“I should, um, thank you for your help, my lord.”
“Jasper,” he reminded her through gritted teeth.
She must have picked up on his annoyance. “Yes. Jasper.”
He shouldn’t feel annoyed. In fact, he wasn’t even sure why he was annoyed. He’d offered to come with her and he had an interest in finding Emma—as soon as possible. Hettie really had no idea the trouble her sister could be in.
Jasper supposed concern for her sister was beginning to eat into him. When they were on the train he could at least be assured they would be on the hunt for her in a few short days. Now they had quite a journey ahead of them. If they didn’t get to Emma and something happened to her, he would never forgive himself.
He should have done more for her, offered more. She was a frightened, vulnerable young woman who had been taken advantage of.
And, in some ways, he’d been quite looking forward to helping her. It would have been a challenge to be sure.
Why had she not come to him if she needed more aid?
“You really did not need to help me, and I am grateful,” Hettie continued and he suspected she’d been rattling on for some time while he’d been pondering his idiocy and concentrating on not dropping her hat box.
Of course, Hettie had no idea quite how involved in her family he was going to become in future. And if Emma had stayed put, no one would have had any idea. Emma could have gone back to enjoying her youth and Jasper...well, he would have endured all the gossip and speculation and embarked on a new challenge in life. Hopefully he still would if they caught up with Emma.
“Well, I have little else to occupy my time,” he said blithely.
“I suppose not, though you seem to keep yourself occupied well enough.”
He swung a glance her way. “You talk of my antics that take up much print in the papers, I suppose.”
Hettie looked at the ground for a moment. “Well, I know little else of you.”
“I hardly read the ladies’ pages, so I cannot comment on what you might find there. Some is likely true and some is most likely exaggerated.”
“You do not care that people find your behaviour scandalous?”
“I learned long ago not to care for what others thought.”
“It seems a selfish way to live,” she said quietly.
Jasper hefted the hat box back under his arm. “Why should I answer to anyone but myself?”
“Well...what of all the women? I should imagine you have broken many hearts.”
“What if they have broken mine?”
She shot a surprised look his way before lifting her chin and eyeing the long, winding lane. “I don’t think any woman has ever touched your heart.”
“You might be right. But these women know full well what they are getting into. I have those rags that pass for newspapers to thank for that. I make no apologies for my behaviour. Life is about seizing opportunities and I can think of no better way of passing my days than in the arms of a beautiful woman. The human connection, Hettie, is powerful indeed and if we do not make use of it, we might as well be no more than barbarians.”
She eyed him incredulously. “You are saying that if we do not...” she waved a hand about, “spend time with the opposite sex in, well, bed that we are no better than animals?”
“Animals have sex. Humans make love. It is our duty as the superior beings on this planet to explore all the world has to offer.”
“You’re telling me that every woman you have bedded, you made love to?”
The colour in her cheeks increased with every word.
“I might not have loved them but I treated them far better than they have ever been. To create a mutually pleasurable and memorable experience with another is, to my mind, an excellent way to pass one’s time on this world.”
Hettie let out an audible breath. “It is a selfish way.”
“When I was a boy, my oldest brother, Julian, grew very sick. I was only young but I realised then how short life was. I’m grateful for that lesson.”
“But you could be doing so many other things. Charitable work, real work.” She paused, forcing him to slow his pace and turn toward her. “You write, do you not?”
“I do.” He shifted the hat box to his other arm. “How do you know that?”
“Well, you do not use a penname so I can hardly think it is some great secret. But I saw your name in a book on your desk.”
“In my spare time, I write for journals. What of it?”
“I would have to believe you are a man of intellect. You disguise it in some ways, though I do not comprehend why, but it is clear you are a thinking man. Why not use that to solve some of the problems of the world?”
He supposed he ought to be flattered. Few people saw him as anything more than a rogue and he didn’t care enough about their opinion to try to change it. Somehow, Hettie saw more than that. It was strange indeed.
However, her disapproval of his lifestyle rankled somewhat. Yet again, he couldn’t understand why her opinion bothered him.
Jasper shook his head to himself and continued up the road. It was carved deep with grooves from carriages and the occasional puddle was left over from previous days’ rain. He had to watch his step while juggling their luggage, giving him a moment to move their conversation away from him.
“What of you? What do you do with your time?”
“I am no lady of leisure if that is what you mean. I know Emma plays it well in spite of our humble circumstances.”
“Your father is quite respected, I had heard.”
“We do well enough and live comfortably, but that does not make me work-shy,” she replied primly.
“And what exactly do you do for work?”
“I help at the local orphanage.”
“Ah, admirable indeed.”
“I don’t do it for admiration.”
“No, I imagine you do it for the warm, fuzzy feeling.”
She opened her mouth and shot a fiery look at him that almost sent his toes curling into his boots. Hettie Foster was quite the woman. Thank the Lord she wasn’t armed with her umbrella. But then her gaze narrowed at him.
“You’re teasing me.”
He let his lips twist. “A little. It doesn’t hurt to let yourself smile every now and then, Hettie.”
“I smile.”
“I must make you very miserable indeed then for I’m not sure I’ve seen a single smile from you.”
“You do not make me miserable,” she admitted. “You confuse me.”
Jasper peered at her and saw her clamp her mouth shut. She hadn’t meant to admit to that, he suspected. The truth was, however, she confused him too, so he could well sympathise.
“You need to learn to enjoy yourself,” he declared to cover up her admission.
This incited the reaction he’d expected. The stiffening of her shoulders and pinching of her lips. “I do enjoy myself. In fact, I—”
“Let’s stop at this farmhouse and see if they have a carriage we can borrow.”
She paused to stare at the large farmhouse near the end of the lane as if she hadn’t even noticed its existence. Jasper didn’t know what he’d been thinking, riling her up. It had been fun for a while. Now, he was not so sure.
Now, not only did he wish to loosen those corset laces and set her free, but he wanted to do more. Make her smile, hear her laugh.
Bloody hell, this wouldn’t do.
A young woman answered the door when they called at the farmhouse and she sent them out to her husband, who was in the field. The farmer led them to the side of the barn when they explained their predicament.
He motioned to the cart. “It’s not exactly fancy but she’ll get you there safely.”
Jasper eyed the vehicle. It was basic and the ride wouldn’t be comfortable. And they would be exposed to the elements. But the farmer was right. The wheels looked to be in good condition and it would survive the journey.
The man named his price for the cart and a
horse and Jasper handed over the coin with a thanks. By the time they were ready to leave, it was past lunchtime, so the farmer’s wife wrapped up some bread and cheese for them to eat on the way and they were offered directions to the next inn.
“I hope it doesn’t rain,” Hettie said fearfully, glancing at the clouds.
Not a spot of blue was in sight but the clouds remained white. “We’ll be fine,” he said confidently.
Naturally, the weather wanted to prove him wrong. By late afternoon a light drizzle began to coat them and the reassuringly white clouds had turned gun-metal grey. With one hand, Jasper unbuttoned his coat and draped it over Hettie.
“Will you not get cold?”
He shook his head. “You’re more delicate than I am.”
“I am not delicate.”
“Hettie, I have little intention of seeing you wet and ill.”
“But it is true. I’ve never been delicate. I don’t fall ill which is why I started working at the orphanage in the first place. I could look after the poorly children without fear for my health.”
“Your parents must have had a lot of faith in you to risk your health like that.”
“Mama says I am sturdy and that means I am not prone to illness.”
He couldn’t resist sweeping his gaze over what he could see of her figure under his jacket. Sturdy was not how he would describe her. Sumptuous? Yes. Delicious? Definitely. Sturdy? No.
The rain grew heavier, preventing him from doing anything other than concentrating on keeping the cart on the road and swiping the water from his eyes. When the sight of a white cottage greeted them in the distance, he gave a sigh of relief. The wavering sign just visible on the outside of the building told him it was the inn to which they’d been directed.
He navigated the cart to the stables and handed Hettie down. The stable hand took care of the horse and vehicle while another young lad offered to carry their luggage. Thank the Lord he didn’t have to juggle that hat box anymore.
“Let us get inside,” he called to Hettie over the increasing rain before striding toward the doorway. He paused when he realised she wasn’t directly behind him and turned to see her tugging up her skirts and doing some odd sort of dance in the rain. Had she become so wet that she’d sickened? Was she delusional? Realisation struck and he couldn’t help release a laugh. Her boot was stuck in the thick mud outside the inn.
Jasper strode over. “Are you stuck?”
“Well, yes!”
“Do you mind if I...” He tapped her leg.
“No, go ahead.”
He curled a hand around her leg and tugged hard. Her boot slipped off and she nearly toppled back. Hettie flung her arms around his neck to prevent a fall and near strangled him. He bent to retrieve her boot but he somehow ended up juggling her and the boot when her feet went from underneath her.
“Hettie, you’re strangling me,” he gargled.
“Oh.” She released her grip a little and almost spilled to the muddy ground again.
Jasper finally settled her into his arms while her muddy boot hung from one finger. It took him a moment to register that she was strewn across his hold and curled into him. He gulped.
And when he glanced down at her, she beamed up at him, a smile teasing her lips. He couldn’t help it. He laughed. And she laughed. And they laughed all the way to the entrance of the inn until he placed her down.
She swiped a few tears of laughter from her eyes and grinned at him. “Thank you for saving me.”
He handed over her shoe. “And your boot.”
“And my boot,” she conceded. “We are most grateful. I do seem to get myself into pickles these days.”
“You do indeed. It’s a fine job I do not mind rescuing you.”
“It is,” she said softly. Her smile wavered and softened but lingered in her eyes.
The rain had ruined the feathers on her hat. Strands of her hair stuck to her face and raindrops glistened on her skin. She was an enchanting mix of disaster and beauty. Jasper turned away before he could admire her any longer.
“Let us get a room.”
Chapter Eight
A fire blazed in the hearth of the room. Hettie sat herself by it and draped her hair over her shoulder to do her best to dry it. The room was pleasant and reminded her a little of home. A slanted roof and small cottage window added a cosy feel to it and the linens were a floral print, similar to that favoured by her mother.
As she dried her hair, she spotted some flecks of mud she’d missed when washing and couldn’t help smiling. It had been ridiculous, being caught up in the mud and practically juggled by Jasper. She should have been embarrassed—she was a little, in truth—but the absurdity of it all had overtaken her and she couldn’t help but laugh. Then he had laughed too and looked at her in a way that even now made her stomach tighten.
He was probably right. Hettie reached over for her comb and ran it through her tangled hair, wincing as she did so. She didn’t smile or laugh enough. It had felt so good to laugh. Dealing with the orphans and her busy life in the village which often included nursing sick people and running errands and generally having no time to find something to laugh about, had left her tightly wound and unable to find amusement in things. But, for some reason, today had been different.
Hettie ought to find a way to thank Jasper. Without him, she’d be back in London or trapped in mud or walking to Edinburgh. She would thank him somehow, and she’d also prove to him—and herself—that she could smile. This journey could be her chance to discover fun once more. After all, who better to find amusement with than a rogue like Jasper? If anyone knew how to have fun it was him. Emma would remain her priority but would it hurt if she laughed a little on the way?
When her hair was about dry, she rubbed off the remaining flecks of mud, dressed and did her hair in a simple knot. It was far from an elegant hairstyle but it was practical and without the help of a maid, she wouldn’t be able to do much more. She spritzed on a little perfume—her one indulgence. While she prided herself on having little vanity, there had always been something slightly appealing about wearing a decadent scent, as though one part of her could be bold and daring.
Hettie paused to look in a slightly tarnished mirror. She no longer looked drowned which was a fine thing, but did she look pretty? She didn’t think so. Just...normal.
Oh well.
Heading downstairs, she followed the scent of herbs and meat. She found herself in a public room where Jasper was leaning against the bar. Waiting for her?
His eyes lit when he saw her and he headed over. “Come, there is a private dining room this way.” He took her hand in a move that seemed entirely unconsidered and led her into the private room. What would people think of them? Would they think they were engaged? Married? Lovers? All of those titles sent a trickle of excitement down into her belly for some strange reason.
The beams were low and Jasper had to duck to avoid them. In the centre of the room, a table large enough for eight was set for the two of them. Hettie was grateful they hadn’t been placed at either end and instead opposite one another. Silly, she knew, but for some reason, her dislike of this man was waning quickly. She tried to summon up memories of the lady with whom he had been riding or his collection of women’s dresses, but nothing worked to make her annoyed with him.
Especially when he was still holding her hand, the large warmth of it protective and comforting around her fingers.
He led her over to her seat and pulled out the chair for her as though they were dining somewhere exclusive. She couldn’t help but smile at his gentlemanly manners. It was the first time he’d really behaved like anything other than an utter rogue around her. She liked it.
“What is it?” he asked as he sat.
“I’ve never seen you behave like a gentleman.”
“I am a gentleman,” he reminded her.
“In breeding, not in manners.”
“Well, I was never trying to charm you. I can be a gentleman when I choo
se.”
“So you’re trying to charm me now?”
A furrow appeared between his brows. “You’ve had a long day, Hettie. I have no intention of making it harder on you. I do have some manners, you know.”
“That’s not...I mean...oh...” Hettie gave up and took a long drink of wine before pouring more of the drink from the jug. The red wine was dry and a little stale but she needed it if she was going to survive this evening. This man confused her beyond all reason.
And, of course, she had hoped that maybe, just maybe, he was trying to charm her.
Never mind, the wine would quell her disappointment. She took another hefty swig.
“Be careful. Country wine can be much stronger if it’s been home-brewed.”
“I am a country girl, remember? You might think me so prim that I never touch the stuff, but I am allowed it at home and when we dine out.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
They lapsed into silence and she almost longed for him to be making comments about how ugly her dress was or something equally brash and rude. When the dinner was finally brought out, they tucked into the meat pie as if they hadn’t eaten in days.
Hettie’s stomach did indeed grumble at the sight of thick pastry and meat in gravy. The cheese and bread from earlier hadn’t done much to sustain her, and the soaking had increased her appetite. She continued to drink the wine until a nice, warm sensation flowed through her veins. Every time she lifted her glass, Jasper gave her a disapproving stare, which made her want to drink more.
So she did, until her head began to spin a little and everything seemed very amusing. A giggle slipped from her.
“What is it now?” he asked, exasperation in his voice.
“You look very...stern.” She leaned back as steaming puddings were brought out. “It makes a change.”
“Because you are the one who is normally disapproving of me?”
“Exactly.”
“You should not be drinking so much, Hettie.”
“Do I not deserve it after the time I’ve had recently?”
“As I said, you should let yourself have a little fun but that shouldn’t involve drinking all the wine in Yorkshire.”
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