You’re a pussy.
Theo spit his mouthpiece to the floor. “Bro! What the fuck, Cole?” Theo asked, rubbing his chin. “You’re aiming every shot at my face.”
“Come on, Theo. Stop being a bitch. One more round.” I needed to focus on anything besides Katherine and how she was doing.
Theo stomped to the edge of the ring and had Mauricio pull his gloves off. He lifted a water bottle to his mouth before he spoke. “Fuck off, asshole.” He jumped out of the ring and tossed the gloves to Mauricio. “Cole, I’m not getting in the fucking ring with you. I’m pretty sure I have a fucking bruised jaw. Why don’t you drown your broken heart with liquor and pussy like the rest of the world?”
Mauricio laughed at Theo’s comment. I removed the facemask and jumped off the ring. “Fuck you both. I’m not fucking heartbroken. It’s just—”
“It’s just pussy you can’t conquer,” Theo joked.
I threw my glove at him and took my towel, wiping the sweat off my face. Mauricio left us to lock up the gym since we were his only clients for the day.
“Seriously though, Phil’s bachelor party is next weekend. We’re all going to Montreal for classy pussy and beautiful bitches. We even rented out the strip club for a couple of nights.” He jogged over and lightly punched me in the shoulder. “You know I cure my heartbreaks by getting my dick sucked. Maybe it will work for you.”
I ignored his comment and pulled my cell from my gym bag. There was another message from Devon.
Devon: I can’t wait to see you. <3
My brother’s head appeared at my side, and I tried to put the phone away before he saw the screen. He smacked my shoulder and laughed. “You lucky dog.” He teased. “Now that’s my big brother.” He lifted his hand for a fist bump, but I ignored him. “Fuck getting your dick sucked by beautiful Canadian women when you have Devon calling you. That girl is fucking hot and has obsessed over you her entire life. I’m certain she will do anything to change your mood.”
I brushed Theo off and ignored him yet again. He was right. I could forget about Katherine by using Devon, but she wasn’t who I wanted to see.
“Shut up.” I closed the screen. I was about to toss my phone back in my gym bag when it began to vibrate in my hand. An unknown number appeared on the screen.
“Hello?”
“Cole?” she whispered. “It’s Lila. Do you have a second?”
In the pit of my stomach, I felt that something was off. “What's up?” I moved away from Theo’s curious gaze.
“Is Katherine with you?”
“Weren’t you the one who bitched me out for asking you about her?” I retorted.
“I know,” she sighed. “Katherine and I had fought, and I needed to be angry at someone, and I’m sorry. It’s just that she's been a little off lately, and I wanted to know if you thought the same. Have you noticed anything?”
So, it wasn’t just me she was acting differently with. “She told me she wasn't feeling well when I saw her at the courthouse. She seemed sick, tired. If I didn’t know her I would’ve thought she was drunk. She was having a hard time concentrating, and we agreed to meet up afterward, but she never showed. I haven't heard from her for over a week, and I'm tired of sending her messages and getting rejected.” I exhaled with frustration. “What do you think is going on?”
“I'm not sure yet, she seems distant. We had an ugly fight about you, so I’m not sure if it’s that or if it’s because this case brings up memories for her.”
“I know.” I hated the fact that I hadn’t thought about how she may be feeling about the case. Was going to trial bringing up memories of what she had gone through?
“If you notice anything, can you let me know?" Lila asked.
“If she ever calls me back.”
“Give her time. She's worth the wait.”
I knew that. I couldn’t imagine a world without her. “I'll keep you posted.”
“And, Cole, if you do speak to her, don't tell her I called. I don't want her assuming anything.”
“Between me and you?”
“No.” She inhaled and exhaled. “I don't want her thinking that I doubted her.”
“Lila, what aren’t you telling me?” I couldn’t silence the voice in my head.
“I'm not sure yet, but once I have enough evidence I'll let you know.” She said quickly. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I hung up the phone and turned back to Theo, his gaze narrowed on me. “What the fuck was that about?”
“This girl I'm sort of seeing.” I shook my head I shoved my hand into the glove. “Another round?”
“I'm not one to give relationship advice, but if I were you, I would forget about that girl and take Devon out to dinner. At least you know that Devon will jump if you ask her.”
“You know what, Theo? You’re definitely not one to give relationship advice.” I jabbed his shoulder.
Maybe Theo was right. I’d been obsessing over someone who had ignored me for the last two weeks. Maybe I should spend an evening with someone who wasn’t ignoring me like the plaque.
Devon was persistent. I’d give her that.
She had messaged me throughout the day making sure we were still on for dinner. I met her at the Auden Bistro and Bar inside the Ritz Carlton Hotel. She was at the bar when I walked in, her legs crossed as she ran her fingers up and down the stem of her champagne flute. Her hair was pulled back, and her dress was skintight. When she saw me, she bit her lower lip and smiled.
“Hi, handsome,” she said, stepping off the barstool and kissing my cheek. Her dress was short, unlike anything Devon had worn before. Her legs were long and tan, and I found myself imagining what they would look like wrapped around me.
She and I were friendly—at times. I’d ended things right after our college graduation when I realized being with her was more a chore than enjoyment and that the sex between us was mindless rather than mind-blowing. We went to separate grad schools, and then she moved to DC shortly afterward, but in the past two years, she had tried to finagle her way back into my life. Her unannounced visits and the naked selfies she’d text me were irritating. But it wasn’t until Katherine stepped into my life that I realized I wanted nothing more to do with Devon. That only seemed to fuel her efforts to be around as much as possible, though, which annoyed the fuck out of me.
“You look beautiful,” I told her as I waved for the bartender.
“It’s no big deal,” she said modestly. Devon wasn't one to dress for the attention of a man. She had confidence because she knew she was beautiful regardless of what she was wearing. Do you want to grab a table, or we can get room service?” she said seductively as she ran her hand up my chest.
This was her plan. The dress was bait.
I grabbed her wrist and lowered her hand. “Let's grab a table.” I ordered a drink and had the bartender send it to the restaurant next door.
The hostess led us over to a small table in the far back of the restaurant. Our conversation was minimal, and we spoke between bites of our food. She asked about my family, my mother in particular, and I gave her monotone answers. We were halfway through dinner when she asked about my personal life.
“Are you still seeing Katherine?” she asked as she took a bite of her halibut.
I sat back and took a sip of my whiskey. “How do you know about Katherine?”
She paused, and a sly grin grew on her face. “Reagan told me.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Is it serious between you two?” She took another bite.
“Where are you going with this, Devon?”
She wiped her mouth with a napkin and shook her head. “I’m just trying to catch up. I care about you, Cole. You know that. I just want to see you happy.”
I shook my head. “It’s complicated.”
“How so?” She asked and brought her red fingernail to her teeth.
“It’s work-related.” I massaged the back of my neck.
“Does her family
have a house in the Hamptons?”
“Devon.” I said with annoyance.
“I’m just curious.” She smiled coyly. “Maybe I’ll bump into her this summer.”
I placed both hands on the table and leaned forward. “I’m not a dumb man, Devon. Your dress, your questions—what do you want?”
She cocked her head to the side and grazed her teeth along her bottom lip. “You,” she said matter-of-factly. “That’s all I want.” Her eyebrows narrowed.
“There is no us anymore.”
“There could be.” She reached across the table and grabbed my hands. “We’re older now and have our careers. We can be together. Do you know how happy your mom would be?” She smiled back and closed her eyes. “You know she’s already planned our wedding.”
Slowly I pulled my hands away. “Dev—”
“I’m not saying right now, but think about it. I could move to New York, and together, we could have it all.” She winked. “Maybe a few little kids running around the house.”
I took a long sip of my drink and contemplated what she was saying. It would be so simple to be with Devon. She was cut from the same cloth as I was. Our families were friends, and being with her would be easy. So fucking easy.
But I didn’t want that.
I wanted Katherine.
“Devon…” I paused trying to gather the right words. “There is no us,” I said clearly. “You will always be a friend of the family, but a relationship between us will never work. I just don’t feel that way for you.”
“I can change your mind.” She tossed her napkin onto her plate and stood. “I can be who you need me to be.” She wheeled my chair back and brought her lips down to mine. “I can be better than her for you.” She kissed my lips forcing my mouth to open for her. “Let me be better for you than her,” she whispered before sliding her tongue into my mouth.
She would never be better than Katherine.
“Devon.” I pushed her off of me and grabbed her shoulders. “This isn’t you. Look at how you’re acting in a restaurant,” I whispered. “You’re throwing yourself at me in public and making a scene.” Her eyes filled with tears and I felt like I was punched in the gut for making her cry. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel anything for you.”
She shook her head. “I will never give up on you,” she whispered. “That lowlife trash of a girl will never love you like I do.” She stood tall and grabbed her purse. “Screw you, Cole. You’ll love me, you and I are made for one another. One day you’ll realize that, and I’ll be right here. .” She marched out of the restaurant.
Her words rang deep. Would Katherine ever love me?
6
Katherine
My laptop sat open on the kitchen island as I stared at email from Howard. I’d gone to work today and snuck out early. Since I had found one hard piece of evidence for the case, I figured I could do whatever the fuck I wanted.
My excuse to Veronica was that I was meeting up with Mackenzie, but I had no intentions of seeing Mackenzie, I wanted to spend my afternoon at the park on a bench letting the sun hit my skin as I rode through the highs of the oxy. I was up to six pills a day now: one in the morning to wake me up, three at lunch, and two before bed. I was itching for my next hit, but Lila was home, and I needed to act like I was busy with work. Hence why the computer was out.
‘Busy day?” she asked, pulling out a bottle of white wine from the fridge.
“Yeah, we’re picking jurors next week,” I said remembering hearing Howard say that in a meeting.
“Do you want a glass?” She lifted up the bottle, and I nodded. “How about some ice cream?”
“I’m okay.” I shook my head and moved my fingers to lower the page on my screen. My skin itched as I read Howard’s email for the third time.
“Really, you’re turning down ice cream?”
“I’m trying to lose a few pounds,” I shot back.
“We’re always trying to lose a few pounds, Kat,” she said placing my glass beside me, “but we never stop eating ice cream. I just bought the trio layered Haagen-Daz. Trust me, you’ll want to try it.” She tried to convince me to dig into the creamy goodness.
“I have work to do,” I snapped. “I don’t want your stupid ice cream. I have an email to write and files to go through, so why don’t you take the ice cream and disappear?”
“Wow.” Lila raised her hands. “Sorry I mentioned it.”
When she left the kitchen, I sighed in relief. One more hour and I could take my pills. In the meantime, I chugged the glass of wine and then poured a second.
The doorbell rang, and Lila lowered the volume on the TV. “Are you expecting company?” she asked.
“Nope,” I answered and took a large sip from my glass.
I heard her footfalls to the door. “Oh, hi,” she said sounding surprised.
“Is she here?” I heard what I assumed was Cole’s voice. I looked back and thought I’d imaged it. Blamed the alcohol and residue of the oxy for my imagination. I closed my laptop and rubbed my eyes as I heard Lila mumble something about being in the kitchen.
I took a long calming breath before I faced him.
“Katherine?” he said from behind me.
I twirled in my seat to face him, and instantly my heart rate sped up. He looked delectable in black slacks and a navy-blue button-down. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbow, and his hair looked like he had run his fingers through it a few times.
“What are you doing here?” I questioned as my fingertips ran across my skin.
“Can we talk?” He stepped farther into the kitchen. Lila walked around him and towards her bedroom.
“Um…” I took another sip of my wine and added more to my glass. “Do you want something to drink?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” He massaged the back of his neck.
There was a pinch in my heart. An ache that was unbearable. I loved him with every part of me, but those parts were broken and damaged. “We can talk in the living room,” I said, leading him to the couch.
“I was just on a date with Devon,” he said with a sigh.
I stopped dead in my tracks and looked up at him. “What?” I said unable to hide the mortified feeling from my voice.
He nodded and pulled his gaze away from mine. “And the entire time, I kept thinking of you.” He looked away from my coffee table and back to me. “I want to be with you, Katherine, but you keep ignoring me.”
“I have a lot going on,” I lied. How could I admit to him that I’d been spending my time high as kite trying to forget the scars on my soul?
“Sure.” He nodded. “So busy that you can’t text me back?”
I grew defensive. “You just told me you were out with Devon.”
“To make you mad!” His voice rose with anger. “A few weeks ago, the mere mention of her name over the phone had you storming out of my house in a jealous rage.”
“So you told me you went out with Devon to make me jealous?”
“No.” He sighed. “I took her to dinner, where she proceeded to invite me to her room, but the only thing I could think of was you.”
I shrugged hating that I couldn’t let him love me. “You should’ve taken her up on her offer.”
“What is going on, Katherine?” His hands balled into fists. “I’m tired of you pushing me away. You want me to leave you alone, I’ll do so.”
“Cole, I just…”
“I’ll make this easy for you,” He stood and ran his hands down his thighs. “I won’t bother you again.”
Before I had the chance to protest he was out of the door and out of my life.
Lila reappeared in the living room. “You okay?” she asked.
“Fine.” I lied. I was heart broken but nothing a little pill couldn’t cure.
She sighed and sat beside me. “You know you can tell me anything right?” She looked over at me with kind eyes. “I’m here for whatever you need. Whatever is going on, Katherine, let me help.”
“Wer
en’t you the one who said I was throwing my career away by sleeping with him?” I bit my lower lip. “What do you want me to tell you, Lila? That I fell in love and now I can’t handle it? That I don’t think he can love the baggage I come with? Why would I ever tell you that?” I shrugged. “I just want to be left alone.” I pushed off the couch and stomped to my room.
I wouldn’t cry.
I wouldn’t let him hurt me.
But I would take two pills.
And I would let the high relieve the pain I felt deep inside my chest.
7
Cole
With a cigar in my hand, I held the twenty out as Destiny danced topless in front of me. Her hard, perfect tits were covered with glitter sparkling off the light as she lowered her G–string. The landing strip above her apex was a chocolate brown, not the same as her blonde hair. Unlike Katherine, she wasn’t a natural blonde. Not that I was fucking complaining—or comparing.
After I left Katherine’s apartment, I found myself knocking on Theo’s door. He was the only one who could help me forget about her. When he suggested I tag along with him for a weekend in Montreal for his buddy’s bachelor party, I didn’t protest. The faster I forgot Katherine, the better.
I had spent a few bills for the last minute accommodations, but it was worth every fucking cent. It was forty-eight hours of being intoxicated beyond recognition. My days and nights had become conjoined, and while most of the guys took the girls back to their rooms to fuck, I simply watched because no matter how hard I tried to forget her, I couldn’t.
Phil had rented out the strip club for the weekend, requesting only the hottest strippers Canada had to offer. I was twenty-thousand dollars down from a couple hands of poker and was contemplating if I should let Destiny suck me off. She stood in front of me her perfect heart-shaped ass swaying to the music, lightly pinching her nipples. I took a sip of my whiskey before I plucked the ice out of my cobbler, sliding it along her butt cheek.
Redemption (Savior Seires Book 2) Page 3