by K E Osborn
Alex isn’t the girl I’m after. Her look, while I find it fucking sexy as hell, is not the image I’ve imagined on my arm. Her personality while I love her, she’s all feisty and fiery, I want a placid girl, one who won’t fight me on everything. Alex is amazing, and as I look down at her I see the greatness in her, and I know that she’ll make someone very happy one day.
The firing pistol goes off breaking me from my thoughts as Alex squeezes my side and takes off. We stumble, as I was lost in my thoughts not concentrating on the start of the race.
“Damn Matt, where the hell are you. C’mon, pick it up,” Alex berates, trying to right our stance.
Throwing our joined legs out, I chuckle and then push myself into the motion of running. We’re behind at this point, and Alex has her game face on.
I move into competitor mode, all prior thoughts gone, and kick into gear. “Let’s go!” I say, almost picking her up, and start running. She giggles as we race forward, but we’re completely uncoordinated.
“Oh my God… we suck!” she screams as she crowd cheer us on, and we stumble down the lane at least five feet behind everyone else.
“Malex, Malex, Malex!” the crowd starts cheering, and I look up as Alex laughs and shakes her head.
“What the hell are they saying?” I call out, and she laughs looking up at me.
“They gave us a celebrity couple name, you know like Kimye or Brangelina.”
I burst out laughing still trying to run, but my laughter makes my balance falter, and Alex tips into my side a little further than I can hold. “Oh shit,” I yell out as my balance flounders completely and my body starts to tumble toward the ground, taking Alex with me. She squeals and I turn my body just in time for me to land hard on my back, causing Alex to fall directly on top of me with a thump. I gasp as our heads bang slightly, but I open my eyes to see Alex laying on top of me, holding her breath. Her eyes meet mine, and there it is—the warmth.
I know people are cheering, but I can’t hear them, it’s like all the sound has stopped around me and all I can hear is my heart thumping in my ears, pumping so fast as the blood rushes through my veins. My skin prickles in goosebumps while I stare into her eyes, and she looks back at me, licking her lips slightly, our foreheads only inches apart from each other. Our bodies connected in every way. I swallow hard trying to figure out what’s happening right now.
My body is so warm, hot even. I’m burning up, and staring at Alex isn’t helping. Her cheeks flush as she lets out a gasp, and I realize I was holding my breath too. I bring my hand up to wipe a stray hair away that’s fallen over her face, and she smiles down at me.
“You two are so freaking cute. I think I can forgive you for losing. Now did you hurt yourselves?” Moira asks, breaking the moment as I shift my gaze from Alex and look beyond her to Moira who’s standing next to us.
Alex clears her throat and subtly slides off my body to the ground beside me, and I try hard to keep my thoughts straight.
“I’m good, might have a bruise on my head from doodle bug’s headbanging, though,” I tease, and Alex scoffs and pinches my arm.
“Well, if someone wasn’t distracted we totally could have made a comeback. I want a trade in. My partner totally sucks. Augie, I’m with you next round, okay?” she calls out to the Sideshow Bob looking guy.
Laughing, I lean down to untie the knot around our ankles, as Augie chuckles and nods to Alex like he’s totally in awe of her. Pretty much the same as everyone else does around here.
“Thanks for having me here tonight, Moira. I really appreciate you letting me come and participate in everything,” I tell her while finally removing the ropes from around our ankles and popping them into my pocket.
She smiles as I go to stand up, and I hold out my hand for Alex to take. She does and stands up next to me dusting off her ass.
“No, thank you, Matt. We were worried we wouldn’t have a celebrity here with Zaria canceling last minute, but you’ve stepped up to the plate so well. Participating in all the activities wasn’t a necessity, but Alex said you’d be up for the challenge and you’ve done all of them without a fuss and with great humor. So for that, I thank you. You’ve made tonight really special for the women here.”
“My pleasure, and if you don’t mind I’d like to make an announcement if I can?” I ask.
Alex and Moira both look at me raising their eyebrows. Moira nods and heads toward the microphone while Alex glares at me like she’s worried I’m going to do something stupid.
But I’m not. I know what I’m doing.
Moira takes to the stand and taps the mic. Everyone turns and looks at her, hushing down as they focus their attention. “I just want to thank you all again for coming out tonight. It’s been a huge success, and it’s been colossal fun with our celebrity guest, Matthew Levine from Recoil. Who would like to say a few words. So welcome to the stand, Matt, everyone.”
The crowd cheers and I wink at Alex, who looks suddenly very nervous, as I walk to the stage and clear my throat. “Hi, guys! First of all, a big thank you to Moira for throwing such an epic shindig. This Fundraiser is awesome, and I can’t imagine having a better Saturday night. Rosalie House, from what I have seen and heard about so far, it’s truly a remarkable place. The women here now and from the past are strong, brave, and some of the most beautiful people inside and out that I’ve ever met.”
I look to Alex as I say that and she chews on her bottom lip crossing her arms over her chest like she’s trying to support herself.
“The issues you’ve all overcome, or are trying to overcome, are hard. It’s tough. It’s, well… for the want of better wording… fucking shit. Pardon my French.” The room fills with soft laughter. “But I know that with the help of Moira and Rosalie House you can do anything you put your minds to. The strength you find in each other will hold you together, but the strength you find in yourself is the most powerful of all. But, of course, places like this need all the help they can get, right?”
There is a collective, “Yes,” from the audience.
“That’s why they have fundraisers like tonight. I hope you all put your wallets on the line and continue to do so because whatever the fundraiser brings in at the end of the night, I will personally match dollar for dollar. So if you guys donate a thousand, I’ll donate a thousand, you see where I’m going with this?”
The crowd gasps and I look to Alex whose mouth drops open, and her eyes blink rapidly as they mist up. Moira wraps her arms around her, and Alex weakly smiles as I nod to her. I know full well the fundraiser has already raised nearly ten thousand tonight, and I’m a man of my word. I will match it dollar for dollar. This place is amazing, and it has given me Alex. So I’m willing to help because it helped her. Plus, I’ve always wanted to help a good charity and why not start here?
“I’ll do it, too!” a man wearing a suit calls out from the crowd. “I’m from the local Brand Outlet Super Store, and we will donate dollar for dollar, too. Plus, throw in vouchers for the mall so you can fit out the House with a fresh range of clothing.”
Moira bursts out into tears, and I look to the guy and nod. Moira moves up to the microphone while shaking her head and wiping her face. She leans in hugging me tightly, and I embrace her back as I glance past her looking down at Alex who’s wiping away a fat tear that’s rolling down her cheek.
“Thank you, Matt, thank you so much. You have no idea what you’ve just done.” She leans in kissing my cheek, and I smile as I walk off the stage while Moira goes about thanking all the sponsors and guests one last time.
Alex shakes her head as I walk up to her and she lunges on me, taking me into an all-powerful embrace.
Warmth.
“Matt, I don’t even…”
“You’re welcome.” I sway her from side to side in our embrace. Alex’s head turns, and suddenly her lips are on my cheek kissing me. Her lips are warm and soft, and for the briefest of seconds, I think about turning my head. But I swallow the thought down and instead
relish in the friendship we have.
She is a friend.
A good friend.
Quite possibly my best friend, besides my brother.
Of course, I have Danger and Ryan, but their friendship is more about each other.
No, Alex and I can’t go there. I have to remember my list, my rules, and Alex breaks most of them.
She’s not the girl for me.
“Malex, come by the fire pit. We’re gonna do the music circle,” a woman calls out, and I chuckle into Alex’s ear and pull back looking into her eyes.
“Malex, huh?”
She wipes away another tear. “Has a cool ring to it, don’t ya think?”
“Yeah, like an unbeatable superhero team,” I reply, and she nods.
“Fuckin’ yeah! So, mister music man, you gonna show these guys how to rock n roll?” she asks grabbing my hand and leading me over to the fire pit.
I raise my brow and scratch the top of my head. “Well, honestly, I can’t sing that well and I play bass, so it’s not like I can do much in a group setting. I’m more the background kinda guy,” I admit, and Alex rolls her eyes.
“You don’t seem like you belong in the background to me, Matt.” She pulls my hand, and we walk to the pit taking a seat on some crates. The heat from the fire radiates with intensity, but the night is crisp so it’s a welcomed burn. As I get comfortable, a man comes up to me with an acoustic bass guitar. He looks to me as he hands it over like he’s unsure of how I will take the offering, but I give him a nod taking it from him. It’s an Ibanez, and it takes me back to my childhood when I used to learn on one of these, rather than the electric I play now.
A woman sits down next to me with a white plastic container, and she turns it upside down and pulls out a pair of drumsticks from her back pocket. I realize we’re about to have an impromptu jamming session, as another woman comes out with an acoustic Fender. I sink into the crate feeling I’m more at home here than I ever thought before. Alex sits down opposite me, the flames of the fire pit in between us, but I can see her perfectly clear between the flickering flames.
“Hey, I’m Dzintra… so we always finish these nights off with a round of music. Generally Augie plays bass, but he’s willing to let a real musician play tonight,” the drummer girl states and I look to Augie and furrow my brows.
“Oh shit! I don’t wanna take your position, Augie. Please, you play, I’ll watch.” I lift the bass toward him in offering.
“Oh God no, I hardly know what I’m doing. I just strum and make shit up as I go. If you actually know what you’re doing, I’d rather the music be really great tonight than just average with me playing. Please, let us all be spoiled by a rocker rocking out for us,” he says.
I glance to Alex and she nods, so I pull the bass back to me and adjust the frets to how I like them.
“Do you know many Ed Sheeran songs, Matt?” Dzintra asks, and I glance to Alex with a smirk.
Did Alex know that’s what they’d be wanting to play tonight, and that’s why she was listening to him before we left to come here?
“Yeah, I know quite a few. When we tour, we do a few covers throughout our concerts, and Ed’s songs always are on our list. We actually met him when we were a backup band back in the UK for the band Slayed. Ed’s a top guy,” I reply, and she nods and looks to Alex.
“Okay, well, so you know his song Kiss Me?” she asks.
I give a brief nod trying to remember it. It came out a while back, but the tune is slow and rhythmic, and the lyrics are beautiful from what I remember.
“We’ll start with that. Then maybe we can play a Recoil song afterward?”
Chuckling, I nod. “Sure. I’m not much of a singer, though,” I tell them.
“All good, we got that part covered,” Dzintra informs me and bangs her sticks together counting us in.
I bring the bass guitar in line getting ready to pluck at the strings. Playing the bass is something that feels natural to me. Music’s in my blood. It gives me life, fills my veins with purpose. Being in Recoil isn’t just a job for me, it’s not just a dream, it’s everything! Some might say you don’t need talent to be a bassist, sure it’s only four strings on a guitar, but feeling the bass line of a song and giving it the depth and soul that it needs—all of that breathes life into music. Without bass, without the heartbeat of a song, music would be flat, void of emotion. So sure, it might not seem as difficult as a six string, but it’s just as important. In my eyes anyway.
Dzintra starts playing her beat onto the makeshift drum, as I pluck the bass line on the Ibanez. The guitarist plays the intro to the tune, and the song starts to take form. My head bops along feeling my fingers getting lost in the melody. My eyes close, as they tend to when acoustic music takes hold of me. I deal with live rock most of the time, so hearing rhythmic acoustic always sends me off into a peaceful calm.
The lyrics for the first verse are about to start, my eyes are still closed taking in the sounds of the instruments, when a husky, sensual, yet familiar voice starts singing. It knocks me. The voice is so beautiful, and I’m awed so deeply that I almost stop playing. My eyes flick open to see the singing is coming from none other than Alex. I struggle to continue to play through the verse, while she sings the lyrics and I gasp slightly looking at her through the flickering flames of the fire pit. I had no idea, none at all, that she could sing. Her voice is incredible. Alex could absolutely be selling records with a voice like that. She kind of reminds me of Effa from Luminous with that husky sound. She’s amazing, and as she continues into the chorus singing in a falsetto, it completely knocks the wind from my lungs as a couple of women join in as back up.
I’m completely awed by her performance.
I had no idea… absolutely none.
She’s even more amazing than I thought she was.
It goes from the chorus into a guitar solo, and she stops singing and looks right at me. Our eyes lock, and it’s like the warmth of the fire burns and scorches right into my very soul. Or is it just the warmth I feel whenever I’m around Alex seeping through me tenfold? The intensity in her gaze is sending a shudder down my spine, as I try my hardest to remember to keep playing my bass. My fingers strum away at the strings as if I were gliding them along the sensitive skin of a beautiful woman.
Staring at Alex with the music flowing through me is like a kind of euphoria. She’s so stunningly beautiful, and the way she’s watching me like she’s wondering what I’m thinking right now has me wondering… what the fuck am I thinking? I don’t even know.
I’m in a state of awe, I think. Alex astounds me the more and more I find out about her, and every new detail makes me want to discover something else. I never want to stop learning new things about her.
Alex half-smiles at me as the guitar solo starts to wrap up, and the bridge comes back in. Her mouth opens, and that voice appears again, belting out the lyrics about love, lust, and truth, and all I can do is to breathe a little faster while watching her as her body moves with the rhythm of the song.
Tonight couldn’t have gone any more perfect, and being here with Alex makes me realize just how good I have it. Sure, I might not have a woman on my arm, but every other aspect of my life is pretty fucking awesome. I’m in one of the world’s biggest rock bands. I have a great home, a supportive friend base—sure my brother isn’t doing so great on the love front, but on a work front he has the band and his gallery which is going great—so things are on the up and up. Being here has shown me that I really have it good in comparison to others, and I need to remember that on my down days.
Alex finishes up the final chorus, and the song draws to a close.
Warmth.
I like this feeling.
Alex having a musical background as well as everything else surprises me, but it only enthralls me more. It makes me want to drop the bass and race over to her. I have so many questions, but I can’t think of any right now if that makes damn sense. My mind’s a jumble as the song finishes, and everyone eru
pts into a round of applause while I sit here simply smiling and shaking my head. Alex chews on her bottom lip looking at me like she’s awaiting my approval. Bringing my hands together, I clap along with everyone else as she lets out a small giggle and tilts her head in acknowledgment.
“You’re so much better than me, Matt,” Augie says, and I avert my eyes from Alex and chuckle.
“Practice makes perfect as they say, I guess. But I’m more than happy to give you some pointers… if you want?”
Augie smiles wide. “Shit really?”
“Of course!”
“Well, after we play a Recoil song… which can’t be any other than I’ll Take Your Breath Away. That’s the most current, and the one everyone knows at the moment… if you’re not sick of it, of course, Matt?” Dzintra asks, and I nod looking to Alex. It’s a beautiful song, of course, it reminds me of my brother and Zaria, but the lyrics are still so meaningful I’d love to hear Alex’s spin on it.
“For sure, I can rock out all night,” I say, and everyone chuckles as she counts us in with her sticks again and we start jamming. Alex’s velvety voice rings through the silver lit night, and I love that she can sing this song almost as good as Danger, turning it from a rock tune into an acoustic ballad. It’s a great spin on it, and to be honest, Danger needs to hear it sung this way. We need to do a version like this, and release it, even if it is just as a promo piece.
Alex has some great ideas musically, and she could be an awesome asset to us.
I didn’t see this coming.
Not at all.
I internally hum the words like I do as if I were at one of our own shows, and as the song draws to a close, I look to Alex and smile. She sings the last few words and everyone claps again, as I strum the final chords and hand the bass to Augie.
“Alex, get a drink with me?” I ask.
Her smile falters. She takes a deep breath, nods, and we both stand up. She steps around the pit as the music starts up again, and they continue on with someone else singing who’s nowhere near as perfect as her and with Augie playing the bass.