Her hand left the crystal and moments later he felt it touch his cheek, the fingers running downward till they closed in the hair that grew on the back of his neck. Before he could stop her, she’d pulled his head back by the scruff.
His eyes flew open as he froze, obeying instincts lost in a childhood spent on the wrong side of the hearth as a parent-less cub.
“No,” he said hoarsely, unable to pull away from her. “Carrie, don’t. Not that.”
He sensed her hesitation, then she released him. He lifted his head, seeing her about to move away. No, don’t go! He couldn’t let this moment slip by! If he did, he’d never have the courage to face her again. Reaching out, he caught hold of her, clumsily pulling her to his side with his one useable arm.
“You’ve seen the dark side of me, Carrie, you know what I am, the things I’ve done. I make no apologies for them. Do you still want me as your third, knowing all that?” he asked, his voice low and rough.
I chose you, Kaid, she sent, because I wanted you.
His arm tightened round her. “What happens if one day this forced rapport takes over and you’re unable to stop me?” he asked, looking down into her eyes, unable to hide the hope in his.
“It won’t happen. I can prove it if you let me.”
“Then show me,” he said, his voice barely more than a low growl as his mouth closed on hers.
Her hands came up to hold his face, gentle over his injured cheek. The kiss seemed to last forever as he responded in kind, his tongue darting across her lips then touching the soft insides of her mouth. Gods, he wanted her so much!
Vartra, let this not be a dream-within-a-dream! I’ll do anything you ask, just let this be real!
The taste, the touch, the feel of her was all so new, not only because of the years of celibacy, but because she was so very different.
Then her hands touched his body, held him close to hers, and all thought of anything but now vanished. His breathing fast and ragged, he clenched his hand in her hair, pulling her head back, arching her long throat toward him.
He bit at her lips and tongue tip with a flurry of gentle nips, then his tongue was flicking over the soft underside of her jaw. Moving his head lower, he nuzzled aside her robe as his hand reached to undo the tie belt.
It fell open and with every sense he possessed, he drank in the sight and smell of her smooth, pale body. He could feel her mind alongside his as his mouth closed over her throat with a gentle yet firm pressure.
“Kaid.” The word was no more than a whisper of her breath against his ears.
He released her and raised his head, looking directly into her eyes—Sholan eyes, the lids, like his, half-closed with desire.
“Tallinu,” he said, his voice a deep purr. “Call me by my chosen name.”
“Tallinu,” she whispered.
He covered her face in tiny bites, his hand moving to push the robe off one shoulder, then the other. This time wouldn’t end like the last, finished before it began.
Let your barriers down, she sent as he pulled the sleeves free of her arms. Stop trying to control it, just share what you’re experiencing.
He tried, his hand running hesitantly over naked skin as silky as any Sholan’s belly fur. He caressed her face, her neck, then his hand ran down her side to her flank, reveling in at last being able to enjoy the firmness of her body. Gradually, he was forgetting his fear, was getting swept into the pure sensual enjoyment of touching her.
His tongue travelled across her throat and shoulders, alternately licking and nipping at her flesh, loving her nakedness that enhanced his pleasure.
The need to anchor himself in the present, to feel the reality of now again, drove him, and finally the barriers behind which he’d hidden all his life dropped. Her mind touched his again, establishing an even deeper rapport. He pressed his injured right arm against her side, his tail flicking across her leg, twining round it in his need to hold her completely.
Let me feel what you feel, she urged.
Then he felt her pleasure, felt the fire start low in her belly, spreading outward till it licked at him. She arched her body against his, pressing his still-pulsing crystal between them.
He shuddered, his claws flexing out then retracting as he drew them down the soft skin on the inside of her thigh. His hand slid up over her hips, reaching for a tail that didn’t exist, then he remembered and returned to explore the softness of her thighs. His tongue flicked lower, his hand following to caress the swell of her belly, sensing the new life that slept within her. There was a rightness about this moment, and he felt an inner peace. He realized then the irony and simplicity of the situation they’d all been placed in.
She reached down, pulling his head upward. This is how it should be, she sent, her mouth taking his in a kiss that was wild and fierce. Her hand closed on his naked flesh, sending a spasm of pleasure surging through him.
He gave a ragged moan and lifted his head as his hand grasped her wrist, holding it still.
Carrie, for pity’s sake, don’t! I’ll be spent too soon!
She released him but the wave of tension that heralded his secondary phase had already started. Ignoring the pain in his injured hand, he turned her on her side, her back toward him. Pushing her legs forward, he grasped her by the hips and pulled her down onto himself. Not a moment too soon. As her warmth closed around him, he swelled inside her, then their bodies were moving to a rhythm as old as time. Suddenly her mind exploded within his, creating such closeness that their responses to each other were inextricably intertwined. Sensations belonging to them both surged through him, wave after wave of them as he was swept upward with her to their climax.
Slowly their minds spiraled down into a motionless peace. Then suddenly she felt his hand clench as he moved back from her, turning his face into the robe on which they lay. She felt the self-control he’d hidden behind all his life break, leaving him unable to cope with the emotions that were now flooding through him. She turned over, moving toward him.
“Leave me,” he said, his voice barely audible, as he pulled his arm protectively round his head.
She ignored him, moving closer till their bodies touched again. Reaching out, she touched his head, stroking gently downward.
His ears flattened, almost disappeared within his hair as he began to shake.
Carrie gathered him close, insisting when he tried to resist her. His hand reached blindly for hers, pressing it tightly to his chest as he buried his face against her shoulder. The tears he shed hurt, but they were also the beginning of his healing. He clung to her, knowing only that with her he could let those barriers go completely, knowing that for him she represented a need so basic that he couldn’t remember not needing her.
She held him close, gently rocking him, saying quiet words of comfort. Gradually he grew calmer. He lifted his head, wiping his forearm across his eyes, trying not to look at her. She reached for his face, a hand on either cheek, and brought him close till she could gently kiss first one eye, then the other, before she let him go.
He lay back, reaching out to touch her face with a hand that wasn’t yet steady. As he began to open his mouth, her fingers were there first, briefly touching his lips.
No need for words, she sent. You were there for me when I needed you.
He held her close, feeling the years of mental isolation and fear of his talent at last start to dissolve. She’d been right.
He started to purr, then it turned into a shaky chuckle.
What’s so funny? Her mental tone now sounded lazy, pleasantly satisfied.
Us. Vartra Himself arranged the timing perfectly!
Mm?
You’re the only telepathic female who could know my mind and not recoil in horror at what I am. You’re also the only one I couldn’t mentally harm or overpower—and you’re already pregnant so I didn’t need to fear that …
I suppose He did.
He felt her begin to shiver. Sitting up, he slid off the bed, staggering slightly as
he stood up. Instantly she was at his side to support him. “I should have remembered you’ve been bedridden for several days,” she said solicitously. “I was surprised to see you in here.”
“I’m fine,” he said, leaning forward to pull the bed cover off. He started to put it round her. “Wrap yourself in this, you’re freezing.”
She did as he said, then sat on the bed looking up at him. “I ought to get dressed,” she said. “Noni will be back shortly, not to mention Dzaka.”
“Noni’s been trying to get me to bed you since I first brought you here.”
“Because of the Fire Margins.”
“That’s in the future,” he said. “Let’s leave it there for now.” His ears were laid back slightly in apprehension. “I’d like to stay with you for a while, but not here, in the other room.”
She stood and, reaching up to him, placed a finger against his lips. I’ll stay while you sleep, she sent, and he knew she understood the fear he still had that this was no more than a drug dream.
He picked up her robe and threw it over a chair. “You can’t wear that now. I’ll lend you mine.”
Automatically she picked up her silver-caged crystal from the night table where she’d left it before her shower, and slipped the chain over her head. She wore it constantly now, feeling naked without its warm weight between her breasts. Then she reached out and took his hand, drawing him into the main room.
Still dressed in his robe, she burrowed under the cover of the large bed in the kitchen. Almost hesitantly, he joined her. Carefully he slipped his good arm under her neck, and gathered her against him, feeling her warmth reaching more than just his body. Looking at her, her eyes heavy now with sleepiness and shared pleasure, he remembered the day he’d gone to the temple to collect the agreement between Kusac and the Brotherhood.
“You need to care what happens to them or none of you will return! Do you think you can learn to do that, Kaid?” Ghyan had asked sarcastically. “Learn to care? You’ll have to if she’s going to accept you—if Kusac is.”
Ghyan hadn’t realized the distress he’d felt knowing he could do nothing to stop Carrie’s Challenge, knowing the risk she was taking and being unable to even express his fears to anyone.
Those days are gone now, she sent, touching his face with gentle fingers.
“There’s so much to say that I don’t know where to start,” he said at length, his voice low and quiet. “As Vartra’s my witness, I never intended that you should get inside my heart, Carrie. That’s partly why I fought against the Triad for so long.”
She lay there, her breath warm against his chest, listening.
“You don’t realize what it was like, suddenly having feelings for a female after so long. I didn’t know what to do … how to cope! I care about you both, but what I feel for you …” He broke off for a moment. “Feelings have never come easy to me. I learned long ago to live without them. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.”
“I know,” she said, her hand reaching for his. “I guessed that might be the case when you took care of me when I was pregnant the first time. I knew for sure when you appeared at the Shrine.”
“That was a dream,” he said, gripping her hand so tightly his claws began to prick her skin.
“No. It was real, Tallinu. We don’t know how, but it was. So is this, but in a different way. We physically brought you here,” she said soothingly. “We are here, together for now. Ghezu was wrong. He didn’t win, Tallinu, you did.”
He sighed, letting his eyes close and his grip relax. “I know,” he said, but deep inside, all the pain and the fear he’d suffered at Stronghold was a black pit, and he still stood on its edge.
*
Noni returned after dark. As she reached her door, Dzaka emerged from the aircar and joined her.
She glowered at him. “What you doing out here, brat?”
He frowned, disliking the word. “He’s with her.”
“Which her?” she demanded.
“The Human, Carrie, of course.”
She nodded, pleased at the news. “Is he now? Good.”
“Good?” said Dzaka.
“Your father’s not a celibate, boy. He might have lived like one, but he isn’t. It’s long past time he had a lover, and they needed to pair. He’s part of their Triad.” She opened the door and stepped inside, turning back to him. “They’re asleep. No need for you to sit out there.”
Reluctantly he followed her in, going over to the chair at the far side of the room.
She activated the lights, keeping them low so as not to wake the sleepers. Going over to her stove, she put water on to boil for a brew of c’shar. That organized, she went to the bed, looking down at them.
He looked better, his face more relaxed than she’d seen it since they’d brought him here. His mind felt better too, some of the darkness, the brittleness, was going. She frowned, recognizing a difference in him but unable to pinpoint it. She glanced at the female. She felt well enough, content with her Leska and her approaching motherhood—and Tallinu.
He stirred, the light disturbing his eyes. He knew Noni was back, he could smell and sense her. As he looked across at her, they locked eyes.
“So that’s the secret you’ve carried all these years,” she said, nodding her head slowly. “Now you begin to make sense to me, Tallinu the Foundling. It’s a wonder you survived Ghezu’s drug.” She held up her hand in a negative before he could speak. “I’ll say nothing, never fear.” Then she began to laugh quietly.
“What?” he asked, his voice drowsy with sleep.
“You three. What a Triad you’ll make! Now you’ve finally paired with her, I can see that everything that’s happened to you has just put your feet more firmly on the path to the Margins, Tallinu.”
A movement behind her caught his eye. He raised his head to see Dzaka standing there.
Dzaka pointedly looked from him to Carrie.
“My life, Dzaka,” he said. “The debt I felt I owed to Khemu is paid.” He closed his eyes again, pain creasing his face as his recent activity caught up with him. “We need to talk when I’m better.”
“Dzaka, the hypoderm. He needs a dose for the pain,” ordered Noni.
He could feel Carrie’s weight on his arm, against his chest: smell her scent. She was still there, warm against his body. Nothing had changed while he slept. Even the return of the pain was welcome. He knew without doubt he was here. He felt the slight sting of the hypo against his neck and allowed himself to relax into its welcome relief. He was asleep again before Dzaka had returned the instrument to its case.
*
Garras was away on his family estate for a few days so Vanna was pleased to have Kusac’s company. When she woke to feed Marak, she found him standing looking out of the window.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, leaning down to pick Marak up from his crib.
“Nothing.”
“So it’s happened, has it?”
“Mm?”
“It’s happened.”
He turned round, ears flicking in momentary confusion. “What?”
“The Triad. It’s happened,” she said, raising her voice to speak over the top of her son’s sudden insistent yowling.
“That happened several hours ago, Vanna,” he said. “Why should that worry me?”
“I just thought … that is … I mean …”
“Vanna,” he said gently, walking over to her and touching her cheek, “I think you’d better feed him.”
“Yes … I think I had,” she said, unsure what else to say.
Kusac held out his arms toward her. “You’re not really awake, are you? Come on, give him to me while you get back into bed and get comfortable.”
She passed Marak over, surprised to see he knew how to hold the cub.
“Go on,” he said, holding the little one close while supporting him under his rear. His eyes lit up with humor and his mouth spread in a grin that was very human. “I could do with the practice! As well
as being an uncle to Marak, Taizia’s cub will be born before long, then soon after, we’ll have our own cub.” She could hear the quiet pride in his voice.
Going back to the bed, she picked up the towel that hung over the head of Marak’s crib. Settling herself comfortably on her side, she spread it over the sheet.
“Watch the cloth,” she warned.
“I am, and don’t worry, he’s still clean,” he said as he passed Marak back to her, making sure the cloth round the tiny cub’s nether regions didn’t fall off.
“That’s a first,” she said as he laid the cub down on the towel. She held him close against her breast.
Kusac knelt down till his head was level with the bed and stayed there, watching while the hungry cub clung to his mother, sucking lustily. Reaching out, he touched him gently on the head but Marak, with a small noise of complaint and much flicking of tiny ears, moved closer to Vanna, hands clutching tighter to her pelt.
“He’s only got one thought on his mind just now,” said Vanna, cradling her arms round her son.
“I know. I can feel it.”
“You’ve never been this close to a newborn cub before, have you?”
He shook his head. “Never. I was staying at the Guild by the time both Taizia and Kitra were born. Are they all like this?”
“Hungry?” she laughed.
“No. This small and so determined!”
“Yes, but it doesn’t last. You blink and they’re grown up. I know that from watching Sashti’s cubs.”
“How’s Garras coping?”
She reached out to ruffle the hair between Kusac’s ears. “He’s as fascinated by him as you obviously are!”
“Has he any cubs?”
“None. He never met anyone he wanted to share his cubs with.”
Kusac sighed gently. “It’s a damned shame you and he can’t …”
“That’s not necessarily true,” she interrupted. “Since the ni’uzu epidemic there are quite a few people with the potential to be compatible with us, and Garras is one of them. We think that with a little help from the labs, it may well be possible for me to have his cub.”
Fire Margins Page 69