by T. A. Chase
Someone cleared their throat, and Rajan reluctantly stepped back as his father’s arms dropped.
“She’s awake right now. Perhaps it would be a good time for one of you to see her.”
Rajan looked at Bansi, who gave him a questioning glance. “I’ll show you the way.”
As Bansi followed Rajan into the main living area, he said, “I’ve been here before. Lived here for a short time.”
“Oh.” Well, of course he had. This had been his mother’s house since before he was born. Still…
He led the way to his mother’s suite and paused at the doors. It still felt strange to just walk in after so many years of it being off-limits. Bansi took charge—he opened the doors and walked through to the bedroom doors where he stopped.
Rajan could read the tension in his father’s still frame. “Do you want me to come in with you?” he offered.
Bansi turned his head to look at Rajan. “Thanks, but I think we should talk privately first. Why don’t you go get some fresh air? I’ll text you when I’m done or if…we need you.”
Rajan shook his head, still bothered by his earlier thought of someone watching him.
“I’ll just wait here. Take your time.”
Bansi’s warm brown eyes assessed his sincerity and evidently found what he was looking for. He gave a nod, opened the doors and stepped inside, closing them behind him.
Rajan sat on the chair he preferred and settled in to wait.
* * * *
A couple of hours had passed. Rajan glanced for about the thousandth time at the bedroom door. What on earth could they have been talking about for so long? Should he go check on things?
A text hit his phone and he gladly seized on the distraction. It was from Sharma.
‘ Everything okay?’
It was actually rather nice that he’d texted rather than coming in person or calling.
He quickly returned, ‘ Yes thx. Call u later.’
The bedroom doors opened and he shot to his feet. His father looked tired or perhaps emotionally drained. Rajan could relate.
“How is she? How did it go? Was she upset?”
“Shh. It’s fine. She’s sleeping again.” He eased the doors closed then joined Rajan in the sitting area. “She didn’t seem a bit surprised to see me, actually. Almost as though she’d expected you to get in touch and have me come.” He shook his head. “Probably manoeuvred the whole thing by planting the seed in your head.”
Rajan’s initial reaction was to protest but he cut it off, knowing his mother well enough to guess that his father was right.
“It gave her the chance to speak her mind to me, and me the opportunity to set hers at peace and make her some promises.”
“What promises?” Rajan blurted, then winced. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay, they were about you, after all. She wanted me to assure her that I would support you in your career and help you make a good marriage…both without my presence being a detriment.”
Rajan frowned. “Why would you be a detriment? No one is going to care that I’m, um…illegitimate. Not at this point in my life.”
“That’s true. I think that she’s unnecessarily worried about people’s opinions. Always has been. What I did promise was that I’d do everything I could to ensure your happiness.
That is what’s important to me.”
The truth of that radiated from his father’s eyes.
Now, Rajan just had to figure out for himself what would make him happy.
He had more important things on his mind right now, though. He gave his father’s arm a comforting squeeze then headed into Maa’s room to take his turn at her bedside.
Chapter Eleven
Ajay listened to the phone ring as he waited for Raj to pick up. He’d wanted to call him earlier, but the five day road trip with his team had worn him down. He hadn’t even gone out to the clubs with his teammates. Just had gone back to the hotels and crashed.
“You’ve reached Rajan Malik. I can’t come to the phone right now. If you leave your name and number, I’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible.”
Bloody hell! He’d got Raj’s voicemail again. Was Raj that upset about their kiss that he wasn’t even going to return any of Ajay’s calls? He hoped not. Ajay was willing to forget all about the kiss if it meant Raj would continue to talk to him.
“Hey, Raj, it’s Ajay. I just thought I’d call to see what you’ve been up to. Road trip is going well. Have one more match to play tomorrow, then we’re heading home. Umm…guess I’ll talk to you later.”
He hung up, then wanted to somehow go back and delete his message. Damn. Could he have sounded any more idiotic?
“Are you ready to head out, man?” Neel walked in through the door that separated their hotel rooms.
“Yes.” Ajay checked his reflection in the mirror. He wore a dark green silk shirt with black linen pants, and he slid on a pair of black Italian leather loafers. He looked good, not that it mattered.
Ajay didn’t try to pick up guys while he was on road trips with the team. Not like his straight mates did with the cricket groupies. He mostly stayed to himself. A sudden thought struck him, and he froze.
How long had it been since he’d had sex? It was far too long if he couldn’t even remember the guy’s name he’d slept with. It had been a long time since Ajay was a one-night stand kind of guy. Now, he usually slept with a lover at least three or four times before some excuse would pop up and he’d call the relationship off.
“Are you all right, Ajay?” Neel asked, and Ajay blinked, realising he’d been standing in the middle of the room, staring at nothing while he thought.
“Yes, I’m fine, Neel. Just tired. Today’s game was exhausting, and to work so hard only to lose doesn’t sit well with me.” Ajay checked to make sure he had his wallet, room key and phone before motioning for Neel to leave his room.
“It doesn’t sit well with anyone on the team, which is why we’ll try harder tomorrow.”
Neel clapped his hand to Ajay’s shoulder and smiled.
“I can’t wait for this trip to be over with,” Ajay admitted as he pushed the call button for the elevator.
Neel nodded. “I get it. For some reason, this trip has been more work than they normally are. Not sure why, but everyone seems to be feeling that way.”
The elevator arrived, and they climbed on. As they were riding it down, Neel pulled out his phone, then started tapping on it.
“You’re always playing with your phone,” Ajay teased. “Why don’t you marry it? You spend most of your time with it attached to your hand.”
Neel rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Ajay. No, I was just checking my Twitter feed.”
Ajay snorted. “Twitter? You have got to be kidding me. Weren’t you raving about Facebook a week ago?”
He burst out laughing at the horrified expression on Neel’s face.
“Facebook is so last year, Ajay. You need to get on Twitter. It’s awesome to be able to follow all the celebrities you like and friends as well. You get, like, up to the second info about them.” Neel grinned. “It’s how I know which clubs to visit when I go out at night.”
Ajay couldn’t imagine letting anyone have that kind of access to his life. As far as he was concerned, no one needed to know what he was doing every second of the day. Hell, most of it was so boring, people would rather watch paint dry than know what his activities were.
“Sounds like lots of fun, Neel.” The elevator doors opened, and Ajay stepped off. “Let’s go. The others are waiting by the cars.”
Neel trailed behind him as he made his way across the hotel lobby outside where three limos were parked. The rest of his teammates were chatting while they waited. He and Neel were the last ones to arrive, so once they were there, they piled into the limos to head out to dinner.
* * * *
“I’m starting to get the feeling you don’t want to talk to me, Raj,” Ajay spoke into his phone, leaving yet another message on Raj�
�s voicemail. “I guess I won’t bother you anymore.
You have my number, so call me if you want.”
He hung up, then let his phone dangle over the edge of the bed. He grimaced, not happy with how desperate he’d sounded. No guy wanted a needy boyfriend…
Ajay stopped his thought right there. He didn’t want to be Raj’s boyfriend.
Yes, you do, his inner voice mocked him.
He sighed. All right so what if he did want to be Raj’s boyfriend? Ajay wasn’t stupid, and he could read the clues. Raj didn’t want them to even be friends anymore, so he’d just have to deal with it.
“Still not answering, huh?” Neel looked up from where he sat in the room’s only chair.
It was the last night of their road trip. Tomorrow they would finally be flying back to Mumbai, and Ajay couldn’t have been happier about that. He wanted to sleep in his own bed, and be able to wander around his house barefoot if he wanted to. He’d have to tell Neel not to come over for a couple of days. Playing away games put them more in each other’s back pocket than usual, making Ajay slightly claustrophobic.
“No, he isn’t. I don’t understand why he’s cut me off like this. He seemed willing to consider being friends with me again,” Ajay muttered, so caught up in his own thoughts, he wasn’t paying attention to what he said.
“Friends? I saw those pictures someone took of the two of you at the café last week. You looked like you were more than just friends.” Neel shook his head. “Maybe he saw those and got scared. Hanging with you can give a guy a reputation.”
Ajay bolted upright, and glared at Neel. “If that’s true, then why are you still my friend? Why don’t you have a problem being seen with me, especially since you’re not eager to tell anyone about your sexual orientation.”
Neel hemmed and hawed for a few minutes, but Ajay didn’t really care if the man came up with a good answer or not. He’d accepted the fact that Neel was probably never going to tell anyone that he was gay, and that was fine with Ajay. They were friends, and while he thought Neel would be happier if he came out, he wasn’t going to stop being Neel’s friend if he chose to stay in the closet.
“Whatever, Neel. It’s not important.” Ajay flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m so bloody sick of hotels.”
“Have you tried calling his house? Something might have happened to his phone. Like, he could have left it somewhere and not had someone as nice as us there to return it.”
Ajay rolled over to look at Neel. “I’m a freaking idiot. No, I didn’t think about calling his house. Why would I think about that? It would be the next logical step, but obviously I’m not logical.”
“Shut the hell up, and dial his number already.” Neel threw one of Ajay’s dirty socks at him.
He scrolled through his contacts and pulled up Raj’s home phone number. After hitting the send button, he waited for the call to be answered.
“Hello.”
It wasn’t Raj who answered. “Hello. May I speak to Rajan, please?”
“I’m sorry, but Master Malik isn’t taking any calls at the moment. I’d be happy to add your name to the list of callers.”
“Umm…all right. This is Ajay Singh. I was just calling to see how he was doing.” He wanted to slap his forehead.
The man on the phone sighed. “He’s doing well, all things considered. I’ll make sure he gets the message.”
Ajay stared at the phone. “He hung up on me.”
“Raj?”
“No. The guy who answered.”
Neel pursed his lips. “Probably just his manservant or something. No big deal. You left a message, so I’m sure he’ll get back to you at some point.”
“Maybe.” If it was the same unfriendly guy who’d accepted Rajan’s phone that day, he wasn’t so sure. Ajay went back to staring at the ceiling.
“You’re depressing, dude. I’m going out to the clubs with some of the guys. I’m not going to bother asking you if you want to come.” After standing, Neel walked over to nudge Ajay’s knee. “I’ll see you in the morning in the lobby.”
“Yes. Try to have fun, but be safe.”
He didn’t even look up to watch Neel leave. After a few minutes, he climbed off the bed to stroll into the bathroom. Within minutes, he was ready for bed, then went back to slip under the blankets. Closing his eyes, he thought about Raj, and said a silent prayer that he was all right.
* * * *
“Ajay, you won’t believe what I just found out.” Neel grabbed his arm, then yanked him down to sit next to him on one of the lobby couches.
Ajay yawned. “What’s up?”
He’d been up most of the night, wondering why Raj hadn’t returned any of his calls and why he wasn’t accepting any phone calls. Ajay had been looking forward to getting some sleep on the flight home. He finally noticed that Neel looked pale and upset.
“Kamini Malik died three days ago. Her funeral was yesterday.” Neel held out his phone for Ajay to read.
“What am I looking at?” He took the phone from him to stare at the screen.
“It’s Karishma Saxena’s Twitter feed. She posted about being at Kamini’s funeral and how she’ll be comforting Rajan while he deals with the death of his mother.”
“What the hell? Are you serious?”
Ajay dug out his laptop and hopped online. He checked all the media sites, along with the blogs. It was true. Former Bollywood actress Kamini Malik had died the day after Ajay had left on his road trip.
He pulled up pictures that were taken outside Raj’s mother’s house of Bollywood’s famous, coming to pay their respects to Kamini and her family. He found ones of Raj, and he couldn’t believe how awful his friend looked. Exhaustion and grief etched deep grooves in Raj’s face, making Ajay long to be there to hold Raj and comfort him.
“It’s time to head to the airport,” the manager called as the limos pulled up.
Ajay shut his laptop, then put it away. “I have to call Raj.”
“Call him from the limo. We have a flight to catch.” Neel took him by the arm, then dragged him through the lobby to one of the waiting limos.
Ajay didn’t even notice any of the other guys who joined Neel and him in the limo. He pulled out his phone, then dialled Raj’s number. He swore when he got Raj’s voicemail yet again.
“Raj, I just found out about your mother. I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved her.
Please call me. If there’s anything I can do to help you, let me know.”
He hung up, then stuffed his phone in his pocket. Staring out of the window, he thought about Raj, and how devastated his friend must be. Raj had truly loved his mother in spite of all her faults and manipulations. Ajay had never experienced that kind of love before, but he could easily assume how horrible it must have been for Raj to say goodbye to her.
“It’s only an hour flight, Ajay. You can head to Rajan’s place after we land. I’ll grab your luggage and drop it off at your house for you,” Neel offered.
“Thanks, Neel. I appreciate it.” Ajay rested his hand on Neel’s shoulder.
“Anything for you, man. You’re my best friend.” Neel covered Ajay’s hand with his and gave it a quick squeeze before letting his hand drop back into his lap.
Ajay had a plan, now all he could do was wish time would speed up. He wanted to wrap Raj in a warm embrace, and let the man know someone was there who would do whatever he wanted to make him feel better.
* * * *
Three hours later, Ajay was pulling up in front of Kamini’s house. Neel had found the address for him while they had been waiting for the plane in Kolharta. He glanced down at his clothes and grimaced. He wasn’t dressed properly for a funeral, but he didn’t have any white clothes with him, except for his flannels, and those weren’t right at all.
A uniformed guard stepped in front of the car, causing Ajay to stop. Another approached his window. After rolling it down, he looked up at the man.
“I’m sorry, sir. No one else
is allowed in. The family has requested privacy and we’re here to ensure that happens.” The guard was polite, but Ajay saw the look of determination shining in his eyes.
“All right. I understand. Would you be willing to pass along a message for me?”
The man didn’t look entirely happy about the question, but he nodded. “I guess I can do that.”
“Could you tell Rajan Malik that Ajay Singh stopped by? If he needs anything, he should call me.” He watched the guard write the message down on his clipboard, and he figured it was possible his words might actually reach Raj this time. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Master Singh. Now, I’m sorry but you have to leave.”
Ajay backed up and pulled out onto the street. He would go home, and hope that Raj called him, if only to let him know he was all right.
Chapter Twelve
Ajay parked his car in the garage, then climbed out with a tired sigh. He grabbed his phone out of the console, glad that Neel had offered to bring his bags home for him. He dragged himself into the kitchen area, where the door from the garage led.
Mrs Mehra greeted him with a worried smile. “I’m glad you’re back, Master Singh. You have a guest.”
“You should’ve told Neel to go home, Mrs Mehra, or you could’ve left him here by himself. It’s not like Neel hasn’t been in my house on his own.” Ajay hung up his car keys with the others before propping his hip against the granite countertop. He wasn’t surprised when his housekeeper handed him a glass of water.
“Your guest isn’t Master Malhotra, sir. It’s Master Malik. He arrived here yesterday, and I remember you telling me that he was always welcome, so I let him in. He’s been sleeping in the gold suite.” She wrung her hands, and Ajay could tell she was worried that she’d done the wrong thing.