by Devney Perry
“What did he do with it? Drugs?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Maybe. I know he gambled because one night this guy showed up and broke down the front door. He had a gun and told Craig that if he didn’t pay his gambling debt, he was dead.”
Part of me still wished it had ended that night. That Craig had had a roll of cash in his pocket and that guy had fired the gun.
“He used to throw parties while Aria and I hid out in our room. We couldn’t even lock the door because it was broken. And I think . . .” I took in a deep breath, bracing myself for the realization it had taken me a while to understand. “I think there was a reason Mom didn’t let us see Craig. That she didn’t talk about him.”
Karson’s spine stiffened. “What?”
“He was a jerk and didn’t give a shit about us most of the time. But since there was food and Aria and I could take care of ourselves, it didn’t matter. Then it got creepy. We turned fourteen and got, um . . . boobs.” I grimaced, not wanting to say that word to Karson. “He stared at us. A lot. He’d touch us too much.”
A chill crept over my skin. A sour taste spread across my mouth, so I chased it down with another gulp of beer.
“Eventually it was so disgusting that we started packing. We knew Londyn had run away. Why not us too?”
“She was here then, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah. We were trying to save up as much as we could first, not sure what kind of jobs we’d be able to get since we were only fifteen. But then he came after Aria.”
The tent went eerily still. Karson sat like a rock but the fury pulsing off his body was like a heat wave.
“He didn’t, like . . .” Rape. I couldn’t say that word either. “He touched her. He ripped her shirt. He got her pants open. I didn’t even know it was happening. I was in the bathroom but then I heard her scream and by the time I came running out, she’d already fought her way free.”
I closed my eyes and heard the echo of her scream. It haunted me. I expected it always would.
“I’ll fucking kill him.” Karson moved so fast, I blinked and he was out the tent’s door.
“No!” I scrambled to my feet, running to catch up. “Karson, stop.”
“He’s dead.”
“Karson.” I caught up to him by the small gate, grabbing his elbow with both of my hands. “Don’t. If you go there, what are you going to do?”
“Kill him.”
“And then who will be here with us?” I asked gently. Karson would go kill Craig. He had that sort of rage inside of him.
His body tensed but he stopped fighting my grip.
“It was a long time ago,” I said.
“Doesn’t make it fucking right.”
I sighed. “I know. But if you go there and do something reckless, he wins. Please, please don’t.”
He seethed for a full minute before he backed away from the fence. Then he faced me, planting his hands on his hips. “Did he touch you too?”
“No. We ran and shut ourselves in the bedroom. He pounded on the door for hours, but we held him off.” Aria and I had braced our backs against the door and our feet against a bed, then pushed with all our might. By the time the pounding and Craig’s bellowing had stopped, my legs had lost all their strength. Well, nearly all.
Never in my life had I wished so hard for my parents. I’d silently begged Mom and Dad to appear, for us to wake up from the nightmare and be home in our beds with them sleeping down the hallway.
I wished for them a lot, during the hard days. Aria seemed so angry at them sometimes. She never said it, but I could tell she was mad at them for leaving us—for leaving us vulnerable to a man like Craig.
She had a right to be angry, and there were times when I felt that too. But mostly . . . I just missed Mom’s smile and gentle voice. I missed Dad’s loud laugh and how he’d scoop us into his arms every evening when he’d come home from work.
I wished for them even though I knew that wish wouldn’t come true.
“Then what?” Karson asked.
“Craig gave up eventually. And when he did, we climbed out the window before dawn with our backpacks and supplies, then came here.”
“Clara.” The pain on his handsome face broke my heart.
“I’m okay, Karson.”
Without warning, he pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me tight. “I fucking hate him.”
“Me too.” I dragged in a long breath of his shirt. He smelled of soap and earth and Karson. My Karson. My arms snaked around his waist, and I hugged him. A real hug, with his cheek resting on my hair.
Until he loosened his hold and tipped my chin up to his face. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I shouldn’t have brought it up. We should have just played cards and had fun.”
“We can still do that. If you want.” I hooked a thumb toward the tent. “Your beer is growing on me.”
“Only you could make me smile right now.” He chuckled and put an arm around my shoulders, then he steered me for the tent.
We played gin and pretended we weren’t living in a junkyard. We drank beers like other teenaged kids did to break the rules and push the boundaries.
“My lips are numb.” I dabbed my lower lip, flicking it with my index finger.
Karson laughed. “I don’t feel anything yet.”
“Really?” Was I slurring? “I feel . . . good. Aria is going to be mad that we left her out.”
“She can have the rest of mine.” He shrugged and surged to his feet. But he’d forgotten that he couldn’t stand in the center of the tent and he wacked his head on the roof. “Ow.”
I burst out laughing. “I thought you weren’t feeling anything.”
“I guess I am now.” He swayed on his feet. While I’d only had a beer and a half, Karson had nearly gone through the other four.
“She’s probably asleep.” I got to my feet, extending my arms like an airplane to find my balance. When one of my hands landed on Karson’s hot skin, I clung to his forearm, not shy about touching him. Not tonight.
What did they call alcohol? Liquid courage? I got that reference now.
My smile pinched my cheeks as I tugged Karson out of the tent. The air outside was still warm, even as the sun dipped below the horizon. The stars were just beginning to show in the royal blue sky.
“Want to watch for shooting stars?” I asked, walking toward the Cadillac. “We can make a game out of it. First one to three wins.”
“What about Aria?”
No light was coming from inside the truck. She’d always been an early riser and tended to go to bed before dark. That or she was hunkered under a blanket, consuming her book by flashlight. “She’s probably asleep.”
“’Kay. Stargazing it is.” Karson climbed onto the Cadillac’s wide hood, leaning so his back was against the windshield. Then he raised his arms and placed them beneath his head.
I scrambled to his side, settling against the metal. My jeans and shirt were going to be filthy, but in my happily beer-buzzed state, I didn’t care. These were short-term clothes anyway.
“I can’t believe you suck so much at gin and poker.” I barely got the sentence out before I broke into a fit of giggles.
“You should be saying thank you.”
“For what?”
“For letting you win.”
I scoffed. “You did not let me win.”
He stayed quiet, his gaze on the sky.
“Did you let me win?”
Still, no response.
I shifted, pushing up on an arm to look down at him. “Karson.”
“Clara.”
“Did you let me win?”
He looked over and winked. “You’ll never know.”
“Jerk!” I poked him in the side, then lay down again, my smile wider now than it had been all night.
He chuckled. If that was what I could do for him, make him laugh, then I was calling tonight a success. And maybe I needed a laugh too.
I was lighter, having told him my story. The fear that came with it had eased. Maybe I should have told him a long time ago.
“I know it’s not ideal, but I’m going to miss these starry nights,” Karson said.
“Me too.”
The junkyard was far enough from the center of town that the glow from the city’s lights didn’t completely obscure the night sky. The stars would come out and on clear nights like this, they were little blips of hope, twinkles of joy that promised life wouldn’t always be this hard. They were there, watching over us. Maybe the stars were the lost souls of the ones we’d loved.
Maybe two of those stars were for my parents.
I hoped at this very moment, with me lying beside the boy I really liked, Dad wasn’t watching.
“I’m not going to miss the dirt,” he said.
“Same. And I’m not going to miss the tight spaces. Sleeping in an oversized coffin. Someday, I want a house with lots of windows. So that even when I’m inside, it feels open and airy.”
“I just want four walls. Four real walls. A fridge. A microwave.”
I snuck a glance at Karson’s profile. It was perfection. His nose was straight. His jaw strong and dusted with stubble. His lips soft.
“I’m going to miss you.” The words came out before I could stop them.
When he faced me, his hazel eyes had that captivating edge again. The same one he’d given me the day of the stoplight. “I’m going to miss you too.”
My breath caught in my throat.
“Clara . . .”
“Yeah?”
Karson didn’t answer. He turned to the sky and my heart sank. I was imagining this. It had to be the beer. It had to be—
I didn’t get to finish that thought. Because one moment, my eyes were glued to the darkening night sky.
The next, Karson was there.
And his lips came crashing down on mine.
Chapter Six
Clara
The rattle of metal on metal woke me from sleep.
I blinked, wincing at the ache pounding in my temples. God, it was hot. Why was it so hot?
A weight rested on my side, and behind me, there was a furnace. A hard, strong furnace.
No, a body.
I gasped and sat up, scrambling out of Karson’s hold. Tent. We were in the tent. We were in his . . . bed.
He stirred, cracking open his eyes. Then he stretched an arm over his head and the movement caused his shirt to ride up, revealing a peek at those washboard abs. “Morning.”
“Morning.” I gulped and looked down at myself. Still clothed. Then last night came rushing back.
The Cadillac. The stars. The beers.
The kiss.
We’d come back to the tent after Karson had kissed me.
Oh my God. Karson had kissed me. A lot. He’d kissed me a lot, a lot.
My fingertips drifted to my swollen lips. Holy. Shit.
Karson Avery had kissed me. I held back a squeal.
The shock on my face must have woken Karson up completely because he sat up, his eyes on alert. “Clara.”
“You kissed me.”
He nodded. “That’s all that happened.”
That’s all? It was a kiss. A freaking kiss. Something I’d wanted for months and months and months. “I remember.”
“Are you—”
“Good. Great! I’m great. Except I have a headache.” Though I couldn’t tell if the spinning was because I was experiencing my first hangover or because of the kiss.
“Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I do too.”
What did we do now? There was no way I’d be kissing him again until I brushed my teeth. My mouth was dry and tasted . . . blech. Beer breath was awful. Though I didn’t have a mirror, my hair was most certainly a mess.
Aria was going to take one look at me and . . . know. Oh my God. My stomach pitched. She was going to know. There was no way I’d be able to hide my puffy lips and this perma-grin from my sister. My secret crush was about to be the talk of the junkyard.
My head throbbed as I forced myself to unsteady feet. “I’d better go.”
“Clara, wait.”
I didn’t stop moving. “Thanks for the, um . . . see ya.”
Leaving him in the tent, I hurried outside and into the bright morning sun. I winced as my temples pounded but dragged in some air and put one foot in front of the other. When I passed the Cadillac, I kept my gaze on the path, refusing to let myself look at the hood.
The hood where Karson had kissed me.
What did this mean? This was a good thing, right? Karson. Avery. Kissed. Me.
Except at the moment, I kind of wanted to hurl. Pressing a hand to my stomach, I hustled to the truck, hopped in and gathered my towel and shower supplies.
“Morning.” Aria was on her bed with the novel she’d had last night.
“Hi. Sorry. I was in the tent. I, uh, fell asleep.”
She shrugged. “I figured. I crashed early. This book wasn’t good enough to stay up late with.”
I ducked my chin, hoping to keep my face hidden until I could assess the damage. Luckily, my hair was hanging everywhere like a curtain. “I’m taking a shower.”
“’Kay.”
Before she could say anything else, I disappeared, rushing for the shop. The smell of grease and gasoline made me gag, but I locked myself in the bathroom and cranked the shower on hot. Then as steam flooded the room, I faced the mirror.
Yep. Swollen lips.
A laugh escaped as I leaned closer, taking them in. Karson had kissed me. I had kissed him. We’d had a full-on make-out session on the Cadillac. Londyn’s Cadillac.
Would she hate me for it? Would she hate me for loving Karson? A wave of guilt swept over my shoulders, but I shook it away.
“She’ll never know,” I whispered, then went for my toothbrush, scrubbing my mouth until all I tasted was mint.
The mirror began to fog so I stripped off yesterday’s clothes and stepped into the shower stall. I lingered, soaking in the warmth and letting it chase away the hangover. At least . . . I assumed it was a hangover. By the time I stepped out, my headache wasn’t as bad and my mind was clear.
I’d need a clear head. Because I’d bolted on Karson and we had to talk about the kissing.
Would he want to do it again? Or would he say it was a mistake? I was fairly certain I’d die if he told me I was a mistake.
We only had two days left until our birthday. They’d be the longest two days of my life if Karson rejected me now.
Aria was dressed and eating a rice cake when I returned to the truck. She was sitting on the end, kicking her legs.
“I tried beer,” I blurted, climbing inside. I put my soap and shampoo away, then hung up my towel. Then I sat beside her and let my head rest on her shoulder. “Beer is really bad.”
She laughed. “Where’d you get beer?”
“Karson. Some guy at his work bought him a six-pack.”
“Ahh.” She nodded. “Was that why you fell asleep in the tent?”
“Yeah.” I sighed, holding back the rest of the story. I wasn’t ready to admit my feelings. I wasn’t ready to admit that I’d betrayed Londyn by falling in love with her boyfriend—ex-boyfriend.
“I thought maybe you and Karson . . .”
“Huh?” My heart dropped as I feigned confusion.
“Do you like him?”
“We’re friends.” I sat up straight. Not a complete lie. Then I stood and walked to the truck’s wall, picking up the dry-erase marker to write today’s number.
Two.
Only two days left and I’d say goodbye to Karson. Kiss or not, we were going our separate ways. Maybe his kiss had been a farewell.
“What time do you want to head in for work?” I asked after swallowing the lump in my throat.
“About an hour. But you don’t have to come with me. I doubt Karson’s mother wants anything to do with us. I think she was just looking for him.”
“Y
eah.” We’d explained that much to Karson, but he still insisted on escorting us into town.
“I’m actually going to head out when he’s not looking.” She smirked. “See you later.”
“Be careful.” Before she could jump down, I went and wrapped my arms around her. “Love you.”
“Love you too. Enjoy your day off. Will you—”
“Water your plants? Of course.”
She snatched her empty backpack, then jumped down and scanned the plant buckets that surrounded the truck. The happy smile on her face disappeared as she took in the flowers and green leaves.
Those were her babies and there was no way for them to come to Vegas. They’d probably die before fall—never something I’d say aloud. But Lou wasn’t going to care for them.
The man only had so much to give, though what he’d given us had been enough.
“Bye.” She waved, then headed out, hooking the pack’s straps on her shoulders as she walked.
“Turkey if you bring home a sandwich,” I called to her back.
She lifted a hand with a thumb up.
Two days, then there’d be no more scrap sandwiches. Well, after we got on our feet.
Aria and I weren’t delusional about what waited for us at the end of our countdown. The days were likely to get harder for a while as we started a new life. Without jobs or a home, I imagined we’d be spending a week or two in a sleezy motel with bedbugs and cockroaches.
But that was what we’d been saving for. We had enough money to afford a cheap room while we got an apartment lined up. Neither of us wanted to be living on the streets, especially in Las Vegas.
The sudden urge to count our savings stash came over me, and I hurried to my bed, taking it out and separating the cash into piles.
Two thousand three hundred and fifty dollars. Exactly what had been there the last time Aria and I had counted it out. Nearly three years of peanut butter and honey sandwiches, eating whatever our respective restaurants would give us and spending next to nothing, all so we could have a decent shot at a future.