by Devney Perry
Was he even listening to his own words? “You were trying to protect her.”
“She didn’t see it that way.”
“You can’t be serious.” His mother was a bitch. She could have gotten a job. She could have provided for her son instead of blaming him for her problems.
Karson shrugged. “After sixteen years of her reminding me every damn day that I was worthless, of her telling me that I’d ruined her life, I decided it was enough. If I was ruining her life, why stay?”
Oh, God. My heart cracked. He was so good. So incredible. How could his own mother not see that? How could he have this so wrong? “No, Karson. It’s not you.”
“She loved my father. Maybe the only person in her life that she actually loved more than herself. I don’t think she was a drunk back then. But he split two weeks after I was born.”
“That’s not your fault.” He’d been born to shitty parents.
“It is and it isn’t. That’s just my life.”
“Karson, you did not ruin her life.”
He didn’t say a word.
He didn’t believe me.
“Karson. That’s not on you.”
Again, silence. No matter what I said, he didn’t see it. Why? How? There was no way he should carry all of this on his shoulders. “You really think you ruined her life.”
He looked up and the raw honesty in his eyes broke my heart. “I think we ruined each other. I think there are toxic people in this world and maybe I’m one of them.”
“You’re not,” I insisted, clenching my jaw so I wouldn’t scream. “You’re not toxic.”
“I was for her. And maybe others.”
He didn’t mean me, did he? He couldn’t. No way. Karson was the foundation to our lives here. He’d been there for all of us.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.
He shrugged. “Nothing to say.”
“I’m sorry.” Yes, Craig had been a nightmare, but our parents had loved us. That was the one thing Aria and I had always held tight to. Our parents had loved us.
It set us apart from the others in the junkyard.
No matter how many times I saw it, how many of my friends had gone through it, I still couldn’t understand how a mother or father couldn’t love their children.
“She’s wrong.” I twisted my hand and threaded my fingers through Karson’s. “You have to know that. She’s so wrong. You’re amazing. You’re the best guy I’ve ever known.”
He stared at our fingers but didn’t reply.
“Karson.”
No response.
He didn’t believe me. I could sit here and scream it into his face, but he was not hearing my words. Whatever that bitch of a mother had done to him had slashed deep. He covered it up with that dreamy smile and easy charm, but there were wounds hidden beneath.
“Why did she go to the cops?” I asked. “Why would she bring them to the car wash?”
“Desperation? Before I ran away, I stole a bunch of jewelry from her. I pawned it ages ago, but maybe she thinks I still have it. That she can blackmail me into coming home. Who knows? She’s crazy, remember?”
“It’s not like they can do anything to you. They can’t prove you pawned it, though, can they?”
“Maybe. That was a long time ago but . . . they’ll believe her over me,” he muttered. “They’ll want to know where I’m living and search my things.”
“Can they do that?”
“They’re the cops.”
And if they came here, we were in trouble. “Lou wouldn’t let them in.”
“He won’t have a choice.”
“Why would she think that getting the cops involved would make you go home? Or talk to her?”
He circled a finger around his temple. “You’re thinking rationally now. Nothing she does is rational. But she can cry on cue. She’ll give you these eyes that make you feel bad for her. It’s all a trap. She needs money and at first, she must have thought she could guilt me into being her meal ticket. Now she’s going for blackmail.”
And she seemed determined. His mother would come here eventually. Of that, I had no doubt. She’d find a way to torment him until . . .
Until he was gone.
My heart ached. I knew what I had to say, and I knew the words would taste like acid on my tongue. “You should go. Leave early. Start exploring the world and live your life.”
Karson’s gaze met mine and softened, then he let go of my hand to cup my cheek. “I’m not ready to leave you yet.”
I leaned into his touch as my heart flipped. “I’m not ready either.”
Not when I’d just found him. There was so little time left. I didn’t want to cut it short.
A muted curse came from beyond the tent’s walls. Karson pulled his hand away and I inched backward, putting space between us, right before Aria poked her head inside. “I stubbed my toe.”
“No shower?”
She lifted the soap, towel and washcloth in her hand. “I decided to water my plants again first. It was hot today. And I was just thinking that maybe we should tell Lou. Warn him about your mom and the cops.”
“Yeah,” Karson mumbled. “Probably a good idea. I’ll tell him in the morning. He’s better in the mornings.”
Lou rarely came outside in the afternoons or evenings. It was something I hadn’t noticed for a long time, not until Gemma had pointed it out.
“Okay. I’m dealing with the stink that is me,” Aria said.
“I’m going to hang out here for a while.”
She nodded, then left us alone with a wave.
I turned to Karson, waiting until her footsteps disappeared. Then he was there, kissing me. His hands framed my face and his lips consumed mine. I melted into him, shifting closer to wrap my arms around his waist.
God, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
I wanted time. I wanted more kisses. I wanted . . . Karson. I wanted him to be the one.
A whimper escaped my throat as Karson dragged his lips away. I opened my eyes to find his hazel irises waiting and full of lust.
“Did you tell Aria?”
I shook my head, breathing, “No. I wasn’t sure what we were.”
“I get it.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “We’d better slow down.”
“Yeah,” I muttered.
Aria would know if I showed up at the truck with swollen lips and flushed cheeks. I loved my sister, but Karson was mine, and I didn’t want to share. Just this one thing I wanted as my own.
I didn’t want to hear her warnings. I didn’t want to answer her questions.
How long? What about Londyn? Do you love him?
“I better go,” I breathed.
He nodded and let me go, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. If there were time, if I were braver, I’d lick the column of that throat. I’d taste the saltiness of his skin, like so many of the characters did in my books.
I stood and walked to the doorway on shaky legs. Walking away from Karson was like waking from a dream. I longed to go back, to kiss him again. Because with him, I could get lost in another world. A world without junkyards and dead parents and peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
How was I supposed to leave him for Las Vegas? How was I supposed to walk away from the only person who could make reality disappear?
I couldn’t. He had to come with us. If he tried Vegas, he might like it.
“Karson—”
“Come back tonight.”
We spoke in unison.
“Okay,” I agreed. Tonight, I’d ask him again tonight. I’d beg if I had to. But he had to come with us.
With my fingertips pressed to my lips, I returned to the truck, where I sat on my bed and did my best to look normal by the time Aria arrived from her shower. Then we busied ourselves by dividing up the books, each deciding which three we’d bring along.
I loved time with my sister, but every minute dragged until finally, she yawned as darkness crept over the junkyard.
&
nbsp; “I’m going to bed.”
A wave of excitement stirred in my belly. “Oh. Already? I’m not tired.”
She stripped off her jeans and pulled on the ratty sleep shorts she’d had for years. It was a good thing neither of us had bloomed early. Though my pants were snug in the hips and shirts stretched across my breasts, our bodies hadn’t changed so much that we’d had to buy completely new clothes over the years.
But someday. Someday I would wear clothing without a single tear or frayed hem.
“Are you going to read?” She yawned again as she climbed into her sleeping bag.
“Actually, I might see if Karson wants to play cards or something. We were in a poker game last night.”
“Okay.” She snuggled with her pillow.
“I’ll close this door. In case I just crash there again. In Katherine’s room.” Before Aria could say anything else, I scurried from the truck, closing the back so she was safe inside.
Karson was outside the tent, standing with his face turned toward the stars.
“Hey,” I said, slowing my footsteps even though my heart was pounding.
He looked down and the wide smile he gave me caused tingles to skate across my skin. “Hey.”
“What are you looking at?” I searched the sky but there weren’t many stars out yet.
“Nothing. Just waiting for you.”
“So, um, what do you want to do? Play cards?”
He shook his head.
“Talk?”
He shook his head again, and in one stride he was in my space. His hands came to my face, tilting my chin so he could smash his lips on mine.
I let out a mewl as his arms banded around me, pulling me flush against the hard lines of his tall body. Then he swept me off my feet, my toes skimming across the dirt as he carried me to the tent.
Karson ducked inside, breaking away from my mouth, but his arms never loosened their hold until we were both on our knees in the center of the room.
Our lips were fused together. Our tongues glided and stroked and dived in for more. His hands skimmed over my ribs and down my hips. Then he cupped my breasts and the intimate touch startled a gasp.
“You okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Did I go too far?”
“No.” I leaned into his touch, my nipples hardening. “It’s okay.”
But even with the assurance, Karson pulled his hands away. He inched backward on his knees. “We’d better slow down.”
“Oh.” The disappointment in my tone filled the space.
“I don’t want to rush this.”
“We only have two days left.”
“Clara, I want you. God, I want you. But . . .” He ran a hand over his jaw. “Maybe you should go.”
Because he wouldn’t want to stop.
I didn’t want him to stop.
Maybe if my life had been normal. If I were the girl who’d crushed on the boy in school. If we had had weeks of flirting beside lockers and going on dates, then I would have slowed this down.
But we only had two days. And if I couldn’t convince him to come to Vegas, then I’d lose him.
“I don’t want to go.” I squared my shoulders, feigning more confidence than I actually felt.
Karson let out a pained groan. “Clara.”
“I want you to be the one,” I whispered.
His eyes locked on mine and whatever restraint he’d been holding onto shredded. He came at me, strong and sure, and kissed me until I was breathless. Then he took me to his room, laying me on the bed that I’d slept on with him just last night.
Karson’s kisses were tender and soft as he settled on his side, careful not to crush me under his weight. “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop.”
“Don’t stop.” I closed my eyes and arched into his lips as they trailed down my neck.
One of his hands was on my breast, the other in my hair.
When his fingers drifted to the waistband of my jeans, I ached in places I hadn’t ached before. A throb boomed in my core.
Karson never pushed too fast. He looked at me before every touch, waiting for that nod to continue. He let me conquer the fears, one by one. He let me know with his kiss and his touch and those gorgeous hazel eyes that I was in control.
And when we were both naked, our clothes piled beside us, he settled into the cradle of my hips and brushed his thumb across my cheek.
“Clara.” He whispered my name like a prayer.
I ran my fingers across his collarbone. I fit my palm to the hard muscle of his bicep. Then I gave him the nod that brought us together as one.
Later, after he’d made me see a different kind of stars, we curled together, our legs tangled and his arms encircling mine. I fell asleep with a smile.
Karson didn’t know it, but he’d just given me something I’d never had before.
A dream come true.
Chapter Eight
Clara
The murmur of voices woke me from sleep. “Who is tha—”
“Shh.” Karson’s arms squeezed around me as he whispered in my ear. Then he let me go and silently slipped from beneath his blankets, swiping up his jeans from the floor. He tugged them on and tiptoed, barefoot, toward the opening of the tent. With a glance over his shoulder, he pressed a finger to his lips and crept outside.
I scrambled to get dressed, strapping on my bra first, then rifling through the clothes scattered around me for my panties. With them on, I yanked on my jeans and shirt, then followed Karson outside. Crouching low as I walked, I weaved through the piles of junk around the tent, finding him ducked behind an old truck.
Aria was by his side.
They were both staring at Lou, who stood beside the gate.
Talking to two police officers.
Their voices echoed across the yard.
Lou’s was gruff and raspy as he thrust a photo back at one of the cops. “Never seen him.”
“Are you sure?” The officer took the photo, looking at it himself. “This is an outdated photo. Maybe you could look again.”
Lou scowled. “Never seen that kid.”
The officers shared a look. “Sir, we have reason to believe this young man is living here. In your junkyard. On your property.”
“Not here.”
“Mr. Miley, if we could just take a look around—”
“No,” Lou barked. “There’s no kid here. Don’t you think I’d know if a damn kid was living at my place?”
“There are a lot of places where a person could hide.” One officer scanned the junkyard. When his face shifted our way, all three of us hit the dirt.
Aria’s face was pale. She sat unmoving other than the short, fast breaths that made her chest rise and fall. They matched mine.
Karson’s jaw was clenched tight and his fists balled at his sides.
His mother had done this. She’d sent the police here and given them that photo.
“There’s no one here but me,” Lou repeated, agitation tainting his words.
Maybe I heard the lie because I knew the truth. But if I didn’t believe Lou, the cops might not either.
“We believe he’s involved in a breaking and entering,” one of the officers said. “He’s been stealing from his mother for years now. Family heirlooms and such. She’s finally decided to get the authorities involved.”
“Fuck,” Karson muttered.
So his mother had decided to blackmail him.
The three of us shifted again, daring another glance at the officers. Thankfully, neither was looking our way. They were focused on Lou, who seemed to be getting more frazzled every second. He shifted his weight from foot to foot. He rattled the ring of keys in his hand.
Even when he had customers come to the yard, he’d point them in the right direction, then send them on their way. He never played tour guide. If a mechanic or antique hunter came here searching for spare parts, they were left on their own, given clear directions where they could and could not search. And Lou never ha
ggled. He had signs around the shack saying as much.
It was all so he didn’t have to prolong human interaction.
“Would you call us if you see anyone?” one of the officers asked, handing over a card.
Lou nodded and took the paper, shoving it into the pocket of his baggy jeans. Then, without waiting for the cops to leave, he turned and disappeared into his shack, slamming the door behind him.
The officers shared a look of disbelief, then walked to the street, where their cruiser was parked. As they rolled down the road, Karson, Aria and I stayed hidden, waiting until the only sound was the soft breeze through the drying summer grasses around the property.
Karson was the first to stand, shaking his head as he marched to the tent.
Aria stood and sighed. “Shit.”
“This is bad.” I got to my bare feet and pinched the bridge of my nose. “This is very bad. He told me a little about her last night. His mother. From the sound of it, she’s a manipulative, lying bitch.”
“He should leave.”
The twist in my chest was so tight I struggled to breathe. She was right. The best thing was for Karson to move on. But I wasn’t ready to give him up. Not yet. Not after last night.
“You slept in the tent again,” she said.
“We played cards pretty late. I didn’t want to wake you,” I lied.
Today was not the day to tell Aria I’d given Karson my virginity.
The sound of a slamming door echoed across the yard. Aria and I both turned toward the shop door, recognizing the sound.
Karson had disappeared to the bathroom.
“I’m going to go get my shoes.” I left Aria’s side and hurried to the tent, scanning around Karson’s bed for anything I might have left behind. Only my shoes and socks remained. The condom he’d worn last night was gone, along with the wrapper.
I blushed and took a moment to breathe before I had to face my sister again.
Should I tell her? It would make it all easier if she knew what had happened, right? There’d be no sneaking around. Right. I’d just tell her. Decision made, I stepped into my shoes and found her in the truck. I climbed inside as she was making her bed.
“I, um . . .” Tell her.