by Kaylee, Katy
I narrowed my eyes.
“And he says that internships are reserved to people with the highest merit ... which Hollie doesn’t necessarily have. My husband doesn’t just hand things out to family members. He worked hard to get where he is.”
I felt a brief flash of anger. “Hollie worked hard, too. She is working hard.”
“My husband says that she should have been interning since before she went off to college,” Krista said. “And that she should have had an internship every summer, as well as taking a more active interest in extra-curricular activities.”
“With all those internships, how the hell would she have the time for any extra activities?” I asked.
Krista didn’t reply.
“I don’t understand what this has to do with me,” I said.
Krista got up from the table and walked closer, until I could smell the familiar perfume she’d always worn. It was a heavy, Oriental scent, and the smell of it took me back.
“I don’t want to hurt Hollie,” Krista said softly. “I don’t want to disappoint her. She’d be crushed if she knew. She thinks my husband is already going to help her ... she even told me about it last night.” She cleared her throat. “Could you help me, you know, like you did during the divorce?”
I frowned. “So ... you want me to play the bad guy again,” I said slowly. “And sugarcoat the real reason you left?”
Krista shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
“You want me to pretend that you weren’t interested in the money and status that marrying a rich surgeon came with?”
Krista pressed her lips together.
“I might have done that once, to save her relationship with you,” I said. “But I’m not going to do it every time you come running to me.”
Krista pouted. She came even closer, running a finger down my arm. “Please,” she said, batting her eyelashes and using the same cajoling tone that she’d used when we’d been married. Strangely, now Krista only reminded me of a slightly smarter version of Madison Maxx, my fake stripper ex-girlfriend who begged and pouted and pleaded with her feminine charms to get her way.
It suddenly hit me: she didn’t give a shit about me, she was only going to try seduction to convince me to help her, to convince me to help her spin how her new husband was rejecting Hollie.
Inwardly, I froze.
20
Paris – Thursday
“You’re so out of shape,” Hollie teased. We were standing to the side of the Lakefront Trail, watching the slow, placid waves of Lake Michigan beat against the concrete bulkhead. The sun was shining overhead and my whole body was drenched in sweat as my chest heaved from the effort of trying to keep up with my best friend. Hollie had asked me along on a run that morning, and I’d felt as if I couldn’t say no – I’d been feeling so guilty about keeping so many secrets from her, I’d really wanted to make an effort to renew as much of our friendship as possible.
“Not everyone can be you, Hol,” I teased back. I reached for my water bottle and took a long drink. The water was only lukewarm tap water, from Harrison’s kitchen faucet, but it tasted better than I’d ever thought possible.
Hollie grinned at me. She flipped her sweaty brown ponytail over her shoulder and put her hands on her hips. “We should keep this up during the year,” she said. “I know it’s hard at first, but it feels so good. I really think it’s gonna help me deal with all the stress of trying to get into a good med school, you know?”
I nodded as the sick feeling returned to my stomach.
“I mean, I’ve been talking to Mom, and I think she and her new husband can help me,” Hollie continued. “I mean, he’s like, a really good doctor, and he’s famous.” She pressed her lips together and frowned. “I hate the idea of asking him, since I don’t know him all that well, but Mom keeps saying that it’s going to be a good thing for me.”
I didn’t know what to say. The idea that Hollie’s mother, Krista, had voluntarily left Harrison for another man – an ancient surgeon, of all things! – was horrifying to me. Harrison was the best man on the planet.
Clearly, Krista was insane.
“What about you?” Hollie asked. “Are you looking into any grad programs for counseling? Oh, we should think about trying to go to the same school if we can ... that way, I don’t have to worry about finding a new roomie!”
As she talked on, I felt my stomach twist into knots of uncertainty. All of this time, I’d been trying to avoid thinking about what I’d do when it came time to return to school. I hadn’t been able to get another job, not even a minimum wage retail gig, and I had no idea how I was supposed to break the news to Hollie. Now that Harrison knew, it felt as if a large weight had been lifted from my shoulders, but I still dreaded telling my best friend.
“Hey,” Hollie said, her grin fading. “You okay? You’re being really quiet.”
I nodded. “I think the heat is just making me sick, to be honest,” I told her. “I should probably go home and take a cold shower.”
Hollie nodded. “You mind if I go on ahead?” She asked.
“Of course not,” I told her. “Why would I?”
Hollie flushed, and I suddenly had the suspicion that she hadn’t just dragged me running because it was helping with her stress. She had broken things off with the guy she’d been seeing, and I wondered if she’d already found someone new, some fit athletic guy who loved to run. In a way, I envied her. Hollie hadn’t been held back by a deep, unabiding love for one man for ten years. She was free and young, and men loved her.
She didn’t have to worry about her fate hinging on rejection.
But ever since Harrison and I had talked, I’d been feeling cautiously optimistic. We hadn’t slept together since, but we’d shared a few, tender moments that had almost felt more intimate than sex. Harrison was my world, and I desperately hoped that he’d come to realize the depth of my feelings for him ... and return them.
“I’m going to head back,” I told her. “See you later, okay? Be safe.”
Hollie grinned and stuck out her tongue at me. “Like, duh,” she said, nodding her head at me before breaking into a jog and continuing along the concrete trail.
I could have taken the bus back to Harrison’s Lakeview house, but instead I walked along the trail. Gulls squawked and cawed overhead, and I watched as groups of fit, young housewives pushed expensive strollers while they speed-walked along. They looked so happy and polished and secure.
I wondered if I’d ever find that. I knew Harrison was much older, but I wanted to give him a second chance at love, at life. I wanted him to know that no matter what, I’d always be there for him.
By the time I got back to the house, I was feeling hotter than ever. Sweat kept dripping into my mouth from my upper lip and my sunglasses slid down my face no matter how much I pushed them back up against the bridge of my nose. I let myself into the house and paused in the foyer to reach down and unlace my trainers.
When I heard the voices in the kitchen, I stopped cold. I recognized Harrison’s voice right away, and there was another voice – a sultry, older female voice.
I froze when I recognized it: it was the voice of Krista, Hollie’s mother. I frowned, wiping my brow as I wondered what on earth she was doing there. Deciding that I shouldn’t be eavesdropping on a private conversation, I attempted to sneak up the stairs.
Then I heard Hollie’s name, and stopped mid-way up the stairs.
“I don’t want my relationship with my baby girl to suffer,” Krista said, almost flirtatiously. “Won’t you help me? You don’t want her to hate me, do you?”
Harrison snorted. “Look, Krista,” he said. “I might’ve taken a bullet for you during the divorce, but I can’t let you manipulate me any longer.”
I couldn’t help myself – turning around, I snuck back downstairs and peered into the kitchen. Krista was standing close to Harrison, her tanned hand resting on his brawny arm. As she leaned in for a kiss, I felt something pierce my
heart.
“You shouldn’t think that way,” Krista murmured. “It’s not manipulation, Harrison. It’s just good parenting. I don’t want to lose my daughter.”
My stomach churned. Was that what Krista wanted, to rekindle something with Harrison?
And did he feel the same way?
Krista pressed her painted lips to Harrison, and my heart leapt into my throat. But after just a second, Harrison put both of his hands on Krista’s arms and moved her away from him.
“If you’re worried about your daughter’s opinion of you, maybe you should consider what you’ve done,” Harrison said coldly. “I helped you before. I played down how badly you wanted to be rich, and I didn’t mention how you cheated on me before you even told me that you wanted to leave.”
Krista didn’t reply, but I saw her pouting.
“And you were the one who dragged our daughter into this. You told her that you felt neglected and unhappy and ignored. I didn’t correct her when she came to me and told me that. I’m not going to do that again. You made your choices, Krista.”
“That’s not fair,” Krista said accusingly. I saw tears spring into her eyes.
“If your asshole husband doesn’t want to give Hollie a recommendation, so be it. I’ll do my best to help her out, despite being a lowly detective,” Harrison added sarcastically.
Krista’s shoulders slumped, and she scowled and turned away from Harrison. She walked over to the garage door and put her hand on the knob. Just as she was about to open the door, she turned back to face her ex-husband.
“You’re not the man I married, Harrison,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.
“You’re right,” Harrison bellowed loudly. “I’m not. And I’ll never be that man again, thank god. I’m never going to marry again, I’m not some toy to be manipulated by a woman. You never meant your vows to me, and you fucking know it.”
Krista scoffed. She opened the door, went into the garage, and slammed it behind her. As quickly and quietly as I could, I jogged up the stairs and let myself into the guest room, closing the door behind me.
I felt guilty about what I’d overheard – but what did it all mean? Hollie had been so bubbly over the last few days, talking and talking about how her mother and her new stepfather were going to help her with recommendations ... had her mother been lying?
And as much as I loved Harrison, I had no idea how he was supposed to help Hollie get into med school. It would have been one thing if she’d wanted to go to a police academy, or even become a detective like her father. But the connections Harrison had were decidedly blue-collar.
Hollie was going to be crushed when she found out, that was for sure. As I sat on my bed and pulled off my running clothes, I vowed to myself that I’d be as good to her as possible. I wanted to support her. And even if she didn’t get into a top med school, I was confident that she could still realize of being a doctor.
The only thing I felt even remotely nervous about was confessing the truth about my own fate. How was I supposed to help her open a practice if neither one of us had a chance at meeting our goals?
I pursed my lips and blew a steady stream of air at the ceiling. Taking my phone out of my runner’s armband, I laid down on the bed, enjoying the cool feeling of the duvet against my sweaty, hot skin. My heart was still racing from my run, and I narrowed my eyes as I started scrolling through my Instagram feed. Just as I was about to put my phone down and get into the shower, an alert popped up.
Reminder: register for classes by 8pm!
I bit my lip and groaned quietly, then opened the calendar app and held my thumb over the alert, preparing to delete it. As I did so, I realized the month was entirely blank, with no little dots on any of the days.
A chill ran down my spine. That was strange. I flipped back to the previous month, and the one before that. Like clockwork, there was a dot roughly every four weeks or so.
But I hadn’t made one in weeks and weeks.
My stomach twisted into painful knots. I counted back, week after week, and realized that I hadn’t gotten my period in three weeks.
I’d never been late. I’d never been one of those girls who had been caught on campus without a tampon or a pad, and I’d always been meticulous about tracking my own cycles. I knew it was possible to have a late period because of stress, but I’d dealt with a lot of stress ... and it had never, ever been late before.
Was it just because this summer had been more stressful than usual? It was true that I’d been through a lot. Stripping, Angel, my feelings for Harrison ...
And then again, I’d been running, too. Hollie had offhandedly told me once that sometimes really active people didn’t have their periods as often, but I had a gut feeling that that wasn’t it. Hollie was the truly active one, not me – I just tagged along to make her happy.
I hadn’t actually had any symptoms of a period, now that I thought about it. I hadn’t had cramps or headaches or nausea, and I hadn’t spent my usual three days fighting the urge to scarf down as much chocolate and candy as possible.
But my breasts were sore and tender. I’d assumed that was just from running, just because I couldn’t ever find a sports bra big enough to fit me, but now I started to seriously worry.
I’d been moody. I’d been crying all the time. But that’s just because of Harrison, and my feelings for him, right? I thought, swallowing hard.
As much as I tried to rationalize it, I was suddenly filled with dread. I practically leapt off the guest bed and yanked on my running shorts and a loose t-shirt. Grabbing a baseball cap, I pulled the brim low over my sweaty head and snuck down the stairs. Thankfully, Harrison wasn’t in the kitchen, and no one noticed as I snuck out the front door and jogged down the street to the pharmacy.
The Walgreens was crowded, and I tried to slip unobtrusively down the aisles, searching for what I needed. When I realized that they kept all “family planning” products behind the counter, I groaned, then dutifully got in line. It took twenty minutes before a register opened, and by that time I was practically peeing myself out of sheer anxiety.
“Can I help you?”
I pointed to a box of pregnancy tests. “Two brands, please. The most expensive ones.”
The clerk raised an eyebrow. “Congratulations?”
I had to resist the urge to glare at her.
“Do you want a bag with these?”
I nodded. Duh, I thought, watching as she rang up the two pink boxes emblazoned with silhouettes of pregnant woman lovingly cradling their bellies. The clerk handed me the bag and I darted out of the store with the brim of my cap still pulled low over my face. I didn’t want to take tests at home and risk Harrison – or worse, Hollie! – finding them in the trash, so I went into a Starbucks and bought the cheapest thing on the menu. The lousy tea cost over four dollars, but I figured the peace of mind it would bring would be worth it.
Gulping down my drink, I asked for the bathroom key and went into the bathroom before ripping open both boxes. I rinsed out my cup and yanked down my shorts. Holding my breath, I held the cup between my legs and squatted over the toilet. I was so nervous that it took a moment for me to actually release, and I kept holding my breath until the cup was full.
I stuck two different brands of test into the cup, then set an alarm on my phone for three minutes and closed my eyes.
Those three minutes felt like the longest of my life, even longer than when I’d been waiting backstage at The Pink Diamond ready to go out and dance for the first time. When the alarm went off, I took a deep breath.
Either way, you can make this work, I told myself. But surely, there’s no way you’re pregnant. This totally has to be a fluke. I’m sure I’ll wake up tomorrow morning with my period and everything will be totally fine.
I opened my eyes.
Both pregnancy tests were showing two pink lines in the “pregnant” box.
All of the air rushed out of my lungs and I felt like someone had punched me in the gut.
&
nbsp; That was it.
I was pregnant.
With my best friend’s father’s child.
21
Harrison – Friday
I was sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, staring down at the daily paper but not really seeing it. My mind was going in a million directions at once: work, and Paris, and Hollie, and now my encounter with Krista.
Just what had my ex-wife expected me to do? If I hadn’t known her better, I would have felt insulted. She had no idea who I was, truly. She’d just expected me to just roll over and do as she said, like a dog.
We’d been married for so long, almost two decades. How was it possible that she cared so little that she didn’t even know me?
Or worse, did she know me and just not care?
The thought left a bad, sour taste in my mouth. Krista had always been selfish, but this was a new low, even for her. I’d accepted that she never would have been happy being my wife forever – she’d always had a champagne taste and a beer budget. But to endanger Hollie’s future just because she was too afraid of sticking up for her new husband? She was choosing her marriage over her child, and that was something I believed should never, ever happen.
I wanted to help Hollie as much as I could, but truthfully, I was stumbling. I didn’t have many connections beyond the police force, and probably none that could help my daughter get into the top-tier medical school that she deserved. It wasn’t fair – Hollie had worked just as hard as anyone, she’d worked her ass off, and I was so proud of her.
I wasn’t looking forward the conversation that we’d have to have soon. I imagined her coming home after having lunch with her mother, crushed and defeated at the prospect that everything she’d worked for was now lost and gone forever. Sure, she could probably get into a state school ... but then she wouldn’t be able to open the clinic of her dreams. She’d probably get stuck working the ER at one of Chicago’s worst hospitals, treating gang gunshot wounds and junkies claiming to be in pain just because they wanted pills.