For the Love of Suzanne

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For the Love of Suzanne Page 14

by Hudecek-Ashwill, Kristi


  She felt bad, watching him pant a little as he dug the deep hole. The woman had obviously been his friend and now he was burying her. A wave of sadness passed over her. She wanted to ease his pain.

  She went back to the cave and got a canteen that was full of water and took it to him, finding him still digging in the pit that was getting pretty deep now. She had sympathy for him and knew she owed him an apology.

  He looked up at her when she came back and took the canteen from her and took a drink. “Thank you,” he murmured and drank a little more before putting the cap back on and handing it back to her.

  “I’m sorry, Cody,” she said sincerely. “I had no right to say those things to you.”

  “It’s okay,” he said as he mopped his face with his handkerchief.

  He easily lifted himself out of the pit, picked up the body of his friend and gently laid her in it. He covered her face with his handkerchief and pulled his rosary beads out of the front pocket of his pants and knelt beside the open grave. He wrapped it around his hand, leaving the small metal cross dangling. He then folded his hands, bowed his head, and began to speak in a soft, shaky voice:

  “The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

  Suzanne had known all along that Cody wasn’t an ordinary man as she found herself on her knees beside him, watching him weep without shame. She had never heard Psalm 23 recited so beautifully. She joined him in his tears and his grief.

  A short while later, she sat a fair distance away from Lame Bird’s grave and watched Cody cover her body. She felt bad for him and wanted to comfort him, but he’d told her he didn’t want to talk and she respected that.

  While she watched him, her thoughts moved to Mika. She hadn’t seen her in the village. She wondered what had happened to her. But then she’d never really seen the village and her stay there had been short and unpleasant. Maybe Mika had been adopted by one of the Indian families and would have a good life. She doubted the Indians would hurt a child. Regardless, anything was better than working at a bar and brothel at the tender age of six. Mika had always stayed out of sight from Annalee and her working girls, but Suzanne knew that the young girl's future was that of a working girl. It would just be a matter of time.

  She wanted to ask Cody if he knew what had happened to her, but would wait. Now wasn’t a good time to speak with him about anything. He needed to grieve.

  ~~~

  Cody hated to move Suzanne so soon after her illness, but knew there were more men behind Red Dog. If Red Dog had found them, the others would, too. There would undoubtedly be a blood bath and he would not be victorious. He was surprised that they hadn’t caught up with them yet.

  He was sorry about Lame Bird and wondered how it was that she’d been found and dragged to the cave, and wondered if the other women were faring well. He figured they’d all been killed and Lame Bird had been used as bait. Red Dog had never been known for his compassion and despised the white people as much as Chief Tall Deer had.

  When he did some exploring, he found her horse and figured she’d come alone. The horse carried food and water. There was no sign of a struggle, making him think that she and Red Dog had either arrived at the same time or that Red Dog had tracked her, knowing she would come to Cody.

  He tried not to blame himself, but if he’d acted a little quicker... been more alert... she might still be alive. She never should have come back, though. She should have gone on with the others, although he wasn’t sure they’d made it, either.

  Suzanne was sitting in the shade of a rock, coughing and wheezing again. She drank a little bit of water and tried to relax, but was having problems breathing.

  Cody watched her as he loaded Red Dog’s horse with their supplies. She’d had a quiet night, but was beginning to sound bad again. He could hear her breathing laboriously as she clutched her stomach and was leaning over on her knees.

  She was hot, but she couldn’t go back into the cool cave. There was too much blood and she’d never had a strong stomach anyway. It had been a struggle going in for the canteen of water for Cody, but was necessary. She didn’t want to go in again.

  He knelt beside her and touched her hair. “Can you ride?”

  She looked up at his handsome face. “I think so,” she said hoarsely.

  “We have to leave,” he said apologetically. “If there was one, there are more.”

  “I’ll be okay,” she said with confidence she did not feel. She rose to her feet with his help and looked up at him. “I’m sorry about Lame Bird,” she said sincerely and turned to walk away.

  He watched her sway unsteadily and hoped she was okay. “Yeah, me, too,” he murmured to himself and followed her.

  Chapter 27

  For the next three days, Cody and Suzanne rode north into the mountains where the weather became very harsh. The wind blew from the north and it was snowing, slowing them down from a destination they didn’t even know.

  He was worried about her. With the harsh conditions and her illness, she became very weak. He led the two horses as he held her in the saddle with him. She’d fallen asleep and had nearly fallen off her horse, so he’d pulled her onto his and had wrapped her in a blanket that had been on Lame Bird’s horse. She’d had nothing warm and he was glad he’d had the presence of mind to take Lame Bird’s moccasins off her and give them to Suzanne. He knew she was too cold and her feet were colder yet.

  Suzanne woke up when a frigid gust of wind hit her in the face and began to cough hard while she shivered uncontrollably. It seemed she’d been cold for a lifetime. She longed for a hot bath and a real bed, but didn’t complain.

  He pulled her closer, wrapping the blanket tighter around her. He was cold, too, but her body was keeping part of him warm. Still, it didn’t dispel his worries that they could freeze to death before they found any—or he could make any— shelter.

  The wind blew with a vengeance, blowing snow into the faces of the horses that snorted irritably. All three horses were working hard to pull themselves and their loads through the deepening snow and they were tired.

  He’d never named a horse, but figured his was special. They’d been through a lot together and seemed to read Cody’s mind and anticipate his every move. He didn’t falter even with the two of them on his back and had a powerful loyalty to his owner. Cody was still working on making him less skittish, his only fault.

  He decided to call him Titan.

  Cody had won him in a poker game just a few weeks before he’d picked Suzanne out of her burning machine. They had bonded immediately. Since then, they’d been hunting, riding for pleasure, and had been in battle. He was steadfast and true and trained to come to a whistle.

  The soldier from whom he’d won the immense animal had been drunk and an easy play for Cody. He hadn’t minded taking his money, but was ready to quit when the soldier bet his horse. He had more than one horse and really didn’t need another one. He could only imagine the one that was being bet was a rundown old nag and refused to play. But the other man had begged him for a chance to get his money back. Reluctantly, Cody played the last hand and beat him with a pair of deuces and a pair of Jacks. The soldier had one pair of aces and had wept when Cody left that night on his horse with his saddle. Cody had felt bad for the man since it was such a supreme animal, but didn’t give him back. The horse was his now and he was grateful.

  “Can we stop for a minute?” Suzanne asked Cody from under the blanket.

  “The snow is deep here. Can you wait for a little bit?�


  She nodded and peeked out from beneath the blanket to see the snow was blowing almost horizontally and the wind was bitter. How could he stand this?

  Cody perked up when he thought he smelled smoke and stopped the horses and rested for a moment, trying to catch the scent again and make a determination as to where it was coming from. It was there, but it was so windy, he couldn’t really tell. He had to find the source. He thought, if there were people nearby, they would have a cabin and have food, water and shelter for Suzanne. He felt her shivering against him and knew she was cold and hungry even though she hadn’t said anything.

  He set the horses directly into the wind with hopes of running into the source of the smoke when one of the trailing horses stumbled and nearly fell, but was able to right itself and plunge through the deep snow with the other one. Titan had reared back a bit, but nobody was thrown or hurt.

  “Whoa there, Injun,” a male voice called from behind him and he heard the hammer pull back on a gun and stopped.

  He looked over his shoulder at what should have been a man, but who looked more like a woolly creature of some sort, with the thick beard and mustache and the bear coat he was wearing. He had a buffalo rifle pointed at Cody.

  The man came closer, still holding the gun on Cody. “Ain’t you a little far from home?” he asked in an unfriendly tone.

  He looked at the tall disheveled man. “No,” he said calmly.

  “What ‘cha doin’ in these parts?” he asked suspiciously.

  “I’m hunting,” he lied easily, wishing the man would lower the gun. “But I haven’t seen anything but a bunch of trees and a whole lot of snow.”

  “Boris, what the hell are you doing?” a female voice rang angrily from behind the man.

  Cody turned Titan enough to see an older woman with a weather-worn face, who was dressed just like the man whom she’d called Boris, with deerskin leggings, a bear coat and a raccoon hat with the tail going down her back.

  “We got us some company here, Marda,” he called back to her.

  She caught up with him and looked up at Cody, surprised to see that he was an Indian dressed in white man’s clothes and was handsome at that. “Oh my,” she said in awe.

  “Ma’am,” he greeted politely and tipped his hat to her.

  “Hello,” she said breathlessly. “I’m Marda Clayborne and this rude man is my husband, Boris.”

  “Glad to make your acquaintances,” he said congenially. “My name is Cody Black Fox.”

  “Cody,” she echoed with a smile that revealed broken, rotting teeth. “What an interesting name.”

  He returned her friendly smile and gave her a nod of acknowledgment.

  “You steal these horses?” Boris asked loudly, still holding the gun on him.

  “No, sir,” he replied easily, offering no explanation as to how he’d acquired them.

  “Boris, put that damn gun down before you hurt somebody,” Marda scolded her husband indignantly and looked at Cody again. “We have food and a warm place to stay, if you like.”

  “Oh yes, ma’am,” he said with subdued eagerness. “We sure would appreciate that.”

  She gave him a careless wave. “It’s nice to have some company. We never see anybody up here, you know. Come on. Our cabin is right up the path a ways.”

  Cody would have offered her a ride on Titan, but he didn’t; he was sure he was keeping Suzanne as warm as she was keeping him, and she desperately needed that.

  Boris walked beside Cody, eyeing him with distrust.

  “Do you trap, Mr. Clayborne?” Cody asked Boris conversationally.

  “In the spring. We manage to do a fair business, but we’re done for the winter,” he growled and noticed Suzanne’s foot hanging down by the calf of Cody’s leg. “What ‘cha got under that there blanket?” he asked suspiciously.

  He knew there was no point in hiding Suzanne, not that he wanted to. He just didn’t know how to explain their relationship. “My wife,” he said quietly. They would have to pretend to be husband and wife for awhile…until she was well enough to make the trip back to the scene of her burning contraption. They were more than a few days away from it now, but he was determined to get her back there.

  Marda turned with a look of surprise on her round, wrinkly face. “Wife?” she echoed in surprise.

  He nodded. “Yes, ma’am,” he said meekly. “She’s very sick and with child.”

  “Well, let’s get her inside and into a warm bed,” she said and started to hustle through the deep snow, leading the way across the short distance to the cabin that had a barn a few hundred yards away from it.

  “Boris, you tend to the horses. I need him to help me with his wife.”

  “Whatever you say,” he grumbled.

  Suzanne was delirious from the cold and her fever was back. She was so weak. She slept a lot and hadn’t awakened earlier when the Claybornes had confronted Cody, but she did feel him lift the blanket off her face and shake her gently.

  “I need to get off the horse, honey,” he told her softly. “Try to hang on until I can get you. Okay?”

  She nodded weakly, but couldn’t muster the strength to move away from him.

  He steadied her as much as he could then leaped off the back of the horse.

  She threw the blanket off herself. “Don’t leave me, Cody,” she wept suddenly.

  He caught her as she fell off the horse and grabbed the blanket. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he assured her as he covered her again.

  She cried out as her broken arm got tangled, but he was able to free it and gather her close as she sobbed. “I’m so sorry, honey,” he said in a tormented voice as his heart was breaking. She was a mess and it was his fault. She was battered, her arm was broken, and now she was freezing to death.

  “Bring her in here, Cody,” Marda said gruffly from the open door of the cabin.

  He trudged through the deep snow and up the three steps to the door, carrying Suzanne as she wept helplessly against his shoulder.

  Marda pointed to a bed in another room. “Right through there.”

  “Thank you,” he said gratefully. He carried her into the cold room, laid her on the bed and sat beside her. “It’s going to be okay now, honey,” he said in a hushed voice.

  Marda came in still wearing her coat. “I’ll get some water going for her so she can take a bath. There’s some wood by the fireplace so you can build a fire and get warmed up,” she gestured to a stone fireplace in the wall that had a lot of wood stacked beside it.

  “Thank you,” he said politely.

  “I’ll get some water,” she murmured and walked away,

  Cody heard the door slam and knew she’d gone outside. He stood up and took off his heavy duster and spread it over Suzanne before building a fire, needing warmth as badly as she did.

  Suzanne sat up, pushing the duster and blanket off. “Where are we?” she asked hoarsely, looking around the room.

  He went to her and sat down. “We’re at the Clayborne’s cabin. The woman is going to get you a bath and they’re going to let us stay here, hopefully until you’re well.”

  She began to shiver uncontrollably and pulled the blanket back to her chin. “It’s cold in here,” she said breathlessly and began to cough.

  He could see his breath. It was definitely cold, but still warmer than being outside in the driving snow and the bitter wind. He pulled the duster back up to her chin. “I’ve got a fire going,” he told her softly as he bundled the stuff around her. “Just give it a little time,” he said patiently and dropped a kiss to her feverish forehead.

  Marda came in through the open door and saw that Suzanne was shivering. “Oh, the poor dear,” she said sympathetically. “Bring her out here by the fire, Cody.”

  He stood and helped Suzanne to her feet only to have her fall against him, dropping the blanket to the floor.

  She tried to bend over and pick it up as he did and, despite his efforts to keep her standing, fell to her knees. “I
’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass,” she said sadly, holding onto his shoulders, looking into his dark eyes. “Maybe you should just let me die.”

  He could see that she wasn’t coherent and pushed her hair back affectionately. “I’m not going to do any such thing,” he told her in a quiet voice and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders again.

  “I haven’t done anything but cause you trouble.”

  “I’ve caused you more trouble than you have me,” he said so only she could hear and kissed her bruised cheek. “Come on. Marda has a fire going in the other room.”

  She shuffled along beside him to Marda, who guided her to a blanket-covered rocking chair near the fire. Cody covered her again with his duster, wishing again that he’d left her by her machine. He had caused her nothing but pain and misery and now that her baby was dead, he’d cost her more than he could ever repay. How would he make it up to her? It wasn’t like he could say he was sorry and replace it. It had been a child with a soul and a spirit and something she’d created with love with her husband.

  To think about it was an exercise in futility. There was no way he would ever be able to make this right. The best he could do would be to take her back to where he had found her. That was all he could do and hope and pray for the best.

  In the meantime, they were snowbound in the Rocky Mountains.

  Chapter 28

  The men left Marda and Suzanne alone while Suzanne bathed in the kitchen with Marda’s help.

  “Is Cody beating you?” Marda asked Suzanne as she sat in the big tub of hot water and helped her to wash her hair.

  She shook her head. “No. Cody would never hurt me,” she said drowsily.

  “You’re bruised and battered with a broken arm and burnt hair. I’m sure you didn’t do that to yourself.”

  She shook her head again. “No, but Cody didn’t do it. He would never hurt me,” she said softly as she dozed in the water. “He saved me and I love him. He’s so sweet and gentle and strong and fierce…” she trailed off.

 

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