by K E Osborn
“Eventually, but not as they get to know me. They will get to know me for me. Like me for the person I am before they find out who I really am. See how it works?”
“So you’re basically catfishing them? But in a kinda reverse way, because you actually are the celebrity.” Lunar giggles.
I shrug. “I suppose, but I’ll make them like my personality so much that they won’t care, and they’ll just accept me for me when they do find out.”
“This is a big risk, Matt.” Danger sighs.
“If anyone has shown me love is worth the risk it’s you and Lunar. Fuck, even Ryan and Tillie put it all on the line for love. Why can’t I do the same?”
“All right, just be careful, okay?” Danger instructs.
“Of course, I’m the wise twin remember.”
“Hmmm… debatable at times,” Lunar quips, poking me in the ribs, and I chuckle as we all walk into the boardroom.
Tillie, Ryan, and Oliver are already seated, and Oliver is busy looking over his cell, while Tillie’s typing on her notebook. We all walk in taking our seats, and the meeting is due to start.
Tillie looks up placing her hands together on the table in front of her, and looks over at the three of us. “I would like to try some new marketing strategies with the group since the release of I’ll Take Your Breath is still soaring, we don’t want it to plummet. We need to keep up the momentum.”
“I was a little concerned about Nate not being here for this meeting, but now we’re talking about this song, I’m glad he’s not here because talking about it will only make him think of the film clip and therefore Zaria. He’s already struggling as it is, so it’s better he stays away from here for the moment until the hype of the clip dies down.”
My cell buzzes in my hand and I look down to see it’s another message from Jaci, and I subtly look at it under the table while Tillie continues to talk, but I’ve kinda zoned her out.
Jacqueline: So if you like pineapple as a fruit then why not on a pizza?
I smile and type back.
Me: Isn’t it weird having fruit on a pizza? I mean it just seems weird to me.
Jacqueline: Explain tomato then sucker…
Me: …………
Jacqueline: HA! I win, first pizza we get, it’s having extra pineapple!
Me: Okay fine, but I’m not caving on the pepperoni, we have to have that. Pizza without pepperoni is like an ocean without water.
Jacqueline: Okay agreed… Wait aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting?
Me: Umm, I am lol.
Jacqueline: I hope you’re paying attention!
“Matt! Are you paying attention?” Tillie asks, and I look up seeing everyone is staring at me raising their brows.
“Sorry, what?”
“What’s the vote for you and Nate, Matt. Yes or no?”
I look up having no idea what she’s talking about and simply nod. “Ahh… yes?” I say as more of a question than an answer as I have no idea what I’m agreeing to.
“Really? That’s surprising. Everyone else said no,” Tillie says looking confused.
I take in a sharp breath. “Shit! Sorry. What was the vote for?”
“Matt, you need to take this seriously. This is important business we’re discussing here,” Tillie berates sternly, and I nod putting my cell down with a sigh.
“You’re right, sorry… just um… what was the question?”
“Do we want to put the single up on Spotify as a free download for a limited time?”
My eyes widen. “Ahh… no. Sorry, that’s a definite no.”
“That’s what I thought. And Nate would be a no to that, too?”
“Yes. His vote would be a no, too. Sorry, I’m here, I’m listening, I promise.”
“Well, we’re pretty much all done now. You can go back to your cell conversation. I really only need to talk to Oliver now. You guys can go and rehearse or write or whatever it is you do while you’re here,” she states.
I look to Ryan and curl up my nose in apology as Tillie goes back to her notebook.
“Sorry, Till,” I apologize again. She forces a small smile and focuses back on the work in front of her as I stand up with Ryan, Danger, and Lunar, and we head out of the room down toward the studio.
“Sorry, Ry, I didn’t mean to piss her off.”
“Nah, it’s all good, Till’s just stressed. She’s trying to figure out ways to keep the momentum going. Till just wants the song not to fall or plateau, and she’s putting way too much pressure on herself.”
“Maybe you should help relieve some of her tension, hey, fucker? You really need to take her to that shop on Wilks and Third. Danger and I swear by it,” Lunar says making me chuckle.
“Thanks, Lunar, but I can keep her satisfied without the bondage. Trust me, we’re fine in that department.”
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I bring it up to see another text from Jaci. I read it as we arrive at the studio and grin widely while typing my reply.
An image of Alex suddenly flashes into my mind, and I wonder how she’s going with her internet dating saga, so I send off a quick text message to see how she’s faring.
Me: Hey Alex, just checking in to see how the winks are going? Have you had any hits and are you messaging anyone?
I take up my stool next to the amp that had my bass on it. I sit down as Ryan and Danger muck about doing whatever they want to when I receive a message back from Alex.
Alex: Hey Matty Moo! I’ve had a couple of Pessimistic winks, and there are a couple of guys that are cute, but I haven’t made contact with anyone as yet. I feel strange about making the first move.
I type back to her, as Danger and Ryan begin to wrestle in the studio.
Me: C’est la vie Alex, you should message. Guys like a girl with the initiative to make the first move.
Alex: There’s this one guy I could message. He seems okay…
She seems tentative, so I try to reassure her.
Me: Go for it! I’ve been messaging Jaci all day, and it’s going great. You could have that too, you just have to take a leap.
Alex: Okay, I will. On a side note, Nate is staying back late tonight. So do you wanna come over to my place for takeout, and then we can compare notes on our Lovepessimist matches and just hang out?
Smiling wide at the thought of hanging out with Alex alone, a few nervous flutters run through my stomach. I’m not sure what that is, but I like it.
Me: Yeah sure. I’ll come after 6:30?
Alex: Awesome, see you then!
Chapter Six
Driving through the Art District to get to Alex’s apartment is eye opening. This part of town is really cool. I can see why Nate was so excited by her living here. The giant giraffe mural comes into view, and I pull up out the front of her apartment. I’m still in awe that she’s that uber talented. Grabbing the Chinese takeout from the front passenger seat, I hop out and head inside the building and up the three flights of stairs to her door.
Knocking on the green paintwork, she doesn’t take long to answer. When she pulls the door open, she’s standing there, not in her usual business attire which I’m used to seeing her in, but in a pair of cute denim shorts and a plaid shirt buttoned up just above her perky breasts with her cleavage peeking out. The sleeves of her shirt are rolled up her arms giving her an edgy look. It’s grungy, but somehow it looks hot. My eyes bug out of my head as I stand here gawking.
Alex eventually furrows her brows like I’m being weird. “You gonna stand there all night, or you gonna come in, you creeper?” she asks, shocking me back into reality.
I hand her the bag of Chinese and give her a smile. “I brought food.”
She chuckles, taking the bag and turns to walk inside. “I can see that. Are you high or something, Matt? You’re being weirder than what I’ve ever seen before.”
I shake my head and walk into her apartment, closing the door behind me while taking in the size of the warehouse-looking room. It’s not like I’d imagined
at all. Actually, it’s so much cooler. I like her place instantly as I take in all the colors and the arty feel of the place.
“Alex, your place is amazing.”
She shrugs walking to the kitchen area and plonks the bags down on the metal dining table. “I know, I furnished the place myself. I love everything in here, this place—”
“Is like a work of art,” I interrupt and she nods.
“Yeah, exactly. It’s my own living canvas.”
“I love it, Alex. It makes me feel so… warm,” I say honestly.
“Yep, that’s how I feel here too. Shall we eat before this gets cold?”
We take a seat at the dining table, grab some chopsticks from the takeout bag and start eating straight from the containers.
“So, in your eyes, how’s Nate doing?” I ask.
She sucks in a long noodle and shrugs. “He’s… he’s doing what he does best. Moping and keeping busy with his art. Distraction is key for him. If he’s distracted, he’s okay. He’s constantly painting anything that reminds him of Ria, which isn’t bad because they’re beautiful, but it’s not healthy. When he’s not working, though, he gets super sad. He’s not doing that great. I kinda hate seeing him like this.”
Sighing, I give a small nod. “And how’s Zaria doing?”
“She’s okay. Not doing much better than Nate.”
“They need to sort their shit out.”
“Oh, don’t I know it. Man, those two are the worst at being in a relationship, I swear. But neither of them will listen to me, so there’s nothing I can do.”
“You’re a good friend, Alex.”
“I am. I’m a great friend, Matt.” She smiles wide then sucks up some more noodles. “So you and Jaci, huh? How’s it going?”
“Really well. We’ve been talking on and off all day. She seems great, and I’m excited to learn more about her. Did you make contact?”
She nods and grabs a fortune cookie, breaks it in half and throws the fortune in the bag without reading it. “Yep, with a guy called Logan. He seems okay, maybe a little cocky, but I can work with that. He’s a tattoo artist in downtown LA.”
I chuckle. “Most men are cocky in one way or another, even me sometimes.”
She fake gasps. “Oh no, you would never, Matthew.”
I laugh and grab an egg roll as she continues with her noodles. This Chinese really is good. But with being here and not knowing Alex all that well, I think I’d like to get to know her better. So I figure in the theme of internet dating and getting to know people by asking them questions, I’ll use the same method with Alex. Even though technically we’re not dating, but it’s a good way to get to know someone. I want to ask her some deeper questions.
“So, feel free to tell me if I’m pushing the friendship too far by asking this too soon… but you met Zaria in a women’s shelter, and I’m guessing you weren’t volunteering there?”
She tenses slightly. “No, I was staying there after my douche boyfriend Kyle up and left with all my stuff. Plus, he lifted all the money in my bank account… literally all of it. He left me with not a thing. Couldn’t pay my rent, couldn’t even afford to buy a bottle of fucking water. I was so screwed. Thank fuck for that shelter.” Her eyes flicker, and she blinks a few times and continues, “I had to quit college, couldn’t afford to pay for it. Had to get out of the apartment I was in. Had to sell the few items I had left, which amounted to the jewelry I had on my wrist, for food.” My forehead creases. “The cops didn’t help. They tried to find him, but said there was no hard evidence that it was him, so they couldn’t do anything.
“The shelter was… a godsend. They helped me back on my feet. Gave me odd jobs here and there to allow me to buy things. Then Ria came in, and my world turned upside down. We hit it off. She offered to help me. Paid for me to finish college. So I studied and got myself a part-timer working at a café so I could afford this place. Man, I owe her so much. I don’t know why she took such a liking to me, but I’m eternally grateful to her for helping me through. I’d still be at the shelter if it weren’t for her.”
Shaking my head with a heavy sigh, I had no idea what she went through. “Wow, that’s crazy. I’m so sorry that happened to you. No wonder you’re weird about dating again. I totally understand why now. What I don’t understand though is… where was your family in all of this? Why didn’t they help you when all this shit went down?”
Her face falls, and she sniffs slightly like she’s sad. I instantly know there’s more sadness in her as she chews on her bottom lip.
“I don’t have any family left. I’m an only child, and in 2001 my parents were on holiday in New York City. It was the first time they’d gone on a holiday without me. I was staying with my grandma when the news filtered through of the first plane striking. My grandma tried so hard to get in contact with my parents, but we couldn’t reach them. We tried for hours upon hours… nothing.” The heartache in her voice is clear as it breaks slightly while she talks. “We kept watching the broadcasts. The second plane hit, then they fell. The other attacks came and the world was thrown into madness, and still no word.
“But I could feel it. We knew they were in New York. We knew they weren’t ones to stand around and watch. If they weren’t there at that precise moment they would be there helping through the chaos. That’s the kind of people they were.” She swallows and sniffs slightly taking a breath, as I watch her in awe of how utterly brave she is with all she’s been through.
“Three days passed, still no word. We knew… we didn’t know how, or in what way, but they were gone. The phone call came and said they were on the ground trying to help people get away from the towers when they came down. They went out heroes, and I… was an orphan, just like that. God, I was so young, no seven year old should have to go through that.”
I reach out to take her hand. Something passes over me when I touch her—a warmth, a tingle, a buzz. My breath catches slightly, but I ignore it comforting her instead. “I’m so sorry, I don’t even know what to say.”
“There’s nothing you can say. They were amazing parents.”
“They raised an incredible daughter.”
“Thanks, but Gran had a part in that, too. She died when I was eighteen, and I had to grow up pretty quickly... been on my own ever since.”
“Well, you’re not on your own now. You have Nate, and me, we’re your family, okay?”
She smiles and nods looking in my eyes. My chest feels heavy as I stare at her. I want to desperately reach out and move the loose strand of hair behind her ear and caress her cheek, but that’s not what friends do.
“Thank you, for letting me get that out. That’s the first time I’ve told the story without crying.”
I squeeze her hand a little tighter. “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Alex. You’ve been through some pretty rough shit, way more than most people. It’s amazing you’re so well adjusted, to be honest.”
“I don’t think I’m that well-adjusted. I mean look at me, I have aqua hair and lip piercings.”
“I think that adds to your uniqueness and has nothing to do with how well you are adjusted. I can’t imagine you any other way.”
“Perfect the way I am, huh?”
“Yep, perfect as you are.”
She half-smiles finally breaking my gaze and looks down at her phone. “Should be good to go with Logan then?”
An unease settles in my chest, and I swallow hard. “Ah, yeah, he’d be a fool not to see the good in you.”
“Just gotta work on my trust issues,” she replies, and I nod.
“Yeah, totally get that. After what Kyle did to you there’s no doubt that you’ll have some reservations about having another man in your life. But Alex, we’re not all douches like Kyle. I promise.”
“It’s been so long and taken me three years to get to where I am. I’m not sure I’m willing to risk it all for another asshole.”
“Then test the waters, make sure Logan isn’t an asshole
, and if he is, cut him loose before it gets too far. Plus, I’m your wingman. He has to get my approval before things get full on anyway. I got you.”
“Okay, good to know you have my back.”
“Of course, just like you’ll tell me if Jaci is not right for me. We have to be each other’s sensible mind in this internet dating saga.”
She nods. “Okay, you have a deal. When one is getting in too deep with the wrong person, the other steps in and says something?”
“Exactly.”
She puts out her hand, and we both shake on it when my cell beeps. I check it and it’s Jaci.
“Speak of the devil,” I say.
Jacqueline: Man I’ve had a busy afternoon, but you’ve been on my mind for most of it. Hope you’ve had a good day?
I grin widely, and Alex chuckles as she nudges her shoulder into mine. “She makes you smile already, that’s a good sign.”
“Logan doesn’t make you smile?”
“Haven’t spoken to him enough to figure that out yet.”
“Okay, well, let’s go to the sofa and chat to them at the same time. We can ask them the same questions and see how they both answer.”
“This is so weird, but sure, why the hell not.”
We sit down on the gray sofa next to each other. With the fortune cookies in hand and our cell phones, we open up the Lovepessimist app.
“Okay, so let’s send them random questions and see what each of them writes back,” I say and Alex giggles but nods, as we open up the message section for Logan and Jaci.
“So what’s first? Something simple?” Alex asks.
“What about… what was your favorite childhood activity?”
Alex scoffs. “That’s a damn boring question. He’s gonna think I’m lame.” Alex giggles as she sends the question, and the sound is so cute I almost want to lean over and hug her for being so utterly adorable.