by T. A. Chase
“No, Master Malik isn’t here right now. Would you like to leave a card or a message for him?”
Ajay wasn’t sure the guy would be willing to touch anything Ajay gave him. He pulled Raj’s phone out of his pocket, then held it out.
“He left his phone at…”
Where could he say Raj had left it? He figured Raj wouldn’t want anyone to know he’d been at Ajay’s house.
Fortunately, the man’s expression softened a touch when he saw the familiar item, and Ajay was able to leave the sentence unfinished when he took it from Ajay’s hand.
“Thank you for returning it. I will be sure to tell Master Malik that you came by.” He stepped back and began to shut the door, then paused. “Good luck in your next match, sir.”
“Thanks.” Ajay let the man close the door in his face. What else could he do? He couldn’t leave the message he really wanted to leave.
Ajay climbed down the steps to rejoin Neel. Maybe this was the best way for the day to end. He needed time to process what had happened. Hopefully their kiss wouldn’t drive Raj to do something rash, like run out and marry Karishma tonight.
“Are you ready to face my parents?” Neel chuckled.
“As ready as I ever am.” Ajay took a breath, then pushed all thoughts of Raj to the back of his mind. He could deal with it all when he got home and was alone.
Chapter Eight
Rajan was all the way to Beni Sharma’s office before he realised he’d lost his phone somewhere. Shit. He thought about the convoluted day he’d had and came to the conclusion it must be at Ajay’s, since he’d called him from just outside the gate. He checked around himself in the car just to make sure, but he figured he would have seen it when he’d got in.
That meant he was going to be seeing Ajay again much sooner than he wanted to. He raised a trembling hand to touch his lips, wondering if they looked as puffy and kiss-swollen as they felt. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip and could swear he still tasted Ajay.
Groaning, he gave his semi-hard dick a thump to try to get it to calm down. What had he been thinking, throwing himself at Ajay like that? He just remembered sitting there with Ajay, taking comfort from his presence and sharing tea with him. Then Ajay had placed his warm, strong hand on his knee and his voice had deepened as he’d said something about having missed him. Rajan had almost felt the restraint inside him snap and the next thing he knew he was buried in that unbelievably arousing scent as Ajay had pressed him into the floor…
Not helping you calm down!
What came after sure had, though. When he’d heard the strange voice of another man just outside the room—the infamous Neel, no less—he’d deflated in a hurry as a mix of fear of discovery and irrational jealousy had cut through him.
And look, even thinking about that is doing the trick now.
Just in time, too. The car pulled to a halt around the side of the building Sharma ran his agency from.
Once inside, he was ushered into Beni’s office without delay. It was empty and he took a seat to wait for his agent. He didn’t have to wait long.
Sharma came in and closed the door behind him.
Oh, great, one of those talks.
“I just got off the phone with your mother,” Sharma began, rounding his desk to sit in his high-backed office chair. He opened a portfolio and began pulling out clippings. He employed a service that searched every publication for any mention of his clients, and they’d obviously been working overtime. Sharma was very technology oriented, so they also ended up scanned into the computer, but for some reason he always kept the paper copies, probably just so he could fan them out like he was doing now, arranging them in rows.
At the top of the inverted pyramid, he noticed several shots of him and Karishma at the club, including the ‘hunched over’ one his mother had mentioned, as well as a few close-ups of the ring on Karishma’s hand. The coverage of that must have been in nearly every paper today, judging by the sheer number of them.
The middle of the grouping was devoted to industry articles, mostly stories about different angles of the upcoming film as well as what looked to be reviews of his most recently released movie.
Down at the bottom were two lonely clippings with photos and just a paragraph or so.
It was these that Sharma handed over to him to take a closer look at.
He schooled his face to keep from betraying his emotions at seeing such a romantic shot of him…with Ajay. They were as they’d been sitting at the café, and from the angle of the photo, it not only looked like they were clasping hands across the table, they were leaning in close to one another as though about to kiss.
Of course, he knew that nothing of the sort had happened— that night—but it certainly looked damning. Both articles were brief and laden with innuendo, trotting out Ajay’s status as an out gay man and single stud, stealing Rajan away from Karishma for a hidden tryst.
Knowing what he knew, both about the events of the evening and Ajay’s character, it was laughable. But he couldn’t muster up any humour over it, and Sharma didn’t appear to be thrilled about it either.
“Care to explain?” He tilted back in his chair and raised an eyebrow expectantly. “Here I was thinking that today’s news was going to be all about you and Karishma and you signing on officially to play her male lead. And yes, that’s the majority of it. But this? I need to know what’s going on, Rajan.”
“Nothing is ‘going on’. You know that they choose the worst possible photos and put the most negative spin on things.” He rubbed the palms of his hands on his pants and tried not to look too guilty, considering what he’d been doing just a short time before.
“That is true, however, you were meeting him when you should have been with Karishma at the club. And he is a gay man.” He held a hand up. “I could care less. There are too many people I know who work in the industry for me to hold on to any prejudice.
However, you being seen with him is not in your best interests, no matter how innocent you might consider the contact.”
Rajan handed the two small clippings back to Beni, who carelessly tossed them back on top of the others from today.
“Your mother has said that you were once…with Singh. At university, at the time just before we started working together.”
“We were roommates and best friends, yes.” Rajan refused to discuss the private details of their relationship with his agent, of all people. The man had his nose in every other aspect of Rajan’s life. This he wanted to hold close, to not have outsiders sully.
“Fine. That’s an angle I can work with. You were best mates…he went into the cricket world and you to Bollywood…you had run into each other at the club and decided to go elsewhere to catch up. I’ll leak it to a couple of sources. I’d like them to concentrate on the upcoming filming, and of course, the big romance with Karishma.”
Rajan couldn’t restrain a snort.
“Oh yes, I heard about the ring thing. Are you sure you don’t want to just announce it?
It’s not like you have to get married right away, if ever. You wouldn’t be the first Bollywood couple to be engaged for years and years just to stop the endless speculation.”
“I couldn’t do that.” Rajan was appalled. A fake engagement? How did anyone expect him to pull something like that off? “No, I don’t want any announcement like that. Clear?”
Sharma smirked. “How sweet. You want to do things the right way. Well, more power to you, then. But trust me on this, if you were ever to marry someone in this business, Karishma would be the one. You’d be lucky to have her. She’s going places, she isn’t stupid and the two of you are box office magic. You could do a lot worse. I think she’d be happy to live her own life, too, instead of meddling about in yours.”
Was Beni saying what he thought he was saying? That he believed that Rajan was…?
And that if he married Karishma, she would let him have someone on the side…
He could feel a cold sweat forming on
his neck. Time to end this conversation and get out of here. Right the fuck now.
He stood and Beni followed suit. The knowing smile never left his face as he walked Rajan out to the lobby.
“I’ll be seeing Karishma later this afternoon. Shall I let her know that you’d like to take her to an intimate dinner tonight? I can set up the reservations, someplace special.”
Rajan knew an order when he heard one. “Fine. Let me know the time and arrange for a car for us. And flowers.”
“Good boy.”
After he’d left the office, he instructed the driver to take the scenic route along the water while he tried to marshal his control. Everything in his life seemed to be hovering just beyond his reach. He debated about going over to Ajay’s to retrieve his phone, but he just didn’t think he could face him right now.
Besides, Ajay’d been going over to have dinner with Neel and his parents. He couldn’t help a bit of a mental sneer when he thought the man’s name. Neel was probably a very nice guy. Rajan supposed he would have to be if he was Ajay’s closest friend. But something in the way Neel had looked at him, a flash of resentment maybe, had put his back up from the get-go.
It was probably the mother of all ironies that Neel felt the same about him as he did about Neel. Each of them wanting Ajay’s attention to themselves.
Pathetic, both of us.
So let them have a nice, cosy family dinner like a sweet gay couple. He had to go have a cosy dinner himself tonight. And speaking of that, he’d better get home and start getting ready. He didn’t even know what time it was. Without his cell phone, he was feeling a bit lost.
Or maybe that was just his life right now.
* * * *
“Goodness, Neel, I always feel like I need to go work out for hours after a meal at your parents.” Ajay groaned as he flopped into the passenger seat of his friend’s car.
Neel laughed. “I know. Mother makes a great meal. I’m lucky I’ve always been athletically inclined, so I could exercise all those calories away.”
Ajay grunted, not sure he could form a sentence at the moment as all the food he had eaten was causing him to slip into a coma.
“Do you want to stop at a club on the way home? Have a couple drinks and dance a little of this meal off?” Neel pulled out into traffic, being careful not to hit any vehicles or pedestrians.
No way did Ajay want to go anywhere besides home. Now that he’d eaten, all he wanted was to soak in his hot tub and think of a way to get the kiss he’d shared with Raj out of his mind.
“I can’t believe Rajan Malik was at your house, man. I guess your class reunion with him went well the other night.” Neel shot a quick glance at him “Speaking of the other night? What the hell? Were you on something?” He twisted in his seat to look at Neel.
Neel grimaced. “What are you talking about? I wasn’t on anything.”
“It seemed like it. You were acting weird like you didn’t want me to leave you or anything like that.” Ajay lifted his shoulder. “I thought it was because you didn’t want me to go see Raj.”
“What? No. I don’t care if you see him or not, though I do think you need to be careful.
He’s not coming out of the closet for anyone, and all the rumours are pairing him up with his co-star. There’s just a lot of heartache coming from that guy.”
Ajay frowned, not sure what Neel was talking about. “What has that got to do with how you were acting?”
Neel took a breath. “Nothing. Anyway, you know how girls freak me out, right? So there was some girl who was coming on to me at the club, and I didn’t know how to deal with her. I thought you’d be able to help me get rid of her.”
“You know the best way to get rid of unwanted female attention, Neel?” Ajay grinned.
“What?”
“Telling the world you’re gay pretty much ensures that no female will chase you ever again.” Ajay pointed to himself. “At least that’s how it worked for me.”
Neel paled, just like Ajay had thought he would. Ajay knew the very idea of coming out in public made Neel nauseous. But Ajay couldn’t help goading the other man. He might have understood why Neel and Raj hid their true selves behind the lies, but it didn’t mean he agreed with them.
“You know I can’t do that yet, Ajay. It would kill my parents.”
Ajay shrugged. “Whatever excuse gets you through the day, my friend. Just don’t expect me to play your wingman when you have a girl following you around. I don’t know how to deal with women. I mean they’re pretty and all, but I never wanted to do more than talk to them.”
“About the club?” Neel obviously wanted to change the subject, and Ajay was willing to go along with him.
“No. Take me home. I need to work out a little bit, then I’m going to bed. It’s been a long day.” And Ajay had a feeling it was going to be a long, sleepless night as well.
“Fine. You’re getting to be a stick in the mud in your old age, Ajay,” Neel teased.
Maybe he was, but he was also getting sick of the club scenes. All surface and no substance. He found himself enjoying staying in at night and watching movies or reading instead of partying into the wee hours.
Whether it was maturity or all the travelling he did for the cricket team, he didn’t know, but home was where his heart wanted to be at the moment.
Chapter Nine
Rajan let himself into Maa’s house when he arrived. He’d called Mrs Kapoor as usual to let her know he’d be there this morning, so he was a bit surprised that she didn’t immediately come to greet him and take his coat. Probably his mother needing extra time to get herself ready and she wouldn’t let anyone but Mrs Kapoor touch her—she hadn’t for years.
He walked out to the salon, sat on the loveseat then proceeded to check his phone for missed texts and emails while he waited. He’d got home last night to find that Ajay had been by his house to drop the phone off while he’d been at Sharma’s office. No message, just the phone. Rajan sighed. He didn’t blame Ajay for not doing more than simply dropping it by.
He’d been a complete idiot running out like that.
There was a snarky text from Karishma saying,
Thanks for the goodnight kiss…not!
Followed by a wink. Whatever that meant.
The next text was from a private number.
Glad to see u r taking me seriously. Nice flowers.
Okay, that was really creepy. Now the person, whoever it was, had his cell phone number? And had seen the flowers he’d given Karishma? Unless they were just taking a stab in the dark. A stab in the dark? “Pretty horrible imagery there,” he muttered.
“Oh, Master Malik, you are here.”
He’d jumped at the first word then had settled as he’d recognised Mrs Kapoor’s voice.
Rising from his seat, he smiled at her before asking about the obvious. “Isn’t Maa ready for company? I can wait if you need more time.”
Her expression was sombre, and he felt another jolt, this time of worry.
“Your mother won’t be getting up today, but she’d like you to see her in her bedroom.”
Shock went through him as his stomach dropped. She never allowed anyone else into her bedroom. Not even him. He couldn’t remember whether he’d ever been in there, and if he had, it had been when he was too young to remember it.
“Mrs Kapoor…”
“Master Malik…Rajan.” She sighed. “Your maa is failing. Her body is shutting down.
The doctor finally put his foot down and refused to continue the chemotherapy, and—”
“When?” he interrupted her. “I had no idea.”
“About three weeks ago.”
“Three weeks?”
“You were wrapping up shooting on your last film. She didn’t want to bother you about it.”
He swallowed as the compassionate and pitying look in her eyes almost undid him.
She continued, “She hasn’t eaten for several days, and I can’t even get her to take more than a few s
ips of tea anymore.” She broke all protocol, took a step closer and grasped his forearm, looking up at him. “You need to prepare yourself.” With one last squeeze, she stepped back and gestured to the hallway. “I’ll take you to see her now.”
He preceded her down the hallway, up the back half flight of stairs then stopped in front of the closed double doors to her suite. Mrs Kapoor walked around him, opened the doors then walked in first, leading the way.
The scent of his mother’s perfume was strong here, as though it had sunk into the walls and rugs over the years. It was dim, and it took his eyes a few moments to adjust to the lack of light. He followed Mrs Kapoor through the sitting room to another set of double doors, where she stopped.
“Wait here for a moment, I’ll let her know you’re here.”
She opened the right-hand door and walked in, letting it close partially behind her. A brief murmur of voices then she was back, letting him in, then stepping out and closing the door again.
Maa was hardly visible in the bed, so slight that she barely made a rise in the coverlet.
He walked to the side of the bed where a chair was waiting, blatantly out of place in the otherwise carefully arranged room, as though it had been pulled into position especially for a bedside visit. His visit.
The first thing he noticed was Maa’s smile…at him. “What do you think of the inner sanctum, hmm?” The joke was made in a reedy voice so unlike her usual one, even from yesterday it had changed so drastically. Rajan remembered reading one time that people at the end of life sometimes got a brief burst of energy that made those around them think they were getting better, only to have them pass away a short time later. Had she spent all she had left yesterday? And to have it be an argument… He was sick inside.
Her expectant expression did not change, so he dutifully looked around. To his utter shock he noticed an entire wall of photographs, of all sizes and styles. And featured prominently was Rajan, which was to be expected he supposed, but also another larger, older man who was almost the image of him.