“I wonder if Dr. Chesney knows about this.”
“Good question.”
Val walked to the nurse’s station to ask if it was safe for her to touch Nathan in this repetitive way. It was. She returned to the room, looked at the picture on the printouts and started tapping Nathan’s feet with her fingertips. For a few minutes, the friends remained silent. Val kept referring to the instructions, moving from the side of Nathan’s hand to under his arms. She skipped the taps on the head. “Thanks for this, Joely.”
More silence. Val hated the silence. She’d had a week of almost non-stop silence. “What’s going on with you?”
“You don’t want to hear about me. My problems seem so trivial compared to. . . .” Joely’s voice trailed off. She chewed on her lip.
“Please talk to me. I could use news of the outside world.” Val grimaced.
Her friend hesitated before speaking. “Well, since it’s tax season, Jake is busy at the accounting firm. Therefore, we haven’t nailed down the wedding date or location yet. I’m mostly focusing on losing weight right now.” She drank some of her shake and scrunched up her face as she swallowed. “I can’t believe how hard it is. I’m hungry all of the time and when I workout, I pay for it.”
“It’s not your fault. Maybe you should go easy on yourself. Walk instead of run.”
“But walking barely burns any calories.”
“Tell me you’re not going to postpone your wedding for something silly like a few pounds.”
“You sound like my sister.” Joely slurped the bottom of her can. She sighed and threw it into the trash can. “I want everything to be perfect.”
“Of course you do. Why not set the date, pick a place and just accept yourself the way you are? After all, Jake does.”
At that, a shadow of a smile formed on Joely’s lips.
Val looked at Nathan’s expressionless face and wondered if he’d ever smile again. She realized Joely was right. Her problems did seem trivial compared to this. How she longed for life to be trivial again.
# # #
Jake might accept Joely the way she was, but Mrs. Mahoney certainly did not. Jake’s mom had insisted they meet at “the Club” on Saturday. The scent of fresh bread wafted from the country club’s restaurant. Joely’s legs wobbled like rubber bands as she walked into the large banquet room. She’d pushed herself so hard at the gym that she needed a cane to maintain her balance.
Mrs. Mahoney, dressed in a caramel-colored linen suit, wore pearls in each ear and a strand around her neck. Suddenly Joely felt underdressed in her usual peasant skirt, blouse and Doc Martens sandals. Why hadn’t she at least put on some tinted lip balm?
Jake’s mom eyed Joely’s cane with a crinkled nose. “I hope you’re not going to walk down the aisle with that.”
Well, nice to see you, too. Joely fiddled with the amethyst bracelet on her wrist. The stones promoted healing and happiness.
Jake dropped Joely’s hand and leaned in to give his mother a peck on each cheek. Mrs. Mahoney had been raised out east and that was how she preferred to be greeted. Even though it felt odd to her, Joely followed suit.
After the hellos were over, Mrs. Mahoney straightened her back. “Where’s my granddaughter?”
“Anna had a play date with a friend,” Joely said. “Besides, looking at banquet halls wouldn’t be much fun for a six-year-old.” Warmth filled her as Jake clasped her hand again.
Mrs. Mahoney’s face flashed disappointment. “I was hoping to see her. Besides, every little girl dreams of her wedding day. She might have enjoyed this.”
Joely shrugged. I’m not even enjoying this and it’s my wedding. “So this is where you think we should have the reception?” She tried to act interested. Jake had explained to her that weddings were big productions on the East Coast and his mother liked the tradition. Joely glanced out the large windows that overlooked the golf course. No doubt Jake’s dad was out there on the green somewhere. The man preferred golf to family. “It’s nice.”
“Nice?” Mrs. Mahoney sniped. “This is where everyone wishes they could hold their reception. Not only is there a lovely view, but the chef trained at the Cordon Bleu. After delicious appetizers and the main meal, they fill this whole area with a dessert buffet.” She gestured with her hand to a long beige wall. “They will have chocolate fondue, crepes made to order, pies and tarts. I’ll have to pull some strings to get you guys in here.”
Joely’s knees throbbed. “I thought we’d just have wedding cake.” Jolts of pain zapped her nerves like an electric fence. She looked for a place to sit down.
Worry lined Jake’s forehead. He gripped her hand tighter. “Are you all right?”
She shook her head. “I need a chair.”
He crossed the room and carried a padded dining room chair to her. He grasped her elbow, helping her to sit.
Joely waved him away. “I’m fine. Thanks.”
Mrs. Mahoney rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her designer suit. “Is this what it’s going to be like? You won’t even be able to dance with my son at his wedding? Are you in need of a full-time nursemaid? Because my Jake is bound for greater things.”
Jake’s head shot up. “Mother!”
Rubbing her knee, Joely hated that her body had failed her just now. She didn’t need Mrs. Mahoney making her feel worse. Thank goodness Jake had been raised more by his nanny than by this woman. “Lupus is unpredictable. With any luck, I’ll be able to walk without a cane on my wedding day.”
“Are you sure you’re really in that much pain? A woman in my bridge club has lupus and she seems perfectly fine to me.”
Joely took a deep breath. So many people didn’t understand how the disease could torture you one week and be manageable the next. “Does she come to every meeting?”
Mrs. Mahoney touched her white-blond hair. “Well, no.”
Even though Jake whispered for Joely not to bother, she continued. “That’s because when her lupus flares, she probably stays home. She doesn’t want you to see her at her worst. Or she’s in so much pain, she can’t even drive herself there.”
Mrs. Mahoney’s mouth opened slightly, but she didn’t speak. She appeared to be thinking.
Jake placed his hand on Joely’s shoulder and rubbed it gently. “Mom, you need to accept that I am marrying Joely and that she really is sick. She isn’t faking it for the attention. She fights it every day, trying to live a normal life.”
His mom took a step closer and looked him in the eye. Her voice lowered. “Why would you want to marry someone who’s crippled?”
Joely flinched. She hated the word “cripple.”
Jake’s fingers froze. “Because I love her. I love her even more for the way she handles her lupus. The last thing she wants is for anyone to feel sorry for her. But I also love her because she’s creative, she’s smart, she’s a great mother, and she doesn’t care about stuff like this.” His free arm opened wide. “She doesn’t care about country clubs and money and appearances. She’s the most genuinely, sweet person I’ve ever met.”
Mrs. Mahoney’s face remained tight. “Well, then.” She brushed her hands together as if brushing off Jake’s speech. Pointing out the window, she squinted. “Just down the road, you can almost see it from here, is the cathedral. Isn’t that convenient?”
Joely didn’t know what to say. They hadn’t agreed on a church. He’d been raised Catholic and she’d stayed home on Sunday mornings playing with her sister.
Mrs. Mahoney checked her diamond-studded watch. “It’s time to go. I scheduled for you to meet with the priest in ten minutes.”
Jake’s hand clenched Joely’s shoulder. “Mom, I told you we aren’t sure we want to get married in the church.”
She gasped and reached for her chest. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Of course you’ll get married in the church. Don’t tell me you’d rather go to city hall.”
He cracked his knuckles. “Not really, but. . . .”
Gripping her can
e, Joely forced herself up. She looked Jake’s mom in her cold, dark eyes. “If Jake wants to talk to the priest, I’m willing to do that.”
Studying Joely’s face, Jake’s features softened. “Really?”
Joely fiddled again with her bracelet. Health and happiness—that’s what she longed for. Therefore, she’d do her part to make the relationship with her in-laws a pleasant one. “It can’t hurt to talk.”
Mrs. Mahoney tracked down the manager and spoke in hushed tones as Joely limped out. Ten minutes later, the three of them got in their vehicles and drove to the limestone Cathedral. Once inside, colorful stained glass windows greeted them. Worn-smooth oak pews lined the sanctuary ready for a few hundred parishioners to show up for Mass. Joely couldn’t help but whisper, “Wow” as she admired the beautiful details.
Looking at her, Jake lowered his eyebrows. “Do you like it?”
“It’s a work of art.”
His mom clapped her hands. “Excellent. Now follow me and I’ll introduce you to Father Paul.” She led them to an office where she made the introductions.
Father Paul had thinning hair, a husky frame and kind eyes. He shook everyone’s hand and told them to take a seat. But only two chairs sat across from his desk. Jake’s mom looked around for her spot.
Jake cleared his throat and looked at her. “Mother, you can go. This is between Joely and me.”
Mrs. Mahoney didn’t leave.
Father Paul told her they needed a volunteer to chair the homeless shelter food drive. He told her to get the details from the secretary in the next office. At this, she made her exit.
Jake closed the door behind her then sat next to Joely. He reached over to hold her hand. “I’m not sure what we’re here for. My mom scheduled this without telling us.”
Father Paul leaned across his desk and folded his hands. “I hear you two are getting married. Congratulations.”
They both nodded and smiled.
“I understand there is a child already?”
Joely squirmed in her seat. Nothing like setting foot in a church to make her feel like a sinner. “Yes. Anna. She’s six.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I assume she has been christened, brought up as a Catholic?”
Crossing her legs, Joely decided to let Jake field the rest of the questions. She gave him a look to indicate this was his problem.
Jake took a deep breath. “Father, it’s complicated. Joely isn’t Catholic.”
Father Paul furrowed his brow at her. “Why do you want to be married here if you do not believe?”
“I’m not sure that I do want to be married here. I mean, it’s beautiful and all, but this is more for Jake’s family.”
The man scratched his thinning hair. “The only way I’ll perform the ceremony is if you agree to raise your child and future children in the church.”
Her hand squeezed Jake’s. Future children. She wasn’t sure she could give Jake any more kids. Somehow, she felt even less worthy to marry him.
Father Paul continued, probably unaware of the turmoil he was causing. “If you do not commit your children to the church, they cannot be accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven.”
She uncrossed her legs. She didn’t really want to get into a theological debate with a priest. “Perhaps we should go.”
Jake gave her a conflicted look--one that she didn’t quite know how to interpret. A moment later, he stood and they left.
CHAPTER TEN
The ventilator hissed with artificial breath in Nathan’s room. Lydia’s incessant knitting was starting to get on Val’s nerves. Not to mention the way she rumbled the phlegm in her throat every five minutes.
As if on cue, Lydia hacked like she had a hairball. “Maybe we should read the newspapers again.”
Val shook her head. She was tired of reading aloud. Tired of making small talk with her mother-in-law. Tired of having to put on a brave face. She wanted to be alone with her husband. “Why don’t you go to Nathan’s apartment? Take a shower, check his mailbox, give yourself a little break?”
Lydia didn’t miss a purl. “No. I want to be here when he wakes up.” She’d finished the baby booties the second day and now seemed to be knitting the world’s longest scarf. “Maybe you should do tapping again.”
At least three times a day, when the healthier patients were served their meals, Val did tapping. It couldn’t hurt to do it again. She lifted the covers and pulled off Nathan’s socks. She held her four fingers tight together and tapped them against the soles of his feet. He had long, calloused feet. Feet that usually wore work boots. Now they seemed so exposed. So raw. So useless.
Lydia made that nasty sound in her throat again. Val paused, her shoulders tight. A moment later she moved up his body. It felt good to have something specific to do. Feet, hands, collar bone.
Each place on the body served a different purpose from healing to boosting immunity. It didn’t matter that she didn’t remember which location did what. It also didn’t matter that Dr. Chesney thought she was crazy when she mentioned it to him. There were lots of things science couldn’t explain.
Which meant no one had any idea how long Nathan would remain like this. Thank goodness her boss had given her some time off of work and Chip had school all day. She couldn’t imagine being anywhere but here by Nathan’s side. Talking, tapping, reading, and hoping. Surely he could feel her presence. Sense her longing for him to wake up.
One of the papers she’d signed had asked if Nathan had a living will. They’d never discussed such morbid things. Would he want her to pull the plug after so much time? How long would that be? Weeks? Months? Years? No, she would not allow herself to think like that. He’d only fallen down the stairs. People fell all the time. This shouldn’t be a big deal. Even though it was.
In her mind’s eye, the unity candle flickered. Had that been a warning about this? She shook her head. “Come on, Nathan. I’m waiting for you to open your eyes. Come back to me.”
Lydia paused from her knitting. “Yes, Nathan. We all miss you.”
His face was flat. Expressionless. After Val had tapped him from bottom to top, she started over again. She expected him to respond when she touched his flesh since he was extremely ticklish. But he never flinched.
She stopped tapping to touch what was left of his thick hair around the shaved surgical area. His brown hair had started graying at the temples (when his father died two years ago, he’d told her), but he still had a young face. In fact, he could pass for someone in his twenties, even though he was in his early thirties. She used to tease him about his baby face. Remind him to bring his i.d. when they went out for dinner. Not that he ever ordered a drink.
A young, curly-haired nurse came into the room pushing a cart with two bowls full of water. “Hello!” She was a little too cheerful, as if she were new. “It’s time for Mr. Sullivan’s sponge bath.” She wrung out a washcloth and loosened the top of Nathan’s gown.
For some reason, Lydia dropped her knitting and rose. “I’ll do that.” She reached for the cloth in the nurse’s hand.
The bright-eyed nurse pulled away. “No, I’m trained to do this. It’s no big deal.”
Lydia rolled the cart toward the foot of the bed and out of the other woman’s reach. “I’m his mother. If anyone should wash him, it should be me.”
“Wait a minute,” Val said. “I’m his wife.” She stood. “I think Nathan would prefer if I were the one washing him.”
The nurse tilted her head in confusion. Perhaps this was the first time people had argued with her over a sponge bath. “Really, it’s my job. I’ll do it.” She tried to move around Lydia to reach the soapy water.
Lydia grabbed at the cloth again. “Let me do it. He’d be mortified to have some stranger see him.”
“Ma’am. Ma’am!” The nurse wrestled away the rag and hid it behind her back. “If you won’t allow me to do my job, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
A crazed look crossed Lydia’s wrinkled face. This wasn’t like her.
Val clutched her mother-in-law’s shoulders and tried to calm her down. Lydia flung her arms up in the air, breaking free. “This is my son. My oldest son. My firstborn.” Her head dropped and she started sobbing. “It’s my job to take care of him.” Suddenly all of the fight in her dissipated.
Tears filled Val’s eyes. She bit her lip and escorted Nathan’s mom out into the hallway. “Let the nurse do her job.”
They made their way to a bench in the waiting area. Lydia buried her face in her hands and cried. Val was tired of crying. Tired of not knowing.
The doctor said that these first few days were critical. The swelling had gone down and now they just had to wait. If Nathan remained in a coma for too long, Dr. Chesney said they’d have to insert an endotracheal tube. Something to do with preventing pneumonia. He already had tubes in his stomach, his mouth and his skull. All she knew was she didn’t want any more tubes in her husband’s body.
She hadn’t prayed in years, but found it only natural now. She pressed her eyelids together. God, please make Nathan wake up. Please. I’ll be the perfect wife if you bring him back to me.
###
Children weren’t allowed in the rooms past visiting hours, but the nurse on the night shift made an exception for Chip, saying she had a soft spot for single mothers. That same nurse said she thought she saw Nathan’s big toe twitching last night. Just a centimeter or so. But Val hadn’t seen any movement from him all day. Her hopes had been deflated by hours and hours of inertia.
Somehow Val convinced Nathan’s mom to leave the hospital. The nurses had begged them both to go home, claiming they weren’t helping. Too tired to knit, Lydia finally conceded around six p.m. Since she lived an hour away, she went to Nathan’s apartment. Val would have to leave soon, too, to put Chip to bed.
On the Verge (Sisters Series Book 3) Page 6