by Barbara Else
~
Commander Gree’sle’s voice roared out. “What’s that noise – what’s that boy doing? How dare he blow his nose on royal flag! Bring that boy here!”
A soldier dragged Hodie to the front of the crowd, threw him to his knees and shoved his head down. The ground smelled damp. Ugly animals, big and small, shrieked and squealed as if they applauded. Commander Gree’sle’s Um’Binnian military boots stood right in front of him. Behind them Hodie saw the metal wheels of Prowdd’on’s carriage.
“Show me his face!” shouted Gree’sle.
Hodie was yanked up again by military hands. The children clustered behind the carriage. Some looked pleased to see someone else in trouble. Others looked worried. One boy did a secret thumbs-up to show he was delighted to see someone brave enough to wipe snot on the Emperor’s flag.
Also, there was his mother, eyes wide with shock. Lu’nedda had a grip on Allana’s arm. And there was Murgott, and there Sibilla – thank goodness, still with her cap on. The squirrel’s tail stuck out under her cloak.
A Zoo official had begun to close the curtains of the dragon-eagle’s cage.
Prowdd’on stood in the carriage and glowered at Hodie. “How dare …” He reared back and roared with laughter. “Boy from back yard of little Grand Palace! Boy who had nerve to say Emperor had done wrong! Did you come after bag of tricks, boy? You won’t find bag here. It was stolen from me.”
Hodie clenched his teeth to stop from shouting, You can’t have something stolen from you when you stole it from somebody else in the first place!
Prowdd’on smiled at the school children. “How should I punish half-Fontanian brat?”
The children looked scared.
“I haven’t done anything,” Hodie said. “I came here by accident.”
“No excuse!” Gree’sle declared.
“Sir!” Hodie looked Prowdd’on right in the eye. “A good leader finds out every side of a situation before he decides what’s right and wrong.”
The children blinked in surprise. The boy who’d done the thumbs-up did another with both hands.
Gree’sle’s thin moustache quirked up. “Emperor has biggest heart and mind in all Um’Binnia. He knows what is right and wrong.”
The Emperor smiled. “It is right or wrong if I say so. I say boy will join crew who tend Ocean Toads.”
There were gasps, screams and urgent shush-shushings. Over by the dark alley, Hodie saw Dardy and the ogre. Dardy started to cry out, but the ogre slung an arm round Dardy’s neck, hand over his mouth, and tried to haul him out of sight. Dardy struggled free and Gree’sle turned.
“Sire, look!” Gree’sle shouted. “Wretched servant is still alive!”
For a moment everything was quiet.
Then Prowdd’on roared and gestured. Soldiers dragged Dardy in front of the carriage. The Emperor smiled down at him, and the circles of the moustache crawled nearer his ears.
“I was just talking about poisonous Toads. And here we have forgotten servant of Lady Allana, not already poisoned by my Toads and very long dead. Highly interesting. Gree’sle, move gathering to Imperial Hall. Bring me biggest audience in all Um’Binnia.”
~
26
how to behave well (or badly)
in the Grand Imperial Hall
of the Great Mountain City of the
Wonderful Country of Um’Binnia,
in front of the greatest
Emperor the world has ever known,
and not throw up
Hodie had no way of talking to Dardy. There was a lot of being marched through the city streets, with people staring. There was a lot of being shoved about in the Imperial Palace and into a room beside the Grand Hall. The guards laughed about putting handcuffs on a boy – what harm could a skinny boy do the soldiers of Um’Binnia? They put cuffs on Dardy, though.
Between two muscly guards with pistols, Hodie managed to peer though a half-open door into the Hall. Hundreds of Um’Binnians crowded in, important ones with solemn moustaches or imposing handbags. Imperial Um’Binnian guards stood round the walls, some with pikes, as if they were going to barbecue something huge. Some had swords, as if they expected to carve the barbecue. They all had holsters on their belts, with pistols in (and a dagger or two).
The guard nearest the throne banged his pike on the floor. At the far end of the huge hall, an enormous double door swung open. The crowd had to bunch up to make room, because in straggled the school children, teachers and parent helpers. In crowded an even bigger crowd of city folk. Some were very old. One of the parent helpers looked as if she was going to have a baby any day, but there were no chairs for anyone except the Emperor. The Imperial Throne was the biggest chair for one person Hodie had ever seen. The high back was twirls of gold. So were the arms. The purple cushion looked comfortable though.
Four troll guards led Hodie and Dardy in to face the Throne. The stale air here seemed bitter, like winds that had been caged for many years.
The trumpet sounded again, higher and longer, to show someone very grand was coming in. No need to guess who.
Prowdd’on had changed into another purple hat, a soft one with a brim like a gold coronet. He wore a purple shirt, purple trousers, gold boots and a golden waistcoat. Did he have purple and gold underwear? Hodie guessed yes. The imperial moustache had been waxed again, into spikes, and gilded, probably to look like a sunburst. It looked more like a self-conscious yellow sea anemone.
To reach the throne Prowdd’on had to walk up three golden steps. He smiled that crawly smile beneath the spikes of his moustache, sat down and sighed.
“Exhausting work,” Hodie muttered to Dardy. Dardy started to grin, and muffled a chuckle.
Commander Gree’sle offered Prowdd’on a golden flask. Prowdd’on admired himself in the mirror on its side, and took a sip. Gree’sle slid the flask back into his pocket.
Prowdd’on didn’t welcome anyone. He just began talking.
“Reporters are present, from all magazines and daily paper? Good. I work enormously hard for many years. I am tireless, night and day. I make Um’Binnia greatest city, greatest country, to have all biggest and best things from entire world.” He folded his hands and waited as if he expected to hear something.
“Thank you, Great Emperor Prowdd’on!” chorused the people.
There was a flurry from a side door. Princessa Lu’nedda strode in, stood before her father (in front of Hodie, actually – she had a row of square blue buttons all down her back) and spread her arms. “Papa! I am safely returned!”
“Not now,” the Emperor said.
“Papa, I save myself from rebel kidnappers! And also, for you, hidden safely in …”
“If you want to stay, be quiet,” Prowdd’on said.
Gree’sle narrowed his eyes.
The Princessa lowered her arms, and walked to stand near the throne. She’d turned red, a red you should be careful of, if you asked Hodie – you could probably call it rebel red. Allana trailed from the side room too, and stood near Lu’nedda, eyes down as if it was hard not to glance at Hodie. And there, behind Allana, were Murgott and Sibilla.
Murgott eyed Hodie, a warning not to give the little Queen away. Sibilla gaped at the throne with her best pesty-boy expression. As an actor she was excellent, that was for sure.
“Now,” said Prowdd’on. “I have one dragon-eagle. I must have Fontanian treasures too. Dardy, Fontanian servant, now Toad-keeper – you had two years to tell me about Ties, but you said nothing. Finally I found them. Then they were stolen. Where are they now?”
Dardy stared dead ahead and said nothing.
Hodie glanced at Sibilla, who looked truly confused. Her own father and grandfather had been hunting The Ties for years. The King’s fiancée, Lady Beatrix, had joined the hunt too. Hodie felt sick – if Sibilla realised Prowdd’on was talking about the bag
of stuff from Hodie’s lean-to, she might give herself away.
The Emperor turned to Hodie. “Boy?”
Hodie used a voice he knew would be annoying. “Don’t know about treasure. I only ever had ten dolleros and I lost ’em.”
Prowdd’on rolled his eyes. “Treasures of Fontania. Missing Ties. You had them in unpleasant little hut. Then I had them. Then thief stole Ties from me. I will have Ties again.”
Sibilla had stiffened. Murgott put a hand on her shoulder. Hodie blinked at the Emperor, trying to look young and useless.
Prowdd’on spoke again. “There is also map that shows dragon-eagle nest. It is map of fine silver. Where is that?”
Hodie shifted his weight to the other foot, still playing stupid, but in fact he’d never heard about this treasure. “You don’t need a map. The dragon-eagles live in the Eastern Isle.”
Prowdd’on’s smile hardened. “Don’t tell me what Prowdd’on need! The map shows where dragon-eagle lays egg – great golden egg, out of which hatches new dragon-eagle.”
Sibilla wrinkled her nose as if the Emperor talked utter nonsense. Hodie shrugged and ducked his head.
“Don’t shrug at Emperor!” Gree’sle roared. “You are Um’Binnian! The Great Prowdd’on is your Emperor!”
Hodie’s head came up. “I’m half-Um’Binnian,” he said. “So he’s partial Emperor.” He ducked his head again.
The Emperor gripped the arms of the golden throne. “Odd-job boy, do you know who stole Ties from me!”
Hodie didn’t feel like giving Lu’nedda away. He blinked at her to let her know he wouldn’t, and tried to look more puzzled, more and more stupid. And actually it was all pretty stupid. If magic was real, it should be able to defend itself. So, if it was real, it wasn’t much good. If Hodie had the chance to choose between ten dolleros or a pouch of old pebbles and a bashed-up cup, he’d take the dolleros and run.
Sibilla took a step forward, clutching the bag that held Jasper’s bird. Murgott put both hands on her shoulders and drew her back.
Prowdd’on had turned his attention from Hodie now, and was glaring at Dardy. “You and that woman!” he roared. “Ties were right under my nose in this great city. Lady Allana, you let your servant smuggle them away. It is time for punishment.”
The important Um’Binnians gave a smattering of applause.
Hodie glanced at Dardy and saw his breathing falter. But Allana stepped out and bowed a little to the Emperor.
“The Ties were not mine to give to you then, and I don’t have them now. I do know that without them the dragon-eagles cannot live. Your city runs on science, but hearts need magic. Without The Ties, there will be no more children who grow up and discover they have a link with magic and all things of the natural world.”
Allana’s face was fiery, as if she longed to punch Prowdd’on. “While there is still a chance that my boy, and all children, will live in a better world than this one of yours, I will not even tell you how to tie your shoe.”
Hodie’s little mother also threw a defiant glance at the Princessa. Lu’nedda shifted and seemed uncomfortable. Queen Sibilla’s cap looked very unsteady, but she was gazing at Allana now as if she realised Of course, she’s that Lady Allana! Oh, I understand it all now!
“One last time,” said Prowdd’on. “Lady Allana, Allana’s brat – speak up.”
Hodie’s heart thrummed in his throat. Sibilla’s hands gripped her bag, pulling around the shape of the bird inside.
“Speak!” repeated Prowdd’on. “Or you and your brat shall both go to Ocean Toads and lingering death.”
A little cry escaped Allana, another from Dardy. A curl burst out from beneath Sibilla’s cap. Murgott had his hands tight on her shoulders.
“In that case, good riddance to bad rubbish.” The Emperor signalled. “Take them to Industrial Toad Ponds!”
“No!” cried Allana.
Princessa Lu’nedda put an arm around her. “Father, wait!”
“No more from you, daughter,” Prowdd’on roared. “Guards, escort Princessa to her apartment!”
Guards began to hustle towards the Princessa. All Lu’nedda had to do was say she had the bag, and it would be over. Hodie had to get in first, to try and delay.
“Let Hodie go!” Dardy cried. “He’s just a boy! He’s nobody!”
“I am someone!” yelled Hodie. “I know where to find the bag!”
The Grand Imperial Hall filled with gasps and cries from the crowd.
“Shut up!” roared Gree’sle.
The noise stopped. Lu’nedda looked very like Ogg’ward again, and strangely interested (though very wary) about what Hodie would say next. He heard Prowdd’on breathing – it sounded as if he ought to say excuse me and use his hanky.
“What was that?” Prowdd’on asked Hodie.
Hodie stood as straight as his mother had done. “I know where the bag is.”
“No!” his mother said.
Hodie raised his chin and looked at Prowdd’on. “I will tell you. But first, promise to let my mother and her servant Dardy leave Um’Binnia …”
He glanced at Sibilla. Her eyes glimmered with tears. He hoped she understood he was trying to help her escape. He gave the Queen and his mother a tiny smile, and looked back at the Emperor. “Let them leave the city with the two people who came here with me, especially the other boy.” He glanced briefly again at Sibilla and Murgott.
Commander Gree’sle spoke. “You ask the Great Emperor to make you, a boy, an imperial promise?”
“Yes. He has to promise!” Hodie shouted. The corners of the great hall echoed Promise!
“Promise!” Hodie yelled, and the hall echoed again.
“Promise and keep the promise!” Hodie shouted a third time. The echo built until it sounded like a gale that shook the walls and the ground beneath his feet. Keep the promise, promise promise…!
Prowdd’on spread his hands to show he couldn’t believe that Hodie thought he had to ask. “Boy – what can I say?”
“Just make the promise,” Hodie said.
“I hear you,” said Prowdd’on.
He gestured to the guards. One took the handcuffs off Dardy, who rubbed his wrists, trembling. Prowdd’on gestured again, and Allana moved to stand beside Hodie. She was trembling too.
“Now,” said Prowdd’on to Hodie. “Where is missing bag?”
Hodie saw a smile crawling under the gilded spikes of Prowdd’on’s moustache. A boy in the crowd let out a cry. The teachers hushed him. Hodie opened his mouth.
“Stop!” cried out Sibilla. “Wait a moment!”
She ducked out of Murgott’s grip and raced to Hodie. Hand on his shoulder, she whispered quickly. “Prowdd’on didn’t make the promise. He weaselled out of it.”
Hodie felt an utter fool. She whispered on. “He’ll punish you and never let you go. I’m a useless Queen and I’ll never have magic, but I can do this for you and Lady Allana, and for Fontania. Send the bird to Jasper the minute you can! Tell Jasper where The Ties are. You must not let Prowdd’on get the bag. Do you promise?”
She stared into his eyes until he nodded. Hodie definitely wanted to throw up now. “But …”
“Another foreign brat with no manners!” Gree’sle cried. “Stop wasting time! Lock him away!”
Sibilla glanced at Hodie’s hands, then turned towards Prowdd’on. She was holding the bird behind her back. She pressed it into Hodie’s grasp. The bird felt warm again, alive.
Then Sibilla lifted her chin, faced the Emperor like a Queen, and took her cap off. Her hair sprang up as if the strongest wind rushed through it. Prowdd’on’s mouth dropped open. Gasps and murmurs filled the Hall.
Queen Sibilla bowed as she’d been taught.
“Greetings, Emperor Prowdd’on,” Sibilla said. “I, Queen Sibilla of Fontania, find myself on an unexpected visit to your c
ity.”
~
27
problems with
choosing the good things
Um’Binnian soldiers tromped all over the Hall, Sibilla was surrounded, and Hodie couldn’t see what had happened to her.
“No!” Hodie yelled. He kept on yelling but it was not a scrap of good. As soon as Dardy was freed from the handcuffs, he grabbed Hodie in a headlock to stop him trying to reach Sibilla. Hodie kicked and struggled, but it was difficult when he had to keep the metal bird well out of sight.
At one point there was a bellow from Prowdd’on. “Something bit me! A rodent! How dare it! Find it! Kill it!”
Dardy, Allana and Murgott dragged Hodie out of the Grand Hall, and hurried to catch up with the Princessa. Lu’nedda led them up flights of stairs, along corridors, back to her apartment. A split second before the Princessa slammed and locked her door, in dashed the squirrel. It crouched under the work table, tail lashing, wiping its mouth and spitting. Ptha! Ptha! Ppppthah-ah-ah!
Hodie tried to unlock the door and beat upon it. Murgott came over and held his wrists. “I hate you,” Hodie shouted. “I hate you all!”
“D’you think I plan to leave the little Queen to Prowdd’on’s mercy?” the Corporal muttered. “Tactics, boy. We’re only helpless till we figure out what to do. I’ll get her out of this stinkin’ cave city, but it needs thought. Half your brain must be Fontanian, so blasted well use it.” He rubbed his hands over his freckly forehead. His eyes welled with tears.
The Princessa sat down and steepled her fingers. “Interesting twist,” she muttered. “Thank you, boy, for not giving me away. I am not sure what to do next. A good idea is always wait and see if good idea comes.”
Dardy had collapsed into an armchair. The squirrel, asking questions to itself, circled him, decided it knew him and sprang on his lap to soothe him with chitters.