by Sofia Grey
“Why?”
“For all the reasons I laid out earlier.”
“And what happens when I come home? You may have forgotten about me.”
“That’s not very likely.” Not when he haunted my dreams every night.
“Jeez, Caitlin. I thought I had it all worked out, but you’re kind of confusing me.”
“I’ll still be here when you get back. And if you feel the same, we’ll figure out how to make it work.”
“Will you email me?”
“Email. Skype. Facetime. Phone. Anything is possible.” I tried to smile, but it was wobbly at best.
“And until then? Will I see you?”
“Try keeping me away.”
*
The next ten days flew by. Jasper helped me set up in the new kitchen, and charmed my new business partners. We hung out with Holly and Zack, and Jasper encouraged me to exercise. He even developed a program for me at the gym, with Tane to coax me into taking part. We split our nights equally between my apartment and his house, and I dreaded the day he’d leave. He had become such an integral part of my life, and so quickly, that I’d flounder without him.
It was my choice to send him away, and I had to suck it up.
Saying goodbye at the airport was tough. Putting on a brave face took every ounce of my acting skills, and I clung to him until the absolute last minute. Holly was with me, and we waved him off together, then went back to her house and got hammered on Polish vodka.
After that, I threw myself into work, but always with the knowledge I’d catch up with Jasper at some point each day. He already cut his trip down to six months, from the year he initially planned, and I crossed off each day on a big calendar on my wall.
Six months. Twenty-six weeks. It was plenty of time to put my new long-term plans into motion.
Chapter Forty-three
Jasper had been away for eight weeks. I ached for him like a phantom limb, but my plans were falling into place.
Thanks to Bruce being serious about investing in my business, I could branch out. Deanna would manage the city-based work from the Oriental Bay property, while I set up a new kitchen in Waikanae, at the gym. I’d need to spend a couple of days each week in the city, but I would have flexibility.
Would Jasper want me to move in with him? It might be too early to consider that, so I’d keep my apartment.
I felt closer to him at the gym, and I was among friends. Business was booming, and I sold my healthy snacks twice over. As a bonus, I was losing weight too. With so much gym equipment around me, I was getting into a regular exercise routine. I enjoyed running on a treadmill. Who knew?
Everything was great, apart from Jasper not being here.
He was supposed to be in transit to France today, first on the cross-channel ferry, and then taking the train to Paris. I couldn’t help being envious. He’d shared images of England—of little postcard-perfect villages and rugged mountains and vast lakes that reminded him of the scenery here. He warned me a couple of days ago that communications would be patchy, and said I shouldn’t worry if I didn’t hear from him, but the day felt empty with no contact.
It gave me the opportunity to focus on work. I was busy with a big cake order for one of my customers at the gym. They were throwing a birthday party and wanted dozens of assorted cupcakes, along with a new product I was trialing—a layered ice-cream cake. For obvious reasons, it could only be delivered to addresses in close proximity.
Because it was a Saturday, Holly was available, and she helped me pack the cupcakes into their cartons, ready for delivery.
“When did you last hear from Jasper?” she asked.
“The day before yesterday. We chatted for a couple of minutes.”
“You miss him, don’t you?”
“What do you think?” I turned to face her. “I’m counting the days until he’s back. We only had a couple of weeks together, but I love him, Holly.”
“I’m so glad.” Her smile was beautiful. “It was the same with me and Zack.”
We carried on working, and I tried to focus on the task at hand. I was chopping strawberries into tiny pieces, to act as a garnish, and it had to be done at the last minute, otherwise they’d go mushy.
I was confident of my feelings for Jasper, and I knew he felt strongly about me, even if he didn’t love me. He probably needed more time. Guys. Why was it such a big deal to say those three tiny words?
“Finished,” said Holly.
I laughed. “If you ever fancy a change of career, come and work for me.”
“I’ll go load these into your car. Are you almost done with the garnish?”
I glanced at my watch. “’We don’t need to be there for another half hour, and the drive is only five minutes.”
“We don’t want to be late.” She shrugged. “It gives us more time for set up. I’m not as quick as Deanna.” Her cheeks were tinged with pink.
“Are you okay, Holly?”
“I’m good.” She fanned at her face with her hand. “Warm in here. And I’m nervous the ice cream might melt.”
It would be fine, but she was worried.
“Okay. Let’s get the car packed. You sure you have time to help me arrange it when we get there?”
“Definitely.” Her smile was bright. “Kit and Liza invited us to stay for a drink afterward. You are going to, aren’t you?”
I didn’t normally socialize with my customers, but this was a small town, and everyone knew everybody else. I also didn’t have any plans for the evening, other than updating my blog with the photos I’d take later, when the cakes were on display. “Maybe a quick one.”
“Great. I’m looking forward to introducing you to everyone.” She gave me a quick hug. “More potential clients.”
The customers were thrilled with the cakes. It was Liza’s birthday, and judging by the dozens of people there, it was a big deal. The weather was kind today, and partygoers spilled out of the house, onto a long wooden deck, to cluster around a pair of BBQs. With Holly’s help, I arranged the cupcake mountain and stashed the ice cream cake in the freezer until it would be needed.
How soon could I leave?
I longed to go home and wait for Jasper’s call. I’d left him a couple of emails, to share news of what we were both doing.
Days like this, with everyone in the world happy, made me question why I sent him away. He was willing to cancel his trip, but I had to push him to carry on with it, and take the risk of him not wanting me when he came home. Whenever that would be.
Liza swept me into the kitchen. “Come and get a drink. Are you driving? I have soda if you’d prefer.”
“I’m good, thanks. I’ll be off.”
“What? You can’t go yet.” Her phone buzzed, and she scanned the message, then looked up at me. “I need to ask your advice on... umm... baking.”
She’d paid me generously for my services, and I wanted to retain her goodwill, so I pasted a smile on my face. “Of course. How can I help?”
“It’s like this.” She chewed on her lip, distracted by another incoming message. “I’m not sure how to explain it.”
Someone behind me called her name. It was the perfect time to escape. I stepped forward and touched her arm. “It’s your party. Go have a wonderful time. You can ask me for baking tips any time you like.”
“Kit needs to talk to you. Let’s find him.”
How could I say no, without being rude? I let Liza lead me through the house and garden, and back into the kitchen. At this point, I took matters into my own hands.
“I really need to go,” I began, when someone rang the doorbell.
“Damn. My hands are full,” said Liza. “Would you please get that for me, Caitlin?”
“Sure,” I said. “I’ll be off now.” That was the plan—let in the next guest, and let myself out at the same time. There was no sign of Holly. I should text her, to tell her I was leaving, but I’d do that from my car.
Maybe Jasper would call tonight. It was o
nly two days but I missed his voice. Hell, I missed everything about him.
I cracked open the door.
Jasper stood on the doorstep. I swept my gaze over him. Shorter hair. Tanned face. Uncertain smile. Was I hallucinating?
“Jasper?”
“Caitlin.”
I wasn’t sure who moved first, but a heartbeat later we were in each other’s arms. Warm and strong, he wrapped himself around me, and everything righted itself in my world. One Jasper-snuggle. That was all I needed.
He hugged me tight and inhaled deeply. “Mm hmm. I’m glad you haven’t changed your scent. I love that vanilla sugary fragrance you wear.”
“I’m not wearing any perfume.” I chuckled against his neck. “That’s cake.”
“I need to taste you to be sure.” He tipped up my chin with one finger and claimed my lips. I just about melted with happiness.
A ripple of applause and a couple of wolf whistles sounded nearby. “Get a room,” someone called, and Jasper lifted his head.
“Thank you, Liza,” he said. “And Holly. You guys are the best.”
“Wait. You planned this?”
“I had some help. You can blame Holly. She wanted me to surprise you.”
I kissed him again. I didn’t care that we had an audience. “You did. What are you doing here? I thought you were in France.”
“Thing is I didn’t want to be there without you.” He smoothed a stray wisp of hair from my face. “I was miserable, and I realized I didn’t want to go exploring by myself. I’d rather wait until you can come too. Discover the world together one day. What do you think?”
His eyes held a wary look. Did he think I’d be upset? I chewed on my lip while I composed myself. “I think that is the craziest, most wonderful idea ever.”
“That’s good.” His smile crept out again. “There’s something else, too.”
“What?”
“I love you, Caitlin. And I wanted to wait until I held you before I told you. I’m in love with you, and I hope you still feel the same.”
“Eh. I’ll tell my other boyfriends they can’t come over.”
His face lit up with the biggest grin. “Did you just mis-quote Independence Day to me?”
“I may have.” I couldn’t hold back my delighted laugh at his expression.
He stole a kiss that made my head spin. “See? I knew I’d convert you to Sci-Fi.”
“I love it now. But I love you more.”
We stood there a few minutes or half an hour. I couldn’t be sure. We should go into the party, and I needed to thank Holly and Liza for setting this up, but right now, there was no other place I wanted to be.
With Jasper. Happy at last.
Epilogue
Dean
I stared at the words etched into the sand. The incoming tide had washed away the top half of the letters, but what remained was annoyingly familiar.
ne night i aarkes Detore lne aawn
I mentally added some lines and loops. It might read: the night is darkest before the dawn. I knew the quote, from ‘Batman, The Dark Knight’, and it suited my mood. My life was pretty fucking dark at the moment.
The sea nudged at the writing and blurred it even more. I drew in a tight breath and resumed my pace, stomping my feet on the damp sand as though I could drive out my demons by force alone.
Unbidden, an image of Hal popped up in my head. He loved the Batman series and we spent hours dissecting the character, to the amusement of Lisa. His wife didn’t share the love of comic book heroes. “I have my own hero right here,” she said. From the minute she met Hal she was smitten. Everybody loved Hal. God, I missed the guy.
I increased my pace, running until my lungs burned and my hamstrings protested. The early morning sun was hotter than I’d expected. Sweat pooled on my forehead and trickled down my back. My hangover had almost gone though, the vodka leached out through my pores, and I knew I’d be fine after a shower.
Today was my first day in the Peka Peka Fire Station. It wasn’t what I was used to by any means. I was a city boy and this quiet backwater was as alien as if I’d been dumped on another planet. People didn’t even bother locking their cars, and said ‘hello’ and ‘lovely day’ to every passer-by. It drove me insane. Give me the anonymity of the city any day. The drive down from Auckland had taken me almost ten hours, and I was sick of the unrelenting emptiness long before I arrived.
Six months. Would I survive?
I slowed to a walk, my breathing ragged. The only good thing about moving here was the beach. I could run for miles every day without seeing anyone.
I approached the little beachside cottage that would be my home for the next few weeks. Top of my to-do-list had to be finding a longer-term rental, and I’d start the search later, or maybe tomorrow. Getting through today would be hard enough. I’d want nothing more than to sink into a chilled bottle of vodka after my first shift. Hitting the online ads could definitely wait.
I might even see if this place could be negotiated for a longer term. It was small, and bright inside, with long windows facing the sea. I liked the clean, simplicity of it. It held no memories.
*
Half an hour later, driving the short distance to the fire station, I saw a sign for Havana Blend coffee. My favourite. A tiny bakery sat back from the road, a handful of tables and chairs outside in the sunshine. It was busy, judging by the people that spilled out of the door. But I had time. And really, if I were ten minutes late on my first day, nobody would say anything. My new Chief Fire Officer, Tim Morgan, had impressed the need to ease in gently. How long that would last was anybody’s guess.
I didn’t need or want his pity. I just wanted to keep my head down, get through the next six months, and then get back to Auckland.
I took my place in line, idly watching the staff as they scurried back and forth. The music playing over the sound system was familiar, and like the words on the beach, I recognised the track. It was nineties Trip-Hop, but was it Massive Attack or Portishead? It took me right back to a little nightclub I’d spent too many hours in, during my University days. I reached the head of the line, and the heavily tattooed brunette gave me a brief smile.
“Morcheeba.” I snapped my fingers as the penny dropped, and the song fell into place in my head. “Big Calm.”
The girl laughed. “You’re the first person to recognize it. The new girl won the draw for which playlist we used.”
“Large flat white, please.” I held out my debit card to be swiped. “It’s forever since I heard this. She’s got good taste in music.”
“Good with the Gaggia machine too.” The girl scribbled my order on a sticky note and added it to the waiting orders lined up on the counter. “It won’t be long.” She stared at my shirt, her eyes sharpening. “You must be the new guy at the fire station. How are you liking it here?”
Hate it. Hate the quiet. Hate kicking my heels while my buddies in the city are busy. Hate being made to serve here until the fuss dies down. “Love it,” I managed. Where was my caffeine when I needed it?
“Where were you before?” The girl leaned on the counter, her generous cleavage on display. I risked a quick glance before meeting her gaze.
“Auckland City Central.”
“Must be a change of pace for you.” She pulled at a strand of her dark hair, and twisted it around her finger. “Steph just moved here too.” She nodded at the blonde behind the coffee machine. “If you’d like someone to show you around, give me a shout.”
While we spoke, drinks were made and handed over to the waiting patrons, and my order was prepared. “Dean,” said the blonde, and then she looked up from her work. Bright blue eyes widened at the sight of me. “Here’s your drink.” She thrust the paper cup in my direction, and then turned her attention to the list of sticky notes.
Something about her pinged at my memory. Just like the Morcheeba track, I’d also come across Steph somewhere before. I never forgot a face. A drunken one-night stand perhaps? There’d been a
few of those. “Do I know you from somewhere?”
Colour flushed her cheeks, but before I could say anything else, my phone rang.
I dug into my pocket and answered it without checking the caller ID. “Dean Logan.”
“Dude.” It was Laurence, one of my old watch mates. “You’ll never believe it. Dickless has been signed off for a month with stress.”
“You’re fuckin’ kidding me?”
“Wish I was. We just hope he doesn’t come back.” An alarm rang in the background, and my friend made a clicking noise with his tongue. “Gotta go.” He disconnected.
Stress? That fucker didn’t know the meaning of the word. I swung away, heading for the fresh air outside. I needed space. If anyone was responsible for Hal’s death, it was Richard Dickless Goodwin. If I could play God, reverse the situation, and pick which man lived and which died, I’d choose Hal to survive every time. No question.
~ * ~
If you want to read Steph’s story, you need to buy Her Fiery Fix, the next in series.
Her Fiery Fix (Love at the Beach #4)
He’s setting fire to my heart
I’m detoxing my life. No drink, drugs or messing around with guys who use me. I don’t need Dean, a bossy-but-sexy firefighter to take an interest in me. He saved me once before, and when he figures out where he knows me from, I guarantee he won't be able to get away from me fast enough.
One night turns into two, and I still want more. His take-command attitude in the bedroom is the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced, and every time he says "good girl" I want to wrap myself in the praise, even when he's got me doing the dirtiest things.
We’re scorching between the sheets, but it’s my heart that’s going to get burned, and I don’t know how I’ll survive.
~* ~
Love at the Beach series
His Private Fix
His Temporary Fix
His Sweet Fix
Her Fiery Fix
~ * ~
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