by Lucy Clark
‘She’s sleeping at the moment, Danny. It’s just gone six o’clock in the morning.’
‘But how is she, Charlie?’
‘She’s doing fine. She’s booked to go on the treadmill today so we can check her lung capacity and her latest lot of ECG results look good.’
‘I’m coming to check her for myself.’
‘I was surprised you didn’t accompany her on admission.’
‘I’m currently in England. Listen, Charlie. Keep a close eye on her for me. She’s been like a mother to me.’
‘Will do, Danny.’
‘Friend of yours?’ Sebastian asked after she’d replaced the receiver.
‘Yes. He was a year ahead of me in med school.’ She sighed and leaned back against the bench. ‘At least someone I trust is looking after her.’
‘That must be a great comfort to you.’
Danny looked up at him. ‘It is.’
‘Right. Next step, let’s get your flight changed.’
She was mildly surprised. ‘You don’t mind that I’m leaving early?’
‘Of course I mind but that’s beside the point. Maisy needs you but more importantly you need to be there for her.’
Danny sighed again and wrapped her arms about him. ‘Thank you for understanding…and I’m…I’m sorry I snapped at you.’
He smiled. ‘I don’t scare that easily.’ He pressed his lips to hers. ‘Get me your flight details and I’ll call the airline for you.’
Within ten minutes everything was sorted out. Sebastian had changed her flight so she would leave the following morning, forty-eight hours earlier than her original return flight. ‘I’ve got clinic tomorrow morning, Dannyella, so I won’t be able to take you to the airport.’
‘That’s OK.’ She grinned at him. ‘Remember I’m a doctor, too. I know what it’s like.’
‘But I was looking forward to it. I’d rearranged my Wednesday clinic so I’d be free but…’ He shook his head. ‘With the short notice…’ He trailed off and shrugged.
‘It’s OK,’ she repeated earnestly, and reached up to kiss him. ‘I’m not saying I understand to be polite, Mac.’
‘I know.’ He gathered her to him, memorising every contour of her body and how perfect she was in his arms. Soon she would be gone. The questions between them, the ones which virtually hung in the air surrounding them, still hadn’t been answered. ‘When will I see you again?’ He looked down at her, his expression solemn.
‘I don’t know.’ She breathed in the scent of him, wishing she could freeze the moment.
‘We can’t just leave it at this.’
‘What are we supposed to do?’ Danny looked up at him.
‘You could always…get a job here,’ he ventured.
‘Why?’ She broke free of him and walked over to the window.
‘Well, that way, we’d be together.’
‘What? Be partners in your rural practice?’ She shook her head. ‘I don’t think so, Mac.’
‘What’s so wrong with it?’
‘Everything. How can you even suggest I come here to set up practice with you when you yourself don’t even like it?’
‘I never said that.’
‘You didn’t have to. I can see it in your eyes. The way you were in the outback was different. You found passion there. Passion you used to feel when you first started to practise medicine.’
‘So you think I should move there?’
‘Why not?’ Right at that moment she acknowledged she didn’t care for how long he came to the outback. She just wanted him to come. She wanted him to be happy…to be free and…to be with her.
‘I can’t leave my practice, my family. I have obligations here.’
Danny shook her head and started to pace. ‘I am the only doctor for hundreds of kilometres, Mac, you know that. The people of the outback depend on me. They need me. I could never let them down by leaving and you’ve known that from the start. Just look at what’s happened to Maisy. That’s proof enough that I should never have left to come here in the first place.’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
‘The locum—the one I’d organised—was called away on Thursday so they sent a brand-new, fresh-out-of-GP-training locum down to take his place. Dad said the bloke didn’t realise Maisy’s symptoms were that bad and waited too long to call the flying doctor. He didn’t understand the procedure and, quite frankly, I think he probably panicked because there wasn’t a hospital within spitting distance of the pub!’
‘None of that is your fault.’
‘Yes, it is. I was the one who left. If I’d been there, she would have been seen to quickly and competently and may have spent just a night or two at Katherine. As it is, it’s going to take ages for her to…’ Danny choked on a sob. Sebastian took two steps towards her but she held up her hands to stop him. ‘Don’t.’ She took a ragged breath before slowly letting it go. ‘I feel so helpless.’
‘Only because you’ve had no control over this situation. Dannyella, you need to let go a little. You’re holding onto that community as an excuse. You’re hiding yourself in other people’s lives instead of making one for yourself. You don’t realise it but you’re simply existing there. You’re not really living. Yes, you’re the only doctor around and you do a brilliant job, but they will survive without you. They have survived without you.’
‘Maisy could have died!’ Tears streamed down her face and there was vehemence in her tone. ‘Wouldn’t you feel helpless if this had happened to your mother?’
‘I understand your need to return but that doesn’t change my opinion about your work. If you continue the way you’re going, you’ll work yourself into an early grave and that’s something I can’t even bear to think about.’
‘So, by moving here, I’ll save myself from an early death and instead die of boredom?’ She wiped at the tears and sniffed.
‘I wouldn’t go that far.’
‘Why not? You are just a shell here, Mac. In the outback you were alive…but here?’ She shook her head. ‘You’ve lost the pulse. Isn’t that why you did your Ph.D.? To try and recapture some of your initial enthusiasm for medicine? Has it worked?’
‘I do like the academic side of things.’
‘So that’s it, then? No more patients? You’re lying to yourself. You are brilliant at medicine and especially with patient care—when you’re in the right setting. Your life had a pulse in the outback. Medicine came to life again for you. I saw it happen!’ How was she ever going to get through to him? ‘You don’t like hospital work and you don’t like this rural GP stuff either. You did your thesis to try and make sense of the feelings you had, but have you found any answers?’
‘I hardly think I warrant this attack.’
‘It’s not an attack.’
‘Yes, it is. You’re feeling out of control and helpless at the situation back in Australia and you’re taking your frustration out on me.’
‘It’s not an attack. These are merely just my observations, Mac. I see the guilt inside you and it’s slowly eating at you, solely because you had a fantastic time in the outback. You need a challenge to keep you going—so do I. It’s why we connected so easily. Here—you have no challenge. You’ve done extra study, you’re doing your Ph.D. You’re doing anything and everything you can to try and patch up the problem rather than facing the problem head on and getting to the heart of it.’
‘Which is?’
‘You’re not happy here. Think about it, Sebastian,’ she implored. ‘Come to Australia with me.’
‘So I can watch you work yourself to death?’
‘No. So you can save both you and me at the same time,’ she whispered.
The silence stretched on and the mental distance widened dramatically.
‘I can’t.’ The words were clipped and brooked no argument.
‘I love you.’
His gaze met hers but he didn’t move.
‘I can’t.’
Danny bit down on her t
ongue to stop herself from crying. On wooden legs, she forced herself to walk from the room and not look back.
This time, it was really over.
Sebastian’s entire body felt as though it weighed a ton as he opened the door to his house and walked in. He knew she was gone. He didn’t need to go into the bedroom she’d used to prove it—he felt it. All day long, he’d felt it.
Dannyella was gone.
Gone for good.
He walked into the kitchen and switched the kettle on, checking his answering machine in the foolish hope that she’d changed her mind and called to tell him her plans. The light was flashing and he quickly pressed the button, anxiously holding his breath.
‘Sebastian.’ His mother’s well-educated vowels sounded. ‘We need to talk. I’m coming to see you once the Australian has gone. My plans are to—’ He jabbed at the button, silencing her voice.
‘The Australian,’ he muttered. How dared she refer to Dannyella like that? Didn’t she realise that he loved the Australian? His heart ached, his head pounded and he felt instantly sick.
He loved her!
He loved Dannyella!
Why hadn’t he realised this sooner? Why hadn’t he told her how he felt? ‘You’re a daft idiot.’ He walked to his bedroom, ready to collapse on the bed.
He stopped and stared.
There, on his pillow, was a hat with corks attached to the wide brim. How could he have been so…so…stupid? She was right. There was nothing holding him in England. Not his patients, not his friends and not his family.
He stared at the hat. His hat.
She’d given it back…and as far as she was concerned, that said it all.
He shook his head, unable to bring himself to touch the object—the object which unleashed memories of happiness from all the times he’d worn it. All the times he’d laughed and felt alive for the first time in…well, really, for the first time. She’d shown him how being with people who genuinely loved and cared about you was what mattered most in life. Now that he’d experienced it, he realised he wanted it permanently.
His own upbringing had been seriously lacking in emotion and there was no way he was going to raise his family like that. His family. The one he would have with Dannyella—at Dingo Creek.
Now he just had to convince her he meant business!
Danny stepped into the cool billabong water and willed herself to relax. After all, that was why she was here.
‘Get away,’ Maisy had said this morning. ‘Just overnight. Ya’ve got ya phone so anyone can reach ya if they need to.’
‘I don’t want to go away,’ Danny had protested.
‘Ya’re going and that’s the end of it. I’m sick of ya mopin’ around here.’
‘I don’t mope!’
‘Oh, yes, ya do. Ya’ve been workin’ nonstop ever since ya plane touched down in Darwin seven weeks ago and when ya not working, ya mopin’. Actually, come to think of it, even when ya’ve been workin’ sometimes ya’ve been mopin’. I’m sure of it.’
‘I wasn’t moping!’ Danny had said between clenched teeth. ‘I’ve been concerned for you, that’s all.’
‘Garbage. I’m fine. Yew know it, lovey, and I know it. I’ve got Bob fussin’ over me like a roo with her joey and, believe me, he’s enough to handle without yew fussin’ too.’
‘Getting kind of serious—the two of you, isn’t it?’
‘Ya got that straight, lovey.’ Maisy had wiggled her eyebrows up and down for emphasis. ‘Next husband is comin’ right up.’ She’d laughed and then sobered. ‘It’s more than I can say for yew and Mac. Don’t know when that boy’s gonna come to his senses but it had better be quick or I’ll be steppin’ in to do somethin’ about it.’
‘Leave it, Maise.’ Danny had rubbed her fingers across her eyes. ‘Please?’
‘Get away, lovey,’ Maisy had soothed. ‘Today. Just overnight. Everythin’ll be fine.’
‘Promise?’
‘Promise.’
‘OK.’
Danny duckdived beneath the water, allowing the cool, silky water to wash over her hot, tired body. Coming up for air, she thought she heard the sound of the chopper. Was something wrong? She listened for a moment, concentrating on the sounds around her, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Taking a breath, she ducked beneath the water again, feeling the tension she’d been holding onto so tightly start to slip away.
She had to let go. Sooner or later, she had to let Sebastian go. He hadn’t contacted her—not even an email. There were no more tears left—she was positive of that because she’d spent the last seven weeks crying them out of her body.
Coming up for air again, she struck out and started to swim, hoping to tire herself out. She had no work to do today, no paperwork, no clinics, no house calls. Maisy had cancelled the lot and she was sure most of the township would have supported the move. Their doctor really was pushing herself way too hard but it was the only way Danny knew how to ensure she slept soundly at night.
Finally, she dragged her weary body from the water and wrapped a thin sarong around her swimming costume.
The crack of a branch nearby made her freeze. Slowly she looked over her shoulder and stared…between the swinging corks…right into Sebastian’s blue eyes.
Neither of them moved.
Danny felt as though all the air in her lungs had disappeared because the aching beneath her rib cage was getting worse. It was then she realised it wasn’t her lungs but her heart. Her heart and her soul had ached for this man…and now he was here. But why?
‘Sorry if I’m interrupting.’ His deep tones washed over her. He was wearing denim jeans, a white T-shirt with a chambray shirt unbuttoned over the top and he looked…incredible. He looked as though he belonged here in the outback. Did she dare to hope?
‘You’re not.’
He started to walk towards her and her heart increased its pounding rhythm in nervous anticipation. Why was he here?
‘You were right, Dannyella.’
‘About?’
‘About me not being happy. I wasn’t.’ He was getting closer with every step yet still she was glued to the spot, unable to break her gaze from his, the crick in her neck getting worse, but she ignored the pain.
‘Why are you here?’
‘Because I missed you.’ The words were simple yet honest. He came to stand in front of her but made no move to touch her. He took his backpack off and placed it on the ground, never once breaking the hold on her gaze. ‘Because…because I love you.’
Danny gasped.
‘I was a complete and utter…’ He searched for the right word.
‘Drongo?’ she supplied.
He smiled and nodded. ‘Absolutely. A complete and utter drongo. How could I have been so blind, so dumb, so…?’
‘Brainless?’
His smile increased. ‘Yes. Brainless…to let you go.’ He reached down and took her hands in his. ‘I love you, Dannyella Thompson, and I never want to let you go. Ever!’
Danny’s heart swelled with love and happiness and pleasure. He loved her. Sebastian MacKenzie loved her.
‘I’m dreaming.’ She shook her head and closed her eyes. ‘I must be dreaming.’ She felt a warm kiss pressed to her lips and sighed with longing.
‘You’re not dreaming.’ With that, he gathered her into his arms and sealed his declaration in the most appropriate way. Danny didn’t complain.
‘I still can’t believe you’re really here,’ she said after a few moments.
‘Well, I am—for good.’
‘You’re…moving to Australia?’
‘Not just Australia, Dannyella—Dingo Creek.’
‘What about your Ph.D.?’
‘I need to return in a few months’ time to wrap everything up.’
‘That’s it?’
‘Well, I think we can go back for holidays now and then but basically, yes, that’s it.’
‘And your practice?’
‘Sold.’
‘Y
ou sold your practice?’ Her tone was incredulous. He really was planning to stay for ever, but what if he found he got bored after a few years? ‘Are you sure you’ve thought this through?’
‘Dannyella,’ he said with a laugh. ‘I’ve done nothing else for the last seven weeks. I would have been here sooner if things hadn’t taken so long with setting up my new job.’
‘You have a new job?’
‘Yes. You were right when you said I’d lost my passion for medicine. I had. In fact, everything you said that night was correct. I did my Ph.D. so I could try and understand what I was feeling, and I did discover something.’
‘What?’
‘That I really do like the academic angle of medicine.’
‘I’m glad. So are you going to do more research? Another degree, perhaps?’
‘No.’
‘No?’
‘You see, I also really like the patient contact. Again, you were correct.’
‘I’m confused. What exactly is your new job?’
‘Starting in July, I’ll be teaching for one week every month at the medical school in Darwin.’
‘What?’ She shook her head. ‘This is just one surprise after another.’
His eyes twinkled with love and laughter. ‘There’s still plenty to come. I contacted the Dean of the medical school and pitched my proposal.’
‘You proposed to the Dean of the medical school?’ She couldn’t resist teasing him.
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I do. So what was the proposal?’
‘That I lecture for one week every month and also provide a service for sixth-year medical students to come here to Dingo Creek—two students at a time—once a month.’
‘Whoa! Let me get this straight. I’m going to have two medical students here every month, following me around?’
‘No. Following us around. I want to help you, Dannyella. You said there was enough to support another doctor here but only part time. Well, guess who your new part-time doctor is?’