by Kitty Parker
Matty stops and thinks about it for a moment. "Tired," he then decides and Jack's lips quirk into a little smile.
"Not surprisin'," Jack agrees with a nod of his head. "They kept comin' in here every couple of hours to check up on you. I'm gonna let them know you're awake now."
Matty nods and Jack hits the button the side of his bed that calls for a nurse.
"Where's mama?" Matty asks, having noticed her missing from the room as soon as he opened his eyes and looked around the room.
"She went to the cafeteria for more coffee. She'll be back in a minute," Jack promises him.
Matty nods and looks to the windowsill. There are already a couple of cards and a few green and white balloons tied to the foot of his bed. He smiles a little when he sees them.
"Matty," Jack says his name then and Matty immediately looks to him. Now the man looks nervous, Matty notes. "I've already apologized to your mama but I need to apologize to you, too," he says and Matty doesn't say anything. He just waits. "'m real sorry for havin' jus' left the way I did. I care too much 'bout your mama and 'bout you and I shouldn' have done that." He says and looks him right in the face.
"Why'd you go?" Matty asks him the question he's been wanting to ask him.
Jack shifts a little in his seat. "'cause I was feelin' so much for you and your mama and I didn' know how to handle it," he answers.
Matty really doesn't understand that but he figures it's just because he's too young and maybe it's one of those things where his mama tells him he'll understand when he's older.
He looks at Jack and the man does look sorry. He looks sad and worried still and he's looking at Matty and after a second, Matty gives him a smile.
"You gonna leave again?" Matty asks him.
"I'll shoot myself with a bolt if I even think 'bout leavin' you two again," Jack promises.
And Matty wants to believe him.
So he does.
…
His mama's a lot happier with Jack back around. He starts coming around for dinner again and Matty goes to open the door every night he knocks with a wide smile on his face because he's happy Jack's back, too. And Jack seems to be smiling more than he used to because it's obvious he's happy, too.
They eat dinner together and mama talks about her cupcakes and Matty talks about Christmas. It's coming and he's been working on his list. He's not asking for that much. What he really wants is a remote-controlled T-Rex dinosaur robot. Every time he sees the commercial on the TV, he stops what he's doing so he can watch it and he imagines all of the things he'd be able to do if he had it for himself.
"What do you do for Christmas?" Matty asks Jack curiously.
Jack shrugs, pausing to chew on his mouthful of cornbread before answering. "Never really do anythin' for Christmas," he answers. "Usually go huntin' for a couple of days."
And Matty blinks at him because that doesn't make any sense to him. How can he not do anything for Christmas? He just thinks of Christmases at the farm and how big of a deal it is to everyone in the family. How can Jack just spend his Christmas in the woods.
But before he can ask – and he's going to ask – his mom lightly puts a hand on his head.
"Eat your soup, Matty," She tells him and she says it in that tone where he should do what she says. So he does – even though his brow is still furrowed and he still has a lot of questions for Jack about Christmas. It just doesn't make any sense to him.
…
Jack starts coming over for dinner every night and Matty sees the way his mama smiles every time he walks into the kitchen and the way Jack smiles at her, too.
Things seem to be going good but Matty can't help but watch Jack closely. He knows the man said he never would leave again but he can't help but wonder if the man will actually walk away again or not. If he does and he makes his mama sad again, Matty will never talk to him again. But it's been a couple of weeks and he's still here and his mama just seems to smile more whenever Jack's around and that makes Matty smile, too, because he likes Jack and he wants to keep liking Jack.
"Shoot," mama says as she's looking through the refrigerator for something.
"What do you need?" Jack asks, standing close behind her.
"I thought I had parmesan cheese…" She's frowning as she straightens and closes the door, turning back to Jack.
"I can run to the store and pick some up real quick," Jack offers.
"Don't be silly," she shakes her head and smiles a little. "You don't have to go all the way to the store just for some parmesan cheese. We'll just eat our spaghetti tonight without it."
And Matty gasps because how can he eat spaghetti without parmesan cheese?
Jack smiles a little. "'s a'right. Can't eat spaghetti without parmesan cheese either," he says as he pulls his keys from his pocket. He looks to Matty. "Wanna come?" He asks him.
"Yeah!" He says as he races to his room, Otter trotting after him, for his shoes and mama is calling after him to remember his hat and gloves.
When he comes back, mama and Jack are still in the kitchen and mama is smiling up at him and Jack grunts something to her – too soft for Matty to hear – but whatever it is he says, it makes mama smile and he stands there without either of them noticing him. And when mama raises herself up on her toes and kisses Jack, her hands on his cheeks, Matty lowers his eyes to the floor and smiles.
…
"Can I get this?" Matty asks and Jack turns away from the shelf where he's studying parmesan cheeses and he sees Matty holding up the pack of Handi-Snacks he's taken from the end display.
"Yeah," Jack nods and then looks back to the cheeses and Matty grins, hugging the treat close to his chest.
The grocery store is a little crowded for it being dinnertime and Matty is ready to go back and stand next to Jack so he doesn't get snatched up – something his Grandma Annette always seems to be worried about whenever they go out – but Matty hears a laugh from the deli counter that makes Matty turn his head though he doesn't know why it would.
His dad. His real dad is standing at the deli counter with his wife, Alicia. She's never liked him. Matty may be young but he's not an idiot and the woman has never smiled at him. He looks at his dad and the woman standing next to him. He hasn't seen his dad in months and he hasn't changed that much. Still tall and skinny with pale skin and red cheeks. Matty can't help but look back to Jack with his muscles and dark hair and leather vest.
Matty looks back to his dad, who's grinning at the woman. And the woman is laughing again, her hand skimming over her stomach and that's when Matty notices her belly. Her big belly. She's going to have a baby. And his dad looks so happy about that.
His dad's going to have a baby he actually wants.
"A'right, Matty. Ready to go?" He hears Jack ask but Matty can't look away from the deli counter – at his dad smiling and his wife laughing and at her big belly.
And Matty doesn't know why he doesn't like what he sees. It's not like he loves his dad and he knows his dad doesn't love him. His dad hasn't been around for months and Matty hasn't wanted him to be but he looks at them and he feels tears stinging his eyes.
"Matty," Jack says, closer this time, but Matty sniffles and closes his eyes, shaking his head. Jack's quiet for a second and Matty figures that Jack has seen his dad by the deli counter and he doesn't say anything. "Come on," Jack then says and he hoists Matty up in his arms.
Matty knows he's probably too old to be carried like this but he doesn't care and he squeezes his eyes shut and rests his head on his shoulder as Jack carries him away.
…
Once Jack pays for the parmesan cheese and Handi-Snacks, they're back in his pickup truck. Jack starts the engine but he doesn't drive away and Matty stares down at his gloves rather than at him, feeling his eyes on him.
"Your dad doesn' know what he's missin', Matty," Jack tells him.
Matty nods because he doesn't really know why he's upset. He doesn't need his dad. He's got his Grandpa and his uncles. And he's got
Jack, too.
He turns his head and looks at the man and doesn't say anything.
"You're the coolest kid I've ever met," Jack adds.
"Then why doesn't my dad want me?" He then asks in a quiet voice.
Jack exhales a breath and reaches out, putting a hand on his head. "'cause he's an idiot and you don't need idiots in your life who ain't good enough to be there."
Matty looks at him and Jack looks at him and finally, Matty gives a small nod. He doesn't know if he believes Jack fully or not but what Jack's said makes sense enough. Jack surprises him then by leaning in and kissing his head.
"Le's go home and eat some spaghetti 'fore your mama starts worryin'," Jack says.
This time, Matty feels like he's able to easily smile. He likes how easily Jack's able to say that.
Home.
…
He's not surprised that Jack tells mama about the grocery store. When he wakes up the next morning, it's the last day of school before Christmas break and he's eager to go. He comes out of his bedroom, first going to the bathroom, before coming out to the living room. He can hear Otter in the kitchen already, eating his kibble, and his mama is sitting on the couch, her eyes red and she looks like she didn't sleep a wink the night before.
"Hey, baby," she says and does her best to smile at him. She then opens her arms and Matty immediately heads for her, climbing onto the couch, and she embraces him, pulling him in close. "I love you much," she says to him softly.
"Love you much," he says back because that's what his mama and him always say to one another. He hugs her back and she kisses his head and she doesn't let him go.
…
Grandpa Johnathan comes with them to the outdoors store. It's massive with two levels and mama immediately takes hold of his hand because she doesn't want him running off.
"I believe we have to go to the second floor," grandpa says and leads them towards the escalators. "And he's coming for sure?" He then asks mama.
"I asked him the other night and he seems to think he'll be imposing but I kept telling him that we want him there. He said he'll come for Christmas Day dinner," mama answers.
On the second floor, there are all sorts of hunting equipment and guns to buy. Matty sees a wall of crossbows that all look just like the one Jack has and he wants to go look at them but mama and grandpa are heading to another counter and Matty goes with them. His eyes widen slightly as he looks down at the display case. So many knives.
Mama starts talking to the man on the other side of the counter who's come to help them.
"He hunts just about every weekend and I know he cleans the animals right in the spot. He has a knife now. It's about this big, I think," mama says, holding up her hands to show the length of Jack's hunting knife. "I was wanting to get him something newer. I don't know if knives wear down or something but even if they don't, nothing wrong with two knives."
"What about that one, Daisyy?" Grandpa asks, pointing to one, tapping his finger on the glass. "That looks about to be the right size."
"What do you think, Matty?" Mama asks and Matty has been looking around at everything that is crowded on the second floor and he whips his head back towards her. The man on the other side of the counter is holding up a big knife that seems as big as Matty's forearm with a pretty white handle and a blade that gleams under the lights.
"He'll love it," Matty eagerly agrees with a quick bobbing of his head.
…
And he does.
Jack comes over to the farm on Christmas Day, in the afternoon, just like he promised he would, and Matty is eager to show him his remote control T-Rex. Otter's been barking at it and running away from it all morning and Matty doesn't know why people think dogs like Otter are so scary.
When Jack comes, mama goes to meet him on the porch and they're out there for a few minutes and Matty curiously glances out the window, seeing them hugging and talking to one another. Whatever it is, it makes mama laugh. She thinks Jack is the funniest guy.
"Merry Christmas, Jack!" Matty comes running over to him once Jack steps into the house and he throws himself against him.
"Merry Christmas, kid," Jack smiles, hugging him back, and Matty's always liked that Jack calls him that. "You got your T-Rex."
"Wanna see?" Matty asks and tugs him over to show him and even hands Jack the remote control so Jack can play with it, too.
Everyone comes to greet Jack, too – Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Shawn, Uncle Nathaniel and Aunt Maybelle and they're smiling at him, happy that he's there that day, too. Mama goes to the tree where there is one more wrapped present and she brings it back to where Jack is.
"Merry Christmas," she smiles at him.
Jack stares at it for a moment as if he's never seen a Christmas present. He then looks to mama and she gives him a soft smile and still holds it out for him to take. And he does – slowly – and unwraps it even slower.
"I helped pick it out!" Matty then exclaims so Jack knows that it's from Matty, too.
Jack stares down at the new hunting knife and doesn't move or say anything and Matty thinks that maybe he doesn't like it at all. But then, Jack leans in and kisses mama, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her in front of all of them and Matty can't help but giggle. He definitely seems to like it.
…
Jack helps them home, driving them and then helping with carrying the collection of presents from the truck up to their apartment later that evening. "Got you two somethin', too," he then says before going across the hall to his apartment and returning a minute later with two wrapped boxes.
He hands one box to mama and one box to Matty.
Matty eagerly goes into the living room and sitting on the floor, he sits down and rips the paper away and opens the small box. He gasps the instant he sees what it is and he pulls it out. "Mama, look!" Matty scrambles to his feet and hurries to show her.
A pocket knife – not big like Jack's but the perfect size for his own little hand.
"Every hunter needs a knife," Jack says and Matty grins so wide at that, his face is beginning to hurt but he doesn't care.
He can't wait to show this to Tavon.
"And you're going to listen to every word Jack says when he teaches you how to be safe with it," mama says and Matty nods, turning it over in his hands and looking at every inch of it. He's going to sleep with this under his pillow tonight.
"Thank you so, so much, Jack," Matty says and rushes over to him, hugging him tight.
"You're welcome," Jack smiles, hugging him back. "We'll use it this weekend."
When mama opens her present, Jack looks nervous and Matty leans in close to see what it is. It's slim and small and when she lifts the lid, she goes completely still. Matty peers down at it. It's a piece of paper and he doesn't know any of the words across the top except for RULES and VISITOR. His brow furrows but mama doesn't seem to be confused. She picks up the piece of paper and looks at it before looking to Jack.
He looks nervous and unsure and he shrugs. "Figured we could go this comin' Sunday. If you wan'," he then adds.
Mama doesn't say anything and Matty wants to ask what it is and where they're going but before he can, mama turns and wraps her arms around Jack's neck, hugging him tightly and she exhales a shaky breath, and Jack closes his eyes and hugs her back - so tight, his arms seems to flex around her.
Matty figures he doesn't want to interrupt. Taking his new knife, he heads into his bedroom to play with his T-Rex robot, Otter trotting after him.
…
She's not so sure why she's feeling nervous but she is and Jack seems to know that she is because he reaches over and covers her hands with one of his. She wonders if it's just because she's in a waiting room in a prison. She's never been anywhere like this and it would be perfectly understandable if she's nervous about that. She looks to Matty, who is sitting in the chair next to her, to see if he's nervous, too. But instead, the boy is sitting there, swinging his legs back and forth and looking around at every
thing with fascination.
Daisy then wonders if she's nervous because she'll be meeting Jack's brother for the first time. She has seen Cletus, of course, but they haven't officially met and her opinions from run-ins with him in the hallway of their apartment building aren't that high. Always frowning and growling at Matty for being in his way or being drunk and disruptive.
But maybe he's different now. Daisy doesn't find it hard to believe that being in a prison can change a person and she knows Jack wouldn't bring her and Matty here to meet his brother unless Jack thought that there was even the remotest possibility of it going well.
She has told him that she wants to know more about his life. She knows Jack is a very private person and anytime she had previously come too close to knowing anything about him, he turned and ran away and disappeared. But this time is different. She can feel it. So when she asked him this time, she didn't brace herself for him to just walk away. Instead, he sat there and thought it through and finally, he gave his head a nod.
Bringing her and Matty to meet his brother was entirely Jack's idea and Daisy is perfectly aware of how huge this is for all of them.
She doesn't know much about Cletus Belton or the relationship the brothers share with one another but it's obvious that they are close. They would have to be if Jack drives two hours every Sunday to visit him.
Daisy wonders how the older Belton will like her. She's sure that she's not exactly the sort of girl that Cletus has spent time with and before her, she knows that Jack didn't either. She's someone completely different – still wearing her dress from church service that morning – and she's not sure what Cletus will think of her.
"Belton!" The guard calls out.
Jack and Daisy stand up and Matty slides out of his chair. They are all wearing visitor badges clipped to their shirts and Daisy has already handed the box to the guard upon their arrival so it could be sent through the machine and scanned. With her hands free, she clutches at Jack's hand as they walk through the door to the visitors room, making sure that Matty is staying close.