She moans with pleasure and eventually falls asleep before I’ve even finished. I lean back against the headboard and watch her sleeping for a while, and my world is perfect.
Tomorrow is Christmas Day, however.
And my next job is to play Santa.
I creep out to the family room and admire the majestic tree waiting in the corner, ready to have Christmas parcels placed at its base. Zane and Tyler spent most of the day decorating this tree with silver bells and sparkling white tinsel. I’m sure with the excitement of Abbie arriving, she missed seeing it in its full glory and I know when she walks out here in the morning with sleepy eyes and crazy curls, she’s going to be speechless.
Gazing at the tree, I consider how these last few weeks have been exhausting and sentiment hits me like a freight train. Tears well up. Life is never dull, for anyone who is trying hard to make each day better – this is something I’ve learnt along the way. We’ve been dealt some harsh blows, but, with these, we’ve grown. I’ve grown.
Tomorrow is Christmas Day. Our first Christmas in our new home.
I did it.
I finally stepped up to the plate and delivered.
I crouch down and put my head in my hands. Tears start to flow and I let them out, too tired to hold them in any longer. In the darkness, only broken up by the faint glow of light streaming from the kitchen, I cry. ‘Mum? Dillan? I know you guys are here,’ I whisper. ‘I feel you…’ I continue speaking softly between silent sobs. ‘I really didn’t think I was able to be anything… but, I am – I’m a father, a husband, a son and brother… and I’m ready.’ I wipe my eyes and stand up.
God! My chest is aching. Do I thank Him – the Almighty? I’m not sure I’m ready for that just yet. I’m still not convinced I deserve absolution, and I sure as hell don’t offer it to Him.
For now, I’ll just thank Him for tonight – for Abbie and Tyler – and our family.
Time to collect the parcels from the linen cupboard – Zane’s ‘perfect’ hiding place – and put them under our tree.
Then I’m climbing into that huge, four poster bed to snuggle with a princess.
Chapter 26
‘Dad! Princess Abbie!’ Tyler cries out as he jumps onto our bed and climbs up between us. ‘Santa came! I thought he wouldn’t know where we are, but he found us!’
Abbie laughs and throws her arms around him, squeezing him in a hug. ‘Grandma Gail has his phone number, so there’s no way he’d lose us.’
I ruffle Tyler’s hair and throw my legs over the side of the bed. ‘Let’s go see what he brought you,’ I suggest.
‘Okay, I’ll race you!’ he shouts, wriggling out of Abbie’s embrace and disappearing, without a second glance.
‘Oh, gosh, he loves Christmas,’ Abbie announces with a wide smile. She rubs her eyes and pushes her curls back from her face. ‘I just need to use the bathroom before I start my Christmas Day.’
I rush around to her side of the bed and help her up onto her feet. ‘Are you okay this morning?’
‘Yeah, of course,’ she replies with a reassuring smile. ‘I’m still a little shocked after your surprise last night and my head is all over the place – but in a good way.’
I pull her into my embrace and touch her face gently. ‘Mrs. Hewitt, you are my entire world.’
She giggles. ‘You charmer!’ She pushes me away and heads for the bathroom.
I take the opportunity to join Tyler in the family room and remind him to wait for Abbie before opening any of his gifts. ‘Tyler, don’t rush into opening anything until Abbie gets out here. She’ll want to see your cheeky face when you open up your gifts,’ I say.
He’s on his knees at the base of the huge tree and my heart stops for a minute, a recollection of seeing Dillan doing exactly the same thing hits my memory, the Christmas before… oh shit! Hold it together.
I swallow hard.
‘I’m just going to make a coffee,’ I say, and Tyler glances at me and give me an impatient nod. I can’t be falling apart every time I’m reminded of Dillan, but the older he gets, the more he reminds me of my brother. I hope I’ll get used to the resemblance in time.
Taking a deep breath, I get to work on making everyone a Christmas drink. Coffee for me of course, but I’m sure Tyler and Abbie will enjoy a large iced chocolate, topped with whipped cream and crushed chocolate flakes – I can feel the heat already piercing into the house through the windows. One year, I’d like to take them to Ireland and show them a white Christmas.
‘Come on Dad! We’re ready!’ Tyler shouts from the family room, breaking through my moment of melancholy.
As I walk in with a tray holding the drinks, I stop and take in the scene before me. Tyler has figured out how to play the Christmas carol CD Jade left for us and the sweet melody of “The Little Drummer Boy” drifts around the room. Abbie is curled up on the couch in a pale pink, dressing gown; her sparkling green eyes on Tyler as he crawls around the tree, reading the names on the parcels. She’s regarding him with a pensive gaze, one I’ve seen before – when Mum watched over us boys as we ripped open our own Christmas gifts. I admire the look of a happy mother, joy, pride and comfort filling her heart, before setting the tray down and taking a seat beside her.
‘I can’t believe you did all this for us,’ she says quietly, leaning into me as I put an arm around her shoulders.
‘I had a lot of help.’
‘We have the best friends and family, don’t we?’ Her eyes are bright green; the greenest I’ve ever seen them. I know she’s tired, but the joy radiating from her is contagious – I’m on a high – a perfect, natural and healthy one.
‘We definitely have the best there is. I couldn’t have managed all this without them. Jade organised the music, the Christmas presents, the sweets for Santa,’ I gesture to the empty plate and half glass of milk. Abbie giggles and I continue. ‘She thought of everything. And Izzy and Patrick arranged the chairs, wedding arch, rose petal path and pretty much all the wedding stuff, running it all by Zane and Jed, of course.’
‘Oh my gosh, everyone given us so much help,’ she breathes out her excitement.
‘I know. Sam and your dad helped me organise the furniture for the house, and Zane and Jeb put together the whole interior design for the place – we just picked up what they’d selected from the different furniture joints – it was crazy,’ I grin and shake my head in disbelief. ‘I’m just glad it’s all over.’
She places her hands on my face and pulls me in to kiss her. ‘Thank you so very much.’
My stomach flips – no surprises there. Her soft breath caresses me as our lips meet and it’s a sublime moment.
A brief moment.
Tyler shouts at us. ‘Hey stop mushing about!’ We pull apart, both flicking our attention back to him. He’s started pulling the wrapping paper from his gifts and he’s beaming. ‘Dad, I got a remote control car from Gramps!’ he says, pulling a red jeep out of its box and twisting it one way, then the other, admiring it.
‘What did Santa leave for you?’ I ask, having no idea if Jade was able to get what I’d suggested Tyler might like.
‘Oh, this!’ he says, jumping up and pulling a Brian Lara cricket bat from under a mountain of wrapping paper.
‘Wow, that’s a big bat!’ Abbie laughs. ‘Are you sure it’s not too big for you?’
‘No way, I’m going to hit heaps of sixes with this!’ He stands up and holds it in position. ‘Oh, and this is for you!’ He drops the bat and picks up a small red box from the floor.’
‘Me?’ Abbie acts surprised.
‘Yep, from me and Dad,’ Tyler says proudly, rushing over to give it to Abbie.
She takes it from him and he throws his arms around her neck in a big hug, before pulling back and standing patiently waiting for her to open it. With her smile widening, she opens the box and gasps.
I take note of the tears welling in her eyes and say, ‘We’ll add to it every year,’ as I help her pull the charm bracelet from the box a
nd place it on her slender wrist. There’s a small charm already dangling from it and glinting in the light.
‘Baby booties,’ she says quietly, delicately touching the charm. ‘I love it.’
Our Christmas is everything I’d hoped for, not a glitch in it at all. We spend the morning around the tree, until hunger gets the better of us. I cook scrambled eggs on toast and locate a platter of fruit in the fridge, which I suspect Gail had made up for us, and we spend the day inspecting our new home.
After I drop Tyler back to his mum’s, we fill the spa bath with bubbles and spend the night doing the things adults in love do – definitely the best Christmas I’ve ever had.
Chapter 27
Boxing Day arrives and with it, some uneasiness; especially for Abbie. She hardly talks at all when we climb out of bed in the early hours of the morning, planning to see Sam off at the airport. I hope she’ll be okay.
Sam’s send-off is hard. We watch from the large windows overlooking the tarmac as his plane takes off from the runway and disappears into the bright orange glow of the sunrise. I know it’s just for a couple of weeks, but Abbie is clearly worried about him.
Gail’s the first to break the silence. ‘Come on then, there’s no point us all moping around here,’ she says, moving around the group with a kiss on the cheek for everyone and a warm smile.
Izzy holds Patrick a little tighter and Jade takes comfort in Robert’s embrace. ‘You’re right, Mum,’ Izzy agrees. ‘He’ll be home before we know it.’
‘You’re all welcome to come over for some breakfast,’ Gail adds, glancing around the group.
‘No thanks, Mum. I’m going home to put my feet up,’ Abbie says, ‘but thanks for the offer. I’m really feeling this heat at the moment.’
‘It’s been a stinking couple of days,’ Robert agrees.
‘Forecast is hot, hot, hot,’ laughs Patrick, clearly trying to amuse the girls a little. But nobody laughs – that’s normally Sam’s job.
We say quick goodbye’s and head back to our cars, Abbie still looking into the sky, seeming as if she hopes for a final glimpse of Sam’s plane.
‘I hope he remembers to put his mosquito repellent on and sanitise everything,’ she mutters as we make the drive home.
‘I think between you, your mum and your two sisters, he’s more terrified not to use it than be struck down by some virus – I know I would be scared,’ I laugh.
Abbie takes a playful whack at my arm and turns her face toward the window – staring out at the passing houses and trees. ‘I know he’ll be fine. Really.’
‘He will,’ I confirm.
‘And two weeks will go so fast, won’t it?’ she adds, as if to reassure herself that little bit more.
‘It will. We have The Expresso to keep us busy and I think with Tyler being on school holidays, we’ll have him for a few weeks.’
‘Really? Jacquie agreed to that?’ Her face lights up.
‘Yeah, she called this morning while you were in the shower. I asked if we could have him for three weeks and she was all for it. I think her and the new boyfriend are planning a trip away.’
‘Oh, that’s fantastic.’ Abbie almost squeals with delight, clapping her hands together. Her worry seems to fade away a little and I’m pleased to see it.
‘When do you want to pick him up?’
‘Tomorrow morning, if that’s okay?’
‘That’s what I thought. Okay, I’ll call Jacquie when we get home.’
Her mood has lightened and for the rest of the day, she potters around the house. As the sun starts to set, we take up positions on the alfresco, ready to watch the sunset. I’ve prepared an anti-pasta with all her favourites – a light meal I know she’ll be able to handle.
As we watch the heavy red sun disappearing behind the gazebo in its final glorious blaze, the phone rings.
‘Argh!’ I sigh. ‘That’s probably Jacquie returning my call.’
‘Well, go and grab it!’ Abbie gently urges me to stand up. ‘Then you can organise Tyler’s pick-up for tomorrow.’
‘Okay, but don’t move,’ I agree, kissing her and running to snatch up the phone.
‘Hello?’ I say, putting the handpiece to my ear.
‘Valentine, it’s Robert.’ He sounds solemn and I’m instantly on alert.
‘Oh, hi,’ I reply, wondering why the serious tone. “What’s up?”
And it is serious. Fuck! Really serious.
How the hell am I going to break this news to Abbie? Oh God, you wanker! Why now?
I step out to the alfresco, and it seems as if I’m moving in slow motion – even as my world is spinning swiftly out of control.
‘Valentine?’ Abbie says, her voice laced with concern. ‘What is it?’
I must look as if I’ve seen a ghost.
‘It’s Sam.’ My voice sounds strained, even to my own ears.
‘Oh, he called!’ She sits up with a bright smile and clasps her hands together.
Fuck, I need to get it together. I can’t be falling apart – she needs me. Man up!
I close the gap between us and sit beside her, regarding her seriously. ‘No, baby, he didn’t call. It was your dad on the phone.’
Her cheeks pale and tears well up instantly in her glassy eyes. ‘But, you said it was Sam?’ Confusion, dread and denial become clearly apparent in her expression as she frowns.
‘It is Sam,’ I say, squeezing her hands. ‘He made it safely to Timor, but the light plane he was on has disappeared.’
Her shoulders slump and she falls into my embrace. ‘Oh, God,’ she cries. ‘I knew he shouldn’t have gone! I knew something was going to happen.’
‘Let’s not assume the worst,’ I say, holding her tightly and rubbing my hand over her back. ‘Your mum and dad will be here shortly, with Jade, they’ll need us to be positive for them – and Sam’s a big boy. A lot of people walk away from light plane crashes.’
She looks up at me as though checking to see if I’m just talking crap or if I really believe what I’m saying. I must manage to look convincing, even if I’m not feeling it. ‘Okay, I’ll try,’ she replies.
Chapter 28
The minute I get Abbie settled on the couch with a bowl of ice chips, a cool flannel around her neck and a tall glass of tropical fruit juice, the front door opens and the mayhem begins.
‘Valentine? Abbie? We’re here!’ Gail shouts out with urgency, as she comes into view. ‘Oh, thank God you’re doing okay,’ she says to her daughter, racing over and inspecting her with an anxious eye. ‘Are you feeling okay?’ she asks, kissing Abbie on the forehead.
‘Yeah, Mum, I’m fine,’ Abbie insists, with a slight frown. Of course she’s fine, I’m here.
Jade falls to the floor beside her sister and folds her legs up so she’s curled up in a ball on the carpet, with her hand on her sister’s arm. She’s red-faced and teary-eyed, but she gives Abbie a warm smile, as if she’s trying to assure her things will be work out.
‘We’ve just heard from our contact over there,’ Robert says, as he shakes my hand and takes a seat. ‘There’s no need to panic just yet.’
Abbie stares hopefully at her Dad. ‘Has he been found?’
Robert sighs, his shoulders slumping. ‘Not yet, honey, but they think there’s been a sighting of three men stumbling from a plane – it’s all a bit sketchy at the moment.’
‘That’s got to be them,’ Abbie offers firmly. I take a seat beside her on the edge of the couch and watch her closely.
‘It more than likely is them, but nobody can confirm it just yet.’ Robert wipes at a small trail of sweat which is trickling from his brow with a hanky and I suddenly feel rude for not offering everyone drinks.
‘Can I get anyone a drink?’ I say, standing up and wiping my palms on my jeans in an attempt to dry the sweat from them. It’s so bloody hot. Even the air-conditioning is struggling.
‘I’d love a juice,’ says Gail.
‘Make mine a strong whisky and cola, mate – I’m parc
hed,’ Robert says.
‘Jade?’
‘No thanks, I’m fine,’ she says softly, without looking up from Abbie.
‘Sure.’ I disappear into the kitchen and it hits me. Dillan. The bomb. The screaming. The blood. I grab hold of the sink with both hands to stop myself from crumbling to the floor. Hold it together. Breathe. It’s not like that. Sam is going to be fine.
Swallowing hard I turn to open the fridge and force myself into calming down. We’ll get a call soon with good news. Izzy and Patrick will be here any minute and we’ll all laugh when it’s all over. We’ll tell Sam he’s a dick for going in the first place, but we’ll be proud of him and we’ll all laugh it off. We will.
‘We’re here!’ comes Izzy’s frantic shout from the front of the house, as I make my way into the lounge room with the cold drinks.
Patrick is following Izzy with a bag filled to the brim; it looks as if they’ve just been to the grocery store.
Izzy goes straight to Abbie and kisses her on the cheek. ‘Hi, Sis, are you okay?’ She eyes her closely, just as Gail and Jade have done before her.
‘Yeah, I’m fine. Dad just told me they’ve had some news that three men have been spotted stumbling from a crashed plane,’ she adds, and I’m pleased to hear her sounding positive.
Izzy takes the bag from Patrick and carries it to the dining table. ‘Well, there’s some great news – I’m sure that’s definitely him!’ she says, glancing around at everyone and unloading the contents of the bag onto the dining table.
I’m watching her unpack toffee apples, potato chips, milk, coffee, tea bags, sugar, bread, cheese and biscuits. She’s come prepared with a bizarre array of goodies.
She must sense me regarding her, taking a moment to glance over at me. ‘I wasn’t sure what you had, you’ve only just moved in, and we might be here a while,’ she says, shrugging her shoulders and heading off toward the kitchen. I assume she’s looking for a bowl or plate or something – or she could just need a moment of privacy – so I leave her to it and join Abbie on the couch.
Grief. It looks different on everyone.
Absolution (The Infinity Series Book 2) Page 15