Trapped & Liberated

by Bree Wolf

  For a small eternity, they stood in silence, their eyes locked, their bodies unable to move.

  And then the ship rocked, upending Alexandra’s balance and sending her falling into his arms.

  Chapter Ten − A Fork in the Road

  Instinct made him move. Made him step forward. Lift his arms. And catch her in his embrace.

  Holding her soft body against his own, Antoine stared down at her, seeing the same shock over their encounter in the wide eyes looking up at him. Her heart beat wildly in her chest, matching his own, and the way she clung to him made him wish this night would never end.

  Dimly, he remembered the countless times his father had told him that one day he would find his other half and it would be unexpected and all-consuming. It would knock him off his feet and steal the breath from his lungs.

  At the time, Antoine had not believed him.

  He did now.

  Still, all his life he had mocked his father’s romantic notions of fate and destiny. Despite the deep love he always witnessed between his parents, he had never fancied himself a man who would tie himself to a woman with his heart and soul. And yet, as he looked down at Alexandra, he could hear his father’s words echo in his mind, An invisible bond connects you, and the closer you get to one another, the stronger the pull will become. Heed it, and you will find everything you never knew you always wanted.

  Only too clearly did Antoine remember the moment they had turned away from the storm and toward the main land. Although his instincts had told him to retreat to the south, knowing that danger lurked on English territory, he had felt a strange sense of…

  He could not say. It had been a desperate need to reach this shore. As though his life depended on it. As though he had known that he would find her here.

  Now, she lay in his arms, looking up at him with wide eyes that held no fear, no regret, no doubt. Only longing, and desire, and an all-consuming wish to stay like this until the end of time. Could it be true? Could this be real?

  Whether it was or not, Antoine could not say. However, in that moment, he could not imagine ever letting her go again.

  Tightening his hold on her, he leaned down, closing the distance between them, and captured her lips with his own.

  The shock of their contact vibrated through his entire body, and he spun her around, backing her against the wall of the ship. Her arms encircled his neck, pulling her closer against him, and a soft moan escaped her lips.

  Overwhelmed by emotions he had never dared dream existed, Antoine dimly recalled that she was another man’s wife. Still, in that moment, he could not bring himself to care. After all, while her hand might be tied to another, her heart was his to claim.

  Wrenching his lips from hers, he stared down at her beautiful face. “You feel it as well, n’est-ce pas?” he whispered, rejoicing in the deep flush that came to her cheeks as she nodded her head, tears streaming down her face, her eyes wide with utter shock.

  Holding her wrapped in his arms, he rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve never retreated to an English shore,” he whispered as her fingers curled into his coat as though she feared he would vanish if she did not hold on to him. “Not once. Until today.”

  A soft smile came to her lips, and she drew in a shaky breath.

  Antoine swallowed. “Come away with me,” he whispered, afraid to bare his soul…equally afraid not to. If he allowed her to leave, he was certain he would come to regret it for the rest of his life. No, he wanted her to come away with him. However, they would have to act fast as it was dangerous for them all to linger here too long. After all, this was enemy territory.

  At his heart-felt request, her eyes closed, and a deep smile curled up the corners of her lips before her deep blue gaze found his once more and her face glowed with utter joy.

  Euphoria seized Antoine…until a dark cloud descended upon her features.

  His heart stopped as she closed her eyes and hung her head, utter resignation chasing away the joy that had been there moments before.

  Antoine swallowed, an icy cold spreading through his body as though death stood behind him, waiting to claim his soul. “Do you feel bound to your husband?” Antoine asked, afraid to hear her answer. “Do you wish to return to him?”

  Her gaze returned to his, and her eyes widened in such a way that the sight calmed his aching heart immediately. She did not love her husband. He could see it clearly in her eyes. Then what held her back? Was it her marriage vows? Was she the kind of woman who would rather spend the rest of her life in misery than break a vow that kept her from happiness?

  “No,” she whispered, her blue eyes holding his, “I do not wish to return to him.” She swallowed, a touch of shame on her face. “I cannot believe I’m saying this, but it is true. I wish I could go with you.”

  “Then why not?” he asked, his hands wrapping around hers to keep her where she was. Would he take the choice from her if she decided to return to her husband? No, he could never do that. After all, her heart was hers to give. It could not be taken against her will. And even if, it would not be right.

  Her gaze held his for a long moment, and Antoine could see that she was weighing her words. “I…I have a child,” she finally whispered. “A daughter. I could never leave her.”

  Antoine exhaled, relieved to hear that it was not devotion or loyalty to her husband that held her back. “How old is she?” he asked, smiling down at her.

  “Six,” Alexandra replied, a touch of confusion in her eyes as she watched his reaction. “Her name is Violet.”

  “Violette,” he repeated in the French pronunciation. “What a wonderful name!” Inhaling a deep breath, Antoine drew her closer into his arms, his gaze holding hers. “I would never separate a mother from her child,” he whispered, knowing how fierce a parent’s love could be. Despite their disagreements, his own parents had stood by his side his entire life. “Bring her along.”

  ***

  Dumbfounded, Alexandra stared up at the dark stranger who held her in his arms. In a matter of moments, her entire life had become unhinged. How had this happened? Had she not only an hour ago felt utter despair wash over her at the thought of her daughter’s future that so closely resembled her own miserable life? Was she truly now in the arms of a French privateer, her heart full of …did she dare call it love?−where before there had been only darkness? Was he truly asking her to leave England behind and go away with him?

  Overwhelmed, Alexandra stepped from Antoine’s embrace and staggered backwards, trying to keep her feet under her despite the swaying of the ship. “You cannot be serious,” she mumbled as much to herself as to him. “This…this cannot be. I cannot simply leave.” Lifting her gaze, she looked at him. “These things don’t happen, do they?”

  Antoine shrugged. “Not to me. At least not before today.” He took a careful step closer, his gaze never leaving hers. “Ever since I was a little boy, my father spoke to me of finding my other half.” He scoffed, “I always mocked him. I could not imagine…” His mouth closed when words failed him.

  Tears clinging to her eyes, Alexandra nodded. “I’ve always dreamed of this, of losing my heart to another and finding the one man who would be my match. But I never did. Never have I even felt only a mild echo of the deep love I see between my brother and his wife. It made me believe that I simply could not love. Not the way they did.”

  Antoine nodded. Then he slowly closed the distance between them, and his arm came around her again while his other hand lifted her chin. His eyes were dark as they searched hers. “You did not marry for love…did you?”

  Alexandra exhaled a sudden breath. “No,” she gasped, and her jaw trembled with the memory of her husband’s touch.

  Antoine’s eyes narrowed as he watched her.

  “I never cared for him,” she whispered, feeling the need to assure Antoine that what she felt for him was different, incomparable. “I never…welcomed his touch. I never enjoyed−”

  “Do you welcome mine?” he asked i
n a low growl, a possessive hint in his eyes as he looked down at her. Still, he was asking…asking for permission, and deep down, Alexandra knew that he would respect her decision even if it were to displease him. He would not force her into compliance…not even if he had the law on his side.

  In his arms, she felt safe, as safe as she had not since she had been a little girl. “I do,” she breathed, straining upward to welcome his kiss.

  The moment his lips claimed hers, Alexandra melted into his embrace, feeling her body hum with a desperate need to feel his touch. Never had she experienced anything like it. Never had she ever thought she would. Still, her mind whirled at the new sensations so unlike those elicited by her husband. His hands had always made her shrink away, had made her want to flee, to turn and escape his embrace.

  Now, she did not feel such a desire. Quite on the contrary, Alexandra wished this night would never end. And yet, there was no way around it. It would end, and then? What ought she to do? How would she feel if she allowed him to sail away without her? The mere thought sent jolts of pain through her heart so unexpected that Alexandra knew not what to do.

  Taking a step back, her eyes drifted to the windows at the back of the cabin and she tried to picture the life Antoine offered her. Instantly, her heart filled with joy, her whole body hummed with promise and she felt a deep smile curl up the corners of her mouth. In that moment, Alexandra caught sight of her own reflection in the windows across from her and a memory resurfaced.

  A memory of Lady Agnes in William’s arms as she gazed up at him with that love-struck look on her beautiful face.

  How long had Alexandra envied her sister-in-law for experiencing that kind of love? How often had she wished she could feel it as well if only for a moment? How many times had she tried to convince herself that it was not to be?

  Still, right here and now, in that very moment, Alexandra saw the same glow on her own face as she looked at her reflection that she had seen on Lady Agnes’s. Could it be true? Was this the same love her brother had found? Was there any way for her to know? To be certain?

  Sighing, Alexandra knew that there was not. Still, at the same time, she was certain that she would regret it for the rest of her life if she did not seize this opportunity to discover what there could be between her and Antoine. Were they destined to be a great love? She could not know that. Only the future could tell. But what if they did not have a future? What if she turned away from this chance? What if she did not take this risk?

  Promise me, should you ever find him, you will think only of yourself and take the same risk you so willingly have taken for me. Promise me!

  William’s words, his plea for her to seize happiness should she ever find it, echoed in her ears, and all of a sudden, Alexandra knew exactly what she wanted. Still, this was no longer only about her. What about Violet? What about her daughter?

  “Come with me,” Antoine whispered against her lips, his arms holding her tightly. “I promise I will give you the life you deserve, you and your daughter.”

  Seeing the sincerity in his eyes, Alexandra sighed with joy. Still, was it selfish of her to agree? “I want to,” she assured him, hoping he could see how much she did. “But I have to think of my daughter. Do I have the right to uproot her? To take her from her home? The life she was born to? The future she−?” Alexandra swallowed, and a cold shiver snaked down her back as she pictured exactly what her daughter’s future would look like.

  In that moment, Alexandra knew what she had to do if she wanted Violet to find love one day, to find a man like Antoine, and not be traded off to a man like Lord Dowling.

  “Yes,” she breathed, her hands clinging to his arms. “We will come with you.”

  Chapter Eleven − Now or Never

  Antoine did not miss the moment Alexandra made up her mind. A sudden fear and dread sprang to her eyes and she turned to him, seeking comfort and safety.

  “Yes,” she whispered, her voice suddenly determined. “We will come with you.”

  Although joy spread through his heart, Antoine could not ignore the nagging suspicion that she had just chosen to go with him out of a reason that was not the desire to be with him. “Are you certain?” he asked, silently kicking himself for risking to lose her. “What were you…thinking just now? What was it that made you agree?”

  Alexandra’s face tensed. “Only this morning, my husband told me that he signed a marriage contract for Violet. He plans to marry my daughter to his oldest friend to settle a debt.” A desperate fear shone in her eyes, and Antoine felt his stomach turn at the thought of an arranged marriage. Especially one like that.

  “I cannot allow this to happen,” Alexandra forced out through gritted teeth, anger darkening her voice. “He has never cared for her. She deserves better.”

  Antoine nodded solemnly. “I agree.” He inhaled a deep breath, unable to keep himself from speaking his mind. “You wish to see her safe and free to make her own choice.” Alexandra nodded, and a small smile came to her face. “And so, you choose the lesser of two evils.”

  At his words, the smile died on her lips. “The lesser of two evils?” she stammered, gawking at him in incomprehension.

  Stepping back, Antoine released her, his jaw clenched as he glared at her. “I cannot fault you for wishing to protect your daughter,” he said, his voice calm and yet deadly low. “Still, I can fault you for not speaking honestly. If she is the only reason you wish to come with me, then I need to know now. You cannot ask me to risk everything I am without knowing how−”

  Her gaze narrowed as he spoke, and her hands settled on her hips. Then she stomped toward him. “And what of your honesty?” she demanded, the blue in her eyes stormy like the sea. “Have you even thought about what it means to raise another man’s child when you offered to take us away? Did you simply agree for her to accompany us because you want me−?”

  Mesmerised by the fierceness of her spirit, Antoine found himself reaching for her. Pulling her against him, he kissed her with the same passion he saw burning in her eyes. For a moment, she tried to resist his embrace, her hands shoving against his chest, before emotions overwhelmed her and she kissed him back with equal measure. Then she abruptly turned her head and broke their kiss. Her eyes were wide as she stared back at him, her breaths coming in shuddering gasps. “How do I know I can trust you? That I am right to put my life in your hands? My heart? If I agree, I am at your mercy. How do I know you won’t betray me? Cast me aside?”

  Panting, he stared into her eyes. “Can you not see that you’re already holding my heart in your hands? Can you not see that the one hour we’ve spent together has turned my life upside down?” Grasping her chin, he lifted her head and planted a deep kiss on her lips. “Can you not see what you’re doing to me?”

  Barely able to catch her breath, she stared back at him. “Is this true? Are you offering your heart? Or is what you feel for me only a desire of the flesh?”

  A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest, “Do you truly believe I would upend my life for a few moments of passion? Why would I offer to take you away if I could simply have my way with you right now and then set you back on shore?” At his words, a slight flush came to her cheeks and her gaze momentarily drifted to the cot behind him.

  Thoroughly tempted, Antoine smiled at her, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “If you decide to come with me, there will be time for that later.” Her gaze dropped from his, and she swallowed. “Look at me,” he urged. “We need to be honest right now.”

  Once more holding his gaze, she nodded. “I agree.”

  “Good.” Not removing his hand from her chin, nor the other from around her waist, Antoine looked down at her. “Why did you agree to come with me? For yourself or for your daughter?”

  For a moment, Alexandra closed her eyes, and he could read on her face the fear of revealing what lived in her heart so openly. Still, there was no time for doubt. It was either now or never. “I felt apprehensive because of my daughter,” she finally said. “I had
to think about what was best for her. Not only for myself. I hope you can understand that.”

  Antoine nodded, remembering the utter joy that had come to her face when the question had first left his lips, and his mind calmed.

  “As much as this frightens me,” she admitted, “as much as a part of me urges me to be cautious, I’m afraid I cannot.” The ghost of a smile tugged on the corners of her mouth. “If I ignore every doubt and uncertainty I have and only think of what I want, what I desire, what I hope for, wish for,” she swallowed, stepping deeper into his embrace, “then the answer is still yes.” Her fingers curled into his shirt. “You’re not the reasonable choice, but the daring one. The reckless one. The one only fuelled by…love and longing. Years ago, I had such hopes, and then they were shattered, and I did not dare dream again.” Shaking her head, she stared at him as though he might be a phantom. “And then I saw you, and in that moment, everything changed. You felt it, too, didn’t you?”

  Antoine nodded. “It felt as though something had pierced my heart, a sudden blow that threw me off my feet. Never would I have thought this possible, and I’ve never been so relieved to find myself in the wrong.”

  “Is your heart truly mine?” she asked, a joyous curl coming to her lips.

  Antoine sighed, “I’m afraid so.”

  Gasping, she slapped his shoulder, mocking laughter spilling from her lips. “Do you truly think it wise to anger me now?”

  Smiling, Antoine slipped his hand to the back of her neck, holding her close. “Slap me as much as you like, ma chérie. It won’t change the fact that you’re mine, and I will never let you go. That is a promise.” Then he closed the small distance between them and kissed her the way a husband would kiss his wife.

  A wife he loved with all his heart and soul.

  Chapter Twelve − An Adventure Beckons