by Melissa West
I pull away so I can see him clearly. “I will. I promise. But what about you? Aren’t you going to be training, too?”
Jackson stands tall as a pair of Ancients enters through the main doors, their eyes on us. “No. I’m the instructor.”
I lower my voice. “You mean, you’re teaching me? You’re my teacher?” This has to be a joke. More Ancients enter, their expressions full of curiosity. I focus on Jackson so I won’t worry about what they’re thinking.
Jackson bites back a smile. “I’m not your teacher, Alexander. Beginning today, I’m your boss.”
“My boss?”
An Ancient walks over dressed in a dark brown T-shirt and pants, his build and demeanor projecting that of someone in a leadership role. “J.C. is there a problem?” he asks, his eyes on me.
“No problem. I will be there in a moment. Alexander here is a new assignee.”
The man nods slowly. “All right. Well see you inside.” He turns for a set of double doors behind him, but glances back twice at us before disappearing through the doors. I close my eyes and draw a breath. This is going to be painful.
“Okay, J.C. where do I go?”
He crosses his arms and smiles. “Through those doors. You’ll see the others getting set up.”
I give him one more fleeting look before slipping through the double doors. The room is nothing like the entryway to the Vortex. Where it was all bright and shiny and clean, like a lab back home, this room is rugged, the walls wooden, the ceiling high. There are windows cut into the ceiling, letting in the only light in the room outside of a few wall lamps affixed on each of the walls. Situated in the center of the room are rows and rows of pillows, most already full of boys and girls, all appearing to be around my age. The floor, outside of the pillowed seats, is a basic concrete, and glancing around, my first thought is that this room is unforgiving in every way. It’s meant to teach you to stay on your feet. Hit a wall or the floor, and you’re sure to leave the room covered in bruises or blood. There is no learning by practice here. You learn quickly or your body suffers the consequence of your delay.
I sit on the last pillow closest to the back wall, my legs crossed. No one speaks, most either staring forward with their eyes trained on the opposite wall or their eyes closed, their mouths moving in some silent prayer.
A door on the opposite wall opens and Jackson enters, followed by two Ancients who are twice as big as him and at least six inches taller. They flank him on his right and left side, locking their hands in front of them.
Jackson doesn’t smile at the group or hint at any form of kindness. He has a calmness to him that is unsettling, the quiet just before a storm. “You are here because some sliver of existence within you says that you are a born fighter. That you will put your life before others, and stand when others fall. Whether this analysis is correct is yet to be seen, but over the next two weeks we will push you in ways you have never imagined. We will wear down your body. We will challenge your mind. And when we’re done, and you’re begging for relief, we will push you still more. Only then, when you are at your weakest, will we know if you are truly meant to be an RES. For now, you are assignees. You have no privileges here. You will enter my building and come to this room each day. Do not speak to anyone unless spoken to. Do not venture into other parts of my building. Do not breathe unless I give you express permission to emit that breath. Am I understood?”
The group rises without him issuing an order and I stand, my mouth gaping. I have no idea how to react to this Jackson. He’s cold, distant, not at all the Jackson I know.
Though I guess I really don’t know him at all.
“There are two elements to our training—internal and external manipulations. We will work on an element of each daily. For today, we will challenge both.” He motions to the guard who walks to open the back door. Six more guards enter carrying stacks of wooden circles that look like wheels, each at least five inches in width and fifteen inches in circumference. They sit the stacks in front of us and exit back out the door they came in through. “Women will each take one, men two.” We all stare at him, waiting for another command. “Well go on. I don’t enjoy repeating myself.”
The group steps forward, each of us grabbing our wooden wheels, and then returning to our spots. Jackson starts for the door, and again we wait, but I now know that he expects us to move without him commanding us, so I step out of line to follow him, the others hesitating for only a moment. We make our way back outside and down Gaia Road, the sun bright above us. Jackson points at the wall of flowers that borders all of Triad. “The Healer’s Wall was erected years ago to protect Triad from outside threats. Now, it operates as a line between life and death, reminding us that outside our walls, there is nothing, no one, only a dying land. Today, you’ll walk that line from the fields to Juniper Gardens.”
Murmurs of surprise and worry course through the group.
“But that will take all day,” a boy calls.
Jackson turns back for the Vortex. “Then I suggest you get started.”
I force myself to head for the wall without looking at Jackson. I don’t want anyone to think he would show me any more kindness than the others. Now I know why they were watching us with such curiosity before. Most of these Ancients know Jackson as the next Logean leader. They have probably never seen him act so casually with anyone.
I reach the wall and turn right, the sun beating down above us in violent waves. I wish he would have told me we were doing this today. I would have dressed in lighter clothes, like shorts and a tank instead of pants. I reposition the wheel in my arms, wondering what would happen if I left it here and picked it up when I made it back around.
“Is it true?” a voice asks from behind me and I turn to see a girl rushing up to me. She’s smaller than me, just over five foot I would guess, but her arms and legs show strength. “I’m Madison,” she says with a small smile.
“I’m—”
“Oh, I know who you are. Everyone does. You’re Ari.”
I shake my head. “What do you mean? How does everyone know who I am?” I start back down the line of the gate, feeling unsettled. I have a long way to go and don’t want to waste any time.
“You came over with J.C. He went back for you. It’s really romantic if you ask me.”
I stop and look at her. “Jackson and I aren’t together. He’s…” What exactly?
“See, you call him Jackson. No one calls him Jackson except his grandparents.”
“Well…” I am at a complete loss on what to say. I don’t know J.C. I don’t see him as the leader he is. To me, Jackson is…I don’t know, more boy, less man, but the longer I’m here, the more I see him with others, the more I realize maybe he was never a boy.
We continue for several minutes in silence, both of us repositioning our wheel from time to time. My biceps have begun to burn already and I wonder how I’ll make it all the way around Triad without dropping it or taking a break.
I glance over the wall to a wide sprawl of mountains in the distance. They are dark, haunting, not at all the look of mountains back home.
“That’s the Alikaia mountains. They used to have a gate in the wall with a path that led to them, but that was years ago. I don’t really remember what they looked like before.”
“Before what?”
“Before the water dried up. Before all the trees and grass died. There’s nothing there now, just rock.”
I eye the mountains as we pass by, curious what else used to exist here on Loge before everything began to die. “So, you don’t have much here, huh? Triad, I mean, it’s smaller than I imagined.”
She considers me for a moment. “We have all we need, I guess. Everything is handmade here, and all our food is grown. And then there are things brought in from the other regions, of course. It’s not so bad really.”
My eyes travel from the field we’re in to the woods just ahead of us. “Do we go through the woods?”
Madison shrugs. “He said
to stay with the wall, so I guess. The woods aren’t so wide though. We should be through them quickly, and then we’ll go past town, past the factories, past the Taking Forest, and then finally to the Juniper Gardens.”
“How long do you think it will take?”
Madison grimaces. “All day.”
…
I slip through the front door of our house so many hours later that I’ve lost count. It took Madison and me all day, as she had said, to reach the Juniper Gardens, and when we arrived it was so dark I couldn’t make out anything but the stars above us and the two giant moons shining down, reminding us of our misery. I was glad Madison walked the wall with me, and by the time we finished, I knew that her mother was a healer, and that she wanted to be a healer, too, but wasn’t born with the gift. Her father was pleased when she was assigned to become an RES, he himself one of the many factory workers. She said pride was important in Triad, many working hard and studying to try to evoke some of those skills into their deeper selves in hopes that the healers would pick up on those traits and assign them to RESs or government work.
I sit my wheel down beside one of the chairs in the common room and force myself to go out to the shower, desperate to wash away the day. I let the water run over my face, the water as hot as I can stand it. Once again, I stay there far longer than is likely appropriate, but I don’t care. I need the break, the relief. Especially if I’m now supposed to go see Zeus.
I reluctantly make my way out of the shower and to Jackson’s room, wishing I could crawl into bed for a few hours of sleep before everything starts again tomorrow, but I know that Zeus is expecting me. I open the door to find Jackson already there, fully dressed, waiting.
“He’s expecting us.”
I nod.
“I’ll just…” He stands and slips past me, causing my cheeks to flush. After today, it’s strange to see him so casual.
I change quickly and peek my head out to let him know it’s safe to come back inside.
“How are you feeling? I know it’s a lot. All assignees are required to walk the wall on the first day. It’s sort of a tradition. Something about reminding us what we’re fighting for. Anyway, I was going to have you skip it and go see Zeus, but I thought he would get suspicious.”
I nod again. Somehow sure that if I speak at all, I’ll either complain or cry, so I just sit there, waiting for Jackson to say something else. He doesn’t so I just say, “Let’s go.”
Chapter 6
Jackson and I walk the entire way to Zeus’s building in silence. We reach the doors and he stops me, my hand midmotion to the door. “Are you sure?”
I smile a little. “It’ll be fine,” I say, though I know the words are as much for my sake as his. And then for no reason other than the need to feel his strength, I lean in and hug him tightly. “I’ll be fine.”
Jackson walks me to Zeus’s office, hesitates, then dips back to the stairs. He mouths, I’ll be right here, then closes the door, leaving me alone to face Zeus. I lift my hand to knock just as Zeus’s office door opens. “I’ve been expecting you.”
I step inside and take in my surroundings. Dad once told me a wise attack is one where you know your exits. From what I can see there are four doors inside his office, including the one I just came through. I make a mental note that there may be guards stationed outside each of the other doors. Or they could be closets. I had no idea.
Zeus walks over to the wall of windows behind his desk, no doubt the windows Jackson was referring to when we discussed the plan. I feel the gun against my calf, tucked just inside my left boot, and draw a breath. Should I do it now or wait? Zeus presses a hand against the window. It’s dark outside, only a few lights in the distance give away that we’re in a city. He stays in the same position so long, with me standing a few feet away, neither of us speaking, that I begin to wonder if I’m being tested or if he’s expecting someone else to join us. But with each passing second, I feel my heart rate increasing, my nerves twisting into a pretzel. I consider asking about Triad, as Jackson suggested, and then the Operative in me takes over and I reach down for the gun, just as Zeus turns around. I kneel quickly, pretending to adjust the buckle on my boot. Sweat collects on my forehead and I have to draw a quick breath before I stand.
“What are you doing?” Zeus asks as he walks toward me.
I clear my mind, my face of any emotion. “It’s taking me some time to get used to your clothes here. They fit differently than what I’m used to.”
Zeus considers me. “Take your boots off.”
“Sorry?”
He steps closer. “Remove your boots. Now.”
“I wasn’t aware that you had a no-shoe policy in your office,” I say, buying time. If I remove my boots, he’ll know. He may already know. I glimpse around at the doors again. I could shoot and run. I’m a solid shot. Even if I can’t get a kill shot, I would injure him enough that he wouldn’t be able to dial for help, but he could still speak, and if he yelled they would know something happened. Then the healers would get to him before he bled out. An injury shot wouldn’t work, it has to kill him.
This processes through my mind in a second, all while I try to maintain my stress-level. Any increases in my levels, and he would interpret my thoughts. I have to keep them shadowed.
Zeus tilts his head to the side and I can tell he’s trying to puncture through my thoughts. I’m preparing myself that this is about to get bad and fast, when Zeus’s door opens and Jackson comes in, shock on his face. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were still meeting.” Zeus gives him a look that could make children cry.
“Is there something you need?”
Jackson stands tall, so at ease that if we weren’t in such a dire situation I would bow down to his efforts. He’s so much better at this than me. “Yes, you’ve been requested at the Vortex. Another outbreak.”
Zeus glances from Jackson to me and back, each second like watching a wild animal preparing to attack its prey. “Very well,” he finally says. “We will continue this tomorrow.”
I hesitate, unsure if I’ve been dismissed or what. Jackson nods toward the door for me to go and I start for it, when Zeus calls out. “Tomorrow, no boots.”
I am down the stairs and out of his building so fast I feel sure my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I don’t stop until I’m back at the house, inside Jackson and my room, my breathing labored. He definitely knew something was up. But did he know what?
Jackson comes through the door a minute later, looking as jarred by the whole thing as me. “Are you all right?” he asks as he places his hands on my face.
“Yes. But he knew something was up, didn’t he?”
Jackson sits down on the bed and rakes a hand through his hair, then over his face, before finally glancing up at me. “I don’t know. He had guards waiting outside the room. I think he suspected, but he wasn’t sure of what exactly. That was close. Too close.”
“Was there really an uprising?”
He sighs. “No, but the guard refused to disagree with me in front of Zeus, so he said they had contained it.”
I lay back on the bed, allowing my breathing to relax. “Jackson?”
He turns to me. “Yeah?”
“Why are you okay with this? I mean, he’s your grandfather.”
“You don’t know him the way I do. If you did, you’d understand. It’s late. We should get some sleep.” He shuts out the light and I pull off my boots and place the gun under my pillow. I think back to him at the Vortex, how controlled he was, how you could tell they wanted to impress him.
“What?” he asks. I hadn’t realized I was staring at him.
“You were unbelievable today,” I admit, embarassed to say it out loud. “The way they responded to you, respected you. I had no idea…”
He slumps against his pillow on the floor. “It’s the name, Ari, not me.”
I lean over the side of the bed, holding his gaze. “No. It was you, all you.” I lay back down before I give away just
how enthralled I’d been with him. I fumble with my covers, my eyes on the ceiling. “So, what now? We try again tomorrow?”
“No. We come up with a new plan.”
Chapter 7
The next day, Jackson walks me to the Panacea for a required check with Emmy before RES training. He doesn’t mention Zeus all morning, and I find myself wishing we would talk about the new plan already so I could stop worrying about it.
I notice the other Ancients watching us as we walk along the path that borders the Cutana River, and I find myself wishing I would have asked to go there alone. I don’t want the others to assume he’s going easier on me, not because I’m worried about how they’ll view me. I don’t want to jeopardize the respect they have for him.
Emmy and I walk out the back of the Panacea and down the back steps into the Juniper Gardens below. Jackson left at Emmy’s insistence that she needed to observe me on her own, which at first made me nervous, but now I’m grateful.
In front of us is nothing but row after row of flowers that smell so sweet they hit me like a spray of perfume the moment we near. To the far left I can see the factories that make everything we use for daily life. And then to the right I spy what I had been most curious about since coming to Loge. It is a forest full of trees, all the same size and shape, all perfectly spaced. A wooden sign stands post at the front of each row, each with a number on it, though from this distance I can’t make out what the numbers are or determine what they might represent. I know what the forest is without having to ask.
“Those are Taking trees, aren’t they?” I motion to the forest, curious what it would have looked like just before the Ancients came to Earth to Take. The trees function as hyperspaces between Earth and Loge, which allowed the Ancients to travel between planets during the Taking. I imagine Ancients lined up in their designated rows, disappearing into the trees like magic. Now, it reminds me of a closed store back home, dark and lonely, desperate to be open for business.