“A chance you could be tortured and killed.”
So I’d had the same thought. So what. “But at least I’ll have done something.” I had to do something. “And what if I’m the one, huh?” The girl who would sacrifice herself to save many. “What if I need to die?”
“You don’t. What we read might be a counterfeit.”
“It isn’t. It was part of the journal.”
He lowered his head, and his nose pressed against mine. “What if you’re not the one? You would have put yourself in harm’s way for nothing.”
He had an argument for everything. “Not for nothing.” But, okay, fine, I did get where he was coming from. “No matter what, we have to get those boys back. That’s priority one.”
A moment passed, the tension heating me up inside.
“You’re right,” he said and nodded. “But we’ll do things my way.”
“Agreed. If your way is my way.”
He snorted. “Forget the right way—my way—for now.”
“Already done. Now, enough talking. I’ve got a better use for your mouth.” I brushed my lips against his and pushed his shoulders, easing him back on the rug.
He quickly rolled me over. His movements were as sleek as a panther’s as he spread himself over me and pinned me down. “This your way of distracting me?” He kissed the line of my jaw, and my veins became a conduit for tingling warmth. “Because it’s working.”
“You did promise me a second date, did you not?”
“I did.”
“Well, this is what I want to do.”
“Lie here...talking?” He unveiled a slow, wicked smile.
The blood in my veins flashed white-hot. “Kissing...touching. More. Everything.”
Expression growing pained, he said, “Ali—”
“I almost died yesterday,” I interjected. “I could die tomorrow or even an hour from now. I want to be with you, Cole.”
“Ali—” he repeated.
“No. You are under the impression that this decision is yours. Or your dad’s. Well, news flash. It isn’t. It’s ours. I’m ready. I’ve been ready. You’re ready.”
A battle seemed to wage in his mind. “I’ve talked myself into and out of this all day.”
So he had contemplated it. “What are my eyes saying?”
He pressed his forehead against mine. “Too much.”
“And I’m sure every word is riveting. Listen to them.”
I tangled my fingers in his hair and placed scorching kisses along his jawline. It wasn’t long before he angled his head, meeting my lips with his own, stealing my breath.
“You’re sure?” he rasped, hands beginning to wander.
He got his answer when I maneuvered him to his back...and made my move.
Chapter 23
A MIND IS A TERRIBLE
THING TO WASTE
I wanted to stand on a rooftop and shout. Hey, world! Cole and I finally had sex!
The big event ended over an hour ago, but we hadn’t moved from the rug. Well, I hadn’t. He had, but for only a moment, when he’d disposed of the condom. Then he’d returned and gathered me close. I was glad. I was still utterly overwhelmed. Me and Cole. Cole and me. The two of us. Together.
Was it stalker-clingy to think our souls were now melded together?
Probably. But I didn’t care! We’d had sex!
As much as I belonged to him, he now belonged to me. Not just in word, but in deed. There was responsibility. Accountability. And yes, those things had been a part of our relationship before, but...everything just felt different now. More intense.
He held me in his arms, as if I was a precious treasure. Considering what we’d just done—melded souls!—I had better be. I could feel the thump, thump of his heartbeat, a riotous pound in sync with my own.
“You okay?” he asked.
I propped my chin in an upraised palm and peered down at him. His dark hair was rumpled and sexy, his eyes at half-mast. His lips were slightly swollen from the force of my kisses. Honestly? He’d never looked better.
“I think so.” A deep sense of vulnerability washed over me—it wasn’t the first time. “What about you? Wishing we’d waited two more years, as planned?”
“I think we both know that plan was destined to fail. And stupid. And a crime against nature.”
I kissed the spot just over his nipple ring. “You gave it your best shot.”
“That’s all a guy can do, really,” he said as he played with my hair.
“Well, A for effort.”
“Oh, are we scoring each other now?”
“No!” I blurted...then nibbled on my bottom lip. “Yes?”
He chuckled. “You are off the charts, love. The best. My favorite. No one compares.”
“Obviously,” I replied, my tone imperious.
His chuckle morphed into a snort.
Another wave of vulnerability washed over me. “You love me, right? Now and always?”
“Of course I love you. And you believe me, because you trust me to always be honest with you.”
Just like I would always be...honest with...
Oh, crap. I hadn’t been honest with him. I hadn’t told him about Helen. I’d had sex with him, but hadn’t freaking told him about Helen.
I knew how devastating a single lie could be. How it could destroy a lifetime of trust. And this was a lie. A lie of omission. But I couldn’t tell him now. Not while our clothes were scattered around us and we were basking in the warmth of the fire.
So...when?
Tomorrow. Yes. And he would forgive me. He would understand. Because of what we’d just shared, we would work things out easier now, each more willing to compromise.
In a desperate bid to change the subject, I said the first thing that popped into my head. “Have you ever been with someone like me before?” And then wanted to slink away and hide.
The thought of him with another girl—even girls who’d come pre-Ali—did something to me. Something it hadn’t done before. I wanted to put each one in the hospital. Just for a few days. Just as long as blood flowed.
“Someone like you? There is no one else like you.”
“Inexperienced.”
A sigh. “One,” he hedged.
“Did you love her? How did she act afterward?”
He sighed. “Do you really want to talk about this?”
“Yes.”
Tracing his fingers down my spine, caressing, he said, “No, I didn’t love her. That was my do-anyone-who-agrees stage. And I don’t know how she acted. Her parents came home and I had to sneak out the window.”
I still wanted to make her bleed, but maybe I’d also bring her flowers. I didn’t like the thought of her all alone, vulnerable, like I was now. “How did you feel?”
“Do you care, or are you really asking how I feel about us?”
I gulped. “Us.”
He held me tighter. “I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.”
Um. “Did you just quote Nicholas Sparks? Or rather, Ryan Gosling from The Notebook?”
A pause, a chuckle. “Was hoping you wouldn’t catch that.”
Too bad. “And you’re not dying of shame for memorizing something from a chick flick?”
“Baby, that movie isn’t a chick flick. It’s the best wingman of all time. Any guy can get laid afterward. Besides, the thought of Ryan Gosling made you go all dreamy and crap.”
It had. It so had. Well played, Cole Holland. Well played. “Have you ever had a one-night stand?” But I was back on track now.
He kissed my temple. “Where is this coming from?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I feel so out of control right now, like I could pull out my hai
r, and then pull out yours, and then hug you and kiss you, and maybe eat a big stack of chocolate-chip cookies.”
“That’s... Okay, wow. You are weird in the most perfect way.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
A pause. A sigh. “Yes. I’ve had a one-night stand.”
“With who?” I asked, already jealous of the faceless girl. Or girls.
“To be honest, I don’t even know their names.”
Names. Plural. Just how many girls did I need to hospitalize?
“So...what do you want to be when you grow up?” he asked. “Assuming all zombies have been wiped out by then.”
I grabbed on to the distraction this time. It was a lifeline. “Seriously? That’s how you phrase it?”
“Why not?”
“When I get older,” I said with emphasis, “I want to... Don’t you dare laugh! I want to be a counselor or something.”
“Why would I laugh? You’ll make a great counselor, helping people blubber about their—”
I twisted his nipple ring.
“Ow!” He pried my fingers loose. “You’ve been through so much,” he said, serious now. “You can understand people and pain in a way so many others cannot.”
“What about you? What do you want to do?”
“I’ve got it all figured out. On my downtime, I’ll be a survivalist, taking people out in the woods and teaching them how to thrive.”
“And telling them what to do.”
“That’s just a bonus.”
“Well, it’s perfect for you. But what about your up time?”
“Law enforcement.”
Even more perfect. “You’ll get to deal with punk kids with secrets.”
He flashed a dazzling grin. “Karma.”
“The cow.” I yawned, a wave of fatigue sneaking up on me.
“Sleep.”
“No. Talk.” But his warmth was lulling me deeper and deeper into a sea of darkness, and I soon drifted off....
I’m not sure how much time passed before he woke me up with a kiss.
“We’ve got to head back to River’s, love. I need to find out if anything new was learned.”
“Mmm, ’kay,” I said and rolled to my side to sleep some more.
Chuckling, he gave my butt a light tap. “Up or I start tickling.”
“And I start punching.”
“Let’s hold off on the foreplay until we’re where we need to be.”
* * *
Cole met with River, and I went back to bed. When I awoke, however long later, Cole was sitting at the side of the bed, watching me, his expression soft and tender.
“Good morning,” he said with a grin.
I sat up, mumbled, “Yeah, yeah.” I was sore and my mind was screaming one word over and over—sex, sex, sex.
“Hope you’re hungry.” He placed a tray piled high with pancakes over my lap. “They aren’t chocolate-chip cookies, but I thought you’d enjoy them anyway.”
I’m not sure how he’d managed to climb in and out of bed without waking me, but he had, and now he was encompassed by the bright light of a new day, looking sexier than ever while I probably sported a major case of bedhead.
“You’re blushing,” he said.
Because we just had sex! “Well, you’re annoying me,” I muttered.
He gave me the laugh reserved solely for me. “Note to self. Ali-gator turns into an Ali-cat when she doesn’t get enough rest.”
“And you’re about to have the scratches to prove it.”
“Oh, no,” he said, holding up his hands. “I’d hate to have your nails embedded anywhere on me...again.”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
He rubbed his knuckles into my crown.
“Stop!”
“Eat.”
“Fine.” I ate, showered—alone—and dressed in clean clothes that actually fit—thanks, whoever!—and tried not to think about everything we’d done in each other’s arms. It was as I towel-dried my hair that I realized Cole and I hadn’t yet had a new vision. I tried not to panic. The last time we’d stopped having visions, we’d broken up.
“Cole,” I said, frantically moving in front of him as I fastened a leather cuff around each of my wrists. Anything that made it harder for zombies to bite down became a vital part of my wardrobe. “We didn’t have a vision.”
He frowned but said, “It’ll be all right.” He bent down and pressed a soft kiss into my lips. “We’ll have one—”
—and suddenly we were in a narrow corridor. I was slung over his shoulder, and for the first time, I could actually feel the bone pushing into my stomach, cutting off my air. I could actually smell antiseptic, the tang of old pennies and smoke.
In the distance, gunfire and grunts of pain echoed, making me cringe.
“Let me go!” I snarled.
“Never again.” As I beat at his back and slammed my knees into his torso, he lifted a gun and shot every single man brave enough to approach. Pop. Pop. Pop. Bodies fell.
Human bodies. Not zombies.
“I mean it. Let go,” I demanded.
“Never. Again.”
“You keep saying that. What do you want with me? What do you want from me?”
“What I’ve always wanted. Everything.”
“Well, you can’t have it.”
At the end of the hallway, he could go left or right. To the left, Frosty was shooting his way through a group of men, his arms moving so quickly, from one target to another, I could hardly keep track. Bodies fell around him, too. Boom, boom, boom. Blood sprayed over the walls.
I’d never seen him look quite so fierce. His eyes were wild and glazed with hatred.
To the right, a sea of zombie collars lay on the floor—without zombies.
In both directions, fires crackled.
Cole went right, away from Frosty, surprising me. He—
—a knock at the door jolted us from the vision.
I blinked and found myself back inside the bedroom, the air clean and fresh, sunlight pouring in through the window.
“Rangarajan is here,” Camilla announced. “If you want in on the action, you need to get to the courtyard.”
Cole and I peered at each other, silent. Tense.
“That was more vivid than ever before,” I said.
“I know. Our stronger connection must affect our visions, too.”
“But why the delay in having one?”
“Because we have more control now and actually wanted it to happen? I don’t know.” He tangled a hand through his hair. “We’ll put this on hold for a while.”
All right. Okay. Because it wasn’t life or death.
Was it?
“Hey,” he said, gently chucking me under the chin. “This isn’t a bad thing. The visions are our friend, not our enemy. They’ve helped us in so many ways.”
True. “But they’ve hurt us, too.”
“Only because we didn’t know how to interpret them.”
“This one seemed pretty cut-and-dried.”
“Someone’s a downer today, isn’t she?” he asked with a growing smile.
I patted his cheek. “She is. And don’t you forget it, or you’ll lose something precious.”
“If you’re talking about my penis, I’d like to think it’s precious to you, too.”
Oh, good glory.
He laughed as he escorted me out of the room and to the courtyard. Only a handful of kids remained. River, Camilla and Knuckle Scars—I mean, Chance—plus all of our crew. The sun was high, a warm caress that contrasted nicely with the chilly air.
Someone had dragged a wide wooden circle to the center of the yard. Inside it had to be Dr. Rangarajan; his arms
were shackled overhead and his legs shackled below, so that he formed a perfect X. He was a short, thin man, probably in his mid-sixties, with salt-and-pepper hair and tanned, deeply wrinkled skin. Next to him, slayers looked like Vikings of old.
The doctor had been stripped to his underwear, and the cold air had to be chomping on his exposed skin. Tears had chilled in his lashes and on his cheeks, and snot had dried on his nose.
Kat raced across the way to step in front of me. She didn’t say a word, just looked up at me, and I knew what she was thinking. We should protest. I’d been tortured before, and she’d gotten an up-close-and-personal look at the results. If we did this, we would be stooping to Anima’s level, fighting evil with evil.
But just like with Benjamin, I didn’t know another way. And if the doctor knew where Justin was, we had to do something.
“P-please,” Dr. Rangarajan begged. “Just let me go. I have a family.”
“So did the kids you’ve killed.” River paced in front of him, twirling a dagger at the end of his index finger. Blood dripped from a wound the action caused, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I’m very close to losing my patience with you. You work for Anima, and I will hear you admit it. Every time you refuse or lie, I will carve an X in your flesh. When I run out of room, I’ll carve one directly into your heart.”
Dr. Rangarajan licked his lips as he nervously eyed the crowd of onlookers. One of his eyes was swollen and discolored, and there was a lump on his jaw. He’d already been beaten, but clearly hadn’t given away any secrets.
“Where’s my brother?” Jaclyn stomped over and punched him in the gut.
Gavin grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back. She struggled for freedom, even delivering a punch to Gavin, but he never loosened his grip and finally she tired out, resting her head on his shoulder and sobbing. He ran his fingers through her hair, treating her as tenderly as he would a lost child.
River grinned at the doctor. “So,” he said, waving the blade in front of Dr. Rangarajan’s face. “Admit you work for Anima.”
The White Rabbit Chronicles Page 97