She blew out a breath as she combed her fingers through her hair. It was an impossibly sexy gesture. He didn’t think she realized it. In fact, he knew she didn’t. His groin tightened painfully.
“Perhaps. But it’s what I was raised to do. Our mothers planned it when we were toddlers. I’ve never known quite why, except that I believe my mother and Queen Zoe seemed to think it was the perfect way to ensure the purity of the Santina dynasty.”
“The purity? Isn’t your father Greek?”
“Yes, but my mother is from Santina originally. Though I don’t believe that is the sort of purity they had in mind. It is more of a tradition thing. Someone from another country might not … suit the Santina expectations. They are, as you may have noticed, quite conservative in their thinking. Very traditional. For my parents, it was an honor to have me chosen as the future queen.”
“And it never occurred to you to object,” he stated.
She shrugged. “Why would it? That was no doubt part of the plan. A girl raised to be a bride, a queen, would not question it, would she?” She shook her head. “Changing everything now—doing what I want to do, as you put it—is a bit like being marooned here with you. Not at all what I expected.”
“And did you expect to be here in your knickers?” he teased, though he did not feel like laughing. “What a singular experience, sweet Anna. Think what you will be able to tell your grandchildren.”
She looked up sharply, and he wanted to bite his tongue off. Now was not the time to mention progeny to the woman who’d thought she would bear the heir to the throne of Santina some day.
“I think,” she said very softly, “that I’ll simply see how today goes before I start thinking of the future.”
Leo leaned back against a tree trunk and watched her. She was so elegant, so graceful, even in her underwear. She should have been a queen. She was the right woman to be a queen. Anger buzzed in his veins like an electrical pulse.
She’d accepted her fate so easily, resigned herself to being a king-in-waiting’s future bride. And he suddenly wanted to know if it’s what she would have chosen for herself.
“Did you love him, Anna?”
Green eyes brimming with emotion gazed at him steadily. The desire hovering beneath the surface of his psyche flared to life again, its heat scorching and painful. Because it would not be fulfilled. Because he couldn’t allow it to be fulfilled.
But Anna pulled at him. Her eyes, her skin, her dark, beautiful hair. Her presence. The wounded woman beneath the buttoned-up suits and dainty femininity drew him in a way that continually surprised him.
He didn’t want or need anyone. And yet he wanted her. He always got what he wanted because he never gave up until he won. But this time was different. This time, he had to walk away instead of conquer.
“You asked me that already,” she said softly. But she didn’t look away, didn’t dissemble in the way she’d done only a few hours ago.
“And you didn’t answer,” he replied.
She bit her bottom lip and a shot of lust bolted straight to his groin. He wanted to bite that lip. She looked so damn demure in her lacy pink underwear and pearls. Had he ever experienced such a crazy situation in his life? Marooned with a virgin on a deserted island. A virgin who had his libido slipping into overdrive and his body humming with suppressed sexual tension.
“I was,” she finally said. “Or I thought I was. When you spend your entire life preparing to marry one person, you start to believe you might love him.”
It was an answer, and not an answer. He found it strangely frustrating. “What do you feel now that he’s marrying my sister? What bothers you more, the fact you’ve lost him or the fact the media won’t let you forget it?”
She seemed to think about it for a moment before answering. “I thought those feelings were all tangled together, but maybe they aren’t. Because I don’t hate Allegra, and I don’t hate that Alex is marrying her. I hate what it’s done to me, how I feel knowing I’ve wasted so much time preparing for something that won’t ever happen.”
She shot to her feet then and Leo thought she looked like an Amazon. A petite Amazon, but a fiery one nonetheless. She looked as if she could chew nails for breakfast. He wanted to laugh. Anna was fiery, passionate. She locked it away beneath her suits and her pearls but the woman was a warrior in her soul. A dragon lady.
Her eyes flashed fire. And then she swore long and loud in Greek. Leo leaned back and watched it all happen, amazed and aroused by the display of so much passion. Hell, if she weren’t a virgin, they’d burn up together. She’d know what she was getting into and he wouldn’t feel in the least bit guilty for taking advantage of her passionate nature.
“I am tired of being the last person everyone thinks about,” she said. “I’m tired of doing what’s expected of me, of trying so hard to be the best at whatever task I’m given. I’m tired of keeping quiet and bearing it all with a serene smile. I’m tired of following a list of rules that have been drummed into me since I was old enough to talk, and I’m tired of—” here she pressed both hands to her chest “—and I’m tired of being a cold, frigid person that no man wants to touch passionately. I want passion, Leo. I want love and heat and sex. I want it all. And I want it now.”
CHAPTER FIVE
ANNA’S body was on fire. With fury, with lust, with so many feelings that she couldn’t contain them all. He was right, damn him. She didn’t really love Alex. She’d thought she had, but she was far angrier over the way she was being portrayed in the media than she was over the fact she would never be the Queen of Santina.
And she was angry with her parents, with the Santinas, because she felt like she’d let them all down by failing to capture Alex’s heart when it had never been hers to capture. Not that they’d said anything or chastised her for it, but she felt that way nevertheless. She knew what their hopes had been. Their dreams.
And it was all lying in ruins now.
Alex had never given her a reason to think he loved her, never given her anything beyond the courtesy she’d deserved as his fiancée. He’d never led her to believe there would be love between them.
She’d filled in the blanks on her own. She’d taken his quiet acceptance of their arranged marriage as tacit approval of her and of their future together.
She’d been so blind, so dumb. So damn obedient.
She was through being obedient.
She was through doing what everyone expected.
She was through.
Leo was still leaning back against the tree trunk, though he looked anything but casual in that moment. He was watching her with interest. Hot, sharp interest. As if she were a dessert he wanted to devour. As if she were a cold drink of water on a hot day. As if she were a lifeline in a stormy sea.
She was none of those things, but she thrilled to that heated look on his handsome face. She had never, ever been looked at like that before. No man had ever made her tingle like this, or made her limbs soften and ache. She was jumpy, itchy, her skin stretched too tight to contain everything she felt. She would burst with it if she didn’t do something soon.
But what? She’d told him she wanted heat and sex and passion right now—and she did, but she was also scared of it. Scared to take the leap and crash and burn instead of soar. It was not like her to leap without a solid plan, without a safety net. It went against everything she’d ever thought about herself.
“Anna,” Leo said, his voice edgy and taut.
And she knew then, before she’d even made up her mind about what happened next, he was refusing her. Without another word, without anything else passing between them, she knew he was rejecting her. Leo didn’t want her. Alex didn’t want her. She wasn’t desirable, in spite of the way Leo had held her earlier, his body hardening against hers. It had been an illusion, a reaction brought about by proximity and not a true craving.
And the way he’d looked at her just now? Clearly, she was no good at reading the meaning behind his expression. She�
��d been wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
A fresh wave of humiliation washed over her. Was she truly that clueless? Truly that blind?
Tears of frustration, tears of anger, filled her. And she would rather do anything else than cry in front of this man. She would gut fish for a living before she would let him know how shattered she was by his rejection.
“I can’t do this,” he said, and the tears pressed hard against her eyes, demanding release. “I can’t take advantage of what you offer, no matter how much I might want to.”
“Don’t,” she bit out, her voice sharper than she’d ever allowed it to be. “For goodness’ sake, don’t lie to me.”
His expression grew stormy. “You think I’m lying about this?”
She laughed, the sound harsh and bitter. “Of course you are! I know who you are, Leo! I have eyes! I saw you this morning—you hadn’t even been to bed when I knocked on the door, or at least not to your own bed. When you want a woman, you take her, especially if she offers herself to you.” She wrapped her arms around her torso and tilted her chin up. Her lip was trembling badly. “I must conclude then that you do not want me.”
He swore. “Dammit, you are dense,” he grated. “I’m trying to be decent—”
“I don’t want you to be decent!” she yelled. “I don’t want you thinking for me or telling me what to do. I’m sick of that, sick of everyone thinking they know what I need more than I do!”
“You’re acting on impulse,” he growled. “And that’s not like you. For pity’s sake, think. I’m not what you want.”
“How dare you,” she threw at him. “How absolutely dare you? You’re the one who has badgered me since the first moment we met about being my own person, about doing my own thing, about being too uptight and buttoned up and … and … rigid.”
“Anna….”
“No,” she yelled. “No!” It was too much suddenly. She turned blindly, before the angry tears that hovered on the edge spilled free, and fled toward the sea. It was only a short distance before she was leaping off a small cliff and into the cool blue water. The tiny cuts on her feet burned anew, but she ignored the pain. She’d treated them with antiseptic from Leo’s survival kit earlier, and this didn’t burn any worse than that had.
She dove down, down, down, testing her lungs, letting them ache before she turned and kicked hard toward the surface. The sun filtered down into the depths, making the water above ripple and sparkle. It was so quiet down here, so peaceful. She could stay down here forever if only it were possible. Down in the depths of the ocean where pain couldn’t touch her. Where no one pointed a finger and laughed at her. Where she wasn’t pitiful, but isolated from pity.
She kicked again, realizing she’d gone somewhat deeper than she’d first thought she had. The surface wasn’t too far, and she wasn’t worried about reaching it, but nonetheless a pair of strong arms enclosed around her body and yanked her skyward.
“Are you insane?” Leo demanded when they breeched the surface together. Anna gulped air, the hot burn of it expanding in her lungs. If felt so good to breathe after she’d denied herself for so long. Almost like learning to live when you’d denied yourself the very basics of life—like passion and love and sexual heat.
Anna threw her head back and laughed. This was what it was like to be alive. This … this—rebellion. Yes, by God, rebellion. She’d never rebelled in her life, never questioned her fate or her teaching. She’d done everything they asked, been everything they’d told her to be—
And it hadn’t been good enough. She’d failed at the one task they’d set for her.
And she didn’t care. Dammit, she didn’t care! It was liberating not to care.
“Anna!” Leo cried, gripping her shoulders and shaking her hard. They treaded water together, their limbs brushing each other. Each brush was like the stroke of a tiny flame against her skin. His body was hard against hers, his skin hot where the water was cool. He was so very alive, so vibrant, so large and real and here.
She wanted to live in the moment for once in her life, wanted to forget about the past, the future, and just be.
“Let me go, Leo!” she cried. Because she didn’t want to be held against him like this, didn’t want the shame of knowing how badly she’d embarrassed herself with him. She’d had enough embarrassment to last her a lifetime. If he let her go, she could float on her back and laugh up at the sun and tell herself she didn’t care about anything at all. Not anymore.
“Why did you do that?” Leo demanded. “You could have hurt yourself!”
She slicked her hair back from her face, tilted her chin up defiantly. “Because I wanted to. Because I never do what I want. Because I always do what everyone else wants. Now,” she said, her jaw tightening. “Let. Me. Go.”
Leo’s fingers dug into her ribs. It was exciting, thrilling. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are when you’re angry?” he growled.
Her heart skipped a beat. Her stomach clenched tight. “No, don’t you dare say that,” she lashed out. “You don’t want me. You said so.”
“I never said that,” he grated. “Never. What I don’t want is to take advantage of you.”
Anna laughed recklessly. “How can you take advantage of me if it’s what I want?”
His dark eyes flashed. His hair was slicked to his head, molding the fine shape of his skull. His face was hard, handsome, perfectly beautiful. How had she ever, ever thought Alex handsome when Leo was in the world?
“You aren’t thinking like yourself,” he said. “You’re reacting to everything that’s happened. Taking what you offer wouldn’t be fair. Have you forgotten that only this morning you refused me?”
Her cheeks burned. No, she hadn’t forgotten— but everything had changed in the space of a few hours. She was tired of being staid, boring Anna. She was ready to be—if only for a little while—exciting Anna who did what she wanted and didn’t regret it.
“God, you are arrogant,” she breathed. “So certain you know what’s right for me. For the world, I’ll bet. But you don’t, Leo! I will decide what’s best for me. From now on, I’ll decide. Isn’t that what you said? What you told me to do? How can you turn around now and say I’m wrong?”
His expression hardened. His fingers burned into her. His skin was on fire. Her core flooded with heat, her nipples hardening as he brought her closer. They’d drifted toward the rocks, the gray smooth rocks that she’d dived over in her flight. Nearby was a long strip of white sandy beach.
“This is different,” he grated.
“Why? Because I’m a virgin? Because you’re worried I’ll want something from you that you can’t give me?”
He looked stunned for a moment, and she knew she’d hit home. It hurt in a way, and it was also liberating. Yes, Leo Jackson, notorious playboy, was afraid that the jilted bride was looking for a replacement husband. How terribly insulting.
It made her feel bold, wild. Reckless in a way she’d never been. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his torso. His eyes glittered, something very dangerous springing to life in their depths. “You’re playing with fire, sweet Anna.”
“Maybe I want to get burned.” It was the most irresponsible thing she’d ever said, and she felt so free saying it. Defiant.
Leo brought her closer then, his hips flexing against her. Her breath caught, a tiny current of cold fear threatening to douse her in reality. She was indeed playing with fire.
Because he was hard, the ridge of his impressive erection riding against the thin layer of her panties. Anna nearly swallowed her tongue. What was she doing? Was she really so brave? Was she ready for this? Could she abandon herself for a few hours on this island and then go back to Santina—and Amanti—as if nothing had ever happened?
Maybe.
Or maybe not.
But she was determined to find out. They could have died when the plane crashed into the sea. She would have died without knowing passion. That thought more than any other spurred her forward.
“I’m trying to protect you,” Leo said, his voice strained and taut. “I’m no good, Anna. I won’t offer you forever. You have to know that.”
She thought of him this morning in his tux with the pink lipstick on the collar. He was a playboy, a rogue, a man for whom pleasure was a supreme goal. He winked and smiled and charmed, and women fell into his bed.
But maybe that’s why he was the right man for this. He knew what he was doing. She was wildly attracted to him. When they were rescued, they would go their separate ways and she could concentrate on building her life anew. With whomever she wanted. However she wanted.
She was free for the first time in her life. Free to make her own choice. And though it was one of the most frightening things she’d ever done, she was choosing Leo. For now.
“Who said anything about forever? I’m asking you for your body, nothing else.”
His expression was tortured, even while the flames in the depths of his eyes leaped higher. “Anna,” he said gruffly as she flexed her hips against him. Sensation streaked through her at the contact. Oh, if she just kept flexing her hips and rubbing herself against him.
He gripped her waist in his broad hands, and she realized he’d moved them toward the beach and could stand on the bottom now. “You’ll regret it,” he said. “Today, you might want me, but tomorrow you’ll be sorry you gave yourself away to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Save yourself for a man who loves you, Anna.”
Anna threw her head back and blasted the air with a few choice words in Greek. “Stop trying to save me from myself,” she finally said. “I’m a grown woman and it’s past time I did what I wanted to do. I’ve been saving myself for one particular man for years. And it’s caused me nothing but grief!”
Leo closed his eyes and muttered a curse. And then he was moving with her, taking them up the beach until he laid her down in the wet sand and came down on top of her. A sliver of excitement ricocheted through her as his body pressed into hers. She tilted her hips up, her sex aching with need as sweet sensation hummed inside her.
The Girl Nobody Wanted Lynne Raye Harris Page 6