by Martina Cole
Kate was beyond caring about that.
Her health was finally broken on that terrible night when Wendy came to her, bloody and battered, and she had realised that her own son, whom she had raised and nurtured, loved and adored once, was responsible. The shock nearly killed her then. She still found it hard to believe at times.
But she had written a statement to be read out in court, explaining in graphic detail how he had treated his wife and children. She had made sure they knew what he was, and it had cleansed her. Made her feel she had paid for her part in all that grief.
After all, she had birthed him.
He had been her son.
If anyone knew what a piece of shite he really was, it was her. She prayed her statement would bring that girl home to her family where she belonged.
Kate felt the pain across her chest again and tried to regulate her breathing. She hadn’t long left and only hoped it was enough to see Susan home once more. To touch her face and hand, tell her how much she loved and admired her for doing what she had.
Taking the law into her own workworn hands.
Kate’s final wish was to shake the hand of the girl who had murdered her own son.
She picked up her rosary beads and started to say another decade of Hail Marys. Our Lady would understand, she had been a mother herself. She understood the difficulties of motherhood, the constant neediness of children.
For a split second Kate was back in Scotland with her husband and baby son. How handsome Barry had been, how people had remarked on his eyes and hair. She saw him on his first day at school, fat little legs encased in royal blue socks to match his jumper.
Where had that little boy gone?
Where had the man come from?
The vicious man. The bully. The wife beater. The rapist.
Her tears stung, their saltiness a reminder of the fact she was still alive. She was alive and that little boy was dead.
Kate clutched the rosary tighter, the beads cutting into her skin. She closed her eyes and her lips moved constantly in prayer.
Kate Dalston would leave nothing to chance.
It was nearly time for tea but the women were reluctant to leave the rec room. As they lined up to be fed they made as little noise as possible.
Rhianna sat by herself waiting for Sarah to bring her food as usual.
PO Blackstock sat opposite her.
‘I have never in my life been so worried about a prisoner.’
Rhianna laughed.
‘There’s always a first time for everything, I hear.’
‘I like old Susan. Everyone does.’
‘What’s not to like? She’s a nice person. A lot of us are if you’d take the time to find it out.’
‘I heard through the grapevine that Matty’s been declared criminally insane at last. She’s to be detained indefinitely.’
Rhianna shrugged.
‘So what’s new? Tell me something I didn’t already know.’
The PO’s eyes swept the room.
‘Hang on, the news is on.’
She stood up and banged on the table with a tray. The room went quiet. The newscaster’s voice was loud in the confines of the rec room.
‘The appeal court today freed Susan Dalston . . .’
The whole place erupted. Women were shouting and hugging. POs and prisoners were hugging and shouting. The rest of the newscast was drowned out by the noise.
Their wing went first then the rest of the prison joined in. Plates were banged on tables, feet were stamped on floors. It was deafening.
Rhianna and Blackstock grinned at one another, Rhianna clenching her fists and jumping into the air, shouting, ‘Yes!’ over and over again.
In her office the governor allowed herself a smile before pressing her intercom and saying blandly, ‘Leave them for a while. Let them get it out of their systems.’
Alana was screaming as was Barry. Rosie joined in because she didn’t know what else to do. Debbie, half laughing and half crying, hugged them all to her.
Then, opening the larder, she took out a large frosted raspberry cake.
It was over, her sister was coming home.
Alana hugged her hard.
‘Thanks for everything, Auntie Debbie. You’re lovely, I love you.’
Debbie took her once more into her arms and said sadly, ‘And I love you and all, darlin’. Remember that. You’ll always have a home here. You know that, don’t you?’
Alana nodded, eyes full of tears of happiness.
Barry, seeing his chance, stuck his finger into the frosting on the cake and ate it as fast as he could. It broke the tension. Then everyone stuffed their hands into the cake and grabbed at it. It turned into a fight and as Debbie saw her lovely fitted kitchen destroyed in front of her eyes she laughed like a woman who had never laughed before.
June saw the bottle of champagne and looked at Joey. He grinned at her.
‘I arranged it earlier, I knew you’d want to celebrate. Old Jonesey said it’s on the house like. What a touch, eh?’
June picked up her glass and held it in a toast.
‘To my girl, home at last.’
Joey nodded and downed his drink in one mouthful. Belching loudly, he said, ‘You can finish that crap, it gives me wind.’
But he grasped her hand as he said it and she smiled at him. After all the fights, all the trouble, all the heartache they had caused one another, they were finally, in their twilight years, a couple.
Susan was in a car being swept away from the Old Bailey to a destination unknown to anyone but Geraldine and Roselle. In fact they were going to a house in Essex that Roselle had found through Ivan. It was expensive to rent and in the middle of nowhere. Susan could get her head together there.
‘I can’t believe it! I can’t believe I’m really out.’ Wendy held one of Susan’s hands tightly and Roselle held the other. Geraldine sat in front with Danny, Roselle’s trusted friend. He was going to mind them for a while until the deals with the newspapers had been done and the hysteria over the case had died down.
‘Colin’s waiting with champagne and fillet steak, Sue. We’ll have a real party tonight. The kids will be there first thing in the morning and then your life will be complete.’
Susan looked into Geraldine’s face.
‘How can I ever thank you?’
She grinned.
‘By having the time of your fucking life from now on!’
Geraldine’s swearing made them all laugh, the nervous tension evaporating as they did so.
Roselle sat silently, her heart full.
But she was seeing Barry, the Barry she had loved. The man who had adored his Rosie so much he had not been able to part with her.
She saw him in her flat, changing the baby’s nappy, his heart-wrenchingly handsome face smiling up at her.
She closed her eyes and felt the tears well. Susan grabbed her hand. Roselle looked at her and knew Susan was seeing what she was seeing. Had guessed what was going through her mind.
‘I know, love, I know. But he’s gone now and we’re all still here.’
Wendy’s voice came from the depths of her being.
‘Amen to that.’
Kate Dalston passed away four days later, the day she took her daughter-in-law’s hand and told her how much she loved and admired her.
She died peacefully, with nothing on her conscience.
Susan Dalston had made sure of that.
Epilogue
‘Who’d have thought it, eh? The turn of the century. A new millennium.’
June’s voice was hushed.
Debbie laughed.
‘Me dad would have loved it, the piss up of the century!’
June laughed with her.
‘Wait till I get up there, I’ll slaughter him for leaving me to get drunk on my own tonight.’
Debbie put an arm across her mother’s shoulders.
‘You’re not on your own, you’ve got us lot.’
‘Another three mon
ths and he’d have seen the century out. But that was him all over. Never saw anything through to the end.’
Her voice was angry. For all that had happened over the years, she still missed him. She looked frail these days, old. The fighting and drinking woman was gone now. June had finally admitted she just didn’t have the energy any more. Facing old age and loneliness, she embraced her children and her grandchildren, loving every moment she spent with them. Revelling in the forgiveness they had given her for their past lives.
Ivy sat in a chair, her eyes vacant as she tried to understand what was going on around her. June placed a hand on her leg.
‘All right, girl?’
Ivy pushed her hand away shouting querulously, ‘Who are you then? What are you doing in my house?’
Debbie bent over the chair and said gently, ‘We’re all at Susan’s, Gran, remember?’
Ivy looked into a pair of kind eyes and smiled.
‘Have they let her out then? About fucking time.’
‘Senile old bat.’ June’s voice was upset.
Wendy came into the room with a large tray of food.
‘Put that out, Debs, and I’ll get the rest in.’
Debbie took the heavy platter from her and growled.
‘Stop lifting in your condition.’
Wendy grinned.
‘Don’t be so silly. I’m having a baby, I’m not ill.’
Debbie snorted. She was a dumpy matron these days. They joked that she was the children’s second mother by proxy.
She still lived in her house in Rainham, and still cleaned it constantly. But she was also a much happier woman. The closeness between Debbie and Susan had grown over the years and now they saw one another constantly, and spoke on the phone at least five times a day. They lived in each other’s pockets.
Susan’s voice bellowed from the kitchen.
‘Leave her alone, Debs.’
Everyone laughed.
Wendy’s husband came into the room then. David Hart was a tall, good-looking, quiet man who worshipped his fiery wife.
‘Geraldine’s here, I just saw her pull up. You want to see her new car, a Mercedes convertible.’
His tone said ‘At her age’ and they all laughed again.
Geraldine looked better at fifty-four than most women did at twenty-five. Still manless and happy with that state, she worked flat out for women’s causes.
Susan bustled into the room, all heavy breasts, smiles and highlighted hair. She was a different woman to the one who had married Barry Dalston. She looked better now than she had ever looked and she knew it.
Susan was finally what she wanted to be, a confident woman with her family around her and no real problems. Still living for her children, she made her life around them, and they adored her as much as she adored them.
‘Have you seen Geraldine?’
Geraldine followed her into the room and grinned at everyone, two magnums of champagne in her arms. In the background Robbie Williams was playing and it set the tone for everyone.
Alana came in then with Barry in tow.
‘All right, Ger? You look marvellous.’ It was a statement of fact.
‘You don’t look too bad yourself.’
Barry kissed her on the lips.
At twenty-four he was the living image of his dead father, but thankfully he was the opposite in personality and brains. He was working in computers and earning twenty-five grand a year, something Susan told anyone and everyone who would listen.
But sometimes it pained her to look at him.
Geraldine started to help with the food and when the front door opened again and Doreen walked in the house was once more in uproar.
‘Jesus Christ, Sue, getting a cab is an impossibility. I had to pay triple fare.’
Her loud voice could be heard out in the back garden.
She was still thin, still bleached-blonde, and still had a fag hanging from the corner of her mouth. Other than a few more wrinkles she never seemed to change.
‘My Michael’s picking me up at ten to go to his house, as if I want to go there tonight of all nights with that bleeding wife of his.’
Wendy kissed her hello.
‘She is a miserable mare, I’ll give you that, Auntie Dor.’
‘They’re all going, apparently. I don’t know how that came about. I was amazed I was invited let alone the others.’
She bent over Ivy’s chair.
‘All right, Ivy?’ Her voice was even louder than usual.
Ivy nodded happily. ‘Is my Joey here yet, dear?’
Doreen shook her head. ‘I hope not love, we want to enjoy ourselves tonight.’
Even June laughed at that.
Susan put her arms around Wendy in the kitchen.
‘You sure you’re all right, love? You look pale.’
Wendy shrugged.
‘I’m all right, Mum. David keeps his eye on me.’
‘He’s a good man, him. I hope the others do as well when their time comes.’
Her voice was full of hope and Wendy hugged her again.
‘I hate the thought of history repeating itself.’
Wendy didn’t answer her. Instead she changed the subject.
‘He got his promotion. Head of English now if you don’t mind. I was going to save it till later, but I wanted you to know first.’
Susan flapped her hand.
‘It was a foregone conclusion. He’s worked hard enough for it.’
‘He’s a good man, Mum, stop worrying about us all.’
‘It’s Rosie I worry about. Too attractive for her own good, that one.’
This was said with rough pride.
Geraldine came out to the kitchen and looked at Wendy.
‘I hope this one doesn’t decide to come tonight of all nights. The hospitals are empty by all accounts.’
Wendy patted her belly.
‘Which is more than you can say for the pubs.’
The celebrations had been going on for days, the talk of power cuts and computer breakdowns forgotten in the excitement of being in on a little bit of history.
In the lounge June was shouting. ‘Put the telly on - that Angus Deayton’s doing his usual end of the year thing.’
‘It’s called The End of the Year Show, Gran.’
‘I’d have gone after him a few years ago, he’s lovely.’
‘That would cheer him up no end if he knew.’
Rosie’s voice was full of fun as she walked into the room.
Everyone looked at her. She was stunning.
Long blonde hair and deep blue eyes, she looked like a computer image of the perfect woman. She was training to be a nurse, and had set more than a few pulses racing. Alana, who was now a staff nurse, looked out for her. The two girls were very close.
But Rosie’s secret was the fact she was really unaware of how lovely she was; this was the worry that Susan had for her youngest daughter. But Rosie had her head screwed on and managed her life just fine.
Alana grinned as June shouted out, ‘This time it will be called The End of the Millennium show anyway.’
Rosie and Alana groaned.
June always had to have the last word.
‘Whatever you say, Gran.’
‘The BBC are linking up with the rest of the world. We’ll see this one in with the whole planet.’
June sounded pleased to be a part of something so big. Susan replaced her empty glass with a full one.
‘She’ll be asleep before it all starts and asleep when it’s all over,’ she predicted fondly. ‘Her and old Ivy.’
Ivy nodded. ‘Have you seen me teeth, Sue?’
‘You’ve got them in your mouth, love!’ Susan’s voice was loud.
‘Barry, help me unload the car, would you.’
He followed Geraldine from the house. Roselle was parking out on the road. She was with Danny, now her constant companion. They fitted together somehow, had a mutual respect and a deep love that transcended age and colour. They just
were.
Roselle looked at the detached house, with its large in-and-out drive and sparkling windows. It was a far cry from Susan’s beginnings, but she deserved it if anyone did. It had come from the money from the newspaper stories and the book about her life.
They strolled up the drive together, easy in each other’s company.
The kitchen was baking hot and Susan opened the back door.
She felt a pair of hands push her out into the garden then grab her from behind. Cool lips touched the back of her neck.
‘Happy, are you, Susan? Now you’ve got them all around you again?’
She turned and slid into Peter’s arms.
‘It’s the second happiest night of me life.’
‘You deserve it, mate.’
He looked at her lovingly. Peter could never quite believe she was his wife. It was a dream come true for him. Whenever he looked at her he saw the girl he had gone to school with, the girl who’d barely known he was alive back then.
When he loved her in the night it was with a ferocious passion that belied his quiet daytime appearance. And Susan loved him back. She had never known she could feel that way. That someone touching you could bring so much happiness, so much pleasure. With Barry it had all been taking, taking what he wanted, and her letting him. She pushed him from her mind. He wasn’t going to ruin tonight.
He’d ruined enough of her life.
Peter had been a proper father to her children, and she would love him for that alone. She kissed him again, passionately.
‘You never let a chance slip by, do you, Susan?’
The voice was deeper now, but held the same affection for her.
‘Oh, Rhianna, you made it!’
She grinned.
‘You didn’t think I’d let the old crowd down tonight of all nights, did you?’ Rhianna breezed in and out of Susan’s life. It was how she was. But Susan had had a feeling she’d turn up tonight. It felt right somehow, that they were all together on this auspicious occasion.
‘Colin and his kids have just pulled up. His wife ain’t with him.’
Susan frowned. ‘They’ve separated again! Still, Geraldine will cheer him up!’