by Dean Murray
I zipped my duffle bag open just enough for her to see the dark blue fabric of my other uniform and then I gave her the kind of smirk that she usually bestowed upon me. She obviously wasn't happy, but she gave me a sugar-sweet look in return and then turned to Sheree who had just sat down across from me.
"Sheree, can you come sit in the back with us, please? Cindi and I need to talk to you about the routines we're going to use tonight. You know, flyer stuff."
"Shouldn't Adri be coming then?"
"No, Adri is just a backup and all three of us are here, so I'm sure her help won't be needed."
That last bit was said in the same tone as the rest, but she shot me a look that had enough poorly contained rage in it for me to see that she wasn't very happy at having her plan foiled. I wanted to stand up and punch her in the face, but I knew that would just backfire on me. Right now Miss Winters was on my side and I needed to keep it that way.
"I'm fine, Sheree. You should go back there and find out what's going on tonight. I'll just stay here and catch up on some homework or maybe I'll even take a nap."
I hadn't planned on saying that last bit, but as I said it I realized it was the truth. I'd been gamely going all day, but I was still suffering from the exhaustion inherent in dream walking for such a long time with Alec. I really would be happiest if I got a nap on the way to the game.
Besides, maybe this was the first step in Missy burying the hatchet with Sheree. I didn't want to lose my only friend on the team, but I wasn't selfish enough to think that it was okay for Sheree to be unhappy just so I could be a little less unhappy myself.
Sheree gave me a worried look, but allowed herself to be led back towards the rear of the bus. I watched the two of them sit down and then turned back towards the front of the bus myself and closed my eyes.
It must not have taken very long for the rocking motion of the bus to put me to sleep because it seemed like hardly any time at all passed before Miss Winters started chivying us all up and out of our seats.
"Come on, girls, we're a little behind schedule and this is a key game for our team. The Jaguars are favored to win state."
I'd been half worried that I'd end up dream walking during my nap, but that hadn't happened. Instead I'd slept so deeply that now I was groggy from being woken up. I checked to make sure that my backpack and duffle bag were both zipped up and then stood and followed the rest of the girls off of the bus.
"Adri, you need a locker room so that you can get changed. The girls' locker room is through those doors there and then on the far end of the gym on the right side. Hurry, please."
I nodded and started off in the direction she'd indicated. I found the girls' locker room without any problems and thankfully it was empty of girls from the other school when I arrived. I stripped off my white uniform and put on my blue uniform. The shell went on with no problem, but the skirt went over my hips too easily. For a second I worried that I'd somehow lost even more weight than I'd realized, but that couldn't be the case. My light uniform had fit just fine and both uniforms were the same size.
I let go of my skirt and watched as it instantly dropped down to my ankles. I stepped out of it and then picked it back up. The seam along the side had been cut. It had been fine the last time I'd worn it, I was even pretty sure that it had been fine when I'd put it into my bag this morning.
My mind spun as I tried to put the pieces together. Cindi had been pretty pissed at me the night of the party and she'd been in our room by herself for hours. She could have done it then, but that didn't fit very well with Missy's attempt to make me wear my white uniform today.
It didn't fit, but I couldn't think of any time today when my uniform hadn't been with me…any time other than while I'd been sleeping on the bus, sleeping after having shown Missy that I'd brought the correct uniform after all.
That fit perfectly. It was exactly like her. I could almost see her sitting on the bus trying not to giggle while she took scissors to my skirt. I had to give her credit too, she'd come up with her plan almost instantaneously, that had to be why she'd gotten Sheree to move back there with her. Once she had Sheree distracted then there hadn't been anything to stop her from sneaking up and taking my bag just long enough to do the damage.
I pulled my dark shell back off and slipped back into my white uniform. It only took a couple of minutes to find Miss Winters and the rest of the girls warming up on the visitors' side of the football field while the junior varsity players were doing their calisthenics.
"Adri, why are you still in that uniform? Did you have problems finding the locker room?"
I held up my skirt, making it easy for her to see that the seam had been cut. "I found it just fine, but sometime between when I woke up this morning and when I got off of the bus somebody destroyed my skirt."
I could see the wheels turning inside of her head.
"Do you think you know when it happened?"
I nodded. "I fell asleep on the bus, I'm pretty sure it happened then."
She looked at the pile of bags next to the bleachers where everyone else had put their stuff and then turned back to the rest of the squad. "Okay, I want everyone to stay where you are. Adri is going to keep an eye on all of you to make sure you don't try to ditch the evidence. While she does that, I'm going to search your bags so that I can figure out who ruined Adri's skirt. You can protest if you want and say that I'm violating your civil rights. That's fine, if you don't want me to search your bags I won't, but that will mean that you're off the team."
Some people moved around like they wanted to say something, but nobody did. Miss Winters gave them almost a full minute to protest and then walked over to their things and started opening up bags one at a time.
It took almost fifteen minutes for her to look through everyone's stuff, fifteen long, torturous minutes where it took all of my willpower not to turn and watch Miss Winters instead of watching the other girls, but finally Miss Winters called me over.
"I've checked all of the bags, Adri, and only one has scissors."
She said it in a low enough voice that I was pretty sure the other girls couldn't hear her, which I understood, but I didn't understand why she looked so unhappy.
"It was Missy, wasn't it?"
"No, Adri, it was Cindi. I'm sorry, I know this is going to make things bad at home, but I have to break this bullying ring."
"But Missy is the one who knew I had the other uniform, Missy's the one who got Sheree away so that there wouldn't be any witnesses when my skirt was ruined. Maybe she planted the scissors in Cindi's stuff."
Miss Winters shook her head. "I know this is hard to hear, but Cindi hasn't been acting like normal ever since you joined the team. I just found out tonight that she's failed three tests in the last two weeks."
"But that's my fau…"
I trailed off because the actual number of tests she'd failed finally sank in. Only one test could even remotely be construed as being my fault.
Miss Winters could obviously see that I was in shock. She patted me on the arm and then turned back to the other girls, holding Cindi's light-green bag up where everyone could see it.
"I don't enjoy doing this, but I can't let this kind of behavior go unpunished. Cindi, you're the only one who had scissors in your bag, you're the only one who could have done this. Do you have any explanation for your actions?"
Cindi had gone completely white, but she shook her head.
"Fine. You're suspended from the team effective immediately. You won't be cheering tonight and Adri will be taking your place as the team's third flyer."
"You can't do that!"
Cindi looked like she was nearly ready to cry. Miss Winters' lips went into a tight, thin line.
"I just did. Frankly we would be having a similar conversation at some point if only because your grades are slipping so dramatically, but I'm giving you a chance to earn your way back onto the team because this is the first time I've had problems with you. Get your grades back up and then we ca
n talk about next steps."
I thought Cindi was going to say something else, something that might prevent Miss Winters from ever being able to let her back on the team, but she didn't. Instead she just stalked off, disappearing around the corner of the Jaguars' school in just seconds.
"Does anyone else have anything they'd like to say?"
The rest of the team looked like they were in shock. I would have said that nobody on the whole squad had the guts to say anything after that kind of bombshell, but after only a couple of seconds Missy raised her hand.
"You said that Adri is going to perform with us still tonight? How is that possible? She doesn't have a matching uniform."
"I'm putting Adri in the front and center of each of the routines. It will look like we alternated the uniform colors on purpose and put everyone's focus on her. The same goes with the stunts, Adri will take the center position and you and Sheree will be on the sides in positions two and three."
Missy looked truly angry for the first time all night. She hadn't been mad when Cindi had been caught, hadn't been mad when Cindi was suspended from performing and practicing with us, but she was mad that I was going to be center stage for everything we did this game.
"With all due respect, Miss Winters, Adri isn't ready to be in the top spot. Just because she and her sister are having some kind of fight doesn't mean that she should be top dog around here."
"I'm not making her 'top dog'. I'm just making do as best I can given the fact that Adri isn't going to be able to wear the same uniform as everyone else."
"I think that you're punishing me for no good reason. I haven't done anything but you're bumping me out of the number one spot. When my mother hears about this she's going to convince the other members of the school board to fire you."
I half expected for Miss Winters to kick Missy off of the team then and there, but Sheree broke in before anything else could be said.
"It wasn't just Cindi who was involved in cutting up Adri's skirt. Missy was involved, she had to be."
"What do you mean, Sheree? Do you have some kind of proof that Missy helped Cindi?"
Miss Winters managed to keep her tone even. There wasn't anything in her manner that suggested just how badly she wanted Sheree to have some kind of hard evidence, but I was pretty sure everyone knew that was exactly what she was hoping for.
"No…I don't have any proof, but she wanted me away from Adri, that's the only explanation for her inviting me back to talk about our stunts for the game. I thought it was weird that she wanted to talk in the first place, but then once I got back there we didn't even talk. She and Cindi just whispered to each other for a couple of seconds and then Cindi disappeared."
Miss Winters closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and then shook her head. "That's not proof and I won't kick anyone off of the team without proof."
"But it's not fair! Missy is getting away with terrible things."
Before Sheree could say anything else Miss Winters held up her hand. "I won't kick a girl off of the team without proof, not even a girl who threatens me, but I still have full artistic control as far as who does what when it comes to our performances." She turned to me with such casualness that I knew she was putting on an act. "Adri, does what Sheree said match up with what you saw happen?"
I still felt numb inside, but nodded. That didn't seem to satisfy Miss Winters so I cleared my throat. "Yes. I mean I wasn't back there with them, but it was right after I showed Missy that I had my other uniform that she asked Sheree to come talk to her and Cindi. I remembered thinking it was odd at the time."
"I see. That isn't proof, but given everything that has happened, do you feel like you can trust Missy? Do you feel like you can work with her?"
"Honestly? No."
"What about you, Sheree?"
I'd never seen Sheree look so uncomfortable, but she shook her head. "No, she's doing terrible things. I don't trust her not to hurt Adri or me during our stunts."
I could tell that Miss Winters was still being very careful to keep the satisfaction out of her voice as she looked at Missy.
"There you have it, Missy. You've lost the trust of your fellow flyers, so it looks like we'll be going with just two flyers today until I can select and train replacements for you and Cindi."
I'd only thought that Missy was mad before. She was shaking now and her face had gone white.
"I'll kill you for this, for putting her above me!"
"You're off the team. There are some threats that I have to react to. Think very, very carefully about what you do next. I've got a dozen witnesses who just heard you and I can have a police report filed so fast your head will spin. Any action you, or your mom, take at this point is going to look petty and retaliatory."
"This isn't over."
Even as she spit the words out at Miss Winters and me, Missy was turning and stalking away from the team.
"While I'm thinking about it, you'd probably better call your parents. You won't be riding home on the bus with us, so you'll need them to come and get you."
A few of the remaining girls looked like they were having a hard time breathing, but when Miss Winters gave us all one last chance to protest nobody took the opportunity. Satisfied that everyone was going to take her seriously, Miss Winters then proceeded to give us all our new assignments for each of our standard routines and cheers.
I kept thinking that I should be feeling something, but I seemed numb from the neck down and it didn't go away by the time the JV game started. Miss Winters had us starting out slow and easy, saving our big numbers for the second game so that we had a chance to get used to being down by two girls, but I could tell that I was doing better than normal even despite the simplicity of what we were doing.
I hit every mark exactly and my form was perfect the entire time. On another day I would have been excited, proud even of having done so well, but I just couldn't seem to muster up the emotional energy to feel anything.
We started stunting a few minutes before halftime and it was everything I remembered it being, just without the emotional thrill that I'd loved so much. I could feel my body prepare to take off by dumping adrenaline into my system, gravity clawed at me as I was launched upwards and then I experienced that timeless instant where I was perfectly weightless, but it was like it was happening to someone else.
Flying in front of a live crowd at a real game for the first time ever should have added to the intensity of the experience, but it was like some emotional conduit inside of me had been shattered.
The realization that I'd been robbed of my single favorite part of cheering started thawing out my insides. Instead of numb indifference, I started to feel a hot rage that demanded some kind of retribution against Missy and Cindi.
For a split second, if they'd been there and I'd had the strength to do so, I would have ripped them limb from limb, and then I suddenly realized what that would mean. I was distracted enough that I screwed up the landing, but Jackson caught me as effortlessly as always.
It took everything I had to stay there on the sidelines for two more minutes until the halftime horn sounded, but I forced myself to finish out the last few cheers with everyone else. I was thankful that it was an unseasonably warm night as I walked over to where Miss Winters was waiting for everyone. It was hot enough that the rest of the girls stopped off at our bags so that they could grab water bottles before coming over. It meant that I made it to Miss Winters before anyone else did.
"You're looking really good out there, Adri!"
"Thank you. Can we talk for a couple minutes before you talk to everyone else?"
She shook her head. "We've only got a few minutes before the other school will be done with their routine. I'm sorry, Adri, but there just isn't time. Let's talk once the game is over. I can give you as much time as you need then."
"Please, it's important and I promise that—I'll only take a minute."
She frowned for a moment and then looked past me at the rest of the squad. "Take
a couple of minutes, girls. I'll be right back."
I followed her a few steps away from everyone else, took a deep breath and then just forced the words out.
"I'm quitting the team. I'm sorry, I know that I've made a complete mess of everything. It would have been better if I'd never joined in the first place, but I did, and now I'm just quitting right in the middle of everything which is terrible of me, but I can't cheer anymore."
Miss Winters' mouth opened and closed a couple of times. "Adri, you're a natural. You've picked everything up faster than I would have believed possible and you just keep getting better. At the rate you're improving, you might be able to get a cheerleading scholarship to college. It's a long shot because you started cheering so late, but you have all the right qualities so I think you could do it."
Tears started pooling in my eyes. It was so rarely that anyone other than my dad ever told me I was good at anything, and even he didn't have a lot to work with when it came to complimenting my talents.
"I…I really appreciate you saying that, Miss Winters, and I really am sorry, but I have to quit and sooner would be better than later."
"Can you at least tell me why?"
"I think I've been in shock ever since you suspended Cindi. I'm not saying that you did the wrong thing, I'm actually really impressed that you stuck to your guns like that, but none of that went down like I expected it to."
She smiled and patted me on the arm. "I'm not surprised that you're having a hard time processing everything. To have Cindi turn on you like that had to have been hard, but that just means that this is a terrible time to be making any kind of big decision."
"That's just the thing though. I started coming out of shock as we started the last few cheers and I realized just how much I hate Cindi and Missy. I hate them so much that it scares me. I could probably deal with hating Missy like that, but I don't want to hate my own sister that much."
Miss Winters had obviously been about to interrupt me, but my last comment shut her up faster than I would have believed possible.