by Linda Gerald
The woman looked sad. She sat on the side of the shimmering turquoise coverlet of his wife’s charming bed. “I don’t know. There is such fear in my heart. What if I am a murderer or something evil?”
These words brought a smile to his lips. She was young and naive. He had never experienced such intense desire. His feelings weren’t lust but loftier than that mere human desire. He saw a future in this beauty, but he must move cautiously. It was not his wish to hurt her or himself. Not knowing what to do, he suggested that they “get a good night’s sleep.”
“We will both be here tomorrow. Together, we will move ahead very slowly with respect for each of our damaged psyches. Does that sound wise?”
So much trauma for one day, desire for escape from decisions and fear, caused her smile. “Let’s talk tomorrow. Are you free tomorrow? I mean, must you report to some demanding office?”
He felt amazed with her compassion. He kissed her gently on the forehead. He closed the hall doors and opened a set of French doors across the room. They opened into another bedroom. He motioned to his bed.
“I’ll be just there. You will not be alone for as long as you need me. I have no family now. Don’t be afraid. You need sleep.” With those words, he quietly walked into the other room and closed the door. Intently, he looked at her again before leaving.
Tears of disbelief and joy trickled from her eyes that had endured great strain. Carefully, she pulled the gorgeous covers back. The beautiful turquoise room began to spin gently. The linens were soft with a sheen. Certain that this was different from what she was accustomed; she closed her eyes with confidence that she was, at least, safe for now.
FIVE: POSSIBILITIES
A bird, outside the window, awakened her with his melodious song. She smiled. Then, she remembered her plight. Tiredness overcame her. What was she going to do? Her eyes darted around the room. As her eyes took in the gorgeous place, confusion clouded her mind. This room was not the room where she retired last night. How had she gotten into another room? Quickly, she sat up. Turning to her right, she saw Mr. Grover lying on the bed beside her watching her. She was in his bed. Confusion and fear, two constant companions, flowed through her mind.
“I don’t understand. This room is not where I went to sleep. I don’t recall getting up during the night. How did I get here?”
“You came running into the room during the evening. You were crying and talking about ‘the unfairness of the situation.’ Don’t you remember? I tried to comfort you, but you wouldn’t allow me to touch you. You have peacefully slept since then. The mornings are my favorite time. I awaken early, just as I did when I worked as an attorney in my practice.” He smiled.
The girl was confused. How could she possibly have done these actions without any recollection? Was this man as kind, as she previously deducted, or was he a manipulative monster? Sadly, she shook her head. It was imperative that she stop doubting every action, which Mr. Grover committed, or she would lose the rest of her mind.
“Look, I think that we should get up and have an excellent breakfast. Dottie usually prepares breakfast, but today I’m going to spoil you with Eggs Benedict. Do you like it?”
“Don’t know if I’ve ever had it. You don’t need to do special things for me. I should prepare something for you.”
“You do not need to cook here. I pay someone to do that for us, for me.” He lowered his eyes. What was this need to rush things? He was behaving like a confused schoolboy.
He held out a robe for her. It was turquoise, the same color as the coverlet on the bed of Edwina. She took it. As he turned, she quickly slipped into the silky, luxurious wrap.
“Was this your wife’s?”
He nodded, “Yes.”
“Please feel free to choose any of Edwina’s clothes. They have hung in the exact spot for so long.” He left her alone as he walked into the other room and closed the door. The sound of his shower seemed normal.
Slowly, she walked to the first bed. She studied the sheets carefully. Everything appeared calm and orderly. For a while, she was alone without fear. How did she get into his bed? His explanation made no sense. It appeared more and more that she was mad. Had she completely lost her mind?
The young woman without memory carefully looked at the memories of another woman. The woman who belonged here. Insecurity and doubt plagued the guest. She was sure that she was nothing like the glamorous, Edwina Grover. How could she ever be happy, when she didn’t even know herself?
A beautiful silver vanity set pulled her attention to the dainty desk, where the accomplished woman had brushed her hair and applied her make-up each morning. The stranger reached for the silver brush and comb. There was a small chest. It contained all sorts of hair paraphernalia. Several silver combs sparkled in the morning light. What beautiful things must have delighted Edwina each morning. The girl chose a handsome, large comb and inserted it into her dark hair. The silver, against the blue-blackness of her hair, was stunning.
Carefully, she looked into each drawer. Pale underwear of every pastel color waited carefully folded and arranged according to hue. It seemed an invasion to wear someone’s lingerie, but she did not have a choice. Nervously, she selected a white bra and panties. They fit her perfectly. The two women must be the same frame. She smiled at her reflection.
With a little more confidence, she walked to the huge closet. It remained stuffed with every sort of appropriate attire and shoes. This cache of clothes was every woman’s dream: owning a closet filled with such treasures. Instantly, she noted a gorgeous pair of cream boots. The leather was exquisite. From their appearance, they were brand-new. They were only slightly too large for her, so she stuffed some paper into the toes. Then they fit fine.
A cashmere sweater, of the palest green, seemed to call for her to pick it. Next, she discovered a drawer of designer jeans. They also fit like a glove. What an attractive ensemble she had chosen; she smiled at her reflection in the large mirror edged in gold.
Happily, she returned to the dressing table and applied some of Edwina’s makeup. Her colors were a little darker than the slip of a woman trying to wear them, but they were better than none. Just as she stepped back to enjoy her reflection, the door opened.
He did not look happy. The gaze, which he leveled at her, was painful to read. No words uttered for the longest time.
“Well, you seem to have found everything. You look beautiful.”
She was confident that she noted displeasure. “I can choose something else, or you tell me what to wear. I am sorry. I have overstepped my bounds. Please forgive me.” Her festive spirits plummeted.
Mr. Grover walked to a sofa by the window. Gently, he sat and put his head in his hands. Again, silence pervaded. The young woman waited. Would he ask her to leave? What mistake had she committed? Hadn’t she done as instructed?
“I am sorry. You see, you look so much like my beautiful Edwina, when she was very young. I didn’t realize it until I saw you in her clothes. That happens to be one of her favorite outfits on a day at home. We loved to walk the property on a frosty morning. She would select rocks and strange, dead-looking branches. Then, when we returned home, she would design incredible vases. These changed almost daily. That was one of her passions, making beauty from the ordinary.” He looked up at her with tears in his eyes.
“I don’t know if I can ever enjoy life without my love. She haunts my thoughts and dreams daily. Forever, she will remain the love of my life. I’m sorry, but you need to know that. Whatever happens between you and me: lovers, friends, she will always be the one. Any other relationship is as naught to me.”
Those words did not daunt the stranger. She understood his meaning. Quietly, she walked to his side and took his hand.
“It was never my intention to gain your affection. I can’t explain how unworthy I feel as I sit at her vanity or wear her clothes. Earlier, you said that we should just enjoy each other. Is that still possible or have you decided that you are unable? Of course, it
is your choice. I will gladly do whatever you say.”
Tears glided down his face. He had not shaved today. A little stubble covered his chin. A chill went up her back as she studied him. He was very handsome. If only she could soothe his spirit. She took his hand and waited. They studied each other intensely. Both felt aware of the awkwardness of their plight: Someone suddenly seems to be dropped into your life. What was the proper behavior?
“So sorry about this loss of control; please forgive me. Come on, let’s enjoy a good breakfast. We can’t know when you last ate.”
Together, they exited the room and walked down the stairs. The thick, red carpet sank slightly beneath her steps. She longed to remove the boots and run down the stairs barefooted. If only she could be herself.
A small cry escaped her as she took in the opulence of the hall. Last night, she had not noticed the black and white marble covering the floor of the grand entrance. A gigantic, circular table stood in the center. The top graced with a beautiful copper pot. All sorts of different varieties of flowers filled it. The colors were dark with many reds. Red must have been one of Edwina’s favorite colors. Now, it would be hers as well. An extraordinary chandelier graced the center of the foyer. She tried to imagine grand parties hosted by Harry and Edwina.
“Your home is most beautiful.” She suddenly felt unimportant again. It seemed that any self-confidence vanished quickly. Just a look from Mr. Grover plunged the young girl into uncertainty.
“Do you like it? I know that it is a little strange with all of the lights and the constant playing of ‘Enchanted.’ I do love it so.” He smiled with pleasure.
In the light of day, he felt embarrassed by his longing last night. She must think him an “old fool.” He had no desires or longing for any relationship with her today. His smile radiated only pleasure and pride. Together, arm-in-arm, they entered the sunny kitchen. Two lonely and damaged souls, who only sought peace and shelter from the storms of fear and loss.
SIX: MISS DOTTIE
The golden sunlight streamed, like streaks of butter, into the bright, French-style kitchen. Edwina was a fan of anything “French.” The walls were painted that beautiful French red like the perfect red of a Lancome lipstick. Antique, blue and white porcelain bowls shined through the sparkling glass of the cabinets as well as glowing large yellow platters and bowls atop the dark mahogany shelves. The stranger felt like a child in a candy store. She gazed at the beautiful treasures.
Hungrily, she consumed the perfect Eggs Benedict with Starbucks French Roast Espresso coffee, which her host prepared. At one point, Mr. Grover held her hand as he described the “perfect” day with Edwina. Many days, she busied herself in the city with fund-raising or shopping. Lots of friends kept her life filled with joy and contentment. However, her husband was the jewel of her life. Her favorite day was one when she pulled on a pair of jeans and walked hand-in-hand with her love around the estate. They enjoyed picking up “treasures” in their path. Edwina had many collections, of such natural gifts, waiting for her skilled hands to assemble into presents for her friends or sold for charities.
When Mr. Grover realized that her hand was gently clasped by his, an uncomfortable feeling overcame him, and quickly he let it go. At that moment, it seemed that such actions were foolish. Therefore, determination to keep her removed from his emotions rattled the poor man. She was merely a lovely guest in his home. At the least, she had provided him a distinct purpose of caring for her until located by a family. Certainly, her family was frantic.
Miss Dottie arrived as they finished their last sip of coffee. Mr. Grover was clearing the table when she sauntered into the room. She dressed in a white dress, which she preferred, with white-laced shoes. A large, green roller tucked into the back of her hair. It pulled the strands off her face. Many mornings, she arrived with the curler. It provided a constant source of enjoyment for Mr. Grover. He enjoyed removing it and holding it in her face. Her brown eyes would light up with his joviality. Dottie and Mr. Grover had shared a lifetime of memories.
This morning, her mouth dropped opened at his guest. She stood, in the door, holding a large shopping bag filled with whatever she brought each morning. It amazed her to see this younger woman seated in Ms. Edwina’s place at the table. The older woman found it incorrigible that Mr. Grover would behave in such a ridiculous way. This interloper did resemble a young Edwina, but she was not Edwina Grover. Nor, would she ever be able to attain the lofty status of one so beloved.
Mr. Grover was totally unprepared for the glare from Dottie. Suddenly, he felt silly. With a look of disappointment, he studied his long-time employee. She was not happy. Her gaze leveled at the back of the young woman’s head. Her eyes refused to roll away from the hateful mass of blue-black hair. Ms. Edwina’s hair was much more regal, she thought.
“Hello, Miss Dottie. How are you on this sunny morning? It sure is warm outside for this time of year.” Mr. Grover attempted to behave normally.
“Um-huh, it looks pretty hot in here as well.”
“Now what is that supposed to mean? Let me present our house guest.” He stopped as he became aware that he did not know her name. This situation created an awkward moment for everyone except Dottie.
“If you ask me, her name is Ms. Edwina want-to-be. I’m just saying.” With that announcement, she began removing cleaning items from her shopping bag. The young guest was shocked. She was unsure how to respond, so she remained quiet.
“Now, Ms. Dottie, this is most unlike you. Our young woman experienced an accident which resulted in no memory. Surely, you can show her some respect and mercy.”
“Umm. Respect and mercy? Hey, lady, lovely to meet you.” Under her breath, she mumbled, “Edwina want-to-be.”
Mr. Grover, who always thought that everyone should be civil and agreeable, became shocked. He must get Dottie to accept the guest, or it would be unbearable for everyone.
“Dottie, help me think of a lovely name for our new friend.” He beamed kindly at the older woman.
“I have the perfect name.” She smiled sweetly.
“Lovely, let’s hear it. We knew that you would ‘save the day.’” He smiled at the back of Ms. Dottie’s head.
“Ok, here it is. Hello, Edwina want-to-be. How’s you this sunny, autumn morning?” Immediately, she returned to unloading her bag.
Never, in all of the time that he employed her, had Dottie ever caused him a disappointment at least not until that moment. He felt shocked and betrayed.
“See here, old girl, this is not acceptable. You will follow me right now. We need to have a little talk.” Dottie continued to unload her bag.
“Now, Dottie George! Right now!” He stormed from the room. Dottie stormed behind.
Another drama because of her, the young woman felt awful. Never, would she want to cause dissension for this kind man. The intense exchange of words, in the next room, sounded pretty awful. Mr. Grover had the last word. Soon, they marched back to the kitchen.
Miss Dottie approached with fire in her eyes, but she smiled sweetly again. “Well, let’s see now. I think this lovely lady should have a youthful name. Let me think. Ummm. How about, Rock Star. You know one of those slutty women who sing and dance half-naked on stage?”
“Dottie, one more episode and you will be sent home. Apologize.” No words of apology were offered.
“You apologize, now.” Grover’s anger boomed in his voice.
“Oh, all right. How about, Elizabeth? I always told Ms. Edwina that she looked just like Elizabeth Taylor. I am sorry for being rude.” The sweet smile framed by fire from her dark eyes.
Mr. Grover knew that was as good as it would get. Now he waited to see if the guest would break out in tears. She seemed to cry all of the time. To his amazement, the lovely woman arose from her chair. Walking toward Ms. Dottie, she hugged her gently.
“That is such a beautiful name. I hope, that when I find my real name, it is Elizabeth. Thank you so much, Ms. Dottie. Elizabeth it is.” Again she
hugged Dottie and beamed at Mr. Grover.
“I’m so glad that Ms. Dottie has solved a major obstacle. I love my new name.” The young guest seemed genuinely impressed.
He returned her grateful smile. Never, did he ever remember Edwina hugging Dottie. The same thought raced through Dottie’s mind.
That was kind. I’m not about to let my guard down, though. I’ll kill her if she hurts Mr. Grover.
Everyone stood in a circle, all smiles. They resembled the perfect little family.
“Elizabeth, why don’t you select a warm wrap? Let’s have that long walk, which we discussed.”
Elizabeth nodded with joy. A long walk outside would be wonderful. Joyfully, she ran back to “her” room. Mr. Grover removed the plastic curler, from the hair of his employee and smiled. She smiled back but was sure that no good would come from this new person.
SEVEN: THE WALK
Miss Dottie wiped a tear from her cheek as she watched the handsome couple walk away. From behind, they looked exactly like a young Harry and Edwina Grover when they first employed her over twenty years ago. The small, plump woman closed her eyes as she pictured how the couple could not keep their hands off each other many years ago. Regularly, they touched or kissed lightly on the cheek. Dottie had never seen such a real show of affection. They brought joy to all who were privileged enough to know them.
Sometimes, Dottie George thought she heard Edwina’s soft laughter, even today, echo down the stairs. It wasn’t that she desired for Mr. Grover to keep his life in the past, but how could he settle for anything short of the love that he once knew? Slowly, she cleaned the plates and loaded the dishwasher. A thought came to mind that if her employer insisted on choosing the current path, she might be forced to terminate her employment. Refusal, to watch him create harm for himself, emphasized the fact that she once promised Mrs. Grover that if she died first, Dottie would always stay with Mr. Grover and care for him. Sadly, she shook her head as she considered the mess which he was creating.
Outside, the couple walked silently in the chilly, fall air. “Elizabeth” was quiet. The rebuke of Dottie rang in her ears. Her face flushed from the minor confrontation. The young woman hated arguments and anger. Was she so inferior to this man’s dead wife? She bowed her head as they trudged ahead in the gentle wind which only contributed to the coldness.