by Julie Bale
“No, wait,” she said. “Don’t go.”
Where was Matt? Where was Daddy?
“Mommy.” I tried again. “Blair’s mother is here but she won’t let me go with them to the water park until she talks to you. Daddy didn’t call her last night like he said he would. Can’t you please come downstairs and see her?”
“Georgia, I can’t do it.”
Hot tears pricked my eyes and this time I wasn’t able to hide the sob that fell from between my lips.
“Mommy, you promised I could go for the weekend. You promised.”
Why did she always do this? Why couldn’t she be like Blair’s mom? Why did she spend every single day in bed? In the dark? Crying? Or saying crazy things?
Why couldn’t she be normal?
She rolled over and tried to sit up and for a moment my tears dried up. My heart pounded in anticipation and for five whole seconds I was happy. She would come downstairs. She would talk to Blair’s mom so that Mrs. Taylor knew I had permission to go with them.
Everything would be okay. I would have fun with Blair and if I was really lucky, I would be able to forget for a while.
“Please don’t leave me,” she whispered hoarsely.
Her bony hands beckoned toward me and I backed away, shaking my head and trying not to cry.
“Mommy,” I whispered sadly.
“Georgia, I need you. I need you to stay with me.”
She moved across the covers, her nightgown riding up her thighs, her sunken eyes glistening with something feverish. She was shaking and reached for her cigarettes on the table beside her bed. She lit one, inhaled a long, deep breath, and wiped her nose on her arm.
She was gross and smelly and she looked awful and…
She was my mother.
“Georgie, please? We’ll watch movies and eat junk food. I just…I don’t want to be alone.”
I didn’t want to be here. But how could I leave her like this? Alone? Matt was with his friends and Daddy wasn’t home either.
“Okay,” I said finally, trying not to cry… “I’ll stay.”
Ben’s hand on my shoulder had me nearly jumping out of my skin.
“Shit, Georgia. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His eyes were warm and happy and for a second I felt their heat roll over me. And yet I still shivered from cold.
“I’m fine.”
His eyebrow shot up and he cocked his head to the side.
“Really. I was just daydreaming I guess.”
He bent low and kissed me, there beneath my ear, and I shuddered into him, clutching his shoulders and wanting more—needing more—than he could give with his parents looking at us.
“Steaks are ready,” he murmured.
His hand slipped down my shoulder until he threaded my fingers through his and drew me up against him. He didn’t care that his mom was staring at us from across the deck. He kissed me and I drank in his warmth and his goodness and his strength.
Slowly he pulled away and cupped my chin. “Are you alright? I didn’t mean to abandon you over here, I just…my parents are pretty damn hard to resist and they’re really excited about my new place.”
“You’re lucky,” I said without thinking.
“Yes.” He dropped a kiss onto my forehead. “I am. I have you.”
For a second I didn’t let go and I felt my eyes fill up. “Thanks,” I whispered.
We had steaks and baked potatoes with some leftover Chinese food from the day before. It was thrown together hastily with paper plates, paper towels for napkins and plastic utensils. Ben hadn’t gotten around to buying the basics since he’d moved in and we’d pretty much survived on take out. And sex.
I’m sure the food tasted great, but I could barely get anything down. Ben’s mom had been studying me between smiles and polite talk for about twenty minutes and I wished she would just turn the other way. Something was coming, I could feel it.
“So, Georgia,” Eve Lancaster said casually.
Here we go.
My cheeks ached from the fake smile I plastered to my face and I set down my fork, reaching for my glass of water.
“That’s a beautiful name.”
“Thank you.”
Ben’s dad smiled. “Is it a family name? Are you from the south?”
I shook my head. “No. I think my mom just liked it.”
“So, you and Ben met because your brother is one of his,” Eve glanced toward Ben and I saw the concern in her eyes. “He’s one of his coaches?”
I nodded, twirling my paper towel napkin nervously.
“Huh,” she said.
“Mom, come on. I told you not to worry about it. Matt’s cool with it.” Ben finished his beer and leaned back in his chair. “What is this, the third degree?”
“It’s okay, Ben,” I said. “Your mom is just curious.” I played nice but I wished the woman would move on.
“See?” Eve winked at her son but when she turned her eyes back to me she was all business.
No such chance.
She took a sip of wine. “Did you grow up around here?”
“Cherry Hill.”
“Ah,” Jason said. “I’ve got a client who lives there. Martin Brewer. Do you know him?”
“Jesus Dad,” Ben said exasperated. “There are thousands of people in Cherry Hill.”
I laughed at the look on his father’s face. “No, Jason. I don’t know Martin Brewer.”
“Are you in college?” Eve asked.
I shifted, my stomach tight and I tried to keep my voice light. “I was but I’m taking a break for a bit.”
I shot a glance at Ben who looked absolutely mortified.
“What are you studying?” God, the woman didn’t miss a beat.
“Art history.”
“Ah,” she said with a smile. “That sounds interesting.”
“It is,” I stumbled over my words. “I mean it was.”
“I see. Ben tells me that you live with your brother?” She was watching me closely on this one and I knew she was wondering if Ben and I were living in sin.
“I do. In Philly.”
“And your parents?”
And here we were.
I exhaled, my body cold and then hot. I took a sip of water and pushed my plate away. There was no way I could force another bite down. There was also no way I could avoid answering. Not anymore.
Ben studied me as carefully as his parents and I knew he was interested in my answer. We’d been together for weeks now and I hadn’t mentioned my parents once.
“They’re dead.”
I saw the shock on Eve’s face—I saw it mirrored on her husband’s face too—and I had to look away because my eyes were filling up with tears and I didn’t want to fall apart in front of them. Shit.
“I’m so sorry,” Eve whispered. “I didn’t…Ben never said anything.”
“He didn’t know,” I mumbled.
I chanced a glance back but I should have kept my eyes averted. She looked horrified, as if she’d made the biggest mistake every by asking one simple question. Great. Leave it to me to bring everyone down.
I nodded but didn’t speak. What was there to say? I’m sorry I ruined your dinner? I’m sorry I’m the college dropout with major family issues who’s fucking your son?
I felt Ben’s hand on mine but I couldn’t look at him. Their perfect little triangle wasn’t meant for my sharp edge and I just wanted to disappear.
“Hey,” he said softly, so softly I knew his parents couldn’t hear. “Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t know…about your parents.”
I nodded. I mean, what was there to say? It wasn’t his fault my mother had decided to take a detour to off the bridge. Hell, it wasn’t even my mother’s fault. She was damaged. She was damaged and broken and there wasn’t any kind of glue in the world that could fix her.
“Georgia?”
I blinked rapidly, trying to stem the tears I felt but suddenly it was too much. Ben. His parents. My parents.
And all the hole
s in between.
My heart sped up. Sweat broke out along my forehead and for a minute the world seemed like it was spinning and yet I was still. I was standing in the middle of crazy. It was odd, but in that moment I felt as if I could see right into my mind and it scared the crap out of me.
I wrestled my hand from Ben’s and pushed away from the table.
“I gotta go,” I mumbled.
Ben stood, blocking my view of his parents and I avoided his eyes. I knew the power that was there and I didn’t want him to pull me in because I needed to leave.
“Don’t go.” His hand reached for me but I sidestepped him, my face already pinched into what had to be the mother of all fake smiles.
“It was nice to meet you.” I nodded toward his parents. “But I just remembered that I have this, um, thing and I have to be back in Philly before nine, so…” My voice trailed off and I knew that they knew I was full of shit, but they were too polite to say anything.
I gave a half wave before anyone could say anything and practically ran into the house, my eyes searching frantically for my car keys. The door banged behind me and I knew Ben had followed me inside.
I didn’t want to face his questions. I just wanted to get the hell out. Shit. Where the fuck were my keys?
“Georgia.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Ben. Really. It happened over three years ago…and it’s not a pretty story and I…please just let me go.” Mother fucker. My voice was cracking. I really needed to leave.
The keys were not where I left them. I shoved aside a bunch of advertisements and the relief I felt when I saw the black and silver key ring was huge. Huge. My chest was tight and it was getting hard to breathe. I knew that if I didn’t get my ass out of here soon I was going to lose my shit in front of Ben and his parents, and I would rather die than have them see me like that.
I was headed for the front door and my fingers curled around the handle when Ben’s voice cut through the fear inside me.
“You’re just going to leave? What the fuck, Georgia? You tell me that your parents are dead and then freak out and you’re just going to leave?”
He was behind me. I felt him as if he was pressed up against me.
“Let me help you with this. Let me be there for you.”
“Please, Ben,” I whispered. “I can’t do this.” Panicked I yanked hard on the door. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”
“This is bullshit, Georgia.” His voice was hard.
“I can’t share this with you. Not yet.”
I slipped outside, half expecting him to come after me. He didn’t.
And I don’t know what upset me more. The fact that I knew he was pissed at me for leaving, which he had every right to be, or the fact that he hadn’t bothered to come after me.
Either way it didn’t matter. Twenty minutes later I pulled over onto the side of the road and lost my shit. I cried hard. I cried until my eyes smarted because they were swollen. I cried until my nose ran and my skin was itchy from the salty tears. I cried until there was nothing left in me and even then I huddled in the front seat, my arms wrapped around myself, shaking uncontrollably.
And then I sat for nearly an hour, watching the headlights of the oncoming cars blur as they sped by. I sat there until dusk fell and the stars came out.
I sat there until I was empty and then I went home.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ben
My parents stayed for three days and for three days Georgia stayed away. The first two, we didn’t talk. She never showed up to paint and I refused to call her. As much as I wanted to be there for her, I couldn’t get past the way she had just run out. Like I didn’t mean anything to her. Like what we shared didn’t rate an explanation.
And sure I was being a bit of a dick—I knew it wasn’t about me—but I couldn’t help the way I felt. I’d never been ditched like that before and it sucked.
My parents were cool. They never said anything about the way she’d bolted or the fact that she hadn’t come around since. We had a good visit, caught up on some family shit and then they were gone.
The third day, yesterday, Georgia called but I wasn’t overly friendly on the phone even though I wanted to see her so bad it was all I thought about. But then she wasn’t either. I didn’t know what had changed between us, I only knew she wasn’t interested in fixing whatever the hell it was and that pissed me off even more than I already was.
She didn’t say she was coming out to my place, and I didn’t invite her. I told her Jack Ryan, Rick Daniels and Ball-less Boone—former teammates of mine from LA—were coming out for a few days to chill before training camp started. Georgia asked if they were bringing girls with them and I answered without thinking.
“Boone has his balls back so I’m guessing they won’t be alone.”
“Oh,” she’d said. “Have fun.”
“I plan on it.”
Click.
That was our conversation and the main reason my attitude sucked. Pretty fucking pathetic.
The sad thing? The guys had brought girls—hot fucking girls—and all I could think about was Georgia’s pale eyes and heart shaped face.
Even more pathetic.
“Dude! Are you coming in or what?”
My parents were long gone—thank God, since the two chicks in the pool were now topless and I was guessing the bits of fabric that barely covered their asses were coming off next.
Boone grinned as he grabbed the little blonde closest to him and ran his hands over her tits. “Lancaster. You don’t know what you’re missing.”
I scowled and cracked open a cold beer, but even the taste of good old Canadian lager did nothing to improve my mood.
Jack Ryan ran across the yard and belly flopped his six foot two inch body into the pool sending up a huge spray of water. The girls squealed. Bikini bottoms went flying in the air and I sank lower into my chair as Jack and Boone got real busy with the tits and ass offered up so easily. I knew the girls—professional puck bunnies—they were a good time, but they were a good time that I had no interest in anymore.
And even that pissed me off. What the hell had Georgia done to me? Had she cut my balls off like Boone’s ex?
I knew she was hurting and dealing with some heavy shit but I was fucking pissed that she wouldn’t let me in. We’d been seeing each other for weeks now and I was no closer to knowing the real Georgia King, than I’d been that first time I’d seen her in Matt’s loft.
What the hell did that say about what we had?
A tall brunette, Cassidy, walked toward me, her fake tits barely covered by the thin scraps of green triangles that passed as a bikini top. Her body was rock hard, tanned, tattooed and pierced. I’d been up close and personal with several of her piercings including the one between her legs, but at the moment her predatory smirk was wasted on me. I wasn’t interested in anything she had to offer.
“Aren’t you coming in?” Her voice was husky, rough, as if she’d downed a bottle of Jack. I liked it. I always had. But right now? It was about the only thing I liked.
I shook my head and took another sip of my already warming beer. It was close to four in the afternoon and still hotter than a bitch.
She stopped just in front of me, blocking my view of the pool and then knelt between my legs, her eyes on my dick, her tongue running along her bottom lip.
“Lancaster,” she said softly. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I shrugged, but didn’t back off.
Slowly she reached behind her back and seconds later tossed her top behind me. My gaze dropped to her large, perfectly round tits and I can’t lie, I felt the stirrings of something between my legs but fuck, I didn’t want to suck on hard, fake breasts. I wanted Georgia. I wanted her sweet face gazing down at me while I worshipped her body with everything I had. I wanted her arms around me, her lips on me. No one else came close, especially not some hard bodied puck bunny who’d fucked half the guys on the Kings.
Two mo
nths ago I would have been all over having a good time with Cassidy, but two months ago I was a different guy. Two months ago was before Georgia.
My scowl deepened even as my breath hitched and the situation between my legs sprang to life.
“This isn’t going to happen, Cass.”
She smiled, her eyes on my erection. “No?”
“I’m involved with someone.”
“Really.”
“Yeah.” I shifted, uncomfortable as fuck.
“And where is she?”
Cassidy’s hands were now on my thighs, her scarlet tipped fingers edging toward my dick and I knew if I didn’t do something she’d have her lips around my cock in ten seconds flat.
I set my beer on the table, removed her hands and pushed my chair back.
“You’re really going to turn down a blow job? For some girl who isn’t even here with you? Are you kidding me?”
I stared at her, pissed, horny as fuck, and aching for a girl who had walked out of this house three days ago and hadn’t bothered to come back.
I didn’t go after her. Guilt washed over me at the thought. I should have gone after her. Why the hell hadn’t I?
Cassidy studied me for several seconds and then sat back on her haunches, not caring that her tits were out or that her bikini bottoms did nothing to hide what she had between her legs.
“You’re in love with this girl.”
I was on my feet and nearly knocked her over as I pushed past her. I didn’t want to discuss Georgia with her or anyone else for that matter. I glanced toward the pool. “Guys, I gotta do something. You know where the beer and the food is.”
“Where the hell are you going, Lancaster?” Boone took enough time to drag his mouth away from the girl in his arms to ask the question, but I didn’t answer because I was already gone.
I stopped long enough to pull on a T-shirt, grabbed my wallet, keys, and cell, and was out the door in under a minute. I didn’t call Georgia—I didn’t want her to blow me off—and if Joe was surprised to see me trucking through the lobby he didn’t say so. He just nodded and smiled and I kept going.