by Kitty Parker
…
Through no fault of their own, some of the dogs are just mean and it breaks Daisy's heart because those are the ones that need love more than any of them but they growl and bark and show their teeth and won't let anyone get near them and Daisy admits that they make her a little nervous as she and Matty follow Tana past the cages.
She had picked Matty up from school and they made their way right to the shelter, she asking Matty if maybe he would want a dog and the boy was so eager about it, he had practically hopped the entire way there.
"What about this one, mama?" He asks as he stops in front of one with brown fur the color of rust. It's a muscular male, with a boxy build and a torn ear and one eye missing.
Daisy's heart immediately aches at the sight of him.
Matty crouches down in front of the cage, looking at the dog, and Daisy almost holds her breath to see how the dog will react to them. But the dog seems to have no reaction whatsoever. He doesn't growl or snarl but he doesn't come closer out of curiosity either. He just sits there and stares at them and Daisy wonders if she should find that unsettling, too.
"We're putting this one at about two years old," Tana says reading from the animal's chart.
"Does he have a name?" Daisy asks.
"Male #3," Tana answers. "He's just waiting for someone to give him a name," she then says with a small, hopeful smile.
"Otter," Matty then declares and Daisy laughs a little and Tana bursts into a smile, almost laughing herself. Matty looks up at them both. "It's a good name," he then states, thinking they're laughing at him.
"It's the best name I've ever heard for a dog," Daisy beams and leans down, kissing his head.
"I think Otter Greene sounds perfect," Tana agrees.
Otter has no reaction to any of it as Tana opens the cage and leads him out. Daisy pays the adoption fee and buys Otter a collar and leash and bowls and a small bag of food. She already plans on bringing the dog to the farm that weekend for her daddy to look him over. And through all of this, Otter just sits there. He doesn't even wag his tail. He seems completely numb to everything and Daisy can just imagine what this poor dog has been through for the dog to not even wag his tail a little.
Matty insists on holding the leash and Daisy holds everything else as they walk home, Otter walking in front of them, not tugging on Matty to walk faster but walking a little bit slowly as if he has no idea what awaits for him but he might as well go and get it over with.
Jack is sitting on the front steps of the building, smoking a cigarette, and it's the first time Daisy has seen him since Sunday night when he left the bedroom without an explanation but a promise of seeing her tomorrow.
Jack sees them coming and he immediately flicks the cigarette away and stands up. Daisy waits for Matty's usual greeting to the man – an exclamation of his name and an excited explanation of how they have a dog now.
But Matty doesn't say anything to him as they get closer. "Come on, Otter. This is home now," the boy says and leads the dog up the steps and inside and he doesn't acknowledge Jack's presence with even a look in his direction.
Daisy sees the way the man watches the boy disappear inside and she almost feels sorry for him. Almost. But Jack is the one who left – again – and Daisy knows that something happened when she slipped her hand up his back and felt whatever it is that she did feel but he left without even talking with her about any of it or explaining and that's all this man does. He turns away and leaves and stays away until he decides to come back and grace their lives with him once more.
But not this time. It seems like Daisy's not the only Greene sick of allowing Jack to get close only to have him disappear.
Jack turns his head and he looks at Daisy and Daisy looks at him but then, like Matty, she doesn't say anything either as she heads up the steps right past him and goes into the building.
…
He knows he has no business here but he can't seem to keep himself away. This is a big deal – the playoffs – and he's been here the entire season and he wants to see the season end.
He shouldn't be surprised that this has happened. He should have been expecting this all along. Daisy and him were getting closer. Things with Daisy and him had been going great. Being with Daisy and having her and Matty in his life were the best things to ever happen to him. And he knows that that's it. He'll never get either of them back now and he doesn't deserve to have them. He's been jerking her around for more than a year now and he can't expect her to just take him back again and have everything going back to being great.
If he really wants to reach, he can blame his old man. He's blamed the man for so much already in his life, he might as well blame him for this, too. Will Belton's the reason for the scars on his back that Daisy had felt before Jack had ripped away from her. And no one's taught Jack better at walking away from people than Will Belton.
Jack never learned how to talk and he never learned how to deal with his problems. He walks away from things and turns inside of himself and pretends that nothing's wrong.
When Daisy felt his scars, he just immediately pulled away from her – both physically and in his head. He knew, the way they were going, she was going to feel them sooner rather than later but he still hadn't been fully prepared for it. He never shows his scars to anyone. No one in his life even knows he has them – not even Cletus and he's lived with him on and off for years. No one sees him without a shirt and even he has a hard time looking at them.
He can't expect Daisy to look at them. Sweet and good Daisy looking at all of the scars – not just on his back, though those are the worse – that cover his body, it just feels wrong to him.
Maybe the whole thing – being with her – should feel wrong but the truth is, he's never liked himself more than when he was with her. He was so ready for things to be different; for things in his life to be different, and being with Matty and Daisy, he felt like he had been on his way. He should have known though. He was the one not fully prepared to change.
It's too late now. He's walked away one too many times now and now, Matty's hurt, too, and pissed at him and Jack doesn't even know how to start going about making things right again. Maybe he doesn't know because there's not a shot in hell. Maybe he should just let them go for good and let them move onto someone better than he can ever hope to be.
There's a chain-link fence that surrounds the football field and he doesn't enter. He stands on the other side of the fence at one of the end zones- leaning his arms on it, watching the game that way. He doesn't want Daisy or any of her family to know he's here. He can see them in stands – Johnathan, Annette, Maybelle and Nathaniel. Daisy isn't in the stands though. She's standing off to the side of the bleachers, holding the leash of that pit bull they had adopted, watching the game with her bottom lip chewing between her teeth. Her hair's up in her usual braid pinned around her head and she's wearing a green hooded sweatshirt with GATORS on the front in white and Matty's number – 22 – on the back.
Jack's eyes linger on her even though he tells himself more than once to look at anything but her. But Daisy's like the sun and things just gravitate towards her – including his eyes no matter how hard he tries to look away.
Even at this distance, he can see the worry in her eyes perfectly as she watches Matty and the Gators offense and the celebration sweeping across her face when they perform a play well. He has sat next to her for every Gators game and he knew a lot of the others thought he was Matty's dad and Jack had never found himself hating that assumption.
He then looks to the pit bull, wearing a collar and leash, the other end in Daisy's hand. It's a beaten up looking thing – a torn triangle ear, a missing eye – and even with the excitement of the other people around him, the dog simply sits in the grass at Daisy's side and seems to have no reaction to any of it.
"Go, Matty! Go, Matty!" He then hears the coaches and Shawn yelling from the sidelines and Jack's eyes whip back to the field.
Matty's tearing down the field
, weaving past the Cowboys defense with no problem, and Jack's standing at the fence on the other side of the end zone Matty's running to. He easily scores the touchdown and there are cheers from the stands and Jack smiles and claps, watching as some of Matty's teammates have caught up with him and slap him on the helmet or shoulder in congratulations.
Matty then turns his head and looks right at Jack. Jack freezes, not entirely sure what to do, so he just stands there and looks back. He's not sure what to expect. Matty's in the middle of a game. It's not like the kid can come and talk with him – though it's obvious Matty seems as done with him as his mom.
The referee then blows his whistle and Matty quickly turns away, jogging away, and Jack exhales a breath he hasn't realized he's been holding. Not having Matty is just as hard as not having Daisy and Jack wonders if he'll ever get tired of being an asshole.
He's pretty sure he's already there.
…
Cletus sits down with a frown when he sees the empty spot in front of him. "Where's the cupcake?" He asks as soon as he picks up the phone.
Jack shrugs and doesn't say anything.
Cletus just keeps frowning. "What the hell you do?"
Jack stares at him, honestly feeling a little confused by Cletus's reaction. Yeah, Daisy's cupcakes are delicious and amazing and one of the best things in the world and there's not one for him this week but Cletus almost seems furious about that.
"Jus' a cupcake," Jack finally speaks.
"Yeah, but why ain't one here this week?" Cletus asks but he's using that tone where he asks something where he doesn't really want Jack to answer because he already knows the answer. "What the hell you do?" He asks again.
And suddenly, Jack feels himself starting to get hot. "You're the one who told me that me and Daisy ain't like peanut butter and jelly," he snaps before he can stop himself.
"Jelly ain't the only thing to go with peanut butter," Cletus replies.
Now, Jack's feels himself really getting pissed about the way this conversation is going. Cletus's made his opinion about him having something with Daisy known ever since he guessed that something was going on between him and Daisy and now, what? He's their biggest supporter? Jack's glad there's glass between them.
"What 'bout all that shit you told me 'bout single moms and how they're all the same?"
Cletus shrugs. "Thought you kept tellin' me that Daisy ain't like that."
Jack exhales a stream of hot air from through his nose nostrils and doesn't say anything. His fingers tighten around the phone so tightly, his knuckles turn white and begin to ache.
Hell, no, Daisy ain't like that. She's the toughest girl he's ever met. She accepts help but only so much and she makes it damn clear that no one takes care of her son except for her. She makes the money and puts food in his belly and she's not going to lean on anyone for that. She was always so worried that she was forcing Jack into something; that she was putting all of this responsibility on him by having him be Matty's fill-in daddy but Jack never felt that. He never felt like he was being pressured into being anything. Everything he did with Matty – going to his games, taking him hunting – he did that because he liked the kid.
"So, you pushed her away. Now what?" Cletus asks. "Gonna be joinin' me in here soon?"
"Jus' cause I'm alone doesn' mean I'm gonna do anythin' stupid," Jack bites back. "I like bein' alone. What's wrong with that?"
Cletus shrugs and is quiet for a moment, looking at Jack through the glass. Really looking at him and Jack almost shifts on the metal stool uncomfortably.
He sometimes hates when Cletus looks at him like that; as if he really knows him. And maybe Cletus does know him but only a small part of him. The truth is Cletus doesn't know him because he's never really taken the time to. Both brothers know they're different from one another but it's always been something that Cletus has never wanted to admit out loud. And Jack will never tell Cletus this - rarely even admits it to himself – but Jack hates the idea of being anything like Cletus. Cletus's his brother and he loves him and Cletus's all he's got in this world but Jack wants to be nothing like him.
"Nothin' wrong with bein' alone, lil' brother," Cletus then says with a shrug. "Long as that's what you really want."
Jack doesn't say anything to that. He just clenches his jaw and tightens his knuckles though he knows he really doesn't have a reason to be pissed at Cletus.
This is all on him.
…
When he's pissed, Jack does stupid things. It's what being a Belton is all about.
After visiting Cletus, he drives from the prison right to Joe's bar. He orders a beer and a shot before he even sits down and as soon as he's done with that, he orders another. And another. Carolina's there but he ignores her and she ignores him, draped all over some other guy, and instead, he plays a couple of games of pool, making some money and losing some.
And when the other guy accuses him of cheating, Jack doesn't argue with him. He just throws the first punch.
…
Casey's been a good friend to him. When he and Cletus first got to town, it didn't take the Sheriff long to realize that the brothers were two very different people and he treated them as such. Just because Cletus liked to get into constant trouble didn't mean that Jack did and Casey – and Adam, too – never lumped the two brothers together.
He's actually made a few good friends in this town. Casey and Adam and Tana and Martinez. When someone calls the police, Casey and Adam show up and take one look at Jack and the other guy and without a word, Adam takes Jack outside as Casey talks to others in the bar.
Adam has a first-aid kit under his seat in the cruiser and Jack doesn't do anything or say anything as he sits on the back of his truck and lets Adam clean up his face a little bit.
"What the hell you doin'?" Adam asks him.
Jack shrugs. He doesn't know how to answer that because he doesn't have the first clue.
Adam sighs. "You could just talk to her," he then suggests as if it's as easy as that.
"She's not gonna wanna talk to me ever 'gain," Jack mutters and even as he says it and he knows it to be the truth, he feels a sinking in his stomach.
He has no one to blame but himself and he's not denying that. If he hadn't walked out on her, if he had just stayed and told her something – anything – he'd be over there right now, sitting on the couch, watching some show with Daisy, his arm around her and her head on his chest and he could smell her hair. And then, he'd be going to sleep with her, lying in her comfy bed with her body in his arms.
He feels a burning in the back of his throat before he swallows it down. Beltons don't cry and he's not going to be the first one who starts crying because of some girl.
He sighs. Not some girl. He knows she's not some girl. She's the girl a guy, who, if he's lucky enough, gets in his life and does everything to keep her there. She's the girl every single other girl in the world is compared to. She's the greatest, best thing to ever happen to him and he threw that all away because she felt his scars. Big deal. She would have felt them eventually and he knows Daisy wouldn't have judged. He can tell her anything and Daisy will listen and she would never make him feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Adam finishes with his face and steps back and Casey comes out then. He doesn't say anything and Jack doesn't ask. He knows the other guy isn't pressing charges. Fights like this are a pretty normal occurrence at Joe's and no one involved ever wants to press charges unless there are weapons involved and then the cops have no choice but to haul people in. But not over a fistfight – as brutal as it might have been.
Casey looks him over. "Want to crash on the couch at my place tonight?" He asks.
Jack doesn't think about it. He just nods his head.
…
Tana isn't talking to him and he's not surprised about that. Tana loves Daisy and he's the jackass who walked away from her and girls stick together in things like that.
He's sitting at the kitchen table in the Ames' kitchen, a cup
of coffee in front of him. Jessi's in her highchair, feeding herself from a bowl of Cheerios and she keeps making offerings to Jack and his lips twitch a little as he takes the o-shaped cereal piece and she beams happily as he pops it into his mouth. Billy's sitting across from him, finishing a last minute assignment for school he hadn't been able to finish the night before.
At Daisy and Matty's, Daisy is a coffee addict and makes a pot of coffee first thing. Matty always has a bowl of cereal – usually Lucky Charms or Cinnamon Toast Crunch but sometimes, Daisy makes scrambled eggs and Jack knows that making scrambled eggs is pretty easy and even he'd be able to handle it but somehow, she makes the best scrambled eggs that he's ever had.
Matty eats breakfast on a stool at the counter and swings his legs back and forth and Daisy sips on her coffee, going over her list of everything she has to do that day, and it's not as if neither are morning people. They're just quiet in the mornings. And Jack had loved it. He would come over for coffee and would sit on the stool next to Matty and they would talk but it was always just about their plans for the day and nothing much more than that.
Tana likes to listen to the radio in the mornings – turned to some annoying top 40 station's morning show with a man and woman hosts who he's probably punch if he ever met. And his head is killing him and his face is bruised but Jack's pretty sure that it's the radio that morning that's making his head pound.
"Hey," Casey enters the kitchen, dressed in his uniform, and he slaps a hand on Jack's shoulder before kissing Jessi on the head and Tana on the lips. "Mind taking a look at my cruiser real quick before you head off to work?" Casey asks Jack as Tana hands him a cup of coffee. "Sounded like a ping pong ball was bouncing around under the hood last night."
And Jack knows there's not a damn thing wrong with that Sheriff car but he nods and stands up, heading out of the kitchen and Casey following behind him.
In the garage, Casey pops the hood and Jack dutifully begins his inspection, well aware of Casey standing there, sipping his coffee and watching him. He braces himself.