by Jewel E. Ann
Parker sighed a small laugh, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling. “When I wasn’t there.”
He nodded. “Your dad would tell me about his life growing up and all the stupid things he did. Or we’d discuss sports or just random shit. Since I grew up without my father, I craved that kind of attention. And Piper would join us, and she never mentioned you either. I think she needed her autonomy too. You were the perfect twin. The one who had more friends. The one who was most successful in sports. The one who had her life together and all planned out. She was messy. You were organized. She was spontaneous. You lived by your planner.”
Parker no longer had a planner—she no longer had plans. Her house was organized, but her life felt like a tornado ripped through it. She had no direction. No future. No Gus. Life knocked her flat on her ass, and some days she questioned if the effort to try and get up was worth it.
“I shouldn’t have followed you to college.”
“I told you not to.” He looked up.
“You never told me not to! You went on and on about volleyball being my life and how I’d probably forget about you. You made it sound like I was making a choice. You or volleyball.”
“I just wanted you to think I’d miss you.”
“Are you kidding me?” She shot off the bed and paced the room. “A simple, ‘Hey, I’m going to miss you, but this is an opportunity you shouldn’t pass up. We’ll make it work,’ would have sufficed.”
“I’m sorry. I was afraid of hurting you.”
She scrubbed her hands over her face. “Wow, it’s crazy how you’ve derailed my life in some grand effort to not hurt me.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Parker stopped her pacing and rested her hands on her hips. “I am too.” Never did she imagine apologizing to Caleb. In the deepest recesses of her mind, she thought someday an apology to Piper for the laxative incident at their wedding might feel right.
Caleb glanced up with confusion etched on his face. He probably never imagined her apologizing either.
“I like organization. I like direction. I like feeling a sense of accomplishment at the end of every day.” She lifted her shoulders. “That’s who I am. So I’m sorry if my dreams weren’t yours. I loved volleyball. I loved the idea of playing it in college. But I gave it up because I may not have been your dream, but … you were mine.”
“Parker,” Caleb whispered.
She moved to the door and pressed her hand against his chest, applying enough pressure that he stepped back. “I learned my lesson. I hope you learned yours.” Her tight-lipped smile bid him a farewell as she closed her door.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Squeezing past the lovebirds in the kitchen, making a huge breakfast and an even bigger mess, Parker grabbed some coffee and headed to the back door.
“Where you going?” Piper asked, breaking eggs into a bowl.
After two days of wallowing in grief that she couldn’t share with anyone, Parker needed out of the house and something to distract her from life.
“It’s overcast, so I’m going to paint the shed.”
“Today?”
“Yes, Piper, today.”
“By yourself?”
“Yes, by myself.”
“Is everything okay? You’ve been moping around for two days. You don’t seem like yourself.”
Parker found it interesting that after no contact for two years, Piper thought she knew her well enough to know if she was herself or not.
“Surprise! This is the new me. I like to mope then binge on a major project like painting the shed. Later.” She fled the house before any more questions were asked.
As soon as she stepped outside, Rags shot through his doggie door straight to the fence, jumping up and barking. Parker sipped her coffee and walked his way. “Hey, what are you still doing here? I thought you’d be in Arizona by now.” She opened the gate, and he circled around her, his whole backside wiggling out of control. “Did you get left behind?”
Rags rolled on the ground. Parker squatted down and rubbed his belly. “Did Mr. Muscles eat your turkey jerky and leave? I bet he did,” she said in a baby-talk voice.
“Mr. Muscles didn’t go anywhere.”
Parker grinned as she looked up at Levi approaching the fence. He too had a cup of coffee in his hand.
“The Mr. Muscles reference was to me, correct?” He winked with a twitch to the corner of his mouth.
“Maybe.” She stood, taking another sip of coffee. “Thought you’d be gone by now.”
“Me too.” He watched Rags chase his tail until a butterfly lured him in another direction. “But he’s been having accidents in the house and…” Levi’s face wrinkled “…eating it.”
“Oh, eww, why?”
“I took him to the vet yesterday. He said it might be anxiety from losing his …” Levi took a long sip of his coffee as if it could drown his emotions.
“His people?”
Levi nodded. “I’m not sure how he knows they’re gone. What if they were just traveling?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Dog sense, I suppose. Anyway, the vet gave him anti-anxiety pills and said he should be better in a few days.” He tapped his foot on a patch of dirt and loose sod by the fence. “His doggie door has been locked until this morning. I’ve been taking him out on a leash to do his business because he wouldn’t stop digging holes by the fence. I think he’s trying to escape.”
“Rags.” Parker frowned while shaking her head. “Levi, there’s no shame in trying to find him another home.”
“Are you offering to take him?”
She chuckled. “No. Not unless he comes with the house and a spending account. I don’t have a new job yet. We’d both starve after a while.”
“If I wouldn’t feel incredibly guilty about not honoring my sister’s wishes, I’d take you up on your offer.”
She squinted at him. “My offer? I just said I couldn’t take him.”
“Unless you had the house too and a spending account. Right?”
“Ye-ah …”
He grinned, and after a few seconds, she did too.
“You’re real funny. What did you do? Steal my Powerball ticket?”
Levi scratched his head, ruffling his shaggy, bronzy-blond hair. “Something like that. So, what are you up to today?”
“I’m going to repaint the shed.”
“Oh yeah? What color of paint did you buy?”
“I haven’t yet. There’s a recycling place not too far from here where people drop off leftover paint. I’m going to see if there’s enough of one color to paint the whole thing. If not, I’m not opposed to using two colors. If they’re coordinating colors, it might look cool.”
“Okay, let me rephrase, what color are you hoping to find?”
“Well…” she grinned “ …it’s been white forever, blue is my go-to color, but red is really the flashy choice, so I’d have to say red. But I’m not holding out for either one of those colors. It will end up being beige, gray, or some other earth tone.”
“You never know, it could be your lucky day.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.”
“Do you want some help painting it?”
She didn’t, at least she thought she didn’t until Levi offered and made her question if spending the day by herself with a ladder, buckets of paint, and the shed was what she really wanted. “Sure, but it’s hot. Don’t feel obligated. I can do this on my own. No problem.”
“I have a quick errand I need to run. Then I’ll change my clothes and go with you to pick up the paint. Say … in about an hour?”
It was her chance to be alone. Write fuck you, Gus, for leaving me on the back of the shed and then paint over it. Therapy at its best. But maybe Levi needed the company as much as she needed to be alone. He lost his family. She lost a mistake.
“An hour sounds good. I’ll mow and trim the grass around the shed and check my supplies.”
He shot her a roguish grin, and she knew it was the right choice.
*
“Do we trust Old Blue to get us there and back?” Levi asked when Parker managed to get it started on the fourth try.
“Yes. He’s old but faithful.” She put it in reverse and backed out of the garage.
“Except at funerals.”
Parker shrugged. “It was an off day. Gotta give him a little slack. With all of those other nice cars parked close by, I think he felt pretty intimidated. Performance anxiety. It happens, right?” She glanced over at Levi and winked.
He perked a brow. “What are you implying?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” She pulled onto the main road and gave Old Blue some gas before he tried to die on her.
“Where did you get the old clothes?”
Levi looked down at his faded blue Nike T-shirt and jeans with holes in the knees. “I dug them out of the trash. They were old clothes from Gus’s closet, not worthy of donating.”
Parker drew in a slow breath to mask any reaction.
“Is this weird? Wearing a dead person’s clothes?”
“You offered to let me take some of Sabrina’s stuff.”
“Did you think that was weird?”
Parker laughed. Yes, she thought it was a little creepy. “No.”
“Are you being honest?”
She shot him a quick sideways glance. “Asks No Lie Levi who doesn’t like to be pestered for the truth.”
“So, it is weird. That’s all you had to say.”
Levi’s approach to life and death was refreshing. He showed glimpses of his grief with unfinished sentences and the occasional pull to his brow, but mostly he moved on like it was expected of him to keep living and not give the past too much energy.
“Are you good at painting?”
“Sure.”
“Sure?” She grinned. “What’s the last thing you painted?”
“A model of one of my designs in college.”
“In college?”
“Yes.”
“Oh boy …” She sighed as they pulled into the recycling center. When she turned off the engine, Old Blue backfired.
Parker pressed her lips together and closed her eyes.
“He’s just nervous.” Levi chuckled. “That’s what people do when they get nervous, right?”
Parker opened the door, cringing at the piercing moan of it, then she shut it and walked to the building without waiting for Levi.
“Good morning.” The young man behind the counter stood as she walked through the door. “What can I help you with today?”
Levi slipped his hands into his pockets and looked around at the shelves of used products.
“I’m looking for paint for my shed. It’s really an oversized garage, so I’ll need quite a bit.”
The guy behind the counter kept glancing at Levi. When Parker turned to look at him, Levi smiled, lips tight to his teeth. An unusual smile that looked incredibly guilty.
“Any specific color?”
“Red is my first choice, but I’m sure that’s not an option so—”
“As a matter of fact, we recently had someone drop off quite a bit of red paint. The wrong tint. Here, I’ll show you.” He lifted a gallon of it onto the counter and opened it.
Parker leaned forward. “Doesn’t look like it’s been used.”
“Nope. Like I said, wrong tint.” He dipped his finger in it and smeared in onto a scrap piece of wood.
“It’s a great red.” She grinned.
The guy nodded.
“How much?”
“Nothing. We only charge for large quantities of neutral colors.” He set up gallon after gallon pails of red paint onto the counter.
“These are all full?”
He nodded, glancing over her shoulder again at Levi.
“Well, damn! We’ll take them.”
She grabbed two gallons. Levi and the guy grabbed the rest and carried it to the truck.
“Can you believe it?” she said as they fastened their seat belts.
“It’s your lucky day.”
“I’d say.”
Their last stop was the hardware store.
“What are we doing here?” Levi asked.
“I need an extra brush, a roller cover, and pan liner.”
“Oh. I’ll wait in the truck.”
“What? No. It’s too hot, and if Erma is working today, she’ll talk my ear off. I need you to drag me out before she gobbles up my whole day.”
Levi chewed the inside of his cheek.
“What’s your deal?” Parker opened her door. “You’re acting strange. Or maybe this is you. Are you just strange, Levi Paige?” She laughed.
His grin looked like the side effect of constipation as he got out of the truck.
“Parker!” Erma greeted her from behind the counter.
“Hey, Erma. Don’t get up. I just need a few things for my painting project.”
“Wasn’t going to, honey. My hip’s bugging me too much today. Getting old is a bitch. Don’t do it.”
Levi took a quick left down the first aisle.
“Erma this is Levi. He’s helping me out today.”
“Hey, Levi.”
“Mmm.”
Parker laughed at his hum for a response. She grabbed what she needed and took it to the checkout, looking around for Levi.
“Whatcha painting now?” Erma asked.
“The shed.”
“God, I wish I had a fraction of your energy.” She scanned the items.
Parker gave her a polite smile, trying to avoid too much engagement in conversation.
“Levi, let’s go. Thanks, Erma.” It was a new record. Erma’s hip must have really been bothering her.
Parker waited by the door. Levi came out of the first aisle with his chin to his chest, head cocked away from Erma.
“Oh, hey, you again,” Erma said.
Levi gave her a quick nod and sped up.
“Red’s a great color for a shed, Parker.”
Levi stopped with a cringe on his face.
Parker cocked her head to the side. “I didn’t tell you what color I was painting the shed, Erma.”
“But your friend was in here earlier this morning buying red paint. I just assumed …”
“Thanks, Erma,” Parker said while scowling at Levi. “Have a nice day.”
She pushed through the door, stomping toward the truck.
“Don’t be mad.”
Parker jerked open the door to Old Blue and tossed the bag inside. Levi got in on the other side.
“Why would I be mad?” She tried to start the truck. It wouldn’t start. She tried several more times then dropped her head back and sighed. “No Lie Levi lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie.”
“Omission of the truth is a lie.”
“I told you that kind of lie I can do.”
She laughed and rolled her head to the side. “I see.”
“Don’t be mad. I wanted you to have a red shed.”
“Why?”
Levi shrugged. “Because I like you. And when you’re happy it’s a pretty damn good day. I haven’t had too many of those recently, so …”
She blinked owlishly. “It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.” A crooked smile touched her lips.
He leaned over and turned the key. Old Blue came to life. “See…” he sat back with a huge grin of satisfaction “ …it’s a damn good day.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Levi was the salve to Parker’s hurting heart. When they were together the grief was bearable. When she smiled and laughed with him, it felt good. No guilt. She wondered if he felt the same.
“Now that’s a shed.” Levi crossed his arms over his chest as they stood back a few yards inspecting the finished red shed.
“It’s the perfect color.”
He grinned. “I think so too.”
Parker turned to him. “Thank you. That was several hundred dollars in brand-new paint.” Her lips twisted to the side. “Weren’t you
afraid of someone else taking it before we got there?”
“I’m hungry. How about you?”
“Levi …”
“I told the guy at the recycling center to hold it behind the counter for you.”
“You told him?”
He shrugged. “With some cash, I told him to save it for you.”
“You paid for the paint, and then you paid for someone to save it for me?” Her head jutted forward. “Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just take me with you to buy the paint in the first place?”
“Would you have let me do that?”
She thought about it. “No.”
“Then there’s your answer. Now, food. Can I take you to dinner after we change our clothes?”
“No.” She looked down at her paint-splattered clothes. “Dinner is on me. But I’m starving too, so let’s go.” She started toward Old Blue parked by the fence.
“Where are we going?” He followed her.
“Get in.”
He grinned as he hopped in. “We’re a mess.”
She got it started on the second attempt. “We are. Here.” She tapped her finger on her phone. “When they answer, order a large pizza to go with your favorite toppings.”
He took her phone as she pulled out. “What do you want?”
“I’ll eat anything.”
When they pulled up to Casey’s General Store, she grabbed some cash from the glove compartment.
Levi laughed. “Great place to keep cash.”
“I know. Right? Be right back. Don’t let Blue die.”
A few minutes later she returned with a pizza box and a twelve-pack of bottled beer.
“Where’s the party?” Levi inspected the beer as she handed him everything.
“You’ll see.”
They drove back toward the house, but she pulled off the road into a field just before reaching her drive.
“What are we doing?”
She opened her door. “It’s my field, nothing got planted this year. So we’re going to eat, drink, and look at the stars.”