Murmuration
Page 9
Can miracles happen apart from in the Bible? After what happened happened I asked Father Michael and he said that miracles happen every day but people don’t realise. Then I said if people didn’t realise what was the point in the miracle happening in the first place and Father Michael said asking questions spoils everything and told me not to wear out my brain. I know I didn’t see Jesus unless he had changed into the starlings. It’s funny because I don’t ask questions about anything else important. I ask what we’re having for tea and things like that but not miracles. I’ve never found a proper answer so I still don’t know. I don’t know why it happened on the pier. I don’t know why it happened to me. I don’t know how I knew what to do and I don’t know how the starlings did it. Later in the war when we didn’t have any planes to watch I asked Norman and Mitch and Taffy about it because they were there too. Norman said it was just a coincidence and Taffy said so too but Mitch wasn’t so sure. He reckoned there was more going on in the world than just the stuff we can see. Mitch said that a man called Einstein had discovered that time is bendy like rubber. Mitch reckoned that if you could make different bits of time bend and touch then you would end up with two times in the same place. I like thinking of time being bendy. If I’d known how to bend time I would have told Pa not to fight in the Battle of Estaires then the mud wouldn’t have turned red. I did save Ma though so that’s something.
You don’t think about the war happening at the seaside do you? It doesn’t seem to fit. Like the ack-ack gun on the pier or the barbed wire on the beach. They don’t go together. It makes everything seem like a dream. I didn’t dream the miracle though. The story was in the paper with a picture of me that Uncle Walter took ages ago. Ma cut the picture and words out and I stuck it in my diary. The paper is all yellow now but it still shows that I didn’t make it up. I hope people read it in a hundred years.
Up until Christmas me and Norman and Mitch and Taffy had been really busy because Fucking Adolf was sending loads of bombers. They didn’t come right over us but went past on their way to cities so Taffy was on the radio just about nonstop and my arms nearly felt like falling off after watching the bombers through my binoculars for hour after hour. I remember me and Ma going to the pictures and seeing the Pathé newsreel which showed all the broken houses and shops and factories. Ma leaned close and whispered, you make sure our boys know where these bastards are, Michael. Ma didn’t say words like that very often so I was shocked but proud at the same time.
After Christmas Fucking Adolf must have decided to bomb somewhere else instead so we sat on the pier and drank loads of Taffy’s tea and listened to Tommy Handley on the radio. One day Norman and me had a nosy round the theatre. We looked in the rooms where the people in the acts got dressed. I sat on a chair and looked in the mirror and pretended to put some lipstick on like Ma does before she goes to the pub. There weren’t any light bulbs round the mirror, just the light from the corridor, so you could only see one side of my face. Because I had my blue overalls on you couldn’t see my body either so there was just half my face hanging in the darkness with nothing to hold it up. Just then I heard a bump or something out in the corridor. I looked to see if it was Norman but I didn’t see anything so I turned back and that was when I saw the ghost. It was another face in the mirror right next to mine. A sad face of a man about the same age as Uncle Walter but he looked more old fashioned like the people in those black-and-white films where everything moved faster. My heart was beating really fast. I thought he was looking at me but then I realised he was just looking in the mirror. Just staring and staring as though he was trying to make up his mind about something. I dared to look sideways but of course there was nothing there and when I looked back the ghost had gone so I went to find Norman. After we’d looked in the rooms we went down the stairs. At the bottom was a door with a sign on it that said Quiet! Stage Access Authorised Personnel and Performers Only in important writing. I wasn’t sure me and Norman were authorised and we certainly weren’t performers but Norman had the keys to everywhere in the theatre so he unlocked the door and in we went. It was really dark and it smelled of ghosts. I didn’t see any but they were there alright. Perhaps they were the ghosts of acts who didn’t want to stop. Me and Norman squeezed past big pieces of wood with the insides of houses painted on them and then we came out onto the stage. Someone had left the curtains up so we could see all the chairs looking at us. Hundreds and hundreds of red chairs. I felt like they were waiting for us to do something and that was just the empty chairs so I couldn’t imagine what it was like when the theatre was full of people. Really frightening I reckon. Norman must have felt it too because he did a sort of bumping and shuffling dance with his boots banging on the stage making little clouds of dust and then he held out his arms and said thank you folks. His words just sort of vanished like the theatre had swallowed them up. Come on Mickey, let’s go for a brew, Norman said and I agreed because stood on that stage I felt like what Taffy calls a sitting duck.
When we were back in the observation post I told the boys about the ghost in the dressing room and Mitch said it might have been the comedian from the olden days who hung himself under the pier. What was his name? I asked but Mitch couldn’t remember; he just knew it was right under this pier. Mitch said his nanna was a little girl and she was riding her bike down the prom and saw the police cutting the man down. Mitch said his nanna said the police cut through the rope and then just let him fall down onto the beach without trying to catch him. She said she knew he was dead already but she always remembered thinking the police weren’t very kind not trying to catch him.
I remember everything that happened that night like I was sitting at the Regal watching a film though with me in it rather than Errol Flynn. It happened on the third of February 1941.
That day didn’t seem any different to begin with. Well no, that isn’t quite right because when I got up in the morning and came out onto the landing to go for a wee Uncle Walter was just coming out of Ma’s room and he was tucking his shirt in and he looked like he was in a rush. I suppose it was because Aunty Irene had gone to see her sister for the night because she was poorly and Uncle Walter had to cook breakfast for all the guests. There were only three of them though. One man selling vacuum cleaners and a soldier with a girl who I saw putting her wedding ring on outside the hotel. I told Ma about the girl putting her ring on and she said not to tell Aunty Irene or Uncle Walter and to let the kids have some fun because there wasn’t much of it about.
After breakfast I helped Uncle Walter wash the car which is his pride and joy though he doesn’t drive it very far because of the rationing. Then I helped Ma wind some wool for her knitting. I went for a walk round the park in the afternoon then had a snooze before getting ready for my shift. Ma made me some sandwiches to go with Taffy’s terrible tea and then it was off to the pier with my overalls and hat with OC painted on it. Just a normal day. No clues about what was going to happen. I even saw some starlings in the park but they were just hopping about. I wonder if they looked at me and knew what was going to happen?
When I got to the pier I saw John on the barrier talking to two LDV men. John nodded at me and said evening Micky. Jerry paying us a visit tonight? I looked up at the sky. It’s funny isn’t it how we look for the answers to questions as though they’re written on the sky or the sea or mountains. I don’t know John, I said, but if he does I’ll know what he’s flying in. John and the LDV men laughed but it wasn’t really a joke. I walked down the pier. I looked down through the cracks in the planks to see the waves because the tide was in and when you’re on the pier you feel like saying ha ha can’t get me! to the waves. My ma doesn’t like walking on the pier. She says it makes her feel dizzy so it’s a good job she isn’t in the Observer Corps. I wonder who invented the pier. I think people might have thought they were a bit barmy building something like a bridge that doesn’t really go anywhere.
To get to our observation post you had to go up all the stairs inside the theatre th
en there was a wooden ladder that came down from a square door in the ceiling and then you got into the comms room which was where Taffy sat. When I got there I heard Norman shouting to Taffy De Havilland Dragonfly heading two two five at two thousand feet position effzerothreethreeonetwoeight and Taffy nodded and said got that and it felt like I was at home. I went outside on the roof. Norman was on the Micklethwaite wrinkling his nose to make sure the plot was right and Mitch was looking at the aeroplane through his binoculars so I kept quiet but I couldn’t help looking too just to make sure they were right. Yes they were. The lower wing was that shape like Aunty Irene’s butter knife so I didn’t say anything.
Nothing much happened for a bit after that. They sent me to check the thermometer reading because the box was further along the roof and you had to walk along a ledge and Norman said there’s no point having a dog and barking yourself which I thought was obvious really. The thermometer said four degrees and not long after that the first starlings started landing on the roof all chirping away. Norman said they were like a lot of women gossiping. It was good to see the birds so close up without having to use my binoculars. They didn’t seem afraid of us. They hopped on to the sandbags and looked into our observation post as though they liked looking at humans the same as we liked looking at birds. Norman wanted to shoo them off but Mitch said no leave them, it’s us on their territory and Norman said please yourself which I was amazed at because I’d always thought Norman was the boss of them too. It’s a good job Norman didn’t shoo them off because the miracle or whatever it was wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
The sun went down and it made a thin red line between the dark blue sea and the dark blue sky. Mitch said it was more beautiful than a painting and Norman called him a queer. After the sun went down loads more starlings landed on the theatre roof. They just kept coming and coming. I was surprised how smart starlings are especially in their winter plumage with the white spots. They’ve got this greeny purply sort of shine on their feathers that you can’t see from a distance. It’s like they don’t want folk to take much notice of them. Anyway down they came and down they came until it almost got a bit frightening like they were planning on doing something. And then like someone had blown a whistle or a hooter to start their shift the whole lot took off at once chitter chattering and got themselves in a big group over us. Me and the boys watched like we were looking at the biggest group of bombers we’d ever seen but you wouldn’t ever see bombers flying like those starlings flew. Up down round and round zooming over our heads so close you could hear their wings whispering. It was like looking at a living cloud being blown about in fifty different directions at once. I watched so much I forgot to see anything else. It was like Norman and Mitch disappeared and the pier and the sea and pretty much everything else apart from the starlings. It was like I was flying with them and it made me want to cry.
When they finished and flew away I felt really sad. What was all that about then? Norman said. He made his voice sound as though he wasn’t bothered about what the starlings had done but I could tell he’d liked it really. Why does it have to be about anything? Mitch said and he sounded really angry. Why can’t it just BE and leave it at that? You’re always trying to analyse everything and put it in a box and all that does is take away the magic. I think it was the most words I’ve ever heard Mitch say in one go. Alright keep your hair on, Norman said. It was just a load of birds. Then he shouted to Taffy to put the kettle on.
It was quarter-past nine. I know because I’d just looked at my watch and it’s got luminous dots on the numbers and luminous lines on the hands. I looked at the dots and lines shining and then something strange happened. The dots and lines went whizzing off my watch and up into the sky and they started making the same movements as the starlings had done. When I told the man from the paper he said perhaps you were dizzy and saw some stars but it was cloudy by then so that wasn’t it. The dots and the lines followed where the starlings had been and because they were luminous and the sky was black it was like writing. Not English or any other language but it made sense somehow and what it said was go and get your ma and make her safe. Go and make your ma safe. Go and make your ma safe. How could the patterns say that? So many people asked me that question even though every time I said I don’t know they just did. They just did and that’s all that matters.
I’ve got to go, I said. Norman said you aren’t going anywhere sunshine. Your shift isn’t half finished yet. The starlings have sent me a message, I said. Norman said have they now? Well I’m fucking sending you one too. If you go now that’s a dereliction of duty and you’ll be facing a court-martial. I wasn’t sure what a court-martial was but the message was still in my eyes like when you look at a light for too long. I’ve got to! I said. For God’s sake let him go, Mitch said. Michael’s a volunteer and we’ve still got three at the post. He obviously feels something very strongly. Well I don’t know, Norman said. Swanning off because the birds have sent him a message? That’d look good on a report. Well DON’T WRITE ONE THEN Mitch shouted and Norman didn’t have an answer to that so off I went. Down the ladder down the stairs along the pier with my boots bangbangbanging on the boards sounding so loud with that message in my eyes like it was never going to go away.
What’s the rush? said the boys on the ack-ack gun. I’ve got to make my ma safe, I shouted but I didn’t stop. I ran across the prom into town. Everywhere was pitch black because of the blackout but I could find my way home with my eyes shut so it didn’t bother me. I ran up Church Street then turned left onto West Street and then through a back alley and onto Copperfield Road which is where the Beaverbrook Hotel is. I came charging into the back room where Aunty Irene and Uncle Walter were listening to the radio. Where’s Ma? I said and they looked round. She’s helping to sort clothes at the WVS, Aunty Irene said. Why? She’s not safe, I said. Where’s the WVS? At the Sally Army, Uncle Walter said. On Sunderland Avenue. Do you know how to but I didn’t hear any more than that because I’d run back out of the hotel and was aiming for where I guessed the Sally Army was. I hoped the starlings would help and they did because I more or less ran straight into a warden who looked at my tin hat and my blue overalls and decided I must have been authorised. Where’s the Sally Army? I said. The warden said you’re in the Observer Corps, aren’t you? Have you seen something? And I said yes I need to make my ma safe. He thought right quick and said second left straight down half a mile and it’s on your right. So I said ta and ran off. Do I need to sound the alarm? the warden shouted and I shouted back no it’s just my ma but I didn’t stop running. I’ve never run so fast, it was almost like I was flying. It was like the starlings were carrying me.
Into the darkness past all the dark houses that looked like they were just painted. Like I was running between scenery from the theatre with the message in the back of my eyes going paler because the starlings were further away now. There it was! The Sally Army. I could just see the shape of it against the sky. I ran up the steps and went in shouting Ma Ma Ma. A woman in a brown coat came out of a room and said who are you? So I said I’m Michael Braithwaite, who are you? I’m Mrs Tyler, she said. Are you Anne’s lad? Yes I’m Anne’s lad, I said. I’ve come to make her safe. Well, Mrs Tyler said, you need to calm down a bit my lad. Your mum’s safe as can be here and if the siren does go the shelter’s only on the corner so there’s no need to come charging in here shouting the odds now is there? I didn’t want to waste any more time with Mrs Tyler so I pushed past her and started shouting Ma Ma Ma again going down the hall and looking in rooms. My heart was beating so much it felt like my whole body was beating. I just knew I had to find Ma fast. I knew it was the most important thing I’d ever do. Ma Ma I shouted and then a door opened and there she was. I was so relieved I felt like crying. Come on Ma, I said, I’ve got to make you safe.
Mrs Tyler had caught up with me by now and said there you are, Anne, will you please tell your son that it is unacceptable behaviour to barge in here ranting like a madman. I know he h
as… difficulties but even so.
Then Ma got that look on her face, the one that she puts on when she sees something that needs changing pretty sharpish. For a moment I thought it was me she was going to go mad at but then I noticed she wasn’t looking at me, she was looking at Mrs Tyler standing behind me. When I want your advice I’ll ask for it Abigail, she said in that calm voice she only has when she’s really mad. Anyway you’re a fine one to be lecturing me on how to bring up my children. How old was your Veronica when she got in the family way? I turned round to look at Mrs Tyler and she’d gone as red as a beetroot. Then she made a hummph sort of a sound and stomped off. Ma came up and put her hands on either side of my face and looked at me really close like when she was checking whether I’d washed my face properly or not. What’s the matter Michael? she asked. I’ve got to make you safe, I said. The starlings sent me a message. The starlings? she said. How did they do that? By flying around all together, I said. It was like they wrote it on the sky.
Now my ma knows about nature so I wasn’t sure whether she’d believe me or not about the starlings. Once a sparrowhawk caught one of Mister Ainsworth’s pigeons and ate it really slowly on our back fence. Ma and me were watching from the kitchen and I could tell the pigeon wasn’t dead when the sparrowhawk started to eat it so I said it was being cruel. No, Ma said, it’s just eating it. Nature isn’t cruel it just needs to keep a balance of things. Perhaps that pigeon was a bit slow or wasn’t paying attention and then its babies would have been slow as well or not paid attention and so on and so on until all the pigeons were useless and that would make things out of balance. I remember pretending to agree but inside I still felt sorry for the pigeon. Just because it was a bit slow didn’t mean it deserved to be eaten alive.