Chiana quelled a strong urge to tell him how much she had missed him, knowing that it would mean nothing to him. She longed to pour out her feelings, even if they were rebuffed, but he already knew what she felt. He had not cared then, nor would he now.
Instead, she said, "I thought I would never see you again."
"Nor would you, if not for that damned messenger of yours. Too clever for his own good."
Chiana bowed her head to hide the tears that burnt her eyes, determined to show no weakness. He hurt her without even thinking about it, and his offhand manner only made it worse. She moved to the table where he stood and poured herself a cup of wine, giving herself time to regain her poise, then turned to him with a brittle smile when she found him eyeing her.
"I knew you would come."
"Did you now? I doubt that, somehow."
"I hoped and prayed."
"That is more like it."
Now that she stood close to him, she was surprised to find that he was not as tall as she remembered. Casting her mind back, she recalled that she had mostly seen him in the company of Minna-Satu, who was diminutive. He had stood half a head taller than Minna, but was only a few inches taller than his wife. In her memory he had grown in stature, but in reality he was a slender man of slightly less than medium height.
Chiana's eyes drifted to the hand that held the goblet, his long fingers scarred by tiny white lines that were a legacy of dagger-throwing lessons in his youth. A shiver went through her as she remembered how Cotti torturers had mangled his hand on the day he should have died. No trace remained of the broken fingers, but his chest would still bear the scars of the burns they had inflicted. She wondered if he still limped, and glanced up to find him studying her, making her avert her eyes from his frigid gaze.
"Have I grown old, while you have not?" she enquired.
"You were very young before. Now we are on a par, I suppose."
"Do you still find me pretty?"
He frowned. "I do not recall ever telling you that, and if you are fishing for compliments you have found an empty pool."
She winced at the rebuff. "You have stayed fit. Do you still dance?"
"On occasion. I doubt that I could defeat Swift now."
"I doubt that Swift can still dance."
Blade smiled in his sweet, heartrending way, an expression that sent thrills through her, even though it did not reach his eyes. She remembered its power, and how he used it as a weapon rather than a reward. She turned away, shaken.
"Would you like something to eat? My maids await in my bedchamber. I can send one to bring you a meal."
"No." His gaze raked her dress. "Why do you dress in widow's weeds? I did not know I was dead."
"They are not widow's weeds. I just see no reason to dress up."
"No wonder they call you the Grey Virgin. Never have I seen such an ugly gown."
"I am wed to a sacred Knight of the Veil, I must dress conservatively."
"Do you want people to pity you?" He shook his head. "I must be the richest man in Jashimari, and my wife dresses like a damned pauper."
Chiana raked his drab, worn outfit with a scathing glance. "And will you follow your own advice, My Lord?"
"I do not have to. I am neither a woman nor the Regent, and what is more, I do not live in this god-awful palace. I thought women took pleasure in wearing expensive gowns and jewels?"
"Only when there is someone to admire them." He raised a sceptical eyebrow, and she added, "Someone whose admiration they seek."
"Ah." He smiled. "Well, here I am."
"Had I known of your arrival, My Lord, I would have donned a more suitable gown for the occasion."
Blade chuckled, revealing even white teeth in a rare grin. "Ah, Chiana, you play the dutiful wife so well."
"Do I? It must be a gift, for I have had little practice."
"Indeed it must, or perhaps the years of berating me in your mind have honed your sharp tongue."
"Indeed, My Lord." She returned his smile, aware that her sorrow shone in her eyes, and made no effort to hide it, for it was no secret. "And now that you have returned, I can sharpen it further."
His smile vanished, and he swung away. "I think not. Let us get down to business, shall we?"
"Now? It is late, and I am quite tired. Can it not wait until morning?"
"Will it take so long to tell me?"
"No, but the argument afterwards will take the rest of the night."
Blade put his goblet down on the table. "Then I shall give you my answer now. No."
"Wait!" Chiana raised a hand as he headed for the window. "Please, Blade. I will tell you now."
He returned and collected his goblet before sinking down on a cushion. Chiana glanced towards her bedchamber, where her maids still waited.
"I will dismiss my maids, since I have no time to bathe now. There is no point in making them wait all night."
Turning her back on him, she tugged the cord that would summon her maids. At least he was willing to listen, which might mean he would help, or it might be simple curiosity. She hoped it was the former.
One of her maids arrived in answer to her summons, and stopped short when she spied Blade. Her eyes widened, then darted to the Regent, who smiled.
"It is all right, Resha. You and Skeril may retire. I have business to discuss, which will take some time "
The maid bobbed and withdrew, with a lingering glance in Blade's direction.
"In a few minutes the palace will be rife with gossip about your new lover," he commented.
"As soon as she describes you, most will know the truth. Shall I have Arken find you some more suitable clothes?"
"I will not be here long enough to change."
Chiana sank down on a cushion, fighting the urge to shout that he had only just arrived. He watched her with narrowed eyes, as if expecting such a reaction. The tension between them filled the air with invisible sparks. Blade sipped his wine, allowing the suspense to build for a while before he broke it.
"From your message, I assume that a Cotti prince, presumably Endor, plans to threaten your young charge. This is easily prevented, if not by you, then by Kerrion."
"Yes, it would be, but the situation is far worse than that, and without your help it will be a disaster." She studied her hands. "Three tendays ago, I received a letter from Kerrion. His wife has been kidnapped, and for her safe return, Endor has demanded to visit Kerra. Kerrion suspects that Endor plans to take Kerra hostage and rule Jashimari, perhaps even declare himself Regent. Once she is in his power, no one will be able to stand against him without endangering her. Kerrion has instructed me to send Kerra into hiding until he can free his wife."
"Sounds reasonable enough." Blade did not look particularly shocked or outraged, but then, he had always professed not to care about anything or anyone.
Chiana kept her voice firm and steady. "But sending Kerra out into the world is dangerous. Should anything happen to her, Jashimari would be thrown into an uproar, and if Endor declares himself King, it will be war. I need someone who can guard her well and make her disappear completely, so Endor cannot find her."
"A group of your elite veterans should be ideal."
"No. Kerra is... headstrong. She could order them to do something stupid, and they could not refuse her. She is the Queen."
"You mean she is a spoilt brat."
Chiana sighed. "It is difficult to raise a child who cannot be punished, and whose only parent rules another kingdom."
"And you think I am going to spirit away this uppity young girl and guard her from the lecherous advances of every lout who claps eyes on her, in addition to hiding from Endor's search parties. What sort of fool do you take me for?"
"If Endor captures her..." She forced herself to meet his eyes. "Shamsara's prediction will come true. The streets of Jondar will run with blood. Only you can stop it. That is why he saved you. When you were dying, he saw a future steeped in blood. He said it is your destiny to prevent this, and
when he had saved you, he told me that the future was changed, the blood gone from it.
"So I know you will help me in the end, no matter how much you argue against it now. You did not have to come here. You could have disappeared again as easily as you did before, and it was not mere curiosity that drove you here. You are the instrument, and fate has not finished with you yet."
Blade's eyes narrowed while she spoke, and his hand tightened on the goblet. "Fate will not use me again. I told you so before I left."
"I remember. But perhaps you have no choice in the matter."
"If you believe that, you are a fool." Blade rose to his feet in a smooth motion, banging the goblet down on the table. "I want no part of this. I will not be a pawn in this game of queens and princes."
Chiana rose to face him, lifting her chin in her most regal manner. "You cannot stand by and watch war tear this kingdom apart. Endor will stamp out any rebellion. A Cotti prince will rule us. If Kerrion tries to intercede, his wife will die, and once Kerra is Endor's hostage, Kerrion will be placing her life in danger too. Our lives depend upon you. If nothing else, will you not stand by your promise to me?"
"What promise is that?"
"You swore to avenge my death."
He frowned. "And who do you think is going to kill you?"
"Endor. Once he has captured the Queen, or perhaps before, he must dispose of me. He will make himself ruler, but, as the former Regent, I will be a threat he cannot ignore. Minna-Satu appointed me. I represent her wishes, and the loyal lords will rally to me. My continued existence will encourage them to rebel."
"Then I shall avenge you. It will be easier than dealing with a pig-headed young Queen."
The blood drained from Chiana's cheeks, and she swayed, putting out a hand to steady herself. "You will let me die?"
He stepped closer. "Have I ever led you to believe that I care whether or not you live?"
"Yes."
"A moment of weakness, then." He turned away, then swung back, clearly agitated, his brow furrowed. "I should never have made you such a promise."
"But you did, and you cannot keep it."
"How so?"
"If you do, Kerrion's wife will die. From his letter, I gather that she is important to him. A sentiment I applaud, but one that puts all of us in danger. What will he do if she is killed?"
Blade refilled his goblet. "How should I know? He is a damned Cotti."
"Then why is she so important to him? Why does he not have many wives as all his forefathers did?"
"Because he is a damned fool, and he claims to love her." Blade snorted. "We would all be better off if such an emotion did not exist."
Chiana nodded. "Perhaps. But it does, and if Kerrion feels it for his wife, then her death will bring an even greater disaster, should he seek to avenge it. He will be executed for high treason, and Endor will dispose of Kerrion's sons so he will inherit. Then he will appoint one of his brothers to rule Jashimari. All that Minna-Satu sought to avoid will come to pass."
"You think I care?"
Desperation drove her to step forward and grip his arms, feeling the daggers strapped to his wrists through his sleeves. "You do. I know you do. You do not want the Cotti to rule Jashimari, you hate them. You almost died to protect Kerra from Armin."
"I wanted to die." He glared at her, his face taut with anger. "Shamsara had no right to save me. It was my choice, not his."
"But you saved me, even as you lay dying, and no one paid you to do that."
"Any excuse to kill a Cotti prince. Are you offering me another chance to do that?"
"Perhaps."
He shook her off and turned to pick up his goblet. "I am retired."
"She is Minna-Satu's daughter, and I know you loved the Queen. You cannot allow Kerra to suffer."
"I have loved no one since my family died. She will not be killed."
"She is just a child, and she is your Queen. Endor will humiliate and beat her, perhaps make her his concubine and ravish her. Will you stand by and allow the future that Minna-Satu died for to be destroyed?"
Blade whirled with a growl of rage and flung the goblet across the room in a spray of blood-red wine. It skittered along the floor with a shrill clatter of silver on stone, coming to rest against the far wall. Closing the gap between them in a stride, he took hold of her shoulders so hard that she yelped, thrusting his face close to hers.
"Why me?" he shouted. "Have I not done enough? Must you ever drive me to do your will with my hatred of the Cotti?"
The apartment's doors flew open with a bang, making him release her and spin around as her guards burst in, spears lowered. Blade growled a foul curse, and Chiana swung to intercept the guards with an imperious gesture.
"Leave us!"
"My lady -"
"I said leave us, now!"
With a snarl, Blade scooped up the wine bottle and hurled it at the men. It bounced off one, spraying wine over them, and smashed on the floor. "Get out!" he bellowed. "Can I have a decent damned argument with my wife without being interrupted, just once?"
The guards stared at him, stunned. Then one bowed, while the other mopped wine from his eyes, his mouth open.
"My Lord... We were concerned for the Regent."
"I may kill her yet, but the likes of you will not stop me! Out!"
The men retreated, and Blade paced in a circle, his hands clenched, as if he longed for more ammunition to throw. Chiana glanced at an expensive vase on a table near the window, hoping it did not catch his eye. He strode up to her, making her step back in trepidation. His hands flashed out and gripped the front of her dress, as if she was the next object to be flung. Instead he yanked her closer, until they were nose to nose.
"You are trying to use me." His voice was low and filled with anger. "Minna did it, damn her, but you are not she! If Shamsara thinks I can save Jashimari again, let him seek me out and tell me himself. She was my Queen, but you are not!"
"But Kerra is," Chiana murmured, reaching up to clasp his hands, her breath catching at his proximity and her heart pounding from the fright he had just given her. Being around Blade was always electrifying. He filled a room with his strange, bittersweet charisma that was exciting, frightening and perversely comforting.
He thrust her away and turned his back on her. "Minna-Satu paid an assassin to kill her enemies. She rewarded me with gold, lands and titles. Now there is nothing more I want, and I am no longer an assassin for hire."
"I am not asking you to kill anyone, only to protect your Queen for a short time, perhaps only a few days. How long will it take a king to find his wife?"
"In the desert?" Blade turned and snorted. "Perhaps moons. You should be helping him to search, instead of hiding Kerra."
"Endor will be here in a few days."
Blade swung away, and Chiana looked down at her twisting hands, praying that he considered her request. The silence stretched unbearably, and she forced herself to break it, lest he leave because she seemed to have nothing more to say.
"You are the Lord Protector of Jashimari, Blade. Minna-Satu trusted you above all others when she appointed you to that position. One that had been vacant for generations. It is the highest office in the land, other than the Queen herself or her Regent, and it bestows upon you tremendous powers and responsibilities.
"You are able to do whatever is necessary to protect Jashimari, even to overrule the Queen in a crisis. For this reason, the post has been conferred upon only a select few over the years. As a sacred Knight of the Veil, you are also a priest of Tinsharon, and charged with the protection of the church. Endor will replace our priestesses with priests and defile the temples with their domination."
Blade had turned to face her during her monologue, his brows lowered over blazing eyes. She knew how he disliked being reminded of his titles, but persevered, determined not to let his furious expression cow her.
"The Lord Protector is the only one who can control our young Queen and overrule her without being guilty
of treason. That is why I need you to hide her, not just because you are a former assassin and the Queen's Blade, or because of Shamsara's prediction. I cannot force you to do this, but I beg you, Conash. Jashimari needs you."
"And you think any of that means anything to me?"
She bowed her head in despair. "I had hoped."
"Then you are mistaken."
Chiana covered her face and rubbed her aching eyes, the weight of intense fatigue and anguish bowing her shoulders. She longed to lie down and sleep, to forget all the kingdom's troubles that were piled upon her like great rocks, crushing her spirit and making her ill with worry. When she looked up, Blade was gone, and she allowed herself the luxury of venting her pent-up emotions in a storm of weeping, as she had not done since he had left her fifteen years ago.
Chapter Five
The next morning, Chiana woke tired and puffy-eyed. Her maids toiled for a time-glass to hide the signs of strain on their mistress' face, which had grown worse every day. When they were finished, she was pale, powdered and frail looking, but they had hidden most of the damage from her bout of weeping. She picked at her breakfast, her stomach a tense knot now that Blade had refused to help. Only now did she realise how much she had been counting on him, and with his refusal came a whole host of fresh worries.
After breakfast, she made her way to her study to face a new batch of reports and requests from far-flung officials. She sank down behind her desk and stared at the pile, a part of her wishing that last night's encounter had only been a dream, and Blade would appear to spirit the Queen away and solve her problems. Her imagination conjured him vividly, his lips curved in one of his soft, entrancing smiles, his silver eyes filled with pity.
That, she had glimpsed in them only once, and she could not imagine any softer emotion thawing their frigid depths. She recalled the ball that had celebrated Kerra's birth, and the brief moment of near tenderness she had shared with him then. It was one of the memories she treasured, and often summoned up on lonely nights to fill her dreams with his presence. Over the years, he had grown far warmer in her dreams, and experiencing anew the cutting lash of his bitter tongue had thrown icy water over her fantasies.
The Queen's Blade IV - Sacred Knight of the Veil Page 5