by Jewel E. Ann
“Parker?” Sabrina called from downstairs. “Gus?”
Parker was halfway to the stairs when Gus covered her mouth with his hand before she could answer. He dragged her into the guest bedroom and farther back to the walk-in closet they used for storage. Her moans remained muffled behind his hand as her eyes bulged, fingernails digging into his arm.
“Shhh…” he whispered in her ear. “Give me two minutes, then I’ll let you go. Please, two minutes.”
Her eyes darted side to side a few times before she gave him a slow nod. An inch at a time, he moved his hand from her mouth and threaded both of his hands into her hair. Parker grabbed his forearms, but she didn’t fight him. Instead, with one blink tears ran down her cheeks.
Gus leaned down until his lips hovered a few inches from hers. “I love you.”
She pinched her eyes shut and tried to shake her head, biting her lips together.
“Yes, I do. You can tell me what to call you. You can make a million snarky comments about my age. You can break the news of my wife’s affair. But you cannot tell me I can’t love you. That’s my choice, and I choose to love you because it’s all I want to do.” His emotion-choked voice struggled to keep to a whisper. “I don’t give a damn about those condoms. That’s not my life. So if you thought I would explode into some rage of jealousy, you were wrong. I don’t want to fight with Sabrina. I don’t want to beat up some guy she’s sleeping with. I just …” He pressed his forehead to hers as she shook with silent sobs. “I just want you.”
Parker surrendered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried more. He held her tightly to him, not wanting to let her go or let her think a second beyond that moment. “You’re a horrible, heartbreaking old man, Gus Westman.”
A smile pulled at his lips. “I am. But you love me, right?”
She inched back, sniffling and blinking the tears from her long lashes. “Against my better judgment, but …”
“But?” He grinned.
Her lips fought for a tiny bit of hope with the slightest curl. “Yes,” she whispered.
“Yesss …” He beamed, kissing her until he felt certain the only thing holding her up was his arms around her waist.
When they came up for breath, a touch of sadness stole her features again. “Don’t,” he whispered over her lips. “Don’t give me that look like you’re waiting for something bad to happen. Give me three days to work through everything with Sabrina before she leaves town again. Then come away with me.”
“I …” She shook her head. “I can’t leave with you. My family will never understand how this happened. Not after Caleb and Piper.”
“Then don’t tell them. Not now. Tell them you’re going with friends or to check out a job, or whatever, but just … come away with me. Just for a few days. You, me, no clothes.”
Parker laughed. “Such a guy.”
“Your guy.” He bit her lower lip then ran his tongue over it. “Come with me.”
She nodded. “Three days and if I haven’t heard from you, I’m hooking up with Dr. Blair again, and you’re still going to rewire my house for free.”
“Three days. I’ll knock Dr. Stinky Feet on his ass if he steps foot onto your property. And I’ll rewire your house after I spend a week buried inside of you.” He kissed her again, leaving her breathless one last time before the longest three days of his life. “Now, go home. I’ll deal with Sabrina.”
With a dazed nod, Parker released him and took two steps before turning back around. “Are you going to tell her?”
“Tell her what?”
“That you know about the condoms?”
Their words were still nothing more than whispers.
Gus nodded toward the master bedroom. “She’s probably already been in there and seen them on the counter.”
Parker’s eyebrows gathered together. “Are you going to tell her about us?”
The blank, indifferent look on her face gave away nothing. Gus wanted to do right by Parker, to make up for all the wrong that he’d done. “Yes. So … you’re out of a job.”
A hint of a smile graced her face. “Three days.” On a slow turn, happiness walked away.
Chapter Eighteen
Waking to the loud drone of a lawn mower, Parker untangled herself from the sheets and clicked on her phone. “Well done, me.” She grinned at the time that read five minutes after noon. Before she released her phone, it vibrated in her hand. A picture of her mom lit up the screen. After contemplating answering it, she caved and pressed the green button. “Good morning, Mom.”
“Morning? It’s afternoon. Please tell me you’re not still in bed.”
Parker jumped out of bed and stretched her free arm above her head, arching her back. “Nope,” she said with a yawn.
“How was the Westmans’ party?”
“Um … good. What did you guys do?”
“Well, we had a little surprise.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. I’ve made lunch. I’ll tell you all about it when you get here.”
“Mom, I’m—”
“See you when you get here. Don’t be too long, we’re hungry.”
Tossing her phone on the bed, she headed straight for the shower. The events of the previous day still clung to her, and she wanted to wash it all away, not think about Gus for the next three days, and keep her hope at bay until things were truly over between the Westmans.
After a shower and quick hair drying, Parker stepped out onto her front porch closing the door behind her. “What the hell?” she whispered.
The lawnmower that woke her belonged to Gus. In his Cubs cap, headphones, tank top, and cargo shorts, he rode the big John Deere back and forth in his front yard making a perfect quilt of crosshatches. She fumed, feeling the rage of fire burn the surface of her skin. He should have been ending his marriage, fighting, dividing belongings, packing stuff up, calling his attorney, not mowing the lawn.
A flood of gut-wrenching scenarios played in her mind: Sabrina got drunk and seduced her husband; Gus chickened out after his wife broke down over their affairs and begged him to stay; she wasn’t having her period, she was spotting at the beginning of her pregnancy. Parker wanted to run back in the house and hide from the big bad world, but she didn’t. With as much confidence as she could muster, she threw back her shoulders, slipped on her sunglasses, and walked like a queen toward her parents’ house, not sneaking a single peek in Gus’s direction.
She was done being the disposable girlfriend. Done with succumbing to physical desire. Done thinking the best of people. Done. Done. Done.
As soon as she reached the other side of the road, finding shade and privacy behind a cluster of tall trees, her phone vibrated in her pocket.
Gus: I can hear your thoughts from yards away, over the motor of the lawnmower, and through my noise-cancelling headphones. Stop thinking so LOUD. Sabrina got sick last night. She’s still in bed. I have to mow the lawn before I leave town with YOU.
Parker bit back her foolish grin.
Gus: And just so you know, I slept in the guest room … thinking of you.
“Jerk,” she whispered, no longer able to hide her smile. With slow steps, eyes stuck to the screen of her phone, she shuffled her flip-flops along the gravel drive toward her parents’ front door.
“Hi.”
Her momentum halted like a gunshot to her head. Parker closed her eyes. That voice, even years later, she recognized it. “Piper,” she whispered.
“Aren’t you going to look at me?”
On a deep inhale, Parker lifted her head to her twin. Piper’s hand making small circles on her tiny bump drew Parker’s attention away from the rest of the world.
“I’m five months along. We didn’t tell anyone until I was almost four months because I was so sick.”
Words required too much effort, so Parker stuck with a slow nod.
“It’s a boy.”
More slow nodding.
“Jesus, Parker, say something!”
&nb
sp; A heaviness settled in her body, and her heart felt like it was shrinking. The right words didn’t exist to express the mess of emotions that warred inside of her. “It’s getting hot out here. We should go inside.”
The painful smile on Piper’s face said everything. Their relationship was severed in a blink, but it would take so much more to fix it. Every step Parker took toward her sister meant something. She could have turned and run back home, but she didn’t.
“Aw …” Janey’s eyes filled with tears as Piper and Parker walked into the kitchen. “My girls are finally back together.”
Parker gave her dad a toothy grin. He returned a wink, and she knew it meant thank you.
“Let’s eat.” Janey gathered her composure and ushered everyone into the dining room.
Their parents sat at both ends of the table with Parker on one side and Piper and Caleb on the other side.
“Parker …” Caleb nodded at her but quickly averted his gaze to anything and everyone but her.
It took a few minutes of eating in silence for Janey to clear her throat and end the awkwardness. “Piper and Caleb are going to put most of their stuff in storage, but I told them since you don’t have much furniture it might be a good idea to use their sofa and chairs in the living room.”
Parker had trouble swallowing her bite of food. “So…” she wiped her mouth with a napkin “…you’re moving in with me?”
“Just until our house is finished.” Piper cut into her steak.
“I see.” She knew they were waiting for her to object so they could threaten to make her sell the farmhouse.
“I’m surprised you want to live in an old farmhouse. There’s probably much nicer places you could rent.”
“If it’s too much of an inconvenience, we could—”
Piper rested her hand on Caleb’s arm, cutting him off. “It’s hard to find places to rent for less than a year.”
The pain of biting her tongue was excruciating. They could afford to sign a year lease and move out after three months. Chump change for Caleb. Piper wanted to make Parker bend or break. It was too early to tell which one.
“Fine. When are you moving in?”
Four jaws dropped. Even her dad, the one ally Parker had, gave her an incredulous stare.
“Parker, I’m … very proud of you.” Janey’s eyes filled with tears again.
How proud would she have been knowing what Parker did with a married man less than twenty-four hours earlier?
“Thanks, Mom. I’m going to be leaving in a few days for a trip with some friends. Feel free to move your stuff whenever.”
“Where are you going?” her mom asked.
“Uh … New York.”
“Oh, Parker, do you know how dangerous that is? Do you realize how much political unrest our country is in right now? It’s not even safe to fly, let alone go to a major city like that.”
“For crying out loud, woman!” Her dad shook his head. “Something could happen to her anywhere. We can’t be so damn paralyzed by fear. Let her go and live a little.”
“New York City is the best!” Piper sat up straight with a ridiculous smile. “Caleb and I have been there so many times. You’ll love it, Parker.”
When the twins made eye contact, Piper’s smile faded a bit. They used to be best friends and share everything with each other. Parker wondered if they would ever get that back. The scars of what had happened would never completely disappear.
“You haven’t been working for Sabrina that long, I’m surprised she’s giving you time off.”
Parker glanced at her dad, silently cursing him for bringing up that subject. “Yesterday was my last day working for Sabrina.”
“What happened?” Bart’s brow furrowed.
She rearranged the peas on her plate with her fork. “Nothing. Just between us, I think they might be having marital issues and things are a little too intense around there for my taste. But don’t say anything. Besides, I really do need to look for a career, not just a temporary job.”
“You should have gotten a different degree.” Piper couldn’t keep her trap shut.
Parker glared at Caleb. He squirmed in his chair.
“Yes, a lot of ‘should haves,’ but here I am with a fabulous communications degree. I’m still paying off student loans, so I’m going to figure out a way to use my degree or die trying.”
“We’ll cover the utilities and insurance while we’re staying with you.” Piper rubbed her belly and gave Parker a pity smile.
“Thanks. Speaking of utilities, Gus has agreed to rewire the place.”
“Ah …” Bart nodded. “That’s good. What’s he charging you to do it?”
Twisting her lips to the side, Parker hummed a bit. “I … I don’t remember the exact price, but he’s giving me a neighborly discount and I might … do some stuff for him, so we’ll barter as much as possible.”
Sex. They would barter with sex, or they would have sex and call it bartering. It didn’t matter to Parker at that point. She wanted Gus. Period.
“Is he going to start the rewiring before you get back from New York?” Piper asked.
Parker pursed her lips to keep from grinning. “Not likely.”
“Our stuff comes tomorrow. We’ll stay another night or two with Mom and Dad until our bed arrives and we get it set up.” Piper rested her hand on Caleb’s leg.
His hand covered hers. Their love was disgustingly beautiful, maybe even despicable.
“Well, I need to get home, do some laundry and cleaning, and get packed for my trip. Thanks for lunch, Mom.”
She gave her soon-to-be roommates a quick look. Piper didn’t back down, but Parker wondered if the day would ever come that Caleb would look her in the eye like a brother-in-law and not like the cheating boyfriend. He probably wondered the same thing about Parker.
*
The high Parker got from cleaning her house fell under the slightly obsessive category. Thinking of leaving town with Gus amped her up a bit more than normal. Her high fizzled the moment she started to pack for their trip to whatever unknown place, probably not New York. Everything in her PJ drawer resembled workout clothes or swimsuit cover-ups.
No silk.
No lace.
No satin.
No sexy.
Gus married a woman who refused to wear cotton. Parker owned nothing but cotton and polyester. Her wardrobe defined anti-sexy. She didn’t have time to worry about it. If Gus didn’t find her sexy in a T-shirt and soft, chunky socks, then he wasn’t the guy for her.
After organizing a week’s worth of random outfits into her suitcase, she brushed her teeth and collapsed onto her bed. Two more sleeps until Gus.
The next day had her a fidgety mess. The house was spotless and her stuff was packed. Drinking too many cups of coffee, she stood guard at her kitchen window hoping to see some sign of activity at the Westmans’. The pathetically insecure stream of what-ifs made their rounds in her head.
What if Sabrina was still sick and Gus still hadn’t talked with her?
What if he decided he couldn’t be with a cotton girl?
What if they chose to stay together for the dog’s sake?
When the what-ifs obliterated her last bit of sanity, Parker decided to go outside and pull weeds, water a few plants that didn’t need water, sweep the shed, and rake the gravel in the drive to an even level. Then she washed and waxed Old Blue, vacuumed the interior, and sat in the driver’s seat like she had somewhere to go while she stared at the Westmans’ house. After the sun had baked her to a medium-well, she clocked out for the afternoon and fled to the safety of the air-conditioned house to take a shower.
While eating dinner for one, a sandwich and green grapes, she texted Gus. It occurred to her that three days was a bit confusing. Would he come for her on day three or did he need three full days with Sabrina, therefore, he would come for Parker on day four?
Halfway through typing her request for clarification from Gus, she hit the delete button. That’
s not the woman she wanted to be with him. She had no plans, no job, and barely a life. She didn’t need to be impatient or demanding. He didn’t need a text in the middle of working out terms with Sabrina.
Parker could wait. She would wait. And she did wait with beer and leftover Jello shots.
Chapter Nineteen
Ding dong.
Ding dong.
Ding dong.
“What the hell?” Parker grumbled as she threw the covers off her bed and rubbed her eyes.
Ding dong.
Ding dong.
Ding dong.
She knew from the dim light filtering through her shades that it was early in the morning, barely past sunrise. Tying the sash to her robe, she navigated the stairs like a drunk person. When she cracked open the door, a dark wet nose tried to wedge it open even more.
Rags. Her heart tried to escape the confines of its cage as she looked up knowing it was Gus.
“Hey—” Her heart deflated a bit. “Gerald.” Parker tried not to sound too disappointed that it was Gus’s dad at her door and not Gus. She opened the door all the way.
Rags shot past her, straight up the stairs.
“Rags!” Gerald called.
Parker chuckled. “It’s fine. He knows his way around. Came over during a storm one night and refused to go home when Gus came to get him.”
Gerald nodded. “I uh … hate to inconvenience you in any way, but could you watch Rags for a few days?”
“Um …” She wasn’t sure if telling him about her trip with “friends” to New York was a good idea. While she had no intention of telling her parents anytime soon about her relationship with Gus, it was possible he’d confided in his parents about them.
Gerald sucked in a slow, long breath and held it, his expression drawn in agony.
“Are you feeling okay?”
Nodding a half a dozen times, he released his breath and then shook his head. “Yesterday afternoon Sabrina and Gus …” his voice broke and tears filled his eyes.