FIELD MARKS AND RANGE The armadillo looks like nothing else on the road and is unlikely to be confused with any other similarly sized animal. Its appearance is more nearly the same before and after flattening than any other road creature. Unlike all other mammals in the guide, the armadillo has no extensive fur covering. It most closely resembles a small tank, with hinged armor plate covering the head, body, and tail. In a few cases, when severely flattened it might resemble a large turtle, but the presence of even a single ear will distinguish it from any shelled reptile. The ears may be three inches long.
Armadillo (Dasypus novemcinctus)
An armadillo is one of those few creatures of any size that looks much the same on and off the road. The illustration on the right shows the curled, ineffective, protective presentation favored by some armadillos.
The armadillo has spread from Mexico since the 1850s, often helped along by travelers who carry them in cars for some distance.9 They cannot survive any period of cold temperatures and will probably never be present anywhere north of southern Nebraska. Highways in rural parts of Texas and the Gulf Coast states are its preferred habitat.
Skunks (Mephitis mephitis and several related species)
20 × 12 inches, with a heavily furred 12-inch tail
HABITS AND ABUNDANCE This peaceable, gentle creature has refused to come to terms with highway traffic and continues to behave as if roads, cars, and trucks do not exist. Armed as it has always been with an odorous repellent strong enough to turn away any potential predator, it hops along totally unafraid, which is as fatal as overly aggressive behavior on the road. Its response to any threat is to turn its back and raise its tail in the air. The experienced predator retreats at this point, but cars generally behave with less intelligence. The skunk is not a hibernator, but it will sometimes den up with a few buddies during the colder months. It has been reported on the road during every month of the year; its occasional wintertime wanderings are most likely a response to spending too much time with a dozen sleeping skunks and sorely felt need for some fresh air. Most skunks are stay-at-homes; but during February and March, males scour the countryside every night for female companionship; and during late summer and autumn, juvenile males wander about looking for a place to spend the next few years.
FIELD MARKS AND RANGE Although olfactory clues are seldom significant in identifying road creatures, the skunk is a dramatic exception. It is obvious for miles along the road when a skunk is on its way to flat. When flattened into its permanent road form, there is seldom any odor, and some of the finest specimens will be missed if you come to depend on this single clue to its presence. The color pattern is unique, consisting of strongly contrasting black and white patches. The stripes may be longitudinal or sometimes spiral, if the skunk has been on the road for some time.
Skunk (Mephitis mephitis)
After a few days on the road, the skunk commonly assumes the position shown in this illustration.
The several species of skunk occur in every part of the U.S. and are more obvious on the road than any other creature. You never forget your first skunk, and even the fiftieth can be memorable.
Badgers (Taxidea taxus)
30 × 20 inches, with a 5-inch furry tail
The badger is the only North American mammal that at first glance looks as though it was designed for life on the road. It is flat, wide, and very low to the ground, vaguely resembling a miniature, multicolored sports car. Appearances are deceiving in this case: The badger is better designed for death than for life on the road.
HABITS AND ABUNDANCE Upon encountering a human, a badger will most often stand its ground for a few minutes, snarling and hissing. Upon encountering a car, a badger will usually behave the same way. Badgers are large and strong enough to fear little from most predators, but a Double Eagle (Goodyear) tire will get them every time. Digging is a daily activity for most badgers, as they move regularly over hundreds of acres, digging up the ground squirrels and other small animals that constitute their primary food. So much movement brings them onto the road frequently, and their aggressive nature often keeps them there permanently. When a badger genuinely wishes to escape from danger, its usual response is to dig in. Its powerful legs and long claws can put it below ground in seconds—unless, of course, it happens to be on a cement or asphalt surface, where such a survival response has little to recommend it.
FIELD MARKS AND RANGE All road badgers are flattened dorsi-ventrally. They are so nearly flat already that it is almost impossible for a badger to be on its side. The usual road specimen has mostly grizzled fur, with strong black and white markings at the pointed (head) end. The short tail is not prominent. This is the only road animal smaller than a bear with claws big enough to be seen at 50 mph. The digging claws at the front end of the animal are near the main part of the body and are nearly as long as the legs. Its legs are short and are located at each corner of the basically rectangular shape.
The badger is present on roads from the Great Lakes region to the West Coast, and from Canada to Mexico. It is one of the most abundant carnivores on the road, exceeded in number only by rabbits, raccoons, skunks, muskrats, and opossums.
Badger (Taxidea taxus)
The badger is the largest, flattest creature to be found on the road. Some are larger and some may be flatter, but nowhere else are those two characteristics so combined.
Jackrabbits, Antelope Hares, Snowshoe Hares
(Lepus californicus [black] or Lepus townsendii [white tail], Lepus alleni, Lepus americanus)
24 inches × 6–8 inches
These large hares are abundant and active year-round over most of the western U.S. In warmer climates the legs and ears are both noticeably longer than in the more northerly parts of their range. At times these animals will have the highest population density of any road mammal, with hundreds of flat rabbits scattered along a few miles of two-lane road. (See record on this page.)
HABITS AND ABUNDANCE Although they may live for many years in captivity, in the vicinity of roads (i.e., almost anywhere in the U.S.), 60 to 90 percent of juvenile hares survive less than a year. The young are precocial and can run, feed, and die independently of adults almost from the moment of birth. They appear to receive little parental instruction on the hazards of the road and most often freeze into immobility when frightened. The lights of a car or truck will often fix a jackrabbit to its place on the road even before the wheel arrives to put its permanent stamp on the location. Older hares are in less danger, since they are likely to run, and can achieve speeds of up to 35 mph. Even adults sometimes overestimate their capacity to avoid danger, however, and find themselves half an inch high and roughly rectangular. Jackrabbits often use exactly the same trails repeatedly, and the same highway location will often sport several hares in succession if the traffic lane bisects the rabbit lane. Death in the fast lane is a way of life for many rabbits.
FIELD MARKS AND RANGE At least one of the large ears (up to eight inches long) will usually show in almost any road presentation. An object of a generally grayish or brownish hue, with what appears to be more than four appendages, is almost surely a jackrabbit or a near relative. Being larger than most of the road fauna and not at all compact in shape, the road jackrabbit has a greater tendency to spread out, disconnect, and scatter its parts than many of its smaller and more nearly square companions. The southwestern species are particularly likely to be found in several lanes at the same time, partly the result of their speed and partly the result of the speed of traffic.
Nearly every state west of the Mississippi River has jackrabbits, and nearly any stretch of road in open country will harbor a few year-round. These are never found in cities, except occasionally in the outer reaches of Los Angeles.
Jackrabbit (Lepus species)
The illustration is meant to convey the form of a jackrabbit that has kept itself together, more or less. Commonly, jackrabbits will be separated and spread out somewhat. Part of the animal may be presented laterally, and part do
rsi-ventrally.
Porcupines (Orethizon dorsatum)
20 × 14 inches with a 10-inch long-haired tail
HABITS AND ABUNDANCE The porcupine generally lives out its eight to ten years in peaceful solitude, bumbling along from tree to tree, crossing the road only to get to the other pine. While porcupines are not what could be called agile climbers, they do spend a lot of time in tree tops feeding on bark. On the ground they are clumsy at best and at worst seem to have little idea where they are headed. As is characteristic of animals that do not feel threatened by most predators, they have relatively poor eyesight. A car at a distance of more than fifty feet is probably not recognizable to even an auto-wise porcupine. They have good hearing and respond readily to nearly all sounds but that of an auto horn. Their reaction to a threat is to erect the sharp quills that cover the back and tail, and to flail the air with the tail. Such an act will deter even the hungriest wolf or wildcat, but does not slow down a Mustang or Jaguar. (Quills can, and should, be removed from tires with a pair of pliers. If left in place they will work their way to the heart of the radial and may cause serious deflation.) The young porcupines are independent of their mother after only a few weeks and are most likely to be found on the road at that time. They do not hibernate and may become part of the road fauna in any season.
FIELD MARKS AND RANGE The porcupine is the largest animal that can be flattened on most road surfaces. A mature adult may weigh up to thirty pounds, but most of the road specimens will be the young of that year and only half that size. The hair is extremely long, longer than the quills, and the animal may seem larger than the dimensions given. Individual hairs may be eight inches long, and their light-colored tips and darker roots may give the animal a grizzled appearance. Often a specimen will mimic a clump of dirt with dark straw extending out in all directions.
Coniferous forests are the preferred habitat, but the range extends into the grasslands of Nebraska. Porcupines are found over most of North America except for the southeast and south-central parts of the U.S.
Porcupine (Orethizon dorsatum)
It makes little difference how a porcupine is initially arrayed on the road; it quickly assumes a nearly square silhouette, with the legs barely visible. The bristles and tail identify it regardless of orientation.
Raccoons (Procyon lotor)
20–30 inches × 12–16 inches with an 8–10-inch, striped, bushy tail
Because of the black mask on a usually whitish face, the raccoon looks something like a bandit (highwayman would be a more appropriate nickname). Raccoons are almost always equal to skunks in the number found on the road.
HABITS AND ABUNDANCE Curiosity is a dominant trait in both the young and the adult raccoon. It is the sort of impulse that might cause a raccoon to stop and stare at a new model of car on the road, thus producing most of the adult flat raccoons. The breeding season is long, and males travel extensively in search of receptive females from January to almost June. Any mostly nocturnal animal is likely to respond inappropriately to sudden light, because until the twentieth century night was not interrupted by anything more dangerous than lightning. And since most raccoons travel at night (before midnight), they are frequently on the road for several days thereafter. The young of the year (from two to five per litter) begin nocturnal traveling and feeding with mom about August. They often follow in a line behind her, with the smallest trailing at the end of the line. The last in line is most often the first to be flattened on the road, and many of the road raccoons are the small, slow tail-enders.
FIELD MARKS AND RANGE The five to seven dark rings on the bushy tail are the most reliable and durable single road feature. The black facial mask is only visible in some orientations, but if there are patches of black at the opposite end from the striped tail, you are surely looking at a raccoon. Larger raccoons, which may weigh up to sixty pounds, are too large to flatten even on the busiest roads. Only rarely will any animal that large develop a recognizable silhouette. The illustrations on the following page are suggestive rather than descriptive. During late fall and early winter, when the pelt is at its greatest thickness and toughness, even some of the largest road raccoons will develop the characteristic teardrop form, with black patterning at the pointed end and the striped tail at the other.10
Raccoons occur throughout the U.S., southern Canada, and Mexico. They are rare to absent in the higher altitudes of the mountainous West.
Raccoon (Procyon lotor)
Raccoons are a little too thick toward the tail to flatten well. The illustrations presented here are a bit more like vertical projections of what is found on the road. A two-dimensional raccoon is truly rare. Even after most of the raccoon has disappeared from the road, the remaining tail will be a persistent reminder of where the animal was.
9 There are documented examples of them showing up briefly far north of their usual range, being carried there in autos. Like turtles or small ducks, they are temporarily interesting, but make very poor pets.
10 If you see what appears to be a small raccoon with a tail at least as long as its body, and if you are in Texas or the Southwest, you are looking at a ringtail (Bassariscus astutus), a near relative of the raccoon with similar habits.
Bibliography
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“Stay with me on 62 and it will take you into Concord. As I say, it was a delicious evening. The snake had come forth to die in a bloody S on the highway, the wheel upon its head, its bowels flat now and exposed. The turtle had come up too to cross the road and die in the attempt, its hard shell smashed under the rubber blow, its intestinal yearning (for the other side of the road) forever squashed.”
— E. B. White, “Walden,” from One Man’s Meat
Flattened Fauna, Revised Page 8