Super Loud Sam vs Birdman
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Also by Jo Simmons
SUper Loud Sam
Pip Street: The Great Kitty Kidnap
Pip Street: The Crazy Crumpet Kerfuffle
Pip Street: The Pesky Pig Panic
Pip Street: The Big Brother Bother
Contents
Cover
Also by Jo Simmons
Dedication
Chapter 1: Peck Up a Picnic
Chapter 2: Birds Behaving Badly
Chapter 3: Tuning in to Talking Topside
Chapter 4: Expert Alert!
Chapter 5: Sam and Nina Try Some Spying
Chapter 6: Bird World
Chapter 7: The Purpose of Pigeons
Chapter 8: Through the Bedroom Window
Chapter 9: When Fun Runs Go Un-Fun
Chapter 10: After The Attack
Chapter 11: Panic on the Streets of Topside
Chapter 12: A Persistent Pigeon
Chapter 13: Running Reports
Chapter 14: Sam’s Shouting Shame
Chapter 15: Look Who It Is!
Chapter 16: News Just In
Chapter 17: The Search for Britain’s Richest Man
Chapter 18: A Discovery at the Warehouse
Chapter 19: Look Up!
Chapter 20: A Villain Wings In
Chapter 21: Birds Go Bad
Chapter 22: Pigeon Pandemonium at the Park
Chapter 23: Sam Takes the Ride of His Life
Chapter 24: Now Say Sorry
Chapter 25: A Night to Remember
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Have You Read the Pip Street Books by Jo Simmons?
Chapter 1: A Street Called Pip
Chapter 2: Here’s Bobby Cobbler
Copyright
Chapter 1
Peck Up a Picnic
“Yuck!” yelled Sam.
Sam’s friend Nina flinched at the noise. She couldn’t help it. Sam Lowe was just so loud: a dinky little dude with a massive voice. People used to find Sam’s voice annoying, until he showed them how awesome it was. It could be heard ten streets away (who needs a mobile?). It could form a sonic shock wave and blast objects out of the way. It could make grown men spill tea down their fronts in surprise. See? Awesome.
It was more than a voice, it was a power: a superpower! Because Sam Lowe was also Super Loud (with capital letters, thank you very much), the hero who just a few weeks ago had defeated his dangerous, noise-hating teacher Mrs Sandy Mann, and saved the children of Topside from a life filled with no fun.
For the moment, though, Sam was just being Sam, enjoying the summer holidays with his best friend Nina. Right now they were having a picnic in Topside Park.
“Bluurrgghh! i hate woolly pears!” Sam blasted. He spat out a mouthful of fluffy fruit.
“Woolly pears, nature’s cares,” said Nina. Nina had a habit of speaking in weird Zen-master riddles. Sam mostly ignored it. “What else don’t you like?” Nina asked.
“Woolly pants,” said Sam. “Too itchy!”
Nina giggled quietly. “I really love knitting,” she said, “but even I would never knit a pair of woolly pants.” In fact, as Nina spoke, she was knitting an extension to the woolly rug the children were sitting on. Somehow she was nibbling a cheese sandwich at the same time.
“Too-tight pants,” said Sam. “Broccoli, obviously. And I don’t like brushing my teeth if I have my coat on, either. It feels really…” He trailed off as something had caught his eye.
“Weird,” he said, pointing over Nina’s shoulder.
There were some pigeons on the grass. Nothing odd about that, you might think. Parks are full of pigeons. Towns are full of pigeons. The whole country is full of pigeons.
Only, these particular pigeons were standing in a neat row, staring sternly at Sam and Nina. They didn’t move. They just stared. When did you ever see pigeons do that?
Then, suddenly, they took off, flew high in the air, gathered speed and height, turned and…
“Flipping flip heck!” roared Sam. “They’re coming straight for us! Run!”
Sam and Nina scrambled to their feet and scattered as the line of birds dived, like a squadron of fighter planes, at their picnic.
They swooped over the cheese sandwiches and crisps and chocolate fingers and pears, scooped them up in their claws – and then dropped them like bombs.
Again and again, the pigeons dived, swooped, grabbed and dropped. Sam and Nina watched, wide-eyed, from behind a tree.
“Hey!” bawled Sam in his massive voice.
“Leave off our sarnies!”
Lummy! That shout was loud, but the picnic-pilfering pigeons ignored Sam’s exceptional outburst. Were they deaf? Or just really tough? Impossible to say.
Finally, the bad-news birds flew off and the children returned to their picnic. What a mess! It was destroyed: food scattered everywhere, Nina’s knitted rug ripped and shredded.
“I thought pigeons were meant to be thick, but these guys seemed to know exactly what they were doing,” said Sam, surveying the scene.
“Actually,” said Nina, “pigeons are quite bright. They can recognize their reflection in a mirror, and even learn to play ping-pong.”
“This wasn’t exactly ping-pong, though, was it?” said Sam. “They deliberately wrecked our picnic.”
The children gathered up the remains of their meal and blanket and dumped it all in the bin.
“Ooof!” exploded Sam as they were walking away.
Something had hit him on the head. Something soft and damp. He looked up to see one of the pigeons that had demolished the picnic flying off. Then Sam looked down to see what had struck him. There, lying on the grass a little way off, were the remains of the woolly pear!
“Yuck again!” shouted Sam.
Nina looked serious. “When fruit is falling,” she said, “dark days are calling.”
“If you say so,” Sam shrugged. “Let’s go home before I get hit by something nastier than fruit.”
Chapter 2
Birds Behaving Badly
Over the next few days, Sam and Nina noticed several other peculiar pigeon events. They saw three pigeons stealing sun hats from a group of old folks who were snoozing in deckchairs in Topside Park. That’s no way to treat senior citizens, is it? Another time, Sam and Nina spotted pigeons picking up bits of litter – mushy chips, banana skins, empty drinks cartons – and dropping them on people walking along the street below. Sam yelled in his toppest of topmost voices, but that only scared the people half out of their skins, while the pigeons just looked at Sam as if to say, “Really?”
On top of these mean misdeeds, pigeons were up to all kinds of clever stuff, too. One afternoon Sam and Nina were walking to meet Sam’s mum, Jen, where she worked at a local hairdressers, Prime Cuts. Suddenly, Sam let out a huge shout. “A pigeon juggling!” he boomed. “Over there!”
“What with?” asked Nina.
“I dunno, peas or something,” said Sam.
“Peas?” said Nina. “Where’s he going to find peas? Peas don’t grow on trees, you know.”
“What do they grow on?” asked Sam.
“They grow underground, I think,” said Nina.
“No, you’re thinking of peanuts,” said Sam. “Anyway, I know what I saw. A pigeon juggling! What is it with pigeons at the moment?”
Sam told his mum what he had seen as they all walked home.
“What’s a pigeon going to juggle with?” she also asked.
“I don’t know!” exploded Sam. “But I know what I saw.”
“He said it was peas,” whispered Nina.
“A pigeon juggling peas?” Sam’s mum laughed. “Garden peas or petits pois?”
Nina giggled, but Sam had the last laugh when the three of th
em sat down after dinner to watch Talking Topside, the local news programme…
Chapter 3
Tuning In to Talking Topside
It was six-thirty p.m., and Talking Topside had just begun. There was a picture of a pigeon behind the newsreader, Martin Streaky.
“Topside’s pigeons are behaving out of character,” he said. “Town residents have sighted them performing a flock of naughty acts, causing widespread distress. Here’s Tess Trotter with the birdie briefing…”
“It’s Topside Park!” shouted Sam, pointing at the TV. The camera panned around the park, then went up close on a group of pigeons pecking the ground.
“It’s a familiar scene,” said the reporter. “Pigeons enjoying a snack of cake crumbs at the local park café. In fact, it’s so familiar that most of us hardly notice pigeons from one day to the next. But all that looks set to change. Pigeons, it seems, are getting smarter! A number of eyewitness accounts report pigeons boxing, doing somersaults and even juggling!”
“Told you!” exploded Sam, rattling the windows with his mighty shout.
“Sshhh,” said Nina, “there’s more.”
“Unfortunately, the birds are not content to stop there. They are also causing havoc across the town with their anti-social behaviour,” Tess Trotter went on. She turned to a group of young mothers, each holding a squirming toddler.
“We were sitting on rugs, with lots of bricks and toys laid out,” said one of the mothers, “when about twenty pigeons flew down and chased us away. Then they kicked over the bricks, which really upset all the children.”
“Can you describe the pigeons to me?” asked Tess Trotter.
“Grey feathers, two wings, small eyes, a beak,” said the mother. “Actually, they looked bigger than ordinary pigeons. They were definitely scarier.”
“How did you feel when the pigeons attacked?” asked the reporter.
“The children were crying and screaming,” said the mother. “We were very frightened.”
Right on cue, one toddler started wailing, then another and another, as if reliving the scary event.
Tess Trotter turned to face the camera, the mums and crying tots behind her. Sam spotted a man carrying a big backpack at the edge of the group. He paused to watch the filming, cocking his head slightly to one side as he did so.
“Keep your eyes peeled for more pigeon peculiarities,” said Tess Trotter, having to shout over the noise of wailing infants. “You can email the show or tweet us using the hashtag #pigeonfancythat. We will be running a regular Pigeon Post feature in the news every night and reporting your stories of pigeon activity. This is Tess Trotter, at the park, with some noisy babies, for Talking Topside. Back to you in the studio, Martin.”
Chapter 4
Expert Alert!
“I can’t believe it!” said Sam’s mum once the news report from the park had finished.
“I know, pigeons hassling innocent little kids,” said Sam.
“No!” said Sam’s mum. “I can’t believe I cut that woman’s hair just the other day. Didn’t realize she worked on the local news.”
On the TV, Martin Streaky was now talking to bird expert Phil Noddy. “Phil, you are a bird expert and know about birds. Can you explain this strange, aggressive pigeon behaviour?” he asked.
“To be honest, Martin, it’s all very odd,” said Phil Noddy, frowning. “I have never come across this kind of behaviour before, certainly not in pigeons.”
“The mother in the park there said the birds seemed bigger than normal pigeons,” said Martin Streaky.
“That’s right,” said Phil Noddy. “I have studied a photo that one of the mums took of these pigeons and they look at least a third bigger, with really quite powerful wings, tough beaks and strong feet.”
“Should we be worried?” asked Martin Streaky.
“Possibly,” said Phil Noddy. “Topside alone has a huge pigeon population. If every pigeon in the town grew this big and began to act aggressively, we could have a major problem. If this bird behaviour spread beyond Topside, I’m not sure how we could cope. Think about the massive number of pigeons currently living throughout the UK! If they all started attacking, they could turn our towns and cities into no-go zones.”
“That’s a worrying thought,” said Martin Streaky.
“Yes it is,” said Phil Noddy.
Sam frowned. The worrying thought was indeed worrying, and Sam felt worried. And full of questions, too. Why would pigeons suddenly be bigger? And what was prompting them to act smarter but also meaner?
Nina obviously felt the same. She had that Zen-master faraway look in her eye. “When cats bark at dogs, the moon shall jump over the sun,” she muttered.
Sam frowned but, for once, he kind of knew what she meant.
Chapter 5
Sam And Nina Try Some Spying
Tales of pigeon weirdness spread through Topside like marge on hot toast. Everyone was talking about pigeons and swapping stories about their behaviour. Pigeons had been spotted lifting weights in the park (the weights were AA batteries, but anyway). One pigeon had taken to hiding behind trees and jumping out on sniffing dogs – a pug had needed treatment at the vet’s for shock. Another pigeon had flown into someone’s kitchen, popped open the fridge and helped itself to a yoghurt.
“Have you noticed something?” Sam said as they watched the Pigeon Post reports on Talking Topside one evening. “Him!” Sam pointed to the screen as a man with a large backpack appeared in the background, just briefly. He glanced at the camera, cocked his head, and then walked off with strange, strutting steps. “He is always there when they are filming the pigeons or talking to people about them,” said Sam.
Nina broke off from knitting her latest project – a set of soup bowls. “Perhaps he just wants to be famous?” she said.
Sam had been famous after he had defeated his evil teacher, Mrs Mann, and it had been nice to have the attention. For a while, at least. But then he was happy for things to go back to normal. In fact, Sam had no idea when he might use his powers again, or whether he even should. His mentor, Bryce Canyon, the coolest speech therapist ever, had disappeared. Without Bryce to check in with, Sam wasn’t sure how super he should be.
Sam flicked off the TV and offered to walk Nina home. It was a lovely summer evening, and as the pair started out for Nina’s house in the next street, they spotted a Talking Topside TV van and rushed after it, eager to find out what pigeon shenanigans it was off to film now.
By the time the children caught up with the van near the train station, Tess Trotter the reporter had finished presenting and was climbing back inside.
“Hey, my mum cut your hair!” shouted Sam, extremely loudly. Tess Trotter smiled tightly at him and the van drove off.
“That’s gratitude for you,” grumbled Nina, but Sam was staring into the distance. He had spotted him again: the backpack man, strutting off after watching the filming, his head bobbing back and forth with each step.
“Come on,” said Sam, as quietly as he could manage. “Let’s follow him.”
So a cat-and-mouse following situation began, with Sam and Nina pursuing the man, crouching behind cars and ducking behind walls whenever he turned round. After a few minutes, they arrived at wasteland near the railway lines and saw the man disappear into an old warehouse.
“Should we go in?” whispered Nina after they had watched for a bit.
“No, look,” said Sam. “He’s coming out.” The man strutted off in the opposite direction. Once they were sure he had gone, the children crept up to the warehouse. The doors were padlocked but Sam found a small window on one side. He opened his mouth and sent out a shock wave of sound: a big rippling tidal wave of noise created deep in his chest. BOOM! It easily popped the window out of its frame. Nina then quickly knitted a rope that she threw into the window, and the children climbed through.
Once inside, it took the children a few moments to adjust to the dim light, but they could hear movement all around. Cooing. Wings flap
ping. The trip-trap of little pink feet. Sam shuddered as he sensed hundreds of tiny eyes peering down at him. It could only mean one thing…
Chapter 6
Bird World
“Pigeons!” Sam roared. “This place is full of pigeons!”
Correct. There were pigeons everywhere. Imagine a warehouse full of pigeons, then double the number of pigeons and get them to invite their friends over. That’s how many. They were sitting on the rafters, on the floor and on rows and rows of stands, like fences or barriers, which looked specially designed for perching on. And they were big, too: bigger and tougher than your typical pigeon.
Suddenly, amid all the cooing and feathery fidgeting, the children heard a laugh. From above! They looked up. The man! Still wearing his backpack! He was above them, perched on one of the roof beams. How the heck did he get up there?
“Coo-coo-coo-cool to see you, children,” he said, before dropping down in front of them. “I was wondering when you would show up, Sam.”
“You know my name!” Sam spluttered.
“Of coo-coo-course. I read in the local paper how you defeated your noise-hating teacher with your voice,” said the man, cocking his head and blinking at Sam. “Exceptional humans and animals fascinate me.”
The man strutted off slowly through the warehouse. Thousands of beady pigeon eyes watched him.
“Coo-coo-coo-could you come over here, children?” he said. “I will open your minds to the truth about pigeons!”
The man pushed open a door and revealed a brightly lit room divided into different areas. The pigeons seemed to get excited and began circling above.
“This is a pigeon playground!” said the man. “Come my friends, fly down and p-p-p-peck, party and play!”
The birds swooped down and flew inside, the wind from their wingbeats making Sam’s floppy blond hair blow about. They landed and began all sorts of activities. There was a games area, where some played ping-pong while others kicked a football the size of a walnut around. Over in the art gallery, pigeons strolled quietly between the paintings, cocking their heads to squint at the pictures of trees and meadows.