by Jewel E. Ann
Owning every inch of his dark jeans and cornflower blue tee hugging his sculpted torso, Levi glanced over his shoulder. “Sometimes.” He gave her the once-over with apprehension on his face as he stirred a red sauce in a copper pan.
“I’m sorry I walked out earlier. It was immature of me.” She moved behind him, pressing her chest against his back as her arms wrapped around his waist.
He stiffened.
“But I’m not sorry I pushed you to be honest with me. I needed to hear it. I just haven’t decided what I’m going to do with it yet.”
“Where did you go?” His voice was cold.
She eased back from him, feeling like she’d crossed an invisible line he didn’t invite her to cross. “Just walked around the shops. Drank too much coffee. Gasped at the prices of expensive shit I’ll never be able to afford.”
He kept stirring the sauce.
“Are you mad?”
Levi shook his head. “Don’t ask if you don’t want to—”
“I get it, Levi! I’m asking because I want to know.”
He flipped off the gas and tossed the wooden spoon on the counter. Sauce splattered everywhere, then he turned. “Yes! I’m pissed off because I can’t handle this shit. Waiting for the answer all fucking day long. I had work to do, but I couldn’t focus on anything or draw with my goddamn hands shaking so much!” He held out his shaky hands. Then he fisted them to make them stop.
That familiar pain returned to Parker’s chest as tears filled her eyes. “Answer to what?” she whispered.
“The usual question. Are you leaving?”
“What?”
“Are you leaving? They all leave. They prod over and over until I spill my guts and then they leave. Who stays with a prick who can’t censor a fucking thing? If you’re going to leave, then go. But don’t leave your shit here and leave me in goddamn limbo all day wondering when you’re coming back—if you’re coming back—or if I’m just going to get a call.” He grunted a laugh as he raked his fingers through his hair. “Or my favorite … sending the friend to pick up all your belongings. Just…” his voice cracked “…tell me if you’re leaving.”
“I’m not those other women.”
“You pushed me like you wanted to know what I really thought, but nobody wants to know—”
Parker shoved his chest forcing him to back into the stove. “Now, I’m pushing you! Just so we’re clear on that.” She glared at him. “And if I ask you something, it’s because I want to know what you really think. That makes me somebody, not nobody. If I don’t like what you have to say, then I might leave to process it more, lick my wounds, and soothe my ego, but I will come back. If you don’t want me here, then put my stuff in the hallway. Otherwise, I’m staying. Got it?”
Levi’s jaw pulsed as he blinked at her, hands balled. “You unpacked my suitcase, but not yours. I don’t think you believe you’re staying.”
Parker rolled her eyes, turned, and stomped toward her bedroom. Levi followed her, keeping a safe distance. She lugged her suitcase into his room and around the corner to his deep closet. Without any sort of discrimination, she removed the contents of the first two drawers she opened and shoved all of it into one—the bottom drawer. Then she filled the two empty drawers with her undergarments, shorts, and jeans. With one quick swipe, she pushed his neatly-spaced hanging clothes to the far side of the closet. In under two minutes, she had her shirts and dresses hung and perfectly spaced as his had been. A few pairs of shoes on the lower rack and her suitcase was empty.
With a long sigh, she turned to Levi blocking the entrance, thumbs in his pockets, a smirk hidden behind his twisted lips.
“I just marked my space. Don’t invade it or there will be consequences. I’m. Not. Leaving.”
“I love you,” he whispered.
Whoosh!
Levi stole her moment.
“Don’t say that.”
He shrugged. “Okay, but it doesn’t change anything. The sky is blue, water is wet, and the Earth is round, whether I say it aloud or not.”
“You haven’t known me long enough to love me.” Her voice shook because the last time someone loved her … he died. And he professed his love in a closet too. Closets were bad luck. Very bad luck.
Levi took a step closer. “You love me too.”
The deafening pulse in her ears drowned out all other noise. “You’re hungover from the sex.”
He grinned. “True. But that’s not why I love you.”
“It is. It’s desire. A very powerful thing. It’s instinctual. Physical. Carnal. And when it wants its way, your brain shuts down …” Gus’s words poured from her trembling lips. “You say things you don’t mean.”
“I’m not afraid of not having sex with you again. I’m afraid of not seeing you smile when you think no one’s looking. I’m afraid of not hearing you hum while you’re doing mundane things like tying your shoes. I’m afraid of never seeing you hug my mom again or sleep next to Rags. I’m afraid of you leaving before I can figure out why you would risk your life for convenience store donuts in the middle of the night.”
He took the final step separating them. “And for the record … I never say things I don’t mean. You know that. So fuck desire. I just want the girl for all the reasons every idiot before me failed to see.”
Parker composed her speech in her head, piecing together the words that she would use when she told her family why she would not be returning to Iowa. It started with, “Levi is like …” but Levi was not like anything or anyone. Levi was Levi—an entity all of his own, a phenomenon.
She was tired of crying. The past month had been an emotional marathon. Swallowing back the lump in her throat, she jabbed her thumb toward her hanging clothes. “I’m serious. That’s my space. If I see your fancy shirts drifting toward my thread-bare sundresses, I’m going to lose my shit.”
He hooked his index finger around hers and led her toward the kitchen. “Told ya.”
“Told me what?”
“You love me too.”
Yes. She loved him—so very much.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Levi didn’t need to work, but he did—a lot. When he wasn’t designing something, he was surveying building sites and meeting with prospective clients and contractors. Parker had important stuff to do as well, like walking Rags and … nothing. That was the extent of her purpose.
“Ugh.” She sighed on the elevator, staring up at the digital readout. Their early morning walk still didn’t beat the heat. “I’m not cut out for this, Rags. Are you?”
He didn’t respond. He couldn’t with his tongue dragging on the ground. Poor Rags.
“Yeah, my thoughts too. We might have to just play fetch inside for the next month or two.” The elevator dinged, and they stepped out, sweat dripping down Parker’s face.
She opened the door to Levi’s condo greeted by a man with short, sun-bleached hair, jumping on a rebounder, that wasn’t there when she left.
“You must be Parker.”
Bounce bounce bounce
She nodded, giving him a wary eye. “If you brought that mini trampoline for me, then I think I may love you.”
“I’m Ziek. And all the women love me. I have many gifts.”
Bounce bounce bounce
Another slow nod. She released Rags from his leash. He went straight to his water bowl.
“I’m only interested in the rebounder. Where’s Levi?”
“Shower. Lacrosse was brutal this morning. So, Levi said you’re from Iowa.”
“Yes, I am.” Parker grabbed a bottled water from the fridge.
“Corn. Tornadoes. And vast fields of … nothingness.”
“Nailed it.” She drank almost the whole bottle then sighed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Were you born in a barn?”
“Yup. My mom labored next to our horse, Amazing Grace. I came out first. Went straight from her womb to suckling at the teat of Hilda, our goat.”
Just as she gave Ziek
a toothy grin, Levi walked down the hall buttoning his shirt. One corner of his mouth curled up as he eyed Parker with amusement. “Get off, Ziek. That’s Parker’s.”
Ziek took one last big bounce before springing toward the sofa where he landed with a thunk. “We were just getting acquainted. Thought we should, since she already declared her love to me.”
Her heated skin from the walk hid her embarrassment. “What I meant was—”
Levi backed her into the kitchen island, caging her in, hands gripping the counter. “What you meant? So you did declare your love to another man?”
Parker grinned while she finished buttoning his shirt for him. “He brought me a rebounder.”
“I got it for you.” He sank his teeth into her neck.
She giggled and squirmed away from him. “Not cool.” Her eyes narrowed as she glared at Ziek.
“Baby, I’ll buy you anything you want. Take you anywhere you want to go. Just name it.” He smirked, stretching his legs out onto the coffee table. His arrogance swallowed up his good looks. Such a shame.
Parker hopped on the rebounder. It was a hundred times nicer than hers. No squeaky metal springs. She imagined that’s what bouncing in the clouds might feel like. “I want to see the ocean. Can you get me that, Ziek?”
“Fuck yeah! Done.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Pack your bag, baby … or not.” He winked. “I prefer the clothing-optional beaches.”
With an easy hook, like snagging a fish, Levi grabbed her waist and flung her over his shoulder.
“Hey!”
“Later, idiot,” he called to Ziek as he hauled her down the hallway.
“Can I stay and listen?” Ziek laughed.
“Not if you value your life.”
He turned into his office, not the bedroom where Parker had anticipated. “Where oh where to begin?” Levi sat in his desk chair with her on his lap, back to his chest.
“Stop!” She squirmed when he bit her bare shoulder by her sports bra strap, even harder than he did in the kitchen.
“I have a meeting in an hour. Can you stay out of trouble until I’m done? If you can, then I’ll rearrange a few appointments and give you what you want.”
Twisting her body to face him, she gave him a sexy smile. “I thought that’s what you did about three hours ago.”
“I did too.” He kissed her nose and stood, setting her on her feet and then swatting her butt. “But thirty seconds ago you were ready to jump on a private jet with Rent-a-Dick just to see where water meets land.”
“Private jet? Don’t you think you’re exaggerating a little? It was goofy banter, that’s all.”
Levi rolled up his design and slid it into a tube carrier then packed his laptop in his messenger bag. “Oh, my sweet little barn-born babe, I fear you may have suckled at Hilda’s teat a little too long. There’s a big bad world out there with guys like Ziek who have nothing better to do than wet their dicks all day.”
Parker crossed her arms over her chest. “Really? That guy owns a private jet?”
“Yes.” Levi continued to look around to make sure he had everything.
She blinked a few times. This wasn’t her world. Parker didn’t know people who owned jets. Caleb and Piper probably flew first class everywhere, but he didn’t own his own jet.
“How do you know him? Is he just a teammate?” She followed him back out to the kitchen.
“He’s a friend from college.” Levi refilled his coffee cup. “There were four of us who hung out … well, we still do. Techies. They went on to do even bigger things. I made enough money to do what I wanted to do, and then I focused on architecture.”
“What did you want to do?”
“Travel the world.”
Parker hopped back on her rebounder. “What do you mean? A bucket list?”
“All fifty states. All seven continents.”
Her legs locked up and her body stilled with her mouth open. “You’ve been to all seven continents?”
Sipping his coffee, he nodded slowly.
“How is that possible?”
Levi chuckled. “Three crazy trips. I only got to see a tiny fraction of each place, but I just wanted to step foot on all of them. We went to Europe and Africa for our first trip. South America and Antarctica for our second trip. And Asia and Australia for the final trip—that one was a killer on the old body clock.”
“Wow … I …” She shook her head. “I feel so …” Parker dreamed of visiting the Four Corners Monument so she could say she’d been in four states at once. And the ocean … she wanted to see the ocean, any ocean. Levi had seen all four. “And you went with Ziek and your other friends from college?”
“Yup.” Levi rinsed out his coffee mug.
She stepped off the rebounder and plopped her butt onto it. They weren’t in the same league. Not even close. He probably did believe she was born in a barn.
“Quick trip to the beach. Be packed by three.” He slung his bag over his shoulder.
“Thank you for the tramp.”
Levi beamed. “You’re welcome.”
Parker looked up, envious of the life he’d had. “Tell me, Mister World Traveler, what is your greatest memory, the one you’ll never forget?”
He squatted down in front of her, resting his hands on her legs. “That’s easy. Overcast sky. Barren field. Blue pick-up truck. Pizza. Twelve-pack of beer. And the woman who owns my world.”
“Liar,” she whispered as her heart nearly exploded.
He laid a sound kiss on her lips then grinned. “No Lie Levi.” Standing, he walked to the door. “I love you. Don’t you ever fucking forget it.”
*
Levi didn’t own his own jet. Parker kindly overlooked that flaw. Still, they took a private jet on loan from a friend.
“This isn’t my life.” She stared out the window as the jet made its descent.
“You’ve said that at least a dozen times since we took off.” Levi glanced out his own window, but his eyes didn’t hold the same wonderment.
“Does it ever get old?” She peeled her eyes away from the window.
“Sort of.”
“Really? How can that be?”
“Destinations no longer become the experience. It’s more about the people you’re with.” He shrugged. “So I’ve been to Malibu dozens of times, but never with you. That makes the trip new again. But if I were to come here with my buddies just to go to some party, it would get old. It has gotten old. At least for me.”
“You’ve partied a lot?”
He fastened his seatbelt. “Some.”
“Drugs?”
“No.” He chuckled.
“Drinking?”
Levi squinted an eye. “I think you know the answer to that.”
“Women?”
“Parker …”
“I’m not jealous. At least not in the way you think.”
His skepticism remained firmly planted on his face. “Then in what way?”
“You did everything someone graduating from high school dreams of doing … and then some. College with your buddies; you played a sport you love. Achieved financial success and got a degree that still pays well. Traveling. Parties. Fast cars. Sexy women. You’ve lived. I followed a guy and missed everything. But he didn’t. He did those things without me, and now he’s married, successful, and starting a family.”
The most pitiful frown marred his face. “It’s never too late.”
Parker laughed. “It is. It really is. I’m not twenty-one anymore. I’ve become a little more levelheaded. My mom has branded too much worry and common sense into my brain. I think about kidnappings, date rape, infections, incriminating photos on social media. It’s just taken the fun out of being young and stupid. Now, I’m only ‘sort of’ young and a little stupid, which makes drunk sex in the back of a pickup the craziest thing I can pull off.”
Levi grinned.
She sighed. “And even then, at the time I wondered if we should get tetanus boosters since there
’s rust in the back of Old Blue. That’s how my mind works now.”
“For the record, I don’t look back at all of the stupid things I’ve done with any sort of fondness. You know those people who say, ‘no regrets’? That’s not me.”
The plane touched down.
“What do you regret?”
“Uh … let’s see … getting arrested for public intoxication, three days in the hospital with a severe case of pneumonia because I’d spent almost a week partying, sleep deprived, and dehydrated. I had no immunity by the end of that week. Sex on the beach. Huge mistake—”
“What?” Her eyes popped out. “Why no sex on the beach?”
“Sand. Everywhere. In cracks, crevices, and holes sand should never go.”
Parker cringed. “Noted.”
*
They rented a convertible and drove a hundred miles an hour to Malibu, or so it seemed. Parker kept thinking about the life that wasn’t hers, but she embraced the experience and pretended for their quick one-night trip that it was her life.
“Holy … w-what resort is this?” Parker craned her neck to see more of the luxury resort as Levi pulled into the circle drive.
“It’s a house. Not a resort.”
“Whose house?”
He jumped out and grabbed their overnight bags. “It’s owned by more than one person.”
“And you know the owners?” She almost stumbled over her flip-flop-clad feet as she followed him to the door.
He pulled out a key and unlocked it. An alarm beeped when they stepped inside. Levi typed in the code and it shut off.
“Yes. I know the owners.”
The single-level home stretched forever in both directions with windows everywhere. Even the massive ceiling had windows, like a glass house.
White. It was the dominant color with a few places of bold red and aqua. Everything from the leather furniture to the chandeliers screamed money.
“Oh my god …” Parker whispered as she edged closer to the double doors overlooking a long infinity pool and just beyond that—the ocean.
The girl from the Midwest ran right out of her flip-flops and sprinted to the beach.
“Oh my god!” She threw her hands in the air trying to capture it. Nothing was better than ocean air. All descriptions of it fell short.