I fit my body between her thighs and guide myself to her entrance, sliding inside on one smooth thrust, causing both of us to moan. Her nipples draw up tight, flushed pink and brown even in the shadowed room. I can’t resist the impulse to take one into my mouth, teasing it with the flat of my tongue. She clenches around me and I release her to breathe deeply.
“It gets better every time,” I choke out.
Her hands lift to my cheeks and she kisses me. “It’s always good when it’s with you,” she tells me, her lips moving against mine.
“Fuuuuck,” I murmur against her, caught in the slow, wet glide. I pull back to give myself some breathing room, regain some portion of my sanity, but her hands catch at my hips and she arches hers up to meet me.
“Keep going. You feel so good.” Her voice catches as I sink back in, tipping my hips in search of the spot that makes her go crazy. “So good,” she whispers.
“We’ve got all night, baby. I promise I’ll make you feel a whole lot better.”
She giggles through another moan. “Oh, God, I don’t think that’s possible.”
I take that as a challenge. My vision flashes white as I set a steady rhythm, thrusting up to meet her hips and gliding out slowly. Her hands clutch at my back, her nails digging into my skin.
I want to draw it out, make it last, but I can’t kid myself. I’ve been gone for her for a long time. To combat the pending orgasm I can feel drawing my balls up tight, I slip a finger between us to bring her to the edge. Her legs weaken, falling open in response, her body melting beneath mine.
“Shit, shit, shit,” she whispers. “I’m gonna come.”
“Oh, yeah?” I slow my pace, watching as she tightens up, her mouth opens and she lets out a voiceless scream, offering up her throat to me. “God, baby, yes.”
I let go, following her over. My arms give and I levy my weight over her, trying not to crush her. Rational thought is drowned out by the buzzing in my ears.
I manage to get up and dispose of the condom in the bathroom and slide back into bed next to her. She turns to me automatically and fits herself to my side, resting her head on my shoulder and wrapping a thigh around my legs.
“Is that a picture of me?” she asks, propping herself up on an elbow and peering at my nightstand.
“Uh—yeah. It is.”
“Where in the world did you get that? How long have you had it?”
“Since last year,” I reply sheepishly. “I kept it with me in Afghanistan. Nicked it from your brother’s car before I left.”
“You’ve kept a picture of me with you that long?”
I swallow thickly. “Yeah.”
She relaxes back down on top of me, her hands tightening around me. My world contracts down to this house. This room. This moment.
“I love you.” The words come from a place I don’t let anyone see. The place that I’ve kept wrapped up tight since I left.
When she doesn’t respond for a second, I start wrapping us up in the sheets thinking she’d fallen asleep. Then she looks up at me, emerald eyes twinkling, and says, “I love you, too” and I know she does. A woman like Livvie doesn’t give herself easily. To anyone.
That’s really what I meant when I told her that Chad would go crazy over a woman like her.
She’s special and now that she’s mine, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let her go.
Livvie eventually agrees to let me stay at her place, though I think it’s out of sheer exhaustion for the most part.
From that moment on, I don’t leave their side. I take her to her physical therapy appointments. I take Cole to his checkups and quiz every single doctor and nurse I can get my hands on about his condition. I help Olivia feed, change, and clothe him. When she has her own appointments, I’m the one who watches him.
One morning a few weeks after our date at the cabin, I find her downstairs, a cup of coffee cradled in her hands. “Mornin’,” I say.
Her eyes flit between me and the cup. “Good morning.”
I make my own cup and sit next to her at the island bar. She shifts uncomfortably. “You’re up early.”
She nods. “I have a meeting at eight with the principal from my school to discuss going back to work next week.”
The hot coffee burns my tongue. “Next week?”
Livvie hops up from the chair. “Uh huh. Thankfully they’ve held the job for me after Cole’s diagnosis and this catastrophe. I just want things to get back to normal as soon as possible.”
“Normal.” I repeat.
“Yeah.” She returns with creamer and a toasted bagel. “The doctors have given me the go ahead to go back to work. If I have to spend another day cooped up in this house, I’m going to go crazy, Ben.”
I take a calm sip of my coffee. “Like hell you’re going back to work next week.”
Livvie looks at me with a mouthful of bagel, her eyebrows raised. Her jaw works as she swallows. “I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “What are you talking about?”
“In case you forgot, someone tried to kill you less than a month ago. They shot you. If you think I’m letting you go back to work before they’ve even caught the fucker, you’re crazy.”
She sets down her bagel carefully and splays both hands on the counter. “I can’t let this guy ruin my life. I’ve given my arm plenty of time to heal so that I can get back into working order. Cole’s healed from his surgery and ready to go back to daycare. I don’t want to let this affect our lives more than it already has. If I do that, if I go into hiding, then he wins.”
I nod. “He’ll also win if you aren’t being safe. Were you even going to tell me?”
“I’m telling you now. Besides, this is my decision, not yours.”
“I’m going to make it my business if your decisions put you in danger.”
Livvie growls in the back in her throat. “I can’t put my life on hold for things that may happen. If there’s one thing that Cole’s illness has taught me it’s that nothing is guaranteed in our future. We have to live each day to the fullest.”
“You can’t live it if you’re dead.”
“I can’t talk to you right now. You’re impossible.” She tosses her uneaten bagel in the trash and dumps her coffee in the sink.
A desperate feeling claws its way up my throat, but I force myself to calm down, to reason with her. “We need to talk about this.”
“We can talk when you’re ready to be reasonable about it. Ordering me around isn’t being reasonable. I’m glad you’re back in our lives, but I do have to get back to mine at some point.”
I swallow my retort. “The point is,” I say through my teeth, “it’s not safe for you to go back to work right now.”
She acts like she doesn’t hear me. “Okay, then. I should be back sometime this afternoon. It shouldn’t take long.”
Livvie starts heading up the stairs, but I grab her hand and turn her to face me. “Don’t think that means that this discussion is over, Olivia. We’re going to talk about it when you get back.”
She waves a hand and I take that to mean that she agrees.
Cole and I are sitting downstairs watching a movie when she flounces into the living room. I immediately take notice of the tight-as-sin pencil skirt and the white button up. The shirt is hanging from her wounded side and it’s untucked over the skirt.
Her cheeks are stained red. “Can you help me button, please?”
I lay Cole down in his vibrating chair and rise to my feet. She can’t look me in the face as I slowly do up the buttons on her shirt. By the time I reach the top, we’re both breathless.
“Thanks,” she says faintly.
I lean in, brushing her ear with my lips, then my teeth. “About this conversation that we’re going to have later. If you need extra convincing, be prepared to take it without any lip.”
“Don’t think you’re going to be able to change my mind with sex.”
“I don’t think anything,” I say with a smile, having finally gained the
upper hand. Her body sways towards me as I walk to the playpen to pick up Cole.
I’m pleased to hear that her voice isn’t so self-assured when she follows. “You sure you’re going to be okay with him? If you need anything, you can call mine or Jack’s cell. His cardiologist’s phone number is on the fridge in case you have any questions. She’s available 24/7.”
I rub the back of my hand across her check. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
She releases the breath she was holding. “I know you will. I’m just always nervous about leaving him.” She grabs her purse and gives Cole a kiss on the head. “I should be back soon. Yes—” she cuts me off before I can respond, “I promise I’ll be careful. I’m only heading there and back.”
“You better,” I whisper to her back as she walks out the front door.
I try to keep myself busy after Cole goes down for a nap. His third of the day. Unlike a completely healthy child, he tires easily. Which is okay with me, because it’s given me a lot of time to bond with him. My new favorite thing is letting him fall asleep on my lap while I watch a movie or play video games.
When the door opens and she steps through, the relief is all encompassing. As is the irritation. She bounds into the living room—as much as she can with her injured shoulder—with a huge smile on her face.
“They said I can come back on Monday. The temp they had filling my class moved to Arizona. I can’t wait to get back to my students.”
“So you’re still determined to go back, huh?”
Her smile dims a little. “Yes, and there’s nothing you can say that will change my mind. I’ve been away for far too long as it is. They can’t hold my job forever.”
“Fine, but I have some conditions.”
A laugh bubbles through her lips. “You sound like my dad.”
“The conditions are,” I talk over her, “that someone will drive you to work and pick you up each day. And you’re to stay in public places at all times.”
She crosses her arms and heaves an exaggerated sigh in my direction. “In fact, I think I had this exact conversation with him when I went off to college. You remember, right? He asked the dean if he could be my roommate in the dorms?”
Ignoring her, I say, “I’m being completely serious, Olivia.”
“Yes, Dad,” she answers with a smile.
I sigh. “This isn’t a joke.”
“Relax. It will be fine.”
“I’ll feel better when Logan’s caught the sonuvabitch,” I admit.
She snakes her arms around my waist and I hope to God that she’s right, because I know just how bad it can be when it goes wrong. And I can’t fail Olivia and Cole. Not this time.
Part 3
Olivia
“The carnival?” I say, my voice ending on a surprised note. The bright lights wash over my face. I turn to him and can’t help the slow rush of excitement that buzzes along my nerve endings. “What are we doing here?”
Cole bounces happily on Ben’s hip, also entranced by the sights before him. “To celebrate you going back to work. Plus, I figured I might as well get started on date number two.”
“Oh, so you’ve decided that I was right. It is time for me to go to work.”
He wraps an arm around me. “I’ve decided that I still like fighting with you, Spitfire. Sometimes, I may do it just to see you get all riled up.”
“I think date two is getting off to a rough start.”
He leans down to me, his lips whispering across the shell of my ear. “Then wait until you see what I’ve got planned for you later.”
I ignore the resulting warmth that spreads through my chest as we join the growing lines of people at the ticket counter. Ben contents himself with Cole’s gibberish conversations, and my heart simply melts as I watch them together. Most of the time, it’s like they’re in their own little world and I’m merely afforded the privilege of the show. I don’t mind much. Since they’ve been spending so much time together, I’ve noticed how different he is around the baby.
Out of everyone, Cole is the only one Ben devotes one hundred percent of his focus to. No matter how overwhelmed he gets or how huge the tantrum is, Ben is ever patient and attentive. They’re inseparable, and I could have never in a million years thought I’d be so lucky.
We reach the counter and I reach to get my wallet from my purse, but Ben bats away my hands and pays for the bracelets that will serve as our entry tickets. I roll my eyes at his impish grin as the attendant attaches mine.
The scent of fried food and boiled peanuts permeates the cool night air. We immediately stop to get a cup of the salty goodness, sharing it as we wander through the booths of wares and stalls of games. Ben hoists Cole on his shoulders and grabs my hand so I don’t get lost in the crush of people. For a moment, I forget everything that’s torn us apart—and the things that we have yet to discuss about our strange situation. Relationship? Whatever it is, I vow to forget about it for one night and enjoy it.
Even though Cole can hardly balance, we help him atop a miniature horse and lead him around in circles. Ben keeps him steady with one strong hand and I stand outside the gate, taking pictures of the two of them. I find myself doing that a lot these days—taking pictures. Ben laughs every time I do, insisting it’s unnecessary. But having no real mementos from my childhood makes me all the more determined to make sure Cole has more than he could possibly need. Overcompensation is the watchword for parenting, I’ve learned.
The boys return, smelling a might earthier than they did before, but both have identical grins stretched across their faces. “We’ve got a happy baby, Momma.”
I can’t help but smile back. “I see that.”
Ben straps Cole back into his stroller and turns to face me. His face is awash with the cheerful lights from the carnival rides, his smile easy, free, and unspeakably alluring. It’s the look of the man he was before he deployed for the last time. Before he took on the unbearable burdens he now shoulders on his own.
“Where to next?” he asks, breaking me from my thoughts.
There aren’t many places Cole can go, but I spot a carousel across the way and point to it. “How about that?”
Cole spots the swirling lights and makes high-pitched sounds of excitement as we near the carousel. Ben throws an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to his side. I turn, lean up and press a kiss to his stubbled cheek. He pauses in the middle of the crowd to meet my lips for a more passionate embrace.
By the time we make it over to the carousel, I’m giddy with happiness. I lift Cole from his stroller, choose an aquamarine seahorse and strap Cole on. Ben watches from a crowd of onlookers. I gesture for him to take pictures, but he shakes his head. The carousel starts moving, so I gesture more violently. He finally relents and points his phone towards us with a beleaguered expression.
We go around one turn and make it back to Ben. I manage to get Cole to pay attention for a few seconds while Ben snaps off a round of pictures before we’re out of view.
The ride winds down to a stop, and I pull an over-excited Cole off the seahorse. We buckle him back into the stroller and set out through the crowds.
“I hear there’s a petting zoo somewhere back near the horses,” I tell Ben.
“Let’s grab something to drink first. Those peanuts made me thirsty.”
Ben deftly guides the stroller through the masses until a loud sound from behind startles the both of us. Ben whirls, throwing his hands up, eyes wide and feral. I flinch at his reaction and turn to search for the noise.
A couple of kids howl, waving sparklers and fisting handfuls of bottle rockets. Their parents intervene, grabbing arms and jerking them backwards while spewing stern words.
I slip an arm around Ben’s waist and whisper, “Are you okay?” I can feel the heavy beat of his heart in his chest and his breathing is shallow. His throat bobs as he swallows thickly.
“Yeah.” His voice is hoarse. He shakes himself then returns the hug. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
We both turn back to the stroller to make our way towards the concession stand. I lean down to offer Cole some consoling words—the noise surely had to startle him, too—but the stroller is empty. My mind blanks and my stomach drops somewhere in the vicinity of my feet. I look at Ben, thinking maybe he somehow grabbed him in the commotion, but he’s looking off in the distance, his jaw tight.
“Ben, where’s Cole?” I gulp for breath, but it doesn’t help.
His head jerks to me sharply, and he turns the stroller to confirm that my nightmare is real. I twist, looking wildly through the ever-moving crowd of people, but there are so many around us I can’t even see the edge. The world reels away and the lights are no longer bright and cheerful. The crowd around us is no longer happy and friendly, but terrifying and sinister.
“Cole!” I screech, searching blindly.
Ben leaves the stroller and strides away, pushing through the people too slow to get out of his way. His eyes scan the immediate vicinity, but there’s no way he can see through the mass of people.
I spot a uniformed officer and sprint to him. “Someone took my son.”
As the officer speaks into his radio, I fumble for my phone. I scroll through, find the photo Ben took while we were on the carousel and show the officer. “This is what he’s wearing. He was in the stroller, but some kids set off some fireworks and we turned away for one second and he was gone. He’s not even a year old yet; he doesn’t even know how to unbuckle the stroller.”
The officer has me send the photo to his phone and he distributes it to God only knows who. I remember to tell him to get in touch with Logan and then I mentally check out. Fear and hopelessness feed a sucking black hole inside of me where my heart used to be.
I watch numbly as Ben talks with the officer and a small crowd of them gather around the stroller. I’d fooled myself into thinking the shooting and the break-in weren’t related. I was an idiot to think we were finally safe in our own little family bubble. If nothing else, the catastrophic events of the past year should have taught me to expect the worst.
First to Fight Box Set: Books 1-5 Page 33