“Yeah.”
“Oz!” His shoulders jump and he finally looks at me. “You’re not even listening to me.”
He shrugs and walks closer, placing a soft kiss where my neck meets my shoulder. It’s become habit for him to do this when he wants to distract me, shut me up. I know I won’t win this battle, so I slide the bracelet from my arm and place it back on the table.
“Why’s it so crowded today?” I ask.
“I don’t know. Maybe spring breakers.”
“Oh! When’s Easter?”
“On the twentieth.”
“Really? Wow. I didn’t even realize. I should start planning the menu for Easter dinner now!”
“Yeah, you only have two and a half weeks to get it ready,” Samuel says vacantly.
“Shut it. This is a big moment for you—it’ll be the first time you’ll be opening up your house to new friends.”
“Our house,” he says. “Opening up our house.”
When our arms are full, we head back home. It’s still odd to think of this place as my home too. For a month now, we wake each morning to colorful sunrises that paint the sky in hues of orange and lavender. Each night the ocean waves lull us to sleep. It’s more than I ever dreamed of.
When we reach the front door, Samuel enters the code and holds it open. We set the bags down and I start to unload them while he stands at the back of the house staring at the ocean. He’s so disconnected from me lately, always close but so far away. He reminds me of the tide, pulling in close and retreating again. It’s frustrating, but I try to be patient.
I put the last of the food in the refrigerator and join him at the glass door. The surf looks great today and I wonder if he’ll take me out on his board.
“Something wrong?” I ask. His blue eyes are lit up by the afternoon sun as they avoid mine. “Samuel, please don’t shut me out.”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the wooden bracelet I admired earlier. He takes my hand and slides it onto my wrist. I beam up at him, knowing that his actions mean so much more than his absent words. I stand on my tiptoes and pull him down for a kiss.
“I love you,” I say.
Samuel straightens up and gawks at me. I suck in a breath and seal my lips closed. My whole body trembles with my admission. I’ve been thinking it for a few days, but to let it slip out now is a huge mistake. He’s not ready. I try to make it easier to swallow.
“I don’t know how you feel about me, Samuel. I don’t know what I mean to you. But, I need you to know that every time I look at you, I’m positive that I want to be with you. I do love you.”
Both of his hands reach for me. They hold my face and pull me forward with such desperation, such force. He kisses me until I feel lightheaded. When he breaks free, Samuel leans his forehead against mine. “I love you too,” he says fiercely.
25. HIM
I stand at the sink washing my hands so I can help Kat prepare dinner for her friends. Before I know it, I’ve been staring at the running water for a few minutes. Kat steps over, turns the faucet off, and wraps her arms around me. She squeezes tight, pressing her body against mine in my favorite way.
“What’s been going on with you?” Kat asks with her cheek resting on my chest. “You seem so distracted lately. And this isn’t you. What’s been happening in that pretty head of yours?”
I return her hug, running my hands up and down her back. “In the business I was in, I always had to rely on my gut. My instincts were good and usually never steered me wrong. I keep having this feeling that something isn’t right. My gut is trying to warn me.”
“Maybe it’s the tacos we had last night? My gut wasn’t happy at all.”
I ease her away from me so I can look into her eyes. “I’m serious, Kat.”
“I know,” she says, giving me an apologetic look. “Deflective humor.”
Kat leans against the counter across from me.
“As much as I tried to leave that life behind, I feel like I need to stay vigilant. We never figured out how Boots kept finding us. Maybe he wasn’t working alone. Now that he’s dead, Dragon could send another goon in to finish the job. There are just too many unknowns.”
“Life is full of unknowns, Samuel. Nothing is guaranteed. But we can’t live the rest of our lives in fear, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know you. I know you hate feeling helpless. Is this just about Boots or is it about me?”
“What does that mean?” I ask.
“This,” she says, waving her hand between us, “is so new to both of us. Whether you want to admit it or not, I know you’re afraid of what we have. You don’t hold all the power. You can’t control the universe, Samuel.”
“You ever think about where you’d be if you had made it to Canada?” I ask.
“No matter what happens.” I open my mouth to interrupt her, but she shakes her head. “No matter what our future holds, know that I’m glad you found me in Tacoma, Samuel Ozley. And again in Los Angeles. I’m glad that I’m here with you. We’re both in uncharted territory here. We might make mistakes. We might stumble. But, we’re doing it together. Kat and Oz. Liz and Lucas. Whoever we are, we are together.”
I grin and take the few steps to stand in front of her. Maybe I am afraid of this new relationship and what it could mean for Kat to see the real me. Maybe this feeling in my gut has nothing to do with unanswered questions from our past and everything to do with the mystery of our future.
“You’re right,” I say, placing a hand on the counter on each side, trapping her. “I don’t hold all the power. I don’t hold any of it. You rule my life now. As much as you belong to me, I belong to you. And that scares the shit out of me.”
She smiles up at me. “While I hate that you’re scared, I kind of like seeing you vulnerable like this.”
“You make me vulnerable, Kat, not some kitchen confession. Your cute laugh, how your lips slide sideways when you’re nervous, your love of shitty music, your ability to see through everything I am. It’s all you.”
Her smile widens, splitting her face in half and she reaches up on her toes to kiss me. It’s slow and fiery, creating a buzzing beneath my skin. When she finally pulls away, she rests her forehead on my chest and inhales deeply.
“That is the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“You mean, ‘My name’s Oz and I’m here to kill you’ didn’t do it for you?”
“Samuel, I don’t think those particular words ever came out of your mouth.”
“I was paraphrasing.”
She laughs, but the look in her eyes is mischievous. “What time is it?”
I glance at the clock across the room. “A little after five.”
“Good. We have time.”
Kat drops to her knees, her hands working on the button fly of my jeans.
“Kat,” I whisper in a halfhearted protest.
She shakes her head and warns me with her eyes to keep quiet. I nod and watch as she wraps her small hands and then her lips around me. There are images that stay with you for a lifetime—some good, most bad—this is one that I will never forget. It’s not a cheap act between strangers or a drunken seduction. It’s an appreciation, a physical manifestation of the love between two people, the two most unlikely souls to ever belong together.
The sensation of Kat’s warm mouth on me makes my knees weak. I lock them and place each hand on the edge of the counter to stay upright. She moves her hand to add to my pleasure and I know I won’t last much longer.
My breaths come out in short, gasping puffs of air now and her name leaves my lips over and over. I fight to keep my eyes open, to witness this beautiful woman and everything that she offers. I feel the familiar tightness in my gut. It’s like a cord winding every muscle and tendon in my body.
“I’m going to…”
I lose my words when her pace increases and she swallows around me. Kat wraps her hands around my thighs and holds my body tight so I can’t escape, not that I want to. My head is spinning and when I final
ly let go, she takes all that I give her.
I collapse onto my forearms on the counter, Kat trapped between my body and the cabinets. She cleans me up and tucks me back inside my jeans before refastening all the buttons. Kat then stands, forcing me upright while I wrap her in my arms.
“If I would have known that would happen, I would have told you how I feel a long time ago.” I squeeze her tight and kiss just below her ear. She lets out a loud chuckle and slaps my shoulder.
“Asshole,” she says. “I’m going brush my teeth before our guests arrive.”
Kat ducks under my arm and heads toward the bathroom.
“But an asshole you love, right?”
She spins and gives me a bright smile. “Absolutely.”
When she returns, Kat gets right back to work in the kitchen.
“Piper is so much fun. I’m sure her boyfriend is cool, too. I haven’t met him yet. They should be here soon.” I nod at her and eat another carrot. She slaps the back of my hand. “Stop eating that! Can you go light the tiki torches on the back patio? I’m thinking it’ll be nice enough to eat outside.”
I grab the lighter from the kitchen drawer and head outside. I work my way around the perimeter of the patio, lighting the oil torches along the way. When I’m halfway through, I hear a knock at the door.
“They’re here!” Kat yells.
26: her
“Oh! There you are,” I say when Samuel steps inside. “This is my friend Piper. Piper, this is my husband Lucas.”
He stands in the doorway stiffly, his eyes on Piper. Samuel mumbles something but I don’t make it out.
“Hello, Oz. Good to see you, darling.”
I turn to Piper to find her smiling sweetly.
“How do you know he goes by Oz? Have you guys met before?” I ask. I’m confused as I watch the staring match between these two.
Samuel lunges into the kitchen and runs his hand behind the fridge. He pulls his empty hand out and kicks the side of the appliance.
“Looking for this?” Piper asks, raising a gun and pointing it at him.
“Piper?” I ask, confused and terrified.
“That’s Natasha,” Samuel says.
I look at him and back to my friend. She laughs. It’s a maniacal laugh that chills my blood.
“The Natasha?” I screech.
She hops up from her chair, gun still pointed at Samuel and walks closer.
“The one and only. Both of you on the couch.” Neither one of us move. I slide the kitchen knife off the counter and into my pocket. “Now!”
I let out a whimper as Samuel drags me over to the sofa. We both sit as Natasha paces in front of us.
“Why are you here?” Samuel asks, trying to remain cool. “Did Dragon send you?”
“Ha. Dragon doesn’t give a shit about you or Boots. Don’t flatter yourself, Oz,” she says gesturing with her hands. The gun flails around like a forgotten limb. Natasha stops in front of Samuel. She looks down on him with simmering rage. I tuck my trembling hands beneath my thighs. “Let’s start with the key.”
“The key?” I ask.
My brain works to piece together everything that’s happening and who she is. I can’t seem to work out her motivation.
“Yes, Kitty Kat. I need the key,” she says slowly as if talking to a toddler. “Oz didn’t complete the job, so Callista hired me to clean up his mess. She wants the key and both of you dead.”
I fume, struck again with the hurt of my mother’s betrayal. Natasha sits on the coffee table facing us. I reach for Samuel’s hand and squeeze it tight. Natasha’s eyes flicker down to our joined hands and a devilish grin appears. She steps forward and straddles Samuel’s lap. I scoot away, flinching from her nearness.
“Have you been mixing business with pleasure, darling?” Natasha whispers in his ear.
The gun presses into Samuel’s back as she slides her hands around his neck and licks at his lips. He turns away, immediately causing Natasha to scowl and hop up.
“What’s wrong? I’m not good enough for you anymore?” Natasha walks to the patio and slides the door shut, thoroughly sealing us in. “You never complained before,” she sneers with her back to us.
“I can match what she’s paying you,” Samuel says.
Her steps are quick as she runs back and hits him across the face. Samuel’s eyes water from the pain and I turn to comfort him.
“It’s not just about the money!” Natasha shouts. Her breathing quickens, her tearful eyes set on Samuel. “You killed Boots.”
“Boots?” I ask.
“I loved him. For the first time in my life, I wanted someone who wanted me back. He showed me that I was worthy of love. I turned straight for him. Quit doing shady jobs and stuck to the legit business.” Natasha wipes the tears from her eyes. Her face turns dark and serious. “A lot of good that did me, right? You took him from me, Oz. Now, I get to have my revenge and get paid to do it. It’s a win-win situation.”
“So, that’s why you’ve been trying to get in touch with me? That’s why you wanted in on the job. You were helping Boots.”
“You were using Samuel’s cell phone to track us, weren’t you?” I ask. “Triangulating the signal?”
Her face snaps into a smile, like putting a mask on. Natasha spins away from us, pacing again. “Boots taught me many things you didn’t, Oz. He was twice the man you are.”
I nudge Samuel and show him the knife in my pocket. He quickly slides it out and hides it beneath his leg. I watch him carefully as he mouths the word “run.” I want to shake my head and deny him, but the pleading in his eyes tells me I better not argue.
“I brought your favorite toy, Samuel.” She pulls a pair of handcuffs from her back pocket and dangles them in front of his face.
“Put those on him,” Natasha barks at me. I follow her instructions, but keep them loose.
“I’m not an idiot,” she says, placing the gun to Samuel’s chest and reaching down to tighten the metal cuffs around his wrists.
“Natasha, enough with the dramatics. Tell me what you want,” he says calmly.
“So impatient.” Natasha stands in front of us again. She moves the end of the pistol to my temple. “How do you put up with him?”
Tears stream down my face now, but I hold her gaze. “My mother hired you to kill us, but you don’t get paid without that key, right?”
“That’s true, Kitty Kat. So where is it?” she says nudging the gun against my head with each word.
Samuel stands and Natasha points the gun back at him. “You know, you could just take out the girl. Then, you and I could stay here, like you always wanted to,” he says.
I whip my head around to face Samuel. I know he’s only creating a diversion, but those words sting like the truth.
“Ah, there’s the Oz I know! A selfish bastard till the very end. Just stop your lying!” she yells. “Where is the fucking key?”
“I’m not lying. With her out of the picture, you and I can pick up where we left off,” he says, stepping closer. Natasha faces him. I can see the knife in one of his cuffed hands, hidden along his forearm. I slowly scoot to the end of the sofa, so I have a straight shot to the door.
“You don’t mean it,” Natasha whispers.
“I do.”
I can see her wavering, a glimmer of hope in her eyes and I know that he’s got her. When the back of her knees hit the coffee table, she raises the gun higher.
“Stop. Just give me the key and this will be over,” Natasha threatens.
“You don’t mean it,” Samuel says, using her words against her while looking into the barrel of his own gun.
He leans forward until the pistol presses into his chest. I watch it all unfold like a nightmare. Blood and adrenaline pump through my body and I ready myself. Suddenly, Natasha’s arm drops to her side and she throws herself at Samuel, attacking his lips. I should be running now, but my feet won’t move. I think Samuel is just as surprised.
I see him raise the knife. Natash
a must sense something because when he moves to plunge it into her side, her hand shoots out to stop him. She’s not successful, but the wound is not lethal. She screams and falls backward. The gun flies from her hand and slides across the floor toward the front door. I take off running, then trip over my own feet and tumble over a chair. Without looking back, I crawl to the door, get up on my feet, and swing it open.
“I’ll kill him!” Natasha screams.
I spin to find her kneeling over Samuel, the knife at his throat. In my effort to get to the door, I’ve missed their scuffle and have no idea how she got the upper hand. There’s a blotch of blood on her shirt that’s spreading like spilled ink.
“No, you won’t. You still love him,” I say. I curse the trembling in my voice and the lack of oxygen in my lungs.
“I don’t think so, darling. You’ve spoiled him for me. You made him soft. And it’s too bad, because the old Oz was so much fun.” A gust of wind blows through the door and I try to clear my head. “Give me the key or he dies,” Natasha says.
I meet Samuel’s tired eyes and he shakes his head. “Don’t give her anything,” he says. His gaze darts to the gun near me. I don’t know if I can reach it before she kills him.
“Even if I give you the key, he still dies,” I shout.
She grins and nods her head. “You’re a smart Kitty. You have ten seconds,” Natasha says. “Nine, eight, seven.”
“Stop!” I yell. Samuel struggles to buck Natasha off of him, but he can’t get the leverage he needs.
“Five, four, three,” she counts smiling sweetly down at Samuel. She raises the knife over him and grips it with two hands. “Say hello to your mother, darling.”
“Okay, okay! I’ll give you the key!”
“Do your worst, you crazy bitch,” Samuel spits at her. “Kat, don’t give her anything. Once she has the key, you’re dead.”
He’s pleading with me now, his voice strong and demanding. But I can’t stand here and watch her kill him.
“I bet it’s in that safe behind the painting right? Now go fetch it while me and lover boy wait here.” Natasha slides the knife to his chest and presses down. Blood spills out as she drags it a few inches. Samuel doesn’t even flinch. “Move!” she yells at me.
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