“Er—Frederick!” said Lord Emsworth. “Freddie, my boy!”
Mr. Peters fiddled dumbly with the coverlet. Colonel Mant cleared his throat. The Efficient Baxter scowled. “Er—Freddie, my dear boy, I fear we have a painful—er—task to perform.”
The words struck straight home at the Honorable Freddie’s guilty conscience. Had they, too, tracked him down? And was he now to be accused of having stolen that infernal scarab? A wave of relief swept over him as he realized that he had got rid of the thing. A decent chappie like that detective would not give him away. All he had to do was to keep his head and stick to stout denial. That was the game—stout denial.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he said defensively.
“Of course you don’t—dash it!” said Colonel Mant. “We’re coming to that. And I should like to begin by saying that, though in a sense it was my fault, I fail to see how I could have acted—”
“Horace!”
“Oh, very well! I was only trying to explain.”
Lord Emsworth adjusted his pince-nez and sought inspiration from the wall paper.
“Freddie, my boy,” he began, “we have a somewhat unpleasant—a somewhat er—disturbing—We are compelled to break it to you. We are all most pained and astounded; and—”
The Efficient Baxter spoke. It was plain he was in a bad temper.
“Miss Peters,” he snapped, “has eloped with your friend Emerson.”
Lord Emsworth breathed a sigh of relief.
“Exactly, Baxter. Precisely! You have put the thing in a nutshell. Really, my dear fellow, you are invaluable.”
All eyes searched Freddie’s face for signs of uncontrollable emotion. The deputation waited anxiously for his first grief-stricken cry.
“Eh? What?” said Freddie.
“It is quite true, Freddie, my dear boy. She went to London with him on the ten-fifty.”
“And if I had not been forcibly restrained,” said Baxter acidly, casting a vindictive look at Colonel Mant, “I could have prevented it.”
Colonel Mant cleared his throat again and put a hand to his mustache.
“I’m afraid that is true, Freddie. It was a most unfortunate misunderstanding. I’ll tell you how it happened: I chanced to be at the station bookstall when the train came in. Mr. Baxter was also in the station. The train pulled up and this young fellow Emerson got in—said good-by to us, don’t you know, and got in. Just as the train was about to start, Miss Peters exclaiming, ‘George dear, I’m going with you—, dash it,’ or some such speech—proceeded to go—hell for leather—to the door of young Emerson’s compartment. On which—”
“On which,” interrupted Baxter, “I made a spring to try and catch her. Apart from any other consideration, the train was already moving and Miss Peters ran considerable risk of injury. I had hardly moved when I felt a violent jerk at my ankle and fell to the ground. After I had recovered from the shock, which was not immediately, I found—”
“The fact is, Freddie, my boy,” the colonel went on, “I acted under a misapprehension. Nobody can be sorrier for the mistake than I; but recent events in this house had left me with the impression that Mr. Baxter here was not quite responsible for his actions—overwork or something, I imagined. I have seen it happen so often in India, don’t you know, where fellows run amuck and kick up the deuce’s own delight. I am bound to admit that I have been watching Mr. Baxter rather closely lately in the expectation that something of this very kind might happen.
“Of course I now realize my mistake; and I have apologized—apologized humbly—dash it! But at the moment I was firmly under the impression that our friend here had an attack of some kind and was about to inflict injuries on Miss Peters. If I’ve seen it happen once in India, I’ve seen it happen a dozen times.
“I recollect, in the hot weather of the year ‘99—or was it ‘93?—I think ‘93—one of my native bearers—However, I sprang forward and caught the crook of my walking stick on Mr. Baxter’s ankle and brought him down. And by the time explanations were made it was too late. The train had gone, with Miss Peters in it.”
“And a telegram has just arrived,” said Lord Emsworth, “to say that they are being married this afternoon at a registrar’s. The whole occurrence is most disturbing.”
“Bear it like a man, my boy!” urged Colonel Mant.
To all appearances Freddie was bearing it magnificently. Not a single exclamation, either of wrath or pain, had escaped his lips. One would have said the shock had stunned him or that he had not heard, for his face expressed no emotion whatever.
The fact was, the story had made very little impression on the Honorable Freddie of any sort. His relief at Ashe’s news about Joan Valentine; the stunning joy of having met in the flesh the author of the adventures of Gridley Quayle; the general feeling that all was now right with the world—these things deprived him of the ability to be greatly distressed.
And there was a distinct feeling of relief—actual relief—that now it would not be necessary for him to get married. He had liked Aline; but whenever he really thought of it the prospect of getting married rather appalled him. A chappie looked such an ass getting married! It appeared, however, that some verbal comment on the state of affairs was required of him. He searched his mind for something adequate.
“You mean to say Aline has bolted with Emerson?”
The deputation nodded pained nods. Freddie searched in his mind again. The deputation held its breath.
“Well, I’m blowed!” said Freddie. “Fancy that!”
* * *
Mr. Peters walked heavily into his room. Ashe Marson was waiting for him there. He eyed Ashe dully.
“Pack!” he said.
“Pack?”
“Pack! We’re getting out of here by the afternoon train.”
“Has anything happened?”
“My daughter has eloped with Emerson.”
“What!”
“Don’t stand there saying, ‘What!’ Pack.”
Ashe put his hand in his pocket.
“Where shall I put this?” he asked.
For a moment Mr. Peters looked without comprehension at what Ashe was holding out; then his whole demeanor altered. His eyes lit up. He uttered a howl of pure rapture:
“You got it!”
“I got it.”
“Where was it? Who took it? How did you choke it out of them? How did you find it? Who had it?”
“I don’t know whether I ought to say. I don’t want to start anything. You won’t tell anyone?”
“Tell anyone! What do you take me for? Do you think I am going about advertising this? If I can sneak out without that fellow Baxter jumping on my back I shall be satisfied. You can take it from me that there won’t be any sensational exposures if I can help it. Who had it?”
“Young Threepwood.”
“Threepwood? Why did he want it?”
“He needed money and he was going to raise it on—”
Mr. Peters exploded.
“And I have been kicking because Aline can’t marry him and has gone off with a regular fellow like young Emerson! He’s a good boy—young Emerson. I knew his folks. He’ll make a name for himself one of these days. He’s got get-up in him. And I have been waiting to shoot him because he has taken Aline away from that goggle-eyed chump up in bed there!
“Why, if she had married Threepwood I should have had grandchildren who would have sneaked my watch while I was dancing them on my knee! There is a taint of some sort in the whole family. Father sneaks my Cheops and sonny sneaks it from father. What a gang! And the best blood in England! If that’s England’s idea of good blood give me Hoboken! This settles it. I was a chump ever to come to a country like this. Property isn’t safe here. I’m going back to America on the next boat.
“Where’s my check book? I’m going to write you that check right away. You’ve earned it. Listen, young man; I don’t know what your ideas are, but if you aren’t chained to this country I’ll make it worth your
while to stay on with me. They say no one’s indispensable, but you come mighty near it. If I had you at my elbow for a few years I’d get right back into shape. I’m feeling better now than I have felt in years—and you’ve only just started in on me.
“How about it? You can call yourself what you like—secretary or trainer, or whatever suits you best. What you will be is the fellow who makes me take exercise and stop smoking cigars, and generally looks after me. How do you feel about it?”
It was a proposition that appealed both to Ashe’s commercial and to his missionary instincts. His only regret had been that, the scarab recovered, he and Mr. Peters would now, he supposed, part company. He had not liked the idea of sending the millionaire back to the world a half-cured man. Already he had begun to look on him in the light of a piece of creative work to which he had just set his hand.
But the thought of Joan gave him pause. If this meant separation from Joan it was not to be considered.
“Let me think it over,” he said.
“Well, think quick!” said Mr. Peters.
* * *
It has been said by those who have been through fires, earthquakes and shipwrecks that in such times of stress the social barriers are temporarily broken down, and the spectacle may be seen of persons of the highest social standing speaking quite freely to persons who are not in society at all; and of quite nice people addressing others to whom they have never been introduced. The news of Aline Peters’ elopement with George Emerson, carried beyond the green-baize door by Slingsby, the chauffeur, produced very much the same state of affairs in the servants’ quarters at Blandings Castle.
It was not only that Slingsby was permitted to penetrate into the housekeeper’s room and tell his story to his social superiors there, though that was an absolutely unprecedented occurrence; what was really extraordinary was that mere menials discussed the affair with the personal ladies and gentlemen of the castle guests, and were allowed to do so uncrushed. James, the footman—that pushing individual—actually shoved his way into the room, and was heard by witnesses to remark to no less a person than Mr. Beach that it was a bit thick.
And it is on record that his fellow footman, Alfred, meeting the groom of the chambers in the passage outside, positively prodded him in the lower ribs, winked, and said: “What a day we’re having!” One has to go back to the worst excesses of the French Revolution to parallel these outrages. It was held by Mr. Beach and Mrs. Twemlow afterward that the social fabric of the castle never fully recovered from this upheaval. It may be they took an extreme view of the matter, but it cannot be denied that it wrought changes. The rise of Slingsby is a case in point. Until this affair took place the chauffeur’s standing had never been satisfactorily settled. Mr. Beach and Mrs. Twemlow led the party which considered that he was merely a species of coachman; but there was a smaller group which, dazzled by Slingsby’s personality, openly declared it was not right that he should take his meals in the servants’ hall with such admitted plebeians as the odd man and the steward’s-room footman.
The Aline-George elopement settled the point once and for all. Slingsby had carried George’s bag to the train. Slingsby had been standing a few yards from the spot where Aline began her dash for the carriage door. Slingsby was able to exhibit the actual half sovereign with which George had tipped him only five minutes before the great event. To send such a public man back to the servants’ hall was impossible. By unspoken consent the chauffeur dined that night in the steward’s room, from which he was never dislodged.
Mr. Judson alone stood apart from the throng that clustered about the chauffeur. He was suffering the bitterness of the supplanted. A brief while before and he had been the central figure, with his story of the letter he had found in the Honorable Freddie’s coat pocket. Now the importance of his story had been engulfed in that of this later and greater sensation, Mr. Judson was learning, for the first time, on what unstable foundations popularity stands.
Joan was nowhere to be seen. In none of the spots where she might have been expected to be at such a time was she to be found. Ashe had almost given up the search when, going to the back door and looking out as a last chance, he perceived her walking slowly on the gravel drive.
She greeted Ashe with a smile, but something was plainly troubling her. She did not speak for a moment and they walked side by side.
“What is it?” said Ashe at length. “What is the matter?”
She looked at him gravely.
“Gloom,” she said. “Despondency, Mr. Marson—A sort of flat feeling. Don’t you hate things happening?”
“I don’t quite understand.”
“Well, this affair of Aline, for instance. It’s so big it makes one feel as though the whole world had altered. I should like nothing to happen ever, and life just to jog peacefully along. That’s not the gospel I preached to you in Arundell Street, is it! I thought I was an advanced apostle of action; but I seem to have changed. I’m afraid I shall never be able to make clear what I do mean. I only know I feel as though I have suddenly grown old. These things are such milestones. Already I am beginning to look on the time before Aline behaved so sensationally as terribly remote. To-morrow it will be worse, and the day after that worse still. I can see that you don’t in the least understand what I mean.”
“Yes; I do—or I think I do. What it comes to, in a few words, is that somebody you were fond of has gone out of your life. Is that it?”
Joan nodded.
“Yes—at least, that is partly it. I didn’t really know Aline particularly well, beyond having been at school with her, but you’re right. It’s not so much what has happened as what it represents that matters. This elopement has marked the end of a phase of my life. I think I have it now. My life has been such a series of jerks. I dash along—then something happens which stops that bit of my life with a jerk; and then I have to start over again—a new bit. I think I’m getting tired of jerks. I want something stodgy and continuous.
“I’m like one of the old bus horses that could go on forever if people got off without making them stop. It’s the having to get the bus moving again that wears one out. This little section of my life since we came here is over, and it is finished for good. I’ve got to start the bus going again on a new road and with a new set of passengers. I wonder whether the old horses used to be sorry when they dropped one lot of passengers and took on a lot of strangers?”
A sudden dryness invaded Ashe’s throat. He tried to speak, but found no words. Joan went on:
“Do you ever get moods when life seems absolutely meaningless? It’s like a badly-constructed story, with all sorts of characters moving in and out who have nothing to do with the plot. And when somebody comes along that you think really has something to do with the plot, he suddenly drops out. After a while you begin to wonder what the story is about, and you feel that it’s about nothing—just a jumble.”
“There is one thing,” said Ashe, “that knits it together.”
“What is that?”
“The love interest.”
Their eyes met and suddenly there descended on Ashe confidence. He felt cool and alert, sure of himself, as in the old days he had felt when he ran races and, the nerve-racking hours of waiting past, he listened for the starter’s gun. Subconsciously he was aware he had always been a little afraid of Joan, and that now he was no longer afraid.
“Joan, will you marry me?”
Her eyes wandered from his face. He waited.
“I wonder!” she said softly. “You think that is the solution?”
“Yes.”
“How can you tell?” she broke out. “We scarcely know each other. I shan’t always be in this mood. I may get restless again. I may find it is the jerks that I really like.”
“You won’t!”
“You’re very confident.”
“I am absolutely confident.”
“‘She travels fastest who travels alone,’” misquoted Joan.
“What is the good,” s
aid Ashe, “of traveling fast if you’re going round in a circle? I know how you feel. I’ve felt the same myself. You are an individualist. You think there is something tremendous just round the corner and that you can get it if you try hard enough. There isn’t—or if there is it isn’t worth getting. Life is nothing but a mutual aid association. I am going to help old Peters—you are going to help me—I am going to help you.”
“Help me to do what?”
“Make life coherent instead of a jumble.”
“Mr. Marson—”
“Don’t call me Mr. Marson.”
“Ashe, you don’t know what you are doing. You don’t know me. I’ve been knocking about the world for five years and I’m hard—hard right through. I should make you wretched.”
“You are not in the least hard—and you know it. Listen to me, Joan. Where’s your sense of fairness? You crash into my life, turn it upside down, dig me out of my quiet groove, revolutionize my whole existence; and now you propose to drop me and pay no further attention to me. Is it fair?”
“But I don’t. We shall always be the best of friends.”
“We shall—but we will get married first.”
“You are determined?”
“I am!”
Joan laughed happily.
“How perfectly splendid! I was terrified lest I might have made you change your mind. I had to say all I did to preserve my self-respect after proposing to you. Yes; I did. How strange it is that men never seem to understand a woman, however plainly she talks! You don’t think I was really worrying because I had lost Aline, do you? I thought I was going to lose you, and it made me miserable. You couldn’t expect me to say it in so many words; but I thought—I was hoping—you guessed. I practically said it. Ashe! What are you doing?”
Ashe paused for a moment to reply.
“I am kissing you,” he said.
“But you mustn’t! There’s a scullery maid or somebody looking through the kitchen window. She will see us.”
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