Nope. Mary has been MIA. Probably missing your sorry ass.
So my suspicions have been confirmed. Mary was lying. She never saw Maddy like she claimed to have done. At the time, I wondered why she lied, I now know why. She couldn’t exactly divulge the fact she was having dinner with an asshole like Gail because that would lead to her confessing that her after dinner mint would be his cock! Bile rises, but I push it down.
A surge of anger comes spurting from me and the end result is me smashing my fist against the wall. I barely feel the sting because no pain can compare to the one lodging within.
I need to do something, anything, so I fucking run.
I have no idea where I’m running to. It doesn’t matter, either way. I just need to free myself from this weight—the vibration of…I told you so. Was I a fool to think that this was different? That Mary felt for me what I feel for her? No. Just no.
I keep running, the world passing by me in a blur, but the chaos complements the raging war within. I don’t know when I’ll stop, I just know that when I do, I’ll see this for what it is—for what it’s always been.
Running further and further, I wish I could do the same for the thought playing a loop inside my head. No matter how desperate I was to believe that what we had was real, the truth shatters any misconceptions, setting me straight—I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think that I was enough, but now that my eyes have been opened, I won’t make the same mistake ever again.
Love can blow me.
The Liar Within
It’s Wednesday—four whole days since I last saw Hunter. As pathetic as this sounds, it feels like four years.
He’s been busy, I get that, but it’s been radio silence since our very hot sexting session. I really miss him. I hate not hearing from him because my suspicious nature ends up conjuring scenarios of him and thirty-five women playing naked tag.
I guess my worries are because I’m guilty of lying to Hunter, but I tell myself it’s for the greater good. But having dinner with that scumbag, Gail, felt anything but good. On the plus side, I found out that he too knows about this notorious watch. The question is, how did he find out?
He wouldn’t divulge just who told him, which has me questioning everything I thought I once knew. It’s now survival of the fittest, I guess, because if both Hunter and Gail know, then it’s who can bring game and convince Mr. Yeong they’re the better prize.
There is no question to who that may be, which really has me rethinking what angle Mr. Yeong is playing. Something fishy is going on. I just can’t seem to figure out what.
Keira has been her usual smug self. I peg it down to her also being in the running of delivering what Mr. Yeong wants, as I have no doubt she knows too. She is a status seeker, desperate to climb her way to the top, uncaring who she steps on to get there. Under different circumstances, I would admire her tenacity, but now, I just want her gone.
Hunter’s office is now complete, and I must say, it looks incredible. From what it was to now, it reflects everything that Hunter is. Bold, sleek, and commanding. The simple, glacier white paint scheme has brightened up the place, coupled with the modern, stylish office furniture of dark mahogany wood and glass panes, has turned his office into a corporate den fit for a king.
I’m thankful everything can now be locked, his desk included, because some of the stuff I found was information you wouldn’t want falling into the wrong hands, like his little black book, which can now be used as confetti.
Taking one final photograph of his office for my portfolio, I close and lock his door, and decide to grab a coffee before I hit the road.
I have no idea where Gail is, which is a good and bad thing. I’m thankful I don’t have to see him, but I don’t want him popping up like some jack in the box. Even though I left before appetizers were served, I still feel like a lying cheat for even agreeing to dinner with him.
As soon as Hunter returns, I’ll tell him what I’ve been doing, because my CSI days are over. I’m not cut out for this double life. I know he’ll be mad as shit, but I just hope he can understand why.
Turning the corner, I freeze in my tracks because I could swear I just heard Hunter’s voice. But that’s impossible. There is no way he’s here. Shaking my head, I pin it down to me now hallucinating he’s here to fill the void of him being gone.
My cell chimes, and I practically dig at my back pocket to retrieve it. Hoping it’s a message from Hunter, I’m not looking where I’m going and blindly walk into the kitchen. It’s from Maddy, asking if I’m free this afternoon to go shoe shopping.
Just as I’m punching out a reply, I hear a voice which unmistakably is Hunter’s, but it can’t be. Snapping my head upward, I almost topple to the floor when I see that it is, in fact, Hunter’s, because he is here, in the flesh, standing mere feet away. He looks like utter shit, and his hand is bandaged up, but nonetheless, he’s here.
My mouth moves in wordless animation, because what in the ever-living hell is he doing here? But more importantly, why is Keira hanging off of him? Her red fingernail is suspended mid-stroke along his collar.
My phone falls from my fingers, smashing the moment it hits the linoleum, which mirrors how I’m feeling right now. I have two options. I can run and cry, or I can advance forward and ask what the fuck is going on.
I decide to go with the latter. “You’re back?” I can’t keep the utter disbelief from my tone.
After three long seconds, he finally decides to pay me the respect of looking at me. But when he does, I wish that he hadn’t bothered. The usual playfulness and hunger are now replaced with nothing. There is no emotion behind his eyes. All I see is emptiness.
“Yup, I’m back,” he replies coolly, still not shrugging off Keira’s advances.
“And you didn’t think to tell me?”
He shrugs with a stiff upper lip. “It slipped my mind. I thought you’d be busy anyway.”
“Busy? What the fuck?” I ask, on the verge of throwing up.
I’m waiting for him to reward me with that lopsided smirk and tell me he’s joking, or at the very least, explain what’s going on. But he does neither. He simply leans against the counter, looking at me like I just sacrificed his first born to the devil.
Keira nestles in closer to him, while I search the room for something pointy to gouge out her eyeballs. “You need to leave. Now.” She has the gall to peer up at Hunter. And he’s got an even bigger nerve to nod, giving her permission. The world is on crazy pills.
To add salt to my gaping wound, she stands on tippy toes and kisses his stubbled cheek. I wish I could mask my pain, but I can’t, and tears sting my eyes. She struts past, nothing but a victorious grin following her out the door.
Now that we’re alone, it’s the ultimate standoff. Hunter doesn’t budge, which means he has no intention of speaking. I’m surprised he didn’t follow Keira out the door.
“W-what’s going on?” I stumble over my words, because I’m seconds away from crying.
Folding his arms, he pins me with a cold stare. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
“Hunter, enough. Stop talking in riddles and tell me what’s wrong? Why didn’t you call me? When did you get back?”
“Yesterday,” he blankly replies, while a wheeze leaves my lungs.
“Yesterday? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I thought you’d be indisposed.”
“Doing what?” I yell, arms out wide.
He narrows his eyes and the space between us fills with nothing but darkness. “I guess the better question there is who.”
My heart begins to race. My palms begin to sweat. I’m certain I’m seconds away from having a stroke. “Excuse me? Are you implying you couldn’t call me because I was too busy fucking half of Manhattan?”
When he shakes his head, I hope to god I’m lost in translation. “No, not half of Manhattan.” I take a premature breath, because what he says next leaves me gasping for air. “Just one person.”
I�
�m utterly offended, not to mention, so confused. “I’m done playing games. You either tell me what’s wrong, or I walk. I didn’t sign up for this.”
Hunter has the audacity to laugh, but nothing about the sound is cheerful. He pushes off the counter, stalking coolly toward me like I’m prey. I stand my ground, refusing to budge until he tells me what’s going on.
He stops a few feet away, surveying every inch of me. Normally, I would smolder under his gaze, but now, I just feel empty. “The last time we spoke, you said you saw Maddy. Was that true?”
Oh…god. He knows? But how?
“Was it true?” he presses, jaw clenched.
Everything begins to unravel. If only I had told him the truth. “No,” I confess. Hunter curls his lip, recoiling backward. “I can explain!”
But I can see it’s too late for explanations. “Explain what, exactly? That you’re a cheater? A liar? A chameleon?”
I may be many things, but a cheater I’m not. That’s a massive deal breaker for me, and to be accused of being one—I’m more than insulted. “Like you can talk!” I snap, advancing forward. “The minute I turn my back, you’re offering your cock to Keira on a silver platter!”
He sniggers, shaking his head, the anger rolling off of him in waves. Caging me with his imposing form, he lowers his face inches from mine. “I didn’t think you’d mind…seeing as you’re fucking Gail.”
I stagger backward, his ugly words ricocheting in my ears. “Dinner is a lot different than fucking,” I snarl, revealing my true whereabouts the night he called.
Hunter exhales, appearing to steady his breathing. “The fact you had dinner with that motherfucker…” He pauses, swallowing. “Whether you’re fucking him or not, it makes no difference. You lied to me. I can’t believe a word you say.”
My world starts unraveling and I have no one to blame but myself. “Let me explain!”
“No,” he firmly states, pulling away and taking a piece of me with him. “I can’t even look at you, because when I do, all I see is that red fucking dress!”
I attempt to decode what that means, because what in the hell…it takes me a minute, but I soon realize he’s talking about the dress I wore to dinner, the dress which I now must burn. How does he know what I wore?
A lightbulb goes off and I shake my head, horrified. “You’re spying on me? Did you even go to China? Or was all of this some test to see if I’d open my legs the moment you crossed international waters?” I shout.
My emotions are off tap, bouncing from anger, to sadness, to completely insulted, back to anger.
Hunter’s jaw is clenched so tightly, I’m certain he’s about to break teeth. He looks torn, but there’s something else. There’s something he’s not telling me, which is the main reason behind this insanity.
“Someone who actually gives a fuck about me thought I should know.”
No points for guessing just who this good Samaritan is.
No matter how hurt I am, this is my fault. I never should have lied to Hunter and told him from the get go what I was doing. But these accusations, how can he believe I would do that to him? Yes, I went to dinner with Gail, but he won’t even let me explain why. Does he really think that little of me? Of us?
When we’re braced in deadlock, I know the answer is yes.
“I fucked up, and I’m sorry,” I confess, sniffing back my tears. “But if you’d actually listen to me and let me explain why I lied, you’d understand.” Hunter sighs, eyes vacant. He’s just as torn as me.
Taking a risk and hoping stepping into the lion’s den won’t leave me with scars, I step forward, needing to be close to him. My heart breaks when he shifts backward.
“I have no idea what’s going on. But it appears you don’t, either. Whatever you think you saw, I can assure it’s wrong. And Keira, who I’m assuming is the person who told you, is a lot smarter than I thought she was. I mean, it seems she’s able to break apart something I thought was pretty solid. But maybe I was right after all…”
Betrayal tears slip past the floodgates and roll down my cheeks. Hunter’s face softens, but it’s too late. “You really are too good to be true.”
There, I said it. The monkey on my back. I knew this was bound to happen sooner or later, because some fairy tales are just a tragedy in disguise. My entire body weeps, and I need to leave before I cry ugly tears.
I turn to leave, but Hunter lunges forward, seizing my wrist. “Shortcake…”
Once upon a time, his touch was everything I craved, but now, it’s a sad reminder of how one’s world can come crumbling down before their eyes.
I wait for him to tell me this is all going to be okay, but when his fingers eventually slip away, I know that nothing will be okay between us ever again. Unable to stomach this sorrow, I walk from the kitchen, not naïve enough to think Hunter will follow.
This can’t be happening. But I suppose I don’t even know what is happening. Hunter has returned from China with a fistful of puzzle pieces, but they don’t fit into this very elaborate puzzle. Tears begin to flow freely, and I know before long, I won’t be able to stop.
Diving into the safety of the bathroom, I slam the door shut behind me and lean up against the woodgrain. Closing my eyes, I allow the ugly tears to fall, but they soon take a backseat when I hear I’m not alone.
“Oh, sshh, sweetie. You knew you were always going to lose.” That voice…I want to silence it, and the person it belongs to. I have no control over my body when my eyes waver open and I focus on a smug Keira. This is her fault, and she is going to pay.
I charge forward, forgetting my tears, my anger spurring me on. She reads my intent to kill her with my bare hands and yelps, running into the safety of a stall. Her spineless actions only inflame my rage, and I pound on the door, kicking and screaming that she face me like a woman.
“I swear to god, if you don’t come out, I will…” but my threat is never delivered because it appears Keira is always a step ahead.
“She can fuck whomever she likes. We’re not exclusive. Just having fun.” I know Hunter is not in the stall with her, but the voice I just heard was definitely his. It sounds once again, in case I didn’t catch the memo the first time around.
“Just in case you’re wondering…that was recorded last night, right before Hunter fucked me, and he fucked me good.”
No, not again.
Placing a hand over my mouth to hold back the vomit, I stagger away from the cubical door, the walls closing in on me as I attempt to breathe. “There must be some mistake…” but how can I deny what I just heard? And what I just heard was my worst nightmare come true.
That hypocrite. That motherfucking liar.
“I feel sorry for you. All this time, you thought you were special. You thought you could tame New York’s biggest player, but in reality, you were just someone to have fun with. I guess I’m that person now.”
Her triumph is clear, but I suppose that’s because she’s won.
“Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? How many other people did he fuck while you two were apparently a thing? I mean, if he thinks it’s okay for you to fuck whomever you like because you were never exclusive, then surely, it’s okay for him too. I know it was more than okay last night.”
I want to scream, kick down the door, and tell her she’s wrong. But I don’t, because she’s right. This entire time, I was fooling myself into thinking that Hunter could remain faithful. I wanted to believe so badly that he had changed, changed for me, but this recording proves I was so wrong. I was caught up in a future I wanted to believe was real.
We were never exclusive, and Hunter is only angry I had dinner and supposed sex with Gail because he’s a narcissistic asshole who can’t stand I interacted with the man he hates more than anyone in this world.
His big ego is bruised because only he can play the field, it seems. Well, fuck him. Fuck Keira. Fuck it all. I storm from the bathroom, unable to be in here because I’m on the cusp of suffocating.
Everyt
hing is haywire. My good sense tells me that this is wrong. Hunter would never do this, and what we had was real. But the man I saw moments ago is not the man I thought Hunter was. I never thought I’d see him so cold, not even giving me a chance to explain.
Everything I thought I knew has been turned on its axis, and I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong. Tears blur my vision, and I don’t realize who I’ve bumped into until it’s too late. “Mary…”
Hunter attempts to touch me, but it’s too late. The thought of his hands on me makes me physically ill. “No, leave me alone!”
“I’m sorry,” he says, but the sad part is, I don’t know what exactly he’s sorry for. “I should have told you…” I already know! “I should have let you explain…” But we’re way past explanations. I’ve heard all I need to hear.
When he tries to reach out once again, I do the only thing I can. I slap his cheek so hard, I’m certain I’ve broken my hand—but I welcome the sting. “Don’t you touch me ever again! You have some nerve.”
He rubs his reddening cheek, moving his jaw from side to side. “I deserve that, but—”
But nothing. “No!” I repeat. I can’t stomach him making excuses for his deplorable actions. I’ll never be able to forgive his betrayal. “Leave me alone. I never want to see you again.”
I ignore the torture behind those eyes, because it’s wishful thinking, and it’s what got me into trouble in the first place. “Mary, please…I need to tell you something…”
“Why should I listen to what you have to say when you couldn’t show me the same decency? Us…” I gesture with two fingers between us, tears pooling in my eyes. “We’re a mistake. I’m done. We were fooling ourselves into thinking this was something it clearly wasn’t.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do.” His words playing on a loop encourage me as I allow one single tear to fall. “I mean, once a manwhore…always a manwhore. Goodbye, Hunter.”
He blinks once, his face a perfect blank sheet. “Goodbye, Mary.” I refuse to believe the waver to his voice is because his heart is breaking just like mine.
The Hunt - Monica James Page 25