“Yep, meet ya back outside in a few minutes,” Steven tells Sam as he runs up and into our house.
“See ya in just a bit. I’m glad your first day was good,” Sam says to me before he splits off and walks over to his driveway.
4
Sam
Now
I lie here in my hotel room, staring at the white ceiling, thoughts of how I’m going to get through today going through my mind. Lauren is one of the most important people in my life, yet one of the hardest to be around. It’s the main reason I took a job in North Carolina. I couldn’t handle being around her all the time if she wasn’t mine to hold.
Touch.
To call mine.
My mind wanders again, as it has been doing lately. This time, I recall that one day, back in high school…
Sam
16 years old
I sit down on the bench and slide my helmet off as one of the student managers holds out a towel and water bottle to me. I grab both, and simultaneously take a refreshing drink as I sop the sweat from my face and neck. I’d just caught an incredible pass from Steven, running the ball in for a thirty-eight-yard touchdown and giving our team a seventeen-point lead with only four minutes left in the game.
I hear my name being called from behind me, by a voice I’d be able to pick out from any crowd.
Lauren.
I turn to find my best friend standing along the railing, a huge smile on her face as she waves at me. She turns, pointing to the back of her t-shirt that she’s decorated with my name and number. I laugh and wave back at her before returning my attention to the game in front of me.
We hold off the other team from scoring, closing out our season undefeated. We’re headed to the playoffs, but first, tonight, we’re all going out to celebrate.
After hitting the locker room for a shower and to change, I’m ready for a big juicy burger and shake from Louie’s, the dive restaurant that’s very popular in our small town.
“Hey, are you going to Louie’s tonight or just hanging out with Kristen?” I ask Steven, as we both finish getting dressed.
“I think we’ll hit it up before we ditch everyone to go find someplace quiet, if you know what I mean,” he tells me, bouncing his eyebrows up and down at me with a smirk on his face.
“Sounds good, bro. Is Lauren coming out with us?” I ask him.
“Hell if I know. I haven’t talked to her since third period. But if she does, keep an eye on her, please. I think Chad’s been trying to make a move on her.”
My stomach clenches at that thought. Chad better keep his hands off of her. He’s the biggest douche in our school, and his player reputation was well-earned.
We finally file out of the locker room and into the parking lot. It’s still pretty full of groups of students milling around as everyone makes plans for the rest of the night. I spot Lauren, leaning against my truck, talking with a few of our mutual friends.
“Hey, good game, guys,” Lauren calls out to me and Steven as we approach her. “You guys did great out there.”
“Thanks, Ren,” I tell her, giving her a one-armed hug as I sling my gear bag into the back of my truck with the other arm.
“Good job, babe,” I hear Kristen tell Steven before I hear the smack of lips colliding together.
“Are you coming out with us tonight?” I ask Lauren, quiet enough that only she can hear me.
“Yep. I’ve been looking forward to it all day,” she tells me with that giant smile on her face.
I can’t help but break out into my own huge smile.
“I’m glad you’ll be there.” I squeeze her once more before I drop my hand from her shoulder and let her go.
We end up with a huge group at Louie’s, and after finally getting to order, I find a booth that’s just being vacated and snag it for us. Lauren follows shortly behind me and sits down to my left, while Steven and Kristen take the bench across from us once they finish ordering.
The entire time we’re eating, I’m very aware of every time Lauren and I brush accidentally against each other. A small brush of our hands as we each reach for our drinks at the same time, or our hands grazing each other’s when we’ve rested them on the bench. That time, I linked our pinkies together and squeezed hers, tossing a wink her way when she looked at me with those questioning eyes of hers. Always so full of life, yet still so naive.
Steven and Kristen ditch us, and the atmosphere around us changes. Our simple touches from before, all of a sudden don’t feel so innocent.
Lauren turns toward me as I turn to her. No words are spoken between us as we both stare each other down. Our heads slowly start to move closer to each other, almost of their own accord. I reach up a hand to cup her cheek, feeling like I’m in a dream, finally about to kiss the one girl who’s always been out of reach to me.
The one girl who I’ve always wanted but could never have.
With our faces inches apart, our connection is snapped when Steven bangs on the window, effectively breaking the moment between us.
All I can do is laugh. The moment is gone; I just have to hope we get another one like it soon.
Lauren just laughs at her brother’s antics and shrugs at me when I turn back to her.
“Let’s go!” she suggests, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the booth behind her.
I let her, not only because I want to keep an eye on her tonight if she ends up at one of the parties about to go down, but because I’d follow this girl anywhere.
5
Lauren
Now
I stand in the bedroom of my grandparents’ house where I’ll be getting ready today. I look around at all the pictures from my childhood they have on display here in the room. All those amazing memories of time spent here on the farm. Even after they retired and had sold off most of the land, we still spent plenty of time here, making memories that will forever stay with me, that I hope to one day pass down to my own kids.
“Knock, knock.” My best friend and maid of honor, Zoey, opens the door and smiles at me. “How are you doing this morning?” she asks, handing me a cup of coffee.
“I’m good. Excited. Nervous. Ready to see Brad.”
“Ready to get started on your hair and makeup?”
“As ready as I’m going to get,” I tell her as I take a sip of the coffee. I hope the jolt of caffeine helps settle my nerves and this nagging feeling that just won’t go away. It’s a little unsettling, but I’m sure it’s just the nerves taking root.
“Sit down here and I’ll get started,” Zoey instructs. There are perks to having a best friend who loves both being a girly girl and her makeup. I’ve never been the girl who was obsessed with it, so I need all the help I can get on what’s going to be an important day.
Zoey pulls out her bag of makeup and sets out some items as I get comfortable in the chair she wants me in.
“Did you sleep well?” she asks as she starts by pulling my hair into a bun, so it’s out of my face and her way.
“So-so,” I tell her honestly. “After everyone turned in last night, I was just feeling so restless. I ended up going outside and sitting in the reception tent. Taking in everything and just thinking about our future.”
“Everything okay?”
I haven’t told anyone about this nagging feeling, the one where I’m about to make a mistake by marrying Brad.
“Can I tell you something that you promise not to tell anyone?”
This causes her to stop applying the foundation, and she puts down the sponge and looks me in the eye.
“Of course, you know you can always talk to me about anything.”
Exhaling, I sit up a little straighter in the chair. I bite my lip, stalling a bit longer, not really sure if I’m ready to share this worry that’s been plaguing me for a while now.
“You’re scaring me, Ren. What’s going on?”
“I’ve…” I pause, sucking in a deep breath, doing my best to calm my nerves. “I’ve had this nagging feeling the last
couple of weeks, that has progressively gotten worse these last few days. Like I’m about to make the biggest mistake of my life if I marry Brad.”
“So, like, cold feet?” Zoey asks.
“I don’t think this is just a case of cold feet. I feel it in my bones, almost. When I sat outside last night in the tent, I tried to visualize my life in one, five, hell, even twenty-five years from now, and all I see is Sam next to me. I think I need to call off my wedding. I don’t think I can marry Brad.”
“Oh, Ren,” she says, pulling me into a hug. “Are you sure? Do you want me to go find your mom so that you can talk to her for a bit?”
Tears streak my cheeks as I nod, a million thoughts running through my mind. Today is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. One that I will remember forever, tell my kids and my grandchildren about one day. I’m not supposed to be sitting here, crying my eyes out, thinking about one man while I get ready to walk down the aisle toward another.
I hear the creak of the door opening again as my mom rushes inside the room and over to me. She wraps her arms around me, and the small amount of restraint I was holding on to breaks, the flood of tears and hiccupping sobs escaping from me.
“Shhh… shhhh, Ren. Everything’s going to be okay, sweetie,” my mom tells me, as she does her best to comfort me.
It takes me a few moments to slow the sobs and regain my composure. I accept the tissues Zoey found and is handing to me. I dry my cheeks and blow my nose before looking up at both of them.
“Oh, my darling girl. What’s wrong?” my mom asks.
“That’s the million-dollar question,” I tell her, trying to lighten the mood just a bit. “I’m just worried I’m about to make a mistake.”
“It’s normal to feel scared before getting married, honey,” she tells me. “I was a nervous wreck when I married your father, and look at us now. Thirty-three years later, and we’re still madly in love with each other.”
“I know, Mom, and I love Brad, I really do. I just can’t shake that he’s not the one I should be marrying.”
“I’ll support you in anything you decide, but are you ready to make that call? Do you want to talk to him, maybe see if you can work out some of your fears?”
I suck in a shuddering breath. Am I ready to face him and possibly break his heart?
“Isn’t it bad luck for me to see him before the ceremony?”
“So what, some people say and think that, but if you’re this distraught over the decision, I’d think it’d be best to talk to him. Let him know what you’re feeling and why, and come to a decision together.”
I take in a few deeper breaths, mulling over what my mom has just suggested. I don’t know what to do. I’m at such a loss right now.
“I love Brad, I really do. It would crush him to know that I’m struggling. I just don’t think I can do that to him right now,” I say to the room, stalling as I gather my strength and pull myself together. “I’ll be fine. Let’s get back to getting ready, and I’ll be fine. I’m sure it’s just a case of cold feet.”
I sit up straighter, wiping my eyes one last time. I’m determined not to think about this nagging feeling again. Today is the happiest day of my life, and I’m going to enjoy it.
6
Sam
Now
I finally pull myself out of bed, and into the shower. My head isn’t pounding as bad as I expected it, after drinking my weight in whiskey last night.
My heart can’t take much more today, and I’m afraid my liver might not be able to either. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the ceremony today, but I have to be there to support Lauren.
As I step out of the shower, I hear my cell ringing by the bed. I wrap the towel around my waist and quickly shuffle out to grab my phone. As I pick it up, I see Steven’s name flash on the screen. I try and answer, but miss it as it rolls over to my voicemail.
I quickly click on his name to call him back, putting the call on speaker. I toss my phone back onto the bed, so I can finish toweling off and pull on some clothes. The wedding isn’t until this afternoon, so I don’t need to get my suit on this early.
“Good morning,” Steven greets me as he answers his phone. “Are you alive this morning?”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I’m alive. Not doing as bad as I thought I would be, after all the whiskey last night. I just got out of the shower, you want to grab some breakfast?”
“I was calling to ask you the same thing. Meet at the diner in thirty?”
“See ya there, man,” I tell him before he hangs up.
After I finish getting ready, I grab my wallet and stuff it in my back pocket. Picking up my phone and keys, I head to the parking lot and jump in my rental to head to the diner.
I beat Steven there, so I grab us a table; what used to be our normal one growing up. The same damn one I almost kissed Lauren in all those years ago.
I pull out the menu, not that I need to read the damn thing. It hasn’t changed in the forty-odd years this place has been open.
“Long time, no see, stranger,” Betty, one of the waitresses who has worked here as long as I can remember, says to me as she stops at the table.
I smile up at her. “Good to see you, Ms. Betty. How are you doing these days?”
“I’m good, sugar. How are you? In town for Ren’s wedding?”
“Sure am, wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I plaster a smile on my face, hoping I look and sound convincing.
“I always thought you kids would end up together.”
You and me both, I think to myself.
“Naw, we never dated. Just one of my best friends.”
“You two might have been best friends, but I saw how that girl looked at you all those years. I also noticed how you looked at her when you didn’t think anyone was watching.”
I pale, and swallow hard.
“Got anything good on special today?” I ask, hoping to change the subject.
“Today’s breakfast special is the steak and eggs, with hash browns and toast.”
“That sounds perfect. I’ll take that, with wheat toast and a large glass of OJ. Add on a side of biscuits and gravy while you’re at it. I’ve been craving them lately.”
“Coming right up. Will it just be you this morning?”
“No, Steven should be here shortly,” I tell her, just as he walks in the door. “Actually, here he is now.”
“Mornin’, sugar,” she calls out to Steven as he takes the few steps over to the table.
“Good morning, Ms. Betty,” he greets her, as he leans down to kiss her on the cheek.
“What can I get you this morning?”
“I’ll take my normal this morning, with a cup of coffee.”
“Coming right up,” she says, pivoting around and heading for the kitchen.
“Thanks, Ms. Betty,” we both call after her, getting a small wave of her hand as she puts our order ticket in the window of the kitchen.
“So, how was the rest of your night?” Steven asks me a few minutes later, as Betty sets our drinks down on the table in front of us.
“Eh, after we parted ways, I just went back to my room and crashed. I didn’t want to be too hungover today. Have you talked to her yet this morning?”
“I haven’t, I figured I’d head over to the house once we finish breakfast. Renee is still back at the house with Ethan. She was going to stay home until closer to showtime, to keep him on his normal schedule as much as possible. Do you want to head over to the house with me when we’re done here?”
“Maybe. I’ll need to head back to the hotel to grab my suit first, at least. I might also just stay away until closer to when the wedding is scheduled to start. I wouldn’t want to make an ass of myself by trying to confess my feelings before she walks down the aisle.”
Betty arrives then, with our loaded plates, and we both dig right in. The first bite that hits my tongue has me moaning at how excellent the food tastes.
“God, I missed this place,”
I say between bites. “No place I find can measure up to the food here.”
We finish our meals and after settling up with Betty, we both take off. I head for the hotel while Steven heads to his grandparents’ house.
After getting back to the hotel, I lie down on the bed and decide a short nap will be the best thing I can do to pass the time. I don’t want to do anything stupid today, so staying away from Lauren until it’s time to arrive for the ceremony will be for the best. It isn’t just her dad that will be giving her away today. The feeling of my heart being ripped from my chest is settling in, and I’m still not sure how I’m going to make it through today without standing up to object.
Sam
17 years old
“Hey, Sam! Wait up!” I hear Lauren call to me from down the senior hall. I stop walking and turn in her direction. The smile filling her face brings one to my own. She’s always been a bubbly person, but I can tell she has something to tell me.
“What’s got you all giddy, Ren?” I ask as she stops in front of me, bouncing on the balls of her feet, her curly blonde hair bouncing all around her face.
“I got, not one, but two letters today!” she practically shouts in my face, the excitement filling her voice.
“From where?” I ask, knowing exactly what she’s referring to. It’s the time of year when all of us seniors are awaiting our acceptance letters from the colleges we’ve applied to.
“University of Kentucky and Ohio State!” she exclaims.
“That’s so awesome! Do you know which one you want to pick?” I ask her as we start walking toward the parking lot.
“I’m leaning towards staying here and going to UK. That way, I not only save by paying in-state tuition, but I can also still live at home and save the cost of living in the dorms. I know I’ll miss out on the experience of the dorms, but I want to focus on my classes and schoolwork more than I want that.”
Marry Me (Lyrics and Love Book 1) Page 2