by Kara Hart
Hold on for me, Rust. Just hold on.
Rust
“Ah!” My teeth gnashed together. Thoughts streamed through my head like an animated movie. Yet, there was still the normal and rational side of me that kept telling me, “You’re still here. This is just the drug working on you. Don’t worry. It’ll all be fine.”
The rope binding my wrists and ankles together was now tightly straining against my skin. My muscles were growing. My anger was tripling. My desire for war and destruction was slowly becoming the only thing I cared about. Love? Fuck love. It was a false concept. Or at least that’s what my mind was telling me now that the drug had made its way through my system.
Power was the only reality. True and absolute power.
“No!” I screamed, snapping out of it for a brief second.
“Good. It’s working.” Don said. “Soon enough, you’ll be just like us. Hungry. Ready and willing. You’ll be one of our many golden leaders. Everyone will look up to you. Doesn’t that sound incredible?”
“It sounds perfect.” And that was exactly why I couldn’t give into it. Everything that sounded good to me was suspect. I needed to hold on to what I was and that meant holding on to what I now despised. Love, purity, healing.
But my muscles kept shifting and the thoughts grew stronger. After an hour or so, I felt the rope become so tight that it snapped. I was free. They all aimed their guns at me in fear. Don waved them away.
“Don’t worry. This is the process. He will not attack us.” he confidently announced.
He was right. I had no urge to attack him or anyone else in this room. These were my brothers. These were the ones who had shown me the light of darkness. Anger, hatred, disgust, and contempt for the known world. That was my new prerogative.
“How do you feel?” Don asked me.
I looked at him, grinding my teeth. “I feel like we’re wasting god damn precious time. We should be out there fighting!” I screamed. The men around me laughed.
I simply walked up to one of them and grabbed his throat, lifting him up, and completely crushing his trachea. “Is something funny to you?” I asked him.
“Put your weapons down.” he said to the rest of them. “NOW!” He smiled at me, pleased with my rage. I relished in the fact that I would become one of their golden warriors. I would go down in history as the most ruthless soldier to have ever fought. I wanted to. I needed to.
I threw the man down onto the floor as hard as I could. The man was instantly killed. I smiled, pacing around the room and staring into the eyes of every single Darkhorse member. “Anyone else think anything is funny?” I asked them. No one, of course, said a word. They looked down and saluted me. “Good.”
Don put his hand on my shoulder and said, “They have only received very small doses of the drug so far. After all, we need leaders and followers. Soldiers and captains. You, of course, are a natural born Alpha Leader. You are God’s gift to the cause. You know that don’t you?”
I nodded confidently. “I will bring our enemy Hell.”
“And who is your enemy?” he asked.
“Courage. And whoever else decides to stand in my way. This includes my subordinates.”
“Haha!” he cackled. “Good, good. We’ll show them what real pain is like. We’ll bleed them dry and leave them to rot in the desert sun. And when all comes to pass, we will be the only ones left. And we will have everything we could have ever asked for.”
“Power is all I need. The rest means nothing.” I said, walking outside of the house.
Don followed as I walked up to the nearest turret that had been set up, pointing at a target. I grabbed the gun, aimed, and pulled the trigger. To my excitement and surprise, every single bullet that came from the chamber hit directly in the center. I could see with precision. I could sense when the wind changed speed and direction. I was one with my surroundings. “God this feels good.” I said.
“It does.” Don said. “Good to have you aboard, Rust.”
“We must talk strategy. What is our next plan of attack?” I asked him.
“We mobilize force and send wave after wave of attacks. One bomb tomorrow morning. Another a few hours later. We send our soldiers into the city and have them come through the smoke and rubble to bring them Hell and horrific destruction. By the end of the day, we turn our once beloved city into a den of lost souls. The only ones who will be left will be the users. The homeless, drug addicts, and derelicts. Those are the people who matter to us. No more police. No more Courage. And no more Hell’s Wheels.” he said, looking into the night sky.
“And what about Darkhorse? We’re not of their kind.” I said to him. Dan, I knew, would agree with me.
“You’re right, of course. I’ve been thinking about that all day. We come from different origins. Both of us. Darkhorse has always been an enemy to all people. All they’ve ever wanted is death. But what is death without power? Nothing. When all is said and done, we will be rid of all names. The only thing that will be left is the feeling of unity behind our cause.” I shook his hand in agreement and took aim. Bang, Bang.
Jackie
“It ain’t too far from here. Just a little ways away. See that light?” Bruce whispered, pointing ahead of us. Sure enough, in the distance was a ranch and some lights. Only, there seemed to be something weird going on. There was movement, as if there was a whole group that had mobilized in front of us.
“What is that?” I asked.
Bruce got out the binoculars and squinted. “Looks like some kind of training going on. I can’t be too sure though.”
“Whatever the case, we better keep quiet and in the dark. There’s gonna be guards swarming the place.” I said.
We walked as quickly as we could, avoiding detection at all costs. It wasn’t just about staying alive at this point. It was about making sure Rust stayed alive. If we were caught, there was a high chance they would go ballistic and kill us all. At this point, with all the drugs they were loaded up on, it was hard to say what they would do.
We reached the side gate to the ranch in less than ten minutes. With our backs to the metal, we looked at each other to make sure we were on the same page. A guard was patrolling the area, but I knew what to do. As he passed our still bodies, I jumped up and wrapped my hand around his mouth and neck, twisting with full force. The man was practically killed instantly. “Come on,” I motioned. “time to save our man.”
We ran inside the compound and found that the place had more than a few armed men guarding the doors to the inside. I looked left and right. “Shit.” I whispered. “What do we do?”
“We gotta go for it.” Bruce said. “I have a smoke and flash grenade, but that’s about it. It might be our best shot.”
“No. We can’t afford to waste those yet. We gotta take the men out by the door without causing any alarm or upset.” I looked inward, trying to think of the best way in. Think, Jackie. Think! There was no grand plan. We had to act fast. I grabbed a small rock and threw it ahead of me. It smacked and ricocheted off a nearby pole. Thwack!
“Hey, you hear that?” One of the men by the doors asked.
“Yeah, let’s go check it out.” Another said.
Together, they all walked away, leaving the entrance wide open. Bruce slowly walked up behind them and tapped their shoulders.
“Expecting me?” he whispered, slashing their throats clean. They fell onto the ground in a pool of blood. “Bastards.”
As he was cleaning his knife, I peered inside the building. First thing I noticed was that there were a lot of familiar faces inside. Only, they looked different. They looked like soldiers whose eyes had grown hollow and defunct. They still smoked, drank, and talked loudly, only there was no normal laughter left. Instead, it was replaced with evil cackles and paranoid looks.
And then Don walked by, followed by … Rust?
I practically said his name out loud. It was Rust. Only, he was wearing their arm band, sporting the gorilla logo and everything. “What the fu
ck?” I whispered, waving at Bruce to come over and look for himself.
“Son of a bitch.” he barely said aloud. He grabbed at his gun and aimed at him.
“No!” I whispered. “What the hell are you doing? That’s my husband you’re about to shoot.”
“Alright, alright. I’m sorry, but what the hell are we supposed to do now? This changes everything.”
I pressed my hands against my forehead, feeling the weight of all that had happened thus far stack against my shoulders. “I don’t know, Bruce.” I shook my head, eyes watering up. “Maybe he’s just faking it. You know, maybe he’s got a plan.”
We peered inside again. This time Rust was laughing with him, loading a weapon together. It was as if they were partners in crime. Best friends even. “Jesus Christ.” I moaned. “Look, I can’t do this. I have to take a step back and think for a second.”
“There ain’t no time for anyone to think. We need to act. Now!” And in a fit of rage, Bruce grabbed his smoke and flash grenades and threw them inside. Boom!
“Go!” he screamed, putting on infrared goggles and rolling inside. I trailed behind him, gun drawn. I put on a pair as well as the gorilla bikers strained their eyes to see against the blinding light and fog.
The men around me were all targets. One by one I shot my gun. Almost instantly, they all fell to their knees. “RUST!” I screamed, searching the house.
“You dare attack us like this?! You cowards!” A voice yelled from the other room. I recognized that voice from anywhere. It was Don.
“Don! Come out with your hands up and we just may spare your life!” I screamed.
“Spare his life?” Bruce asked me. “Fuck that! We’ll kill you both!”
“I’d love to see you try!” Don said, almost excitedly. “But we have a little plan of our own. Don’t we, Rust?”
“Rust?! You in there?” I yelled. My baby. Oh, God.
“Leave. Just leave. If you don’t, I’ll be forced to cut your limbs off. One by one.”
“Rust, don’t let them get inside your head!” I yelled. “It’s me. It’s Jackie. Your wife. Don’t you remember?”
“That was a ploy!” he exclaimed. “You think I wanted to be married to you? It was a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less. Now I told you once. I won’t say it again. I forced you into this and you know it. Leave me!”
“We’re not going anywhere without you.” I said, throwing down my weapon.
“What’re you doin’?” Bruce said, scrambling to aim his gun.
“Rust, I set my gun down. Please come out. Just talk to me.”
“There’s nothing left to say. They’ve won. Now give up or pay the price. This is your last warning.” he said. My heart sank. Was this really the man I fell in love with?
“I love you.” I admitted. “I really love you. If you can’t love me back, there’s no reason to live any longer. Go ahead. Shoot me. Leave me to die.”
Rust walked into the center of the room, holding two sub machine guns out. “Shoot her, Rust!” Don cried out.
“Rust, it's me. Remember?” I calmly said. A single tear rolled from my eye, down to my cheek.
“I can't.” he said, blankly.
“What're you waiting for? Shoot her right in the head!” Don shrieked.
I walked up to Rust and grabbed both of his guns, forcing the barrels against my head. “Do it. Just do it. I dare you!” His hands wrapped tightly around the triggers. His gaze was steady and determined. “Goodbye.” I whispered. I closed my eyes and began to think about all the good times we had together. I thought about the future too. All those things I thought would happen together, crumbling before my very eyes. This was the end.
But in a single second, his eyes changed. His pupils grew small and his muscles seemed to relax. “Jackie.” he said, as if his rage had completely subsided. Then he fell to the floor. Bruce and I both took off our goggles, running over his lifeless, spasming body.
When he saw this, Don grabbed his gun and ran out the back door. “No you don’t!” Bruce yelled. He aimed his gun and shot in front of him. “Got him!”
Sure enough, a bullet pierced through the back of his shoulder. Don dropped a flash grenade, leaving us completely blind. “Where is he?” I cried out.
“He's gone, God dammit!” Bruce yelled. There was nothing to do, other than give up the fight.
I grabbed him and threw his arms over my shoulders. “Come on. Help me pick him up.”
“Better to leave him to die.” Bruce muttered, yet he grabbed his legs and helped me carry him outside the house.
“Shut up, Bruce. Just shut the fuck up.” I turned my head to whisper to Rust and said, “Stay with me, baby. Just stay with me, okay?” It was a long walk back, but if we just made it to Glen, he might live through this. Or so I hoped.
Rust
The pain. Oh, fuck, the pain. It radiated throughout my body, within my veins and bones. This is what a loss of power felt like. I needed more. If I didn't get it, I knew I would die, plain and simple.
“Get him in here. Now!” I heard a voice say. I was dehydrated, dizzy, and foaming at the mouth. I was still conscious, though how much longer was debatable.
“Help him, goddammit!” Another voice said.
“Bruce? Jackie?” I cried out, unable to move my body. The pain was searing and unbearable.
“Shh. You need to rest, Rust. Just stay still.” A woman's voice whispered. It was Jackie. The love of my life. My saving grace. Hallelujah.
Well, they placed my body onto a table and shined a light against my pupils. “What do you see doctor?” Bruce asked, while pacing the room. I strained my eyes to see who he was talking to. Glen. Shit, he wasn't gonna be able to save me. No one could at this point. It felt like a wave of one hundred fevers hit me directly in the heart. Death was imminent.
“It's not good.” he admitted. “He's fading fast.” How could someone talk about your well being right in front of you? If I was dyin’ I didn't want to know. When the time came, I’d face death head on in one last battle of the ages. The battle for my life.
“What do you mean he's fading fast?!” Jackie cried, tears spillin’ down onto my body. I began shaking from the cold of my fever. “Rust, baby. Wake up! Please! Do it for me.”
“I'm sorry.” I managed to say. “They made me. They injected me, those spineless fucks.”
“I know they did. It’s okay. None of this is your fault.” she told me, running her beautiful hands through my hair. God. If you're out there, let me live. I'll quit this life. I swear to all that's good, I'll quit. I just want one more chance. I need to live this life out with Jackie. I need to know what that joy feels like.
“I might be able to fix him.” Glen said. “But it's a dangerous method.”
Jackie wiped the tears from her eyes. “How dangerous?” she asked.
“We’ll have to stop his heart with an injection.” He said. There was a lifetime of silence before he continued. “I know what it sounds like, but it's the only way. There's a chemical I have developed that is the only known counteracting agent against this new drug. It's our only chance to bring him back. He’ll die otherwise.”
Jackie looked at Bruce. She was a wreck, ready to give up her life for me. Bruce did his best to console her. “If it's our only option, we should do it.” he said. Jackie nodded slightly. “I know it's hard, but what other choice do we have?”
“Just do it.” she said, looking away. “I can't watch. I'm going to be sick.”
“She's right. You're all right. Do it. Stick the fucking needle in me!” I managed to spit out.
Jackie leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I was delirious and wrecked, but her warmth somehow gave me hope. “I love you.” she said one last time. I gave her a wink and my best smile, though it took all my energy to move any muscle.
“Goodbye all.” I whispered. Glen slammed the needle down into my chest. I felt a flood of euphoria and pain. My eyes went black and I lost all sensation. Perfect. I felt
absolutely perfect. And then I was gone, completely torn away from this world.
Jackie
“Is he dead?” I asked, in a state of total shock and concern. I grabbed at his arms and tried to look for a pulse. Nothing. He felt cold and empty, like he was gone forever. Maybe he was.
“Don't touch him!” Glen yelled, pushing me away. “This is an extremely touchy procedure. As far as I know, I am the only one to have ever performed it. If one small thing interrupts the process, he could die!”
Tears were streaming down my face. I was hysterical. I screamed at him, “So you're just going to leave him there? You're going to leave him to die?”
“Calm down, God dammit!” Bruce screamed. Even he looked distressed, although he wouldn't admit it.
Glen guarded Rust with his life. “You fools! The counteracting agent is coursing through his body! He needs time and space from the world. It was a mistake to let you guys stay.”
“I'm sorry. I'll back off. I'm just emotional, I guess.” I muttered, feeling confused and embarrassed. I had already lost my father. I had lost my crew. I lost my pride. Was I now going to lose the love of my life as well?
“Come on. Let's get some fresh air.” Bruce suggested.
We walked outside and stared into the bright and dusty sunlight. Although it was technically filled with life and possibility, the whole landscape bore the look of death. It was disgusting. I had to get away. Rust and I had to.
“Push past this.” Bruce was saying. “It's just a part of this life. No one ever said it would be pretty. But at least we fought back, right?”
“Push past this? Are you really giving me that bullshit logic? You of all people, Bruce, know better than to try and feed me that crap. We chose this life, plain and simple. The only thing left is to ask whether or not we want to continue livin’ it.”
“You saying you want out?” he asked, biting his lip and stroking his beard.