6. Big comic sequence with hero trying to steal necklace from brother. (How end?)
Try this. It would be much more plausible if heroine goes to ‘brother’ and says hero is leaving and she will have no time to get reconciled, and brother suggests the stealing of necklace and says he will do it.
Good X)
Then, instead of refusing to return necklace, ‘brother’ has accident and loses his memory and so we get a situation as in Money In The Bank with brother— uncle?— hero & heroine combining to try to find necklace (This makes ‘brother’ not crooked, a great improvement).
Good)
Could wife who owns necklace suspect her husband of having stolen it?
*
Novel A
Hero is an artist.
Start with some comic scene with heroine.
She goes with him to his studio.
It is humble and his pictures bad. She thinks he is poor.
Ld E wants pig’s portrait. She recommends hero.
Then all the incidents which end in them getting engaged.
*
She says it will be like Bohemian, artistic poverty.
He reveals that he has had a comic strip running in America for years. It has now reached stage where other artists do the drawing.
Good)
Try this. Have a Character (whom Ld E dislikes?) who turns out to be a famous animal painter who is eager to paint Empress.
End. Hero, engaged to heroine, goes to London to buy ring. He meets the man who was engaged to heroine, who has been thinking it over and decided to marry her. Make him very patronizing about her, says he has no doubt she will resume engagement. After all, who is she? (Who is she? Parson’s daughter? or niece of [?] woman?) . Hero says he can see only one objection, that she is going to marry him.
Good)
What Characters have I got?
1. Hero
2. Heroine
3. Heroine’s fiancé.
4. Lord Emsworth
Only four!
Problems
1. What does fiancé quarrel with heroine about?
Ch 1. Hero and heroine meet. They have known each other as kids. ‘What are you doing now?’ — I’m secty to Lady X at Blandings.
*
Novel A
Try this. Make owner of jewel an important character. (Query. Old flame of Ld E?). Ld E reluctantly in danger of marrying her. Φ
She finally gets engaged to man who has been staying at ‘fire’ house, and he turns not to be big animal painter who wants to paint Empress.
This will give me six characters.
Good)
Problem. Who is heroine? Φ
Φ Try this. Ld E’s sister Dora is at Blandings. She insists on ‘fire’ lot being taken in and wants Ld E to marry ‘jewel’ woman.
Heroine is her secretary.
So now I have seven characters.
Good)
Can I make the man who gets engd to jewel woman the cabinet minister with detective dogging him. He confides his problem to Ld E, who does something (like giving tec Mickey Finn which puts him out of action. He goes off to propose and comes back and tells Ld E he is engaged.
(If I was this, I either scrap idea of big painter and pig or else have him tell Ld E he knows painter who wants to paint pig.
Good)
To ask somebody. What does an artist of a successful comic strip get, and how much when he hands over the strip to other hack artists?
*
NOVEL A
Try it as a Jeeves story.
1. Bertie is staying at Blandings. A niece of Lord Emsworth’s is there, and she and Bertie are great pals.
Note: Bertie cd propose to her, using that idea of trying to persuade girl by saying she wd have a husband she cd tell stories about. And she tells him she is engaged to a man he knows who lives in the neighbourhood.
2. Girl comes to him in tears and says she has quarrelled with man and engt broken.
3. Man’s house has fire. The inhabitants are asked to stay at Blandings. Make this plausible. Ld E wd object strongly, so heroine’s mother ought to be his sister Dora from Pigs Have Wings, and she over-rules him. So hero comes to Blandings.
4. Hero has to leave. Then jewel is stolen. (Whose?)
5. Heroine comes to Bertie — says she stole jewel to keep hero from leaving house. Lands B with it.
Good so far but no part yet for Jeeves or Ld E and pig.
I don’t believe it’s a Jeeves story. I think man heroine loves goes to London, as residents aren’t compelled to stay, and run of story is heroine falling for chap she gives jewel to: (This wd make the first man a rotter of some kind.
Work on this)
Heroine steals her mother’s jewel. If caught she will get sent to her Grandmother in Bexhill.
X)
Title: Lord Emsworth Entertains.
*
Novel A
If a Blandings story, Bertie goes out at night with Ld E to see pig, Φ who has not been well.
Φ Ld E wants him to
see pig by moonlight.
They come back, Ld E in lead. He absent mindedly shuts front door, leaving B locked out.
Good)
B. climbs in through a window and is seen by detective and becomes a suspect (OR climbs in and meets heroine Φ and proposes. She says she is engaged to neighbour.
Φ ‘Will you marry me. Not immediately of course. When we have had time to assemble a clergyman or two.)
Try this. Stiffy is at Blandings. Also heroine. Stiffy wants to steal pig ù it has become such an obsession with Ld E. (get some stronger motive) . Heroine wants to get hero to stay on.
I don’t know if the man afraid of being knighted wd come into Novel A, but a good solution wd be if some acquaintance of him and his wife’s got made a Lord, and she tells him on no account to accept a knighthood.
XX)
Sequence
1. Fire. Man comes to Blandings.
2. He & heroine have row.
3. Girl steals jewels, gives them to hero to keep.
4. Hero gives them to Ld E.
5. Man leaves. The company haven’t been told to stay.
6. Hero asks Ld E for the package he gave him. Ld E either has forgotten and denies having any package or has lost his memory.
7. Hero searches Ld E’s study. Is he caught? By Bertie. Φ
Φ If they both search study, something cd happen eg clap of thunder, which causes heroine to fall into hero’s arms. (c.f. Uneasy Money).
This might be good)
*
For six pages of notes (undated, so they may have been made on six separate days, before the pages dated December 20th and December 30th) Wodehouse wondered who this man, ‘X’ or Kevin, was who was going, by sudden domination, to earn his return to Lady Florence’s respect and love. Husband? Divorced husband? Fiancé? And/or butler Beach’s nephew? we have transcribed four of these pages.
*
Husband
Clipped moustache. V. military. Appearance misleading, as he was a v. wild man. Very gib and strong.
Vegetarian. F. disapproved. Ridiculous fad! (He has become a vegn).
Gally says I was a vegn for a while many years ago because I cd not afford not to be, meat costing so much. (My investments on the turf
Kevin: Dt you think there is any hope of a reconciliation?
Gally: It depends what the row was about. If you have been preferring blondes.
K: Good heavens, no.
G: Then what was the trouble?
K: I became converted to vegetarianism and F called it a ridiculous fad.
G: You didn’t try to convert her to veg.
K: Certainly not.
G tells K to hide in F’s suite and jump out at her. Drink G. Ovens beer.
*
Florence’s husband
He is Beach’s nephew, an actor, or playwright? (need he be B’s nephew?)
Gally meets him in Ch. 2. F. has chucked him, if engaged or i
nsisted on a divorce if married, & he has gone to B’s pantry for consolation & port. (Gally does not know his father) . (Husband is leaving, chucked out)
Problem, why have—call him ‘husband’—& F split? Φ And how does their reconciliation affect Jeff? Φ It looks as if they aren’t married. Qy. Shall he have already alienated F? by getting her to put up money to star him if an actor or finance his play, if playwright.
His appearance (1) in Ch2 (2) At Emsworth Arms after Piper has left & G is alone. (2) In big scene. (In 2 G. has advised him to stoke up on G. Ovens beer)
Φ They are only engaged. Can they have split ù she told him to go and make Ld E give up idea of pig in portrait gallery? In big scene he reveals that he has got Ld E to agree to have the pig in study. Φ
Φ I can see good comedy with him reasoning with Ld E, — which wd make F. melt to him.
In Ems Arms scene ‘husband’ tells G all abt his quarrel with F.
In G-F F merely says he was weak.
X)
G and X at Ems Arms. G advises X to stoke up on G’s port & hide.
Big Scene.
Start with Ld E and G entering.
Row. Don’t have F saying she will leave. Work up to where F. says something abt pig being in portrait gallery.
X comes out of cupboard.
‘I wd like to say a few words on that subject.’
X reasons with Lord E.
Ld E convinced. Goes off to break it to Jeff that his portrait won’t be in gallery. He will be disappointed
X and F reconciled.
X says Let’s get married and go to USA. Put on my play there.
F says you won’t mind V being with us. Can’t leave her here with Jeff.
X and F go off, leaving Gally.
Gally muses. Plug snag of Jeff and V being parted.
Enter Piper, wanting smelling salts for Brenda. G. tells what has hapd. G. says abt Ld E furious. Use meek man stuff
Piper complains of Murchison G. offers to get M out of way. Meet me at my hammock if all goes well. G & Murch. G to hammock + Piper. He is engaged. G. gets commission for portrait from P.
G. goes off to tell Jeff the news
Qy scene J, V & G. Tells them to elope, they say no money, G says abt commission, & he is going to see Ld E for more.
*
Ch 16
Try this. 1. B arrives. B & F. B says she met ‘husband’ on train. Says No. Begs F to take him back. F says too weak.
No. B is a hard character.
She says Kevin is weak.
(B says he is at E. Arms. B to her room.
2. Cut to Gally, G & Ld E. G. to Ems Arms. Φ G and husband. G advises him to stoke up with G. Ovens ale & hide in F’s suite and come out and dominate F.
2 isn’t right)
3. B comes to F, report loss of jewel.
4. V. tells G she stole jewel.
(THIS IS RIGHT
Φ G goes to Ems Arms ù after his scene with Ld E he goes to hammock and Beach tells him husband rang up fr Ems Arms wanting to speak to Gally.
This makes it all right.)
In 1 F tells B she has to be dominated by her man
2. Qy. Shall I cut architect idea and have Gally tell Piper to have Jeff paint his portrait as a present to Diana? Says J is doing excellent job with Empress Good)
Can I work it so that everything happens in one day?
In Gally’s first scene with Ld E, make G’s reason for staying in London because he had to console his old pal X. who is F’s husband.
V. good X)
For title. Something about women being hard to handle.
Qy. Women are Peculiar.
X)
plate full
grateful
*
In the Preface to his 1929 Blandings novel Summer Lightning Wodehouse wrote:
A certain critic — for such men, I regret to say, do exist — made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained ‘all the old Wodehouse characters under different names’. He has probably now been eaten by bears, like the children who made a mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have out-generalled the man this time by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy …
Seven Blandings novels (eight with Sunset at Blandings) and nine short stories came after Summer Lightning. One of the difficulties in multi-volumed saga-writing is to know how much introductory explanation you’ve got to give to an old character in a new novel. When the eighth Blandings novel hits the bookstalls, for how many of its readers will it be their first visit to the castle? And how do you explain Lord Emsworth to these first-time readers without boring your old faithfuls?
Wodehouse dusted away this difficulty in amusing short pieces in the first chapters of several novels. But it remained a difficulty. And, in the later Blandings novels especially, I think that the author found this difficulty getting compounded with others. He came to know his characters so well that he could repeat an introduction that had served him as a repeat in an earlier novel. In the case of Sunset at Blandings I am thinking, in passing, of the introduction of Galahad (page 18). This would probably have been re-written, with fresh phrases and rhythms, in a final version, but as it stands it is almost a transcript of the paragraph presenting Gally in Galahad at Blandings, which was itself almost a transcript of its equivalent in Full Moon.
And Wodehouse knew the Blandings habitat so well by 1974 that he could move his characters like chessmen to and from positions that you feel are almost like chalk-marks on the floor of a stage. In this novel the main moves are to and from the Emsworth Arms, the hammock, Beach’s pantry, the croquet lawn, the pig-sty and one or two key bedrooms (always one to be searched for the missing jewel, pig or memoir). In the page of notes dated December 30th 1974 (page 145) Wodehouse wrote ‘G. goes to Ems Arms because he has to be alone, to think, which rules out Beach’s pantry’. You’d suppose that Gally could have found somewhere in the castle to be alone other than in the pantry — in his own bedroom? practising cannons in the billiard room? having a bath?—without needing to walk three miles to Market Blandings. By the time that this novel would have received its final polish, there would have been a better reason for Gally’s move. But at the early note stage it is his need to get away somewhere to think that leads Gally’s feet across those miles to the pub.
There is a last difficulty. Wodehouse in his nineties, and, indeed, in his seventies and eighties, was writing short, and sadly conscious that he was writing short. He liked his plots to be as complicated as ever, and he wanted to move his characters in the same mazy notions. But they tended, as he got older, to get from A to B in about a quarter of the number of words that he had so easily given them, straight out of the typewriter, in the three golden decades between 1925 and 1955. In those days, when the scenario was right, the stuff came bubbling out of his mind and pouring into his typewriter. Bertie Wooster would cadge a lunch or submit to some blackmail from his Aunt Dahlia; Lord Emsworth would move from drawing room to pig-sty. And each scene, dialogue or narrative, would be made in a dance of prose well spotted with ‘nifties’ . At the end of a day he was 2,500 words, good words, to the good. Cutting them down ‘raking out the clinker’ was a phrase of Kipling’s that appealed to Wodehouse, and polishing them to a near-final 1,500 next morning in revision was a pleasurable chore logodaedaly following logorrhea. He met the annual deadline for a novel for the Christmas trade easily, with a stint in Hollywood, work on a couple of plays, and a dozen stories making an average year’s output.
In his old age Wodehouse had to start in handwriting: notes, sentences and paragraphs. He couldn’t get it going on the machine. And when he totted up the day’s score, it might be 500 words, a fifth of what he could do in his floruit period. The verbal flourishes and pirouettes just weren’t there. They had to be cobbled in later. It was less fun fleshin
g it out than cutting it down. But he did it. He remained the great provider, with books to size, seamless and without padding. If the going had remained good Sunset at Blandings might, under another title, have been ready for Christmas 1976.
*
Well, the revels at Blandings Castle are now ended. But its cloud-capped towers shall not dissolve. And Wodehouse’s old brain stayed untroubled to the end. I have not researched this, but my guess is that published novels written by English authors aged ninety-three can be counted on the thumbs of one hand. And if there have been more than that, I would expect to find them tired, petulant, gloomy and grey, showing their author’s age; certainly not funny, fresh, young in heart and full of hammocks, sunshine and four pairs of lovers headed for altars in the last pages.
Wodehouse, bless his old heart, went to his honoured grave without issuing a funeral note or a solemn message to anyone, with a farce novel warm in his typewriter. He had earned laurels enough since the 192 OS, and, if he had worn them ever, it would have been on the side of his head. He had never rested on them. He went on being frivolous to the last. He had always been very serious about his work of being funny.
THE CASTLE
AND ITS SURROUNDINGS
WODEHOUSE built Blandings Castle from his typewriter and from far away. As a young, struggling, English author in New York, he had been writing, primarily for the American market, light romantic stories set in America. Something Fresh (or Something New, as it was called in America) justified its name; it was largely farce and it was set in England.
Blanding Castle Omnibus Page 340