's not sure why. When it comes to Matty, she has all of the power over Jimmy and she knows that but there's always a tiny part of herself that's worried that maybe, this is the time that Jimmy will start to challenge her; tell her he wants Matty more. And if he does say that, she can't argue with him and she knows she won't. No matter what has happened between them or how little he has been involved up to this point, it doesn't change the fact that Jimmy is Matty's dad and she can't deny him his son.
But she never knows why she worries. It never happens and probably never will.
The waitress comes to their table and they pause to order themselves lunch. Jimmy works in a real estate office, working towards getting his license, and Daisy knows he only has a short lunch break. She orders the chicken and dumpling soup because she woke up that morning cold and she feels as if she hasn't been able to warm up all day. She has already put a call into the building's maintenance man because she's pretty sure her radiator isn't working properly and she doesn't want Matty to get cold, too.
"I've been thinking that maybe you can have him this year on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day," Jimmy says once the waitress has left them alone once more.
Daisy stares at him. "What?" She says after a moment, her brow furrowing.
"Alicia wants to go to her mom's house this year and we know Matty's not that comfortable with me where he would be fine being around some other family he doesn't even know," Jimmy tries to explain.
Daisy is frowning now. "He's never going to get comfortable with you if you don't spend time with him," she tells him.
Jimmy actually looks guilty at that. He nods slightly. "Yeah… but he doesn't want to spend Christmas with me and my wife. He'd rather be at the farm with you and your folks."
Daisy bites her tongue. His wife is the one who doesn't want to spend Christmas with Jimmy's son and she doesn't care what she – or Jimmy – pretends. Jimmy does have a son.
But she almost sighs because this is how it is. She is a single parent and there's no way around that. Jimmy helps as much as he can – but when it is convenient to him and his wife. She supposes she can yell at him; force Jimmy to spend time with Matty but she doesn't want to do that. She wants Jimmy to want to spend time with their son.
"I'll take him sometime in January," Jimmy offers as if promising her.
Daisy doesn't say anything. She suppresses another sigh and their food arrives and she busies herself with her soup.
…
Daisy and Matty spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at the Greene family farm. Her older sister, Maybelle, of course, is pissed that Jimmy didn't want his son for at least one day of the holiday but Maybelle seems always pissed at Jimmy for one thing or another.
They bake sugar cookies and decorate them as snowmen and Christmas trees and they then go to church for Christmas Eve service. Afterwards, they go back home and Matty leaves a plate of a freshly baked sugar cookie for Santa on the coffee table and Daisy pours a glass of milk. She then takes him by the hand and he says good night to grandma Annette and grandpa Johnathan, Aunt Maybelle and Uncle Nathaniel and Uncle Shawn.
Upstairs in what used to be her bedroom when she still lived here, and with the twin bed where Matty sleeps against the wall, Daisy helps him get ready for bed though he's long been in that stage where he wants to do everything himself.
When he finally crawls into bed, Daisy smiles and pulls the covers up to his chin and sits down on the edge of the bed. And she sings to him the song she sings to him every Christmas Eve – ever since she was a baby and she was building little traditions of theirs.
"O come, O come, Emmanuel.
And ransom captive Israel.
That mourns in lonely exile here,
Until the Son of God appear.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel.
Shall come to thee, O Israel."
As her voice fades, Matty smiles up at her and she smiles at him, reaching a hand out and brushing some of his blonde hair from his forehead.
"You think you'll be able to get some sleep tonight?" Daisy asks.
"Yep!" He exclaims with wide-awake eagerness and she laughs softly.
"Well, go to sleep now and when you wake up tomorrow, it will be Christmas," she smiles.
"Can we take some cookies to Jack?" Matty asks suddenly.
Daisy can't help but look at her son with slightly widened eyes. She had been able to go the entire day without thinking about the man who lives across the hall from her but now, with one mention from her son, he's smack right on the forefront again. She still hasn't figured out why she's been thinking of him so much lately. It's not possible that she can miss him. She has lost count of how many times she tells herself this; reminds herself of this.
Daisy remembers herself and she gives Matty a small smile. "We can definitely bring him some cookies," she says and Matty smiles at that.
She wonders if she should be worried that her son seems to like Jack so much already. She wonders if she has made some huge mistake in letting this man so easily in their lives when he has absolutely no obligation to them and can leave at any time. And isn't that what he's done? It's been days and she hasn't seen him and it shouldn't matter.
Daisy leans down and kisses Matty's forehead. "Go to sleep, little one. I love you much," she smiles at him.
"Love you much," Matty replies and Daisy smiles as she always does when he says that.
She kisses his forehead one more time and then stands up, making sure the covers are snug over him. He dutifully rolls onto his side and closes his eyes and Daisy smiles as she leaves the room, turning the lights off and leaving the door open a crack.
Back downstairs, Shawn is working on the Little Tikes Cozy Truck. He has taken it out of the box and is trying to put on the wheels, cursing quietly to himself so their parents won't be able to overhear. Johnathan and Annette are setting the presents out and Maybelle is in the kitchen, placing the ham they are having for their Christmas meal from the freezer to the sink, and Nathaniel is helping himself to the cookie and glass of milk.
Johnathan lifts his head when he hears Daisy come into the front room. "He asleep?" He asks softly so not to make too much noise to carry upstairs.
"Trying to be," Daisy smiles. "Nathaniel, can you help me with the train set?" She asks her brother-in-law and Nathaniel stands up, nodding, his mouth full of cookie.
"Jimmy didn't even put the train set together?" Maybelle asks, coming out of the kitchen and overhearing, a frown already on her face.
"There's nothing to put together. Just the table it's set on," Daisy says and she always tries to get Maybelle to stop before she can even start.
Maybelle has never liked Jimmy – even before he got Daisy pregnant.
"And let me guess. You told him to get Matty a train set," Maybelle can't be stopped though.
"Maybelle," Johnathan intervenes. "It's Christmas and there are things far more important in our lives than Jimmy Campbell."
Maybelle huffs but doesn't say anything else and Daisy gives her father a grateful smile.
…
Daisy is clearly an idiot. And no, not because she got pregnant when she was seventeen because it was her first time and thought she couldn't get pregnant – though she won't be winning
any award for that.
No, she's an idiot this time because she insisted to her brother and rest of the family that she didn't need any help getting all of these presents home when they had offered.
The apartment building they live in is two floors – four apartments on each floor. And no elevator. Just the stairs. And Daisy stands at the bottom of those stairs, staring up as if she's at the bottom of Everest, about to attempt her ascent. She can do this. It's just a few presents – fairly large and awkward presents but that's neither here nor there. She gave birth when she was eighteen, pushing out an eight pound baby from between her legs. She's done so many hard things since then, too, and this should all just be a walk in the park in comparison to everything else in her life.
Matty is already halfway up the stairs, the bag she had given him that she knew he could handle in his arms, and she takes a deep breath, her hands tightening around the plastic truck that Matty spent all day yesterday riding around in – hardwood floors be damned, Annette had said, ignoring the look her husband had given her for swearing.
"You got it?" A gruff familiar voice asks from behind her just as she takes the first step.
She instantly turns around though she knows exactly who it is. She supposes she just wants to see his face. And the second she sees him standing there, looking at her, she feels her heart give the slightest thump in her chest and she wonders when she developed a crush on her neighbor. Because that's what this is. She's had crushes before and she isn't the type to pretend that it doesn't exist once she has one. So she isn't going to deny this one that she has on Jack. She feels silly and stupid for having it but she doesn't deny its existence.
"I think so-" she begins to say but even before she can finish the sentence, Jack is taking the plastic vehicle from her hands and easily carrying it up the stairs.
"Jack! Did you see what I go for Christmas?" Matty exclaims excitedly upon seeing the man coming up the stairs towards him and Daisy hears Jack respond though she can't differentiate his words to her son.
She gathers the bags at her feet and follows up the stairs to where Jack and Matty are already standing and waiting outside her apartment door. She is quick to unlock the door and Matty scampers in. Jack doesn't however. He sets the truck down and pushes it across the threshold without actually stepping in. Daisy drops the bags in the small hallway inside the door before looking up at him. He is wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt underneath a leather jacket and a leather vest with white angel wings stitched on the back. It's not the first time she's seen him wear that vest. He's wearing a backwards baseball cap and his too-long dark hair is hanging out from underneath it.
A man is not supposed to look that good while wearing a baseball cap.
"Thank you so much," she says and her voice sounds breathless and she scolds herself for not having a better grip on herself.
"You got anythin' else you need help carryin'?" He asks.
Daisy can't figure him out. He's been avoiding her for days. She knows he has. And now, he's here and talking with her again and she wants to question him but can't find the right words to even form the question.
She just nods to him and turns her head back to the apartment. "Matty, I'm going back down to the car! Stay in here!"
"Okay, mama!" He calls back from his bedroom and following with the sound of his giggle and Daisy steps away from the door, closing it behind her.
She notices the crossbow on his back as they walk down the stairs together. And just like the night of Rosita's birthday party, her knuckles brush against his and not for the first time, she finds herself feeling like any other girl around their crush. Her heart is thumping and her stomach is flipping and she wishes they stairs went down forever.
"Did you have a good Christmas?" She asks and immediately wishes she didn't because his brother still isn't back and he probably missed having him around for the holiday.
"Was a'right," he shrugs as they step outside and walk towards her car. "Went huntin'."
Daisy wonders if he spent the entire holiday out in the woods but she doesn't ask. Just because she can't imagine herself doing such a thing doesn't mean that it can't be done. She doesn't know nearly enough about Jack – hardly anything at all – but she knows that he seems to like being by himself most – if not all – of the time.
She opens the back door and then begins to pull out the table for the train set. Jack moves in and pulls it out the rest of the way, taking it from her hands, carrying it much easier than she would have been able to. Her mother has put the rest of Matty's presents and her own presents into a large cardboard box and Daisy carries that, taking a moment to lock the car.
"Looks like the kid had a good Christmas," Jack comments as they head back towards the building, side by side once more.
"Yes," Daisy smiles. "I save up the entire year to give him a good Christmas."
"'m sure winnin' that cupcake contest helped," he says.
"I put that money right in the bank," Daisy replies. "I'm not going to touch it until I have enough."
He's quiet for a moment as he steps aside so she can walk up the stairs first and she's very aware of him following behind. Her cheeks blush faintly as she imagines his eyes on her.
Daisy wonders if Jack thinks about her as often as she seems to find herself thinking about him. Of course, she wouldn't be surprised if she finds out that he doesn't think about her at all. Perhaps he is able to think of her the way she tries to think of him. Perhaps she is nothing except the across the hall neighbor. And that's how it should be.
Daisy opens the door to the apartment once more and she instantly sees Matty in the truck, driving it around the living room, making circles around the coffee table and laughing with absolute delight. She hopes their neighbor who lives in the apartment below them, Dawn, doesn't kill them though the interactions Daisy's already had with her, she's not the nicest woman in the world.
"Where you want this?" Jack asks behind her.
"This way," she says and leads the way down the short hallway towards the two bedrooms, turning into the small one on the left – Matty's bedroom, decorated with dinosaurs, superheroes and cowboys. Various toys are scattered on the carpeted floors and Daisy quickly clears away a space beneath the window. Jack sets the low table down cautiously and takes a step back immediately after. Daisy smiles at him. "Thank you so much for all of your help. I wasn't too sure how I was going to do this on my own."
He doesn't say anything; just nods his head, hands shoved in the pockets of his blue jeans.
She doesn't say anything either and she stands there, unable to help but look at the man before her. He's not necessarily a large man. He's actually rather lean but he's completely solid. She knows. She has seen him in just jeans and tee-shirt and she has seen the way his muscles fill him out. He's handsome. So ridiculously handsome and even if he isn't the first man she's ever really been around, he is still definitely the most handsome. He's good-looking in the sort of way where a person almost doesn't realize at first but once they do notice, it's hard to see anything but.
She can't help but wonder what he's thinking about as he stares at her in return. She wonders if he thinks she's pretty or if she's nothing but the young woman who lives across from him with too much baggage for his liking. But she can't image him thinking of Matty as baggage. She thinks he likes Matty actually more than he likes her.
"Mama!" Matty exclaims running into the room. "Jack's cookies!"
"Right," Daisy is grateful to have a reason to break up their staring contest.
She walks past him and heads into the kitchen. There are containers in the box that her mom has packed of Christmas leftovers and one of them contain the sugar cookies that Annette had separated and divided out amongst her children.
She hears Matty's excited voice as she is telling Jack all about his Christmas and the toys he had gotten and he then asks Jack how his Christmas was.
"Good. Went huntin' and bagged a few rabbits," Jack answers.
&
nbsp; Daisy puts the containers of food from Christmas Day in the refrigerator and then pops open the lid of the container of cookies.
"Mama! Can I go huntin' with Jack?" Matty asks as he runs into the kitchen.
Jack stands in the doorway, hands still in his pockets, and Daisy looks at him and then at Matty and then back to Jack. She hadn't heard Jack invite Matty to go hunting and she wonders if he would actually want some five-year-old trailing after him and if she would even let her five-year-old go hunting.
She doesn't say anything. "Here," she takes four cookies and wrapping them in a paper towel, she holds them out for Jack to take. "Merry Christmas," she then says and she's back to looking at him intently.
He reaches out slowly and takes the cookies from her and his fingertips brush against hers. She does her best to act like it doesn't give her shivers.
"Merry Christmas," he then says and again, she has to try and hide the fact that his voice – and so much of this man – gives her shivers.
…
Even before she answers the knocking on the door, Daisy knows exactly who it is. She's been waiting for it. Matty's been spending the morning riding around the apartment in his truck.
Daisy does her best to smile as she opens the door. "Hi, Dawn."
The older woman – her dark hair pulled back into a tight bun as always – just frowns at her though. "I stayed home from work today, Daisy, because I had a headache," she says.
From a hangover, Daisy adds silently in her head.
"And I still have a headache because of that," Dawn says and looks past her shoulder to see Matty making a sharp turn around the coffee table, tipping himself and the truck over onto the floor and laughing. Dawn looks back to Daisy with an arched eyebrow. "Please have him keep it down."
"I'm sorry, Dawn. He got it for Christmas and he's just so excited about it," Daisy says even though she has already told Matty a few times that morning to be a bit quieter.