Heart's Desire

by Sorcha MacMurrough

  For a moment Sinead was tempted to tell her sister about the presence of Margaret Knight in Austin's life. But then she decided that Maeve was concerned enough. There was no need to tell her now that the woman who had helped wreck Luke's life and her own was right here in Castlemaine, and had her sights set on the very man she was going to be staying with and working for.

  "I'm just his nurse, no more. I doubt we'll even see each other much, except at meals and when he needs his insulin."

  "I'll try not to worry, but you must promise to call. If he gives you a hard time, you come straight home!"

  "Yes, boss!" Sinead replied, kissing her sister on the cheek. "Look after you, baby and Mike! I must run."

  Sinead shrugged into her long black wool coat, grabbed her bag, and searched her pockets for the keys to the Jaguar. She dashed out the door, and called, "I'll phone tomorrow!"

  Maeve stood on the steps and admired the car, and gave a cheerful wave as Sinead set off down the drive.

  Chapter Nine

  Sinead impatiently tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as she waited for the light, and then realized with a start that it was the same light at which she'd first encountered Austin. She smiled and waved at it, marvelling at how the tiniest things could sometimes change a person's life in unexpected ways. As she drove toward the hospital, she hoped that the light signalled change for the better for her, and perhaps even for Austin.

  Of course, it wasn't going to be easy for him to adjust to his condition. She knew he was very stubborn, and his busy lifestyle wouldn't make things any easier for him. Sinead hoped she'd be up to the task of forcing him to adopt a sensible routine. He was so firm and masterful, she had a strong suspicion that it would be a hard-fought two week battle of wills.

  She parked near the entrance to the hospital and headed straight upstairs to Dr. Maguire's office. Unfortunately this route took her past Dr. Jameson's office and she came upon him escorting Margaret down the corridor.

  "Ah, Sinead, this is Margaret Knight, one of the candidates for Mandy's post in ICU. This is Sinead Thomas, a possible future colleague of yours."

  Sinead gasped for breath. Margaret's dark eyes looked her up and down with undisguised contempt.

  "You don't suppose, Sinead, that you could show her around? I have the first of the conference delegates arriving at any moment," Dr. Jameson asked.

  Sinead knew she probably looked completely horrified, and certainly her voice sounded nearly hysterical as she blurted out, "That's impossible!"

  Margaret smirked at her discomfort.

  Dr. Jameson said a little sharply, "Why! What is the matter?"

  Sinead tried to laugh the matter off lightly, though she knew she was perceptibly backing away from them and eying the buxom brunette with obvious distaste.

  "Surely you haven't forgotten my important patient, Dr. Jameson. I have to consult with Dr. Maguire first, and our appointment with Dr. Sheridan is at eleven."

  "Oh yes, of course, my dear, I can see you do have your hands full." Dr. Jameson smiled, looking curiously at Margaret now. "I'll find the time to take Nurse Knight around myself and get to know her better."

  Sinead felt herself go white at this statement. She opened her mouth in an attempt to apologise, but the words refused to come. She could only look uneasily at Margaret and wave goodbye to Dr. Jameson.

  She heard Dr. Jameson call after her, "Take good care of Austin Riordan!" as she sailed down the corridor, and barely made it to the refuge of Dr. Maguire's office before her knees buckled.

  Margaret! Here! Working in ICU with her?! Impossible!

  And yet, here she was, getting a guided tour, being introduced around. Good Lord! It was bad enough having nearly lost Luke to her, but now to be forced out of her own job, in her own home town?

  Sinead tried to persuade herself not to panic, but the upset left her shaking and nauseous. Then a glance at the clock gave her a new cause for concern, as she realised that she had less than half an hour before she had to meet Austin.

  She pressed her hands together to steady them and went over to the cabinet where Dr. Maguire kept all his guides and leaflets. She forced her professional mind to take over and soon managed to write out a full week's worth of menus for Austin's new diet.

  Dr. Maguire entered just as she was finishing, and he looked over her efforts with a huge smile of approval.

  "Wonderful, my dear," he said, patting her on the shoulder. "That looks just right to me, both balanced and tasty," he chuckled, slapping his own paunch heartily. "You know how we men like our food!"

  "Sorry, Sean, but I don't know in this case, since I know nothing about Austin Riordan. I'm just taking a guess, really, I'd better write down a few substitutes just in case he hates lamb or fish," Sinead said, shaking her head worriedly.

  "My dear, I'm sure it'll be fine," Sean reassured her. "Say, you aren't coming down with anything, are you? You're looking a bit sick," he added, after glancing at her pinched features more closely.

  "No, Sean, I haven't got flu or anything. I-I've just had a bit of a shock really, that's all."

  "Why, what's happened? Or is it too personal?"

  Sinead hesitated, but she knew she could trust Sean to sympathise and not over-react, and it would be a great relief to confide in someone.

  "I suppose it will sound like a petty woman's tiff, but there's a woman interviewing for the empty place with me in ICU who's someone from my past I'd rather forget. She was involved with my husband, and probably with his drug-taking. It's bad luck that she's turned up here, but even worse luck that she's charming the socks off Dr. Jameson, who's giving her a guided tour this very minute."

  Sean Maguire shook his gray head. "Sinead, I know you well enough to know it isn't spite or jealousy with you. All I can say is worrying about it won't help. These things have a habit of working themselves out. But you have to be on top form for Mr. Riordan. You know how important he is to the whole hospital. You're responsible for him at the moment. Just get out of here for two weeks, and maybe things won't look quite so bleak when you come back." He patted her on the shoulder and smiled, but she could still see a look of worry in his eyes.

  "Thanks, Sean, I really appreciate your help. And you're quite right. I'm powerless to change things, so I'll just have to make the best of it."

  Sinead went over the insulin dosage with Dr. Maguire. They made sure Austin would have plenty of testing supplies, syringes and information for when he would have to cope on his own. Dr. Maguire looked thoughtful while she packed up her medical kit, and she tried to muster a smile for him.

  "Well, Sean, I'm off now. I'll give you a ring if there are any problems."

  "Take care, lass. I'll be seeing you."

  Sinead headed towards Austin's room, and spotted Margaret coming out of the door. She hesitated, hoping that Margaret wouldn't see her. But the older woman's eyes took on a predatory gleam as she stalked up to Sinead, who desperately looked for a means of escape.

  "Well, the hospital is a bit small and certainly not as well-equipped as I'm used to, but of course it will be so convenient for Austin and I to be working and living together. We're so close, he can't bear me to be away from him, which is why I'll be transferring here," she explained smugly. "Of course, I'll be senior nurse in ICU. You'll be in for a lot of changes once I'm at the helm. I hope you'll be able to satisfy my standards and tolerate the pace."

  Sinead could feel herself fuming. Before she could return a stinging rejoinder, Margaret looked at her watch in a theatrical way.

  "Oh heavens, is that the time? Austin is getting out of hospital today, and he's taking me to lunch. Must dash!"

  Margaret headed down the corridor, in the opposite direction from Austin's room. For a moment Sinead was irritated that Austin had changed his plans without telling her. Well, she had been tied up with Sean Maguire, she reasoned, and of course, a patient didn't owe his nurse any explanations.

  But it suddenly occurred to Sinead to wonder what Margaret w
as up to. She had seemed too rude, too confident, for it to be sincere. Sinead felt very inadequate where Margaret was concerned. Every time she saw her, a knife twisted inside her. But perhaps she felt the same whenever she saw Sinead?

  Sinead shrugged her shoulders, and decided that, as Dr. Maguire had advised, she could only wait and see what Margaret's next move would be.

  Chapter Ten

  Sinead squared her shoulders, rapped on the door and briskly entered Austin's room as soon as she heard him call "Come in!" An uncontrollable wave of desire coursed through her veins as she took in the awesome beauty of his torso, the muscles rippling with latent power as he towelled his hair vigorously.

  "I'm sorry, I know I said eleven, but Dr. Sheridan has been detained, and Dr. Maguire said he had a few consultations. So I'm afraid we'll have to wait until one of them pops up to sign my release forms," Austin said with a pleasant smile. "I thought I'd get myself tidied up, if you don't mind."

  "Not at all," Sinead said, returning his grin. A voice inside her berated herself for lying. She certainly did mind. The closeness of him in that small hospital room, which was filled with memories of what had happened the day before, caused her to blush furiously. Fortunately, Austin already had his back to her, and had begun to shave, so her embarrassment went unnoticed.

  "Are you sure you don't mind running so late?" she ask cautiously, crossing over to stand in the doorway of the bathroom, fascinated. "You, er, don't have any plans for this afternoon? I can always get Dr. Jameson..."

  "Don't trouble yourself, Sinead. I'm in no hurry. For once in my life I haven't got a single thing to do. The only plan was what we agreed yesterday, to go home and get organised."

  Their eyes met in the mirror for a moment, and she felt a wild uplift in her spirits, a surge of pure joy and relief. So Margaret had been lying! But why? And why should she feel so happy about it? Sinead decided to stop dwelling on Margaret. She was not going to ruin her life again.

  "In that case, would you mind if we stopped off at a supermarket before we get home? I've taken the liberty of working out a few menus for you, but I have no idea what you like, or what you have in the house."

  "That's simple. I eat just about anything, and I have little in the house. Frankly, I live on hospital cafeteria food, because I spend so much time here and it's a long drive home. Often I even end up staying in the doctor's quarters, where the diet is usually ten cups of coffee with three sugars apiece, and sixty cigarettes."

  Sinead looked a bit skeptical, but Austin reassured her, "You think I jest, but apart from the odd meal out in a restaurant, which I loathe because I hate dining by myself, and occasional social visits to my family when I get a holiday, that's my life summed up in a nutshell."

  "I'm afraid that lifestyle is going to have to change," she said firmly. "First of all, all that sugar is right out, and second of all, the cigarettes will have to go too. I certain hope you're not a raving alcoholic as well, because your intake is going to have to be severely restricted from now on if you wish to stay well."

  "I think the sugar and alcohol are the easiest. I'm not really a sweet tooth apart from in my coffee. I've never been much of a drinker, just a workaholic. The smoking is going to be a bit harder, but I haven't had a single puff since I came in here. If I don't have any around, I'll remove one temptation at least." He dug in the pocket of his suit, which was hanging on the door, and threw the two packs he found there into the bin with a dramatic flourish.

  "What next, Nurse?"

  "You finish shaving, and I'll read off what I've got on these menus for you. Just say ugh if you hate it, and I'll work out a substitute." Sinead slipped off her shoes and sat down on the foot of the bed cross-legged. She was still very aware of Austin's magnificent presence, but she decided she would have to get used to it, and wanted to appear casual and at ease with him.

  After reading about half the list, it soon became obvious to her that Austin was trying to be easy-going and was not going to raise any objections to her diet plan. Or maybe he wasn't paying her any attention?

  "Cauliflower cheese, broccoli, giant wood grubs, crunchy frog, sparrow surprise, fried lice," she said mischievously.

  "Trying anything once, that's my motto," Austin said with a smile, "but I hope the lice come with toothpicks."

  He gazed down at her, and Sinead's heart turned over. He was so incredibly handsome, and his steely eyes so languidly warm when he looked at her like that. Her mouth went dry with desire as he neared her, and began to stoop as if to kiss her.

  Suddenly the door swung open, and Mike barged in. Sinead's enchantment was broken, yet curiously she felt resentful rather than relieved at the interruption.

  "Hello, darling," Mike said, stroking her thick fall of hair.

  She quickly swung her legs off the bed and slipped her shoes back on.

  Austin scowled and headed back into the bathroom. Mike chatted for a few minutes about the awful winter weather while Austin finished dressing in the bathroom. He looked stunning in a cashmere rollnecked sweater the color of his tempestuous gray eyes, and a pair of black slacks obviously tailor-made, which encased his muscular thighs like a second skin. Sinead blinked, but the vision was real. He was magnificent, like no other man she'd even encountered.

  Mike examined Austin quickly and efficiently, but not fast enough for Sinead. She wanted to get out of this tiny room filled by two men who were overwhelmingly larger than life. She could sense a mutual hostility, and hoped Mike wouldn't go over the top in an effort to try to protect her from Austin. She was also terrified of another confrontation with Margaret, and dreaded that she might come bounding in the door at any moment to fawn all over the stunning dark-haired architect.

  At last the examination was over. Austin coolly thanked Mike for all his help, and for allowing him to hire Sinead for a fortnight.

  "She's her own woman," Mike said with a smile, "which is why everyone who knows her loves her. Just make sure she gets back to me safely."

  He turned to Sinead and went to peck her on the mouth. She could see him looking in Austin's direction as he did so, but decided at the last minute that the official bodyguard routine was going a bit too far. So she turned her cheek to him, which he smacked loudly.

  "Come home soon, and ring me every day-and night," Mike said as a parting shot.

  Then Sinead was left alone with Austin, who stared at her speculatively for several moments before making any move to leave.

  Finally he said quietly, "Well, Sinead, um, Nurse Thomas, let's get to that supermarket you mentioned. I'm starving, and the thought of hospital food again fills me with dread."

  "Sinead will do. I'd say we'd better get you some lunch first before we go back to your house. You have to keep a constant blood sugar level, which means constant testing, proper meals, and snacks. If you're starving, maybe we should eat first."

  "No, it was really you reading your list, wood grubs and all. Shopping first, Italian restaurant in the High Street after?"

  Sinead look at him suspiciously. She set him one more test. The last thing she wanted was for Margaret to make a fool of her yet again.

  "I don't really fancy Italian. What about Indian?" she suggested, and waited anxiously for his reaction.

  "Even better. I love spicy food," Austin said with obvious enthusiasm. "You'll have to advise me though, or else I might eat something bad for me."

  Sinead's suspicions were once again laid to rest. She shouldered her medical bag and led Austin downstairs to where she had parked the car.

  Chapter Eleven

  Much later, as Sinead drove down the road towards Austin's house in the Killyfassy Forest, she suddenly realised she felt happy. It was a gentle feeling of well-being and pleasure, and she could not remember the last time she'd felt so at ease.

  But then, the day she and Austin had spent together had been so perfect. Once her doubts had been laid to rest concerning Margaret's lie about lunch, she had decided that no matter what, the sultry older woman
was not going to interfere with her relationship with Austin. There was no reason not to trust him, and he had proven himself a wonderfully charming companion all day. They had gone for an early lunch at the Indian restaurant, and after a few awkward moments of tentative breaking the ice, they'd found lots to talk about.

  They had the hospital in common, and exchanged views about colleagues and the exciting new renovations. Sinead loved to listen to Austin's deep voice enthusiastically outlining his architectural vision for Castlemaine General Hospital. She sensed that he was a man who cared deeply about his work and his fellow man.

  "I know the hours are very long, and perhaps I should have recognised my body's warning signals way before I collapsed. But I love what I do, and I became obsessed with my vision of perfection," Austin explained.

  She shivered with pleasure as he gazed piercingly at her face.