“And Ellowyn's sister,” Terrena added. “Her sister works here,” she continued at the confused looks of her mother and Sylvanna. “Zelene told me.”
Rhaya sat forward suddenly. “You did tell her sister that she died, didn't you?”
“I took care of it personally,” Solanna answered. “She has returned to their home village for a time to be with extended family.”
Terrena reluctantly moved forward with the discussion, eager to get this next argument out of the way and happy Zelene wasn't present for it. “I believe we should honor her at Imbolc.”
“At your Wassail?” Devland asked in disbelief.
“Yes,” Terrena responded simply. She saw no reason why Ellowyn shouldn't be honored before every important person coming from the edges of the worlds to witness her union with Reilly. In fact, she wanted them all to have Ellowyn's name on their lips. “I don't see why not. Ellowyn deserves the highest honors we can give her.”
Her mother shook her head. “I understand your sentiment, Terrena, but you must think of Reilly and the Tullians, as well as your people. This Imbolc celebration marks a new beginning now that you have returned.”
“Not all of us,” Rhaya reminded her coldly. “Ariana slips your mind so easily, Mother.”
Meridel set her jaw. “She does not, but I will let your implication pass since you are grieving.”
“Mourning is also a private matter,” Morissey joined in. “Think about your cousin. Do you honestly think she wants her grief on display for all the worlds to see? I believe we can manage a dedication of some sort at Imbolc, but I believe we should perform her burial rites in private. We can plan something over the course of the next few days or so.”
“I agree, and am not opposed to a dedication to Ellowyn during Imbolc,” Sylvanna said, surprising everyone in the room. She bristled at their responses. “I am not half as unfeeling as you all assume. She was just a child,” she said with a sad shake of her head. “You are all too young to be touched by war like this.” She composed herself and sat up straighter. “Very well. Solanna, perhaps you would like to plan the burial rites. As I represent Earth, I will perform the rites myself.”
“I'd like to help you,” Terrena said.
Sylvanna nodded. “Unfortunately, there's never enough time to grieve before our worlds are forced to move forward. We've given you these several days, but I would ask that you continue with your lessons now in preparation for Imbolc. There's still much for Adelphi to teach you, and not near enough time left to learn it all.”
“I believe we can do that,” Terrena said and Rhaya mumbled her agreement. “When are the other Tullians set to arrive?”
“Three days before Imbolc,” Devland answered. “We have a welcoming ceremony planned for them at the festival, but will need to do something small at their arrival as well.”
Leone wearily continued to the other business at hand. “We will also use that time to publicly pardon Prince Cedwen for the crimes he committed while enslaved by those that ran the illegal fights. He has asked permission to assemble a group to put an end to these fights and we have decided to grant him this request.”
“I will be accompanying him on this quest,” Nolan added, ignoring his father's grimace of disapproval.
Rhaya's jaw fell. “What? You can't leave. Zelene needs you.”
“We need you,” Terrena reminded him gently.
He dropped his head into his hand. “I will aid you in whatever way I can, and try to be there for my sister. But I feel these castle walls too tightly and think some air might do me some good.”
Terrena placed her hand on her sister's leg to stop her from arguing further. She didn't need Rhaya's gift to see that Nolan was more heartbroken than most might expect him to be over Ellowyn's death. But then, she had seen them together. “We understand, Nolan. We will look after your sisters for you.”
He gave her a brief and relieved smile, letting her know that he understood her full meaning. “Thank you, but I believe we will be waiting until after Imbolc to set off on our journey.”
“The Council will be meeting with us tomorrow to discuss this matter further. Unless there are other matters to discuss, I believe that will be all,” Sylvanna said in dismissal.
***
Isauria sat on the edge of the river, dipping her toes in the water even though she couldn't feel it. Ariana lounged next to her, just as morose and in need of solitude. Isauria rested her head on her knees and examined her younger sister, wondering if Ariana could feel Zelene's heartbreak even though they were worlds apart.
Ariana sighed and spoke in a quiet voice. “We've been here almost two weeks now. I think. It's hard to keep track of time.”
Isauria looked around to see who Ariana was talking to, but no one was in sight. “Can you see me?”
Her sister continued, not hearing her. “I don't even know if you're here right now watching, but I hope you are. Because I could really use someone to talk to. It's strange,” Ariana mused, staring at the flowing river, “because I feel you. And I want to explore that, but I don't know how. I don't remember how I did it before, and whenever I try to reach out and touch you, or the feeling of you, nothing happens. Well, I did black out once, but that might have been more to do with staying up half the night trying than actually succeeding.” She rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. “I feel like an idiot talking to myself like this. But I think you can hear me.”
“I can,” Isauria whispered and placed a ghostly hand on top of Ariana's. “I'm here.”
Ariana looked around her and chuckled darkly. “This is all so strange. Sometimes I sit back and look at everything that's happened, and about to happen, and I still can't believe it.”
“I know what you mean,” Isauria agreed with a snort. “And this is coming from the gal who can basically astral project and haunt anyone I like.” She giggled at her own joke.
“I mean, I'm getting married soon, unless you come to get me first.”
Isauria's shoulders slumped in defeat. “I wish I could explain to you why we can't find you.” If only she could communicate with Ariana again. Then Isauria could tell her that Lara was wrong or possibly lying to them, and maybe Alec and Ariana could do some more snooping around the village to find out where they truly were.
Ariana continued nervously, unaware of Isauria’s concerns. “Married. At seven—wait, I must be eighteen by now. At least I'm an adult where we come from, but still. And don't get me wrong, I care about Alec. I really do. I might even love him,” she admitted softly. “But I never saw myself getting married this young. I know it isn't real, but it feels real and huge. And kinda stupid at the same time. I had a fitting today,” she griped. “There's a war going on, you guys are busting ass to try to find me, and I'm playing dress up.” She paused and shook her head angrily. “I should be doing more. I should be there with you guys, and doing more.”
“You're too hard on yourself,” Isauria said.
Alec echoed her words from a few yards away and they both turned to him as he approached. He knelt down in front of her and cupped her face in his hands, then kissed her earnestly.
Ariana blushed heavily when he pulled away. “Thanks. What was that for?”
“I heard what you said, and I just couldn't help but think about how far you've come and what a great leader you are going to be,” he said proudly. “Were you talking to your sister?”
“I hope so,” Ariana answered and looked around wistfully. “I don't have anything to report. I just wanted to talk to her. I thought they would have come for us by now, you know? They know where we are.”
“I know. I'm sure there's a reason for the delay.” He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her waist. “But until they do, I plan on enjoying every minute I have with you.”
Ariana grinned. “And what do you suggest?”
He leaned forward and kissed her gently. “As much of this as I can possibly fit in before they whisk you away.”
&nb
sp; “Oh, but you forget. You'll be coming with me, and I have no intention of letting them take your ability to love from you.”
“Do you really think you can save me from becoming a Cyneward?” he asked with hope dancing in his eyes. “So I can be with you?”
“Yes, I do,” Ariana whispered against his lips. “Just you watch.”
Alec rose and held a hand out for Ariana. “Come, dear wife of mine. Dinner should be ready soon.”
Ariana let Alec guide her to her feet and then turned back to the riverbank. “Isauria? If you are there, thanks for listening. And I hope you come soon.”
“I hope we do too,” Isauria agreed. She followed them back, kicking futilely at the rocks along the way.
***
Zelene's days consisted of what felt like an endless stream of visitors since Ellowyn's death. She always sat politely with them at the table in her room. They would tell her how incredibly sorry they were for her loss. She would thank them for their kind words. When they were satisfied with the effort they had made, they would leave. Sometimes they came back. If she allowed herself to feel enough, she might be surprised at the faces that were on repeat in this endless cycle, as well as the ones that had yet to appear.
There was one face that never went away, no matter how hard she willed it to. Ellowyn's ghost stayed with her so much that Zelene wondered how much of it was her gift to see the dead, and how much was her mind playing tricks on her. Solanna had asked her recently if she had seen Ellowyn. The question confused her at first, until she remembered that Solanna knew about her strange ability. Zelene assured her that she hadn't.
Zelene didn't lie, not really. She hadn't actually seen Ellowyn, though she knew that was only the case because she tried so hard not to look. Zelene could feel her everywhere. She could hear her. Sometimes Ellowyn would beg her to speak to her, to look at her. Other times she would berate Zelene for ignoring her. Ellowyn tried the pleading approach now as Zelene sat alone in her room.
“Please,” Ellowyn begged her once more. “I know you can see me, Zelene. Your back gets straighter when I'm talking to you. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to die, I promise.”
Zelene squeezed her eyes shut, wincing when Ellowyn apologized once more for her death. She wanted to comfort her friend, tell her everything would be okay. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. The idea tore at her heart in ways she'd never experienced before, and rendered her speechless. She impatiently rubbed at her eyes. She wasn't sure she would have the strength to stop crying if she started again. She looked up as someone knocked on her door. A moment later, Rhaya poked her head inside.
“Is it okay if I come in?” Rhaya asked tentatively. When she received a nod in answer, she came inside and sat down across from Zelene at the table. “I'm sorry I haven't been by much.”
“It's okay,” Zelene answered flatly. “I know it's hard for you. Because of your ability.”
“Not just that,” she admitted glumly, drawing circles into the shiny wood with her fingertip. “I cared about her, too. We all did. That's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. The Duillaine are planning a funeral for Ellowyn. They called it burial rites, but I think it's the same thing.”
Ellowyn gasped in astonishment. “The Duillaine are performing burial rites for me? That's the highest honor . . . ”
“I think the higher honor would have been to live,” Zelene retorted.
“Aha,” Ellowyn exclaimed triumphantly. “I knew you could at least hear me.”
“Yeah, that's one way to put it,” Rhaya said slowly, unable to hear Ellowyn’s side of the conversation. “Anyway, um, they asked if anyone wanted to speak, and I know you might not feel like you're ready, but I really think you should. You were her best friend.”
Ellowyn clucked her tongue with bitter doubt as she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Zelene. “A best friend that isn't even willing to talk to me right now.”
“It's not that simple,” Zelene said quietly.
“I know,” Rhaya said sympathetically. She reached forward and covered her hand with her own. “I know it's hard. But no one knew her like you did. And I think she would want you to say something, to get some sort of closure.”
“I always said Rhaya was smart,” her ghostly friend commented, leaning onto the back of Rhaya's chair. “You should listen to her.”
Zelene wanted to yank her hair out at the confusion caused by having two simultaneous conversations at the same time, one of which was completely independent and ignorant of the other. Zelene could tell that Rhaya thought something was going on with her, but had no idea how to explain it. “She would have been better off if she hadn't been my friend at all,” she finally said and risked a glance up to Ellowyn. “She might still be alive.”
“You don't know that,” Rhaya admonished lightly.
Zelene pulled her hand away, burying it in her lap as she watched Ellowyn walk around to her from the corner of her eye. “Maybe. I'll think about it,” she said and turned her head away from Ellowyn, who knelt down next to her.
Ellowyn still looked stunned. “You can't possibly think that, Zelene. My life was so much better for knowing you. You made it worth living again. I felt like a ghost before. Now I can look back and say that I lived, I really lived. And that is all because of you. I would do it all over again. You have to know that.”
Zelene scrubbed her face with her hands, doing her best to ignore the way Ellowyn's speech tugged at her heart. “I'll think about it, Rhaya. I'll try to keep in mind what you said,” she said. Zelene cut her eyes to Ellowyn, hoping she would understand that the words were directed at her as well.
“Good,” Rhaya said and leaned back. “Because there's something else we need to talk about. Rescuing Ariana.”
Zelene felt the guilt stir within her. She stood up, wrapping her arms tightly around herself as she walked over to her window and stared down at the market below. “Did you guys find her yet?”
“No,” Rhaya answered and walked around the table. “We've still been training though. I thought it might be time for you to come too. It'll do you some good to get out of this room and actually interact with people—”
“I interact with people all the time,” Zelene defended, though there was no fight in her voice. “I've barely been alone at all.” She rolled her eyes at the double meaning since her newly dead best friend was the main reason she hadn't truly been alone as of late.
“That's not my point,” Rhaya said. “We need to be ready. You need to be ready.”
Zelene turned her head to give her cousin a sad smile. “No, I don't.” She turned back to the window, lightly scratching at the dirt on the glass with her finger. “I'm not going with you.”
Rhaya's face fell. “What?”
“Come on, Rhaya, be realistic. I suck at the whole magic thing. We all know that. And as if we needed any more proof of that, I just pitted myself against a Cahiran and I lost. Bad. I'll only hold you guys back.”
“No.” Rhaya took a few rushed steps forward. “We can't do this without you, Zelene. We need you. You're the leader of our little group. You have been from the beginning. Without you, this whole thing falls apart and Ariana is doomed.”
“You're giving up?” Ellowyn asked incredulously. “After everything you've done and everything you've been through, you're just going to give up like this? Turn your back on Ariana and everyone else that needs you?”
Zelene shook her head. “What do you expect me to do? I'm not strong enough.”
“I expect you to try,” Ellowyn said heatedly.
“To do what you've always done,” Rhaya said sadly, toying with a stray thread on her dress. “To get people to follow you.”
“I'm sorry,” Zelene said to them both and turned around to face them. “I just don't have it in me.”
Ellowyn's dark eyes narrowed and she marched over to her friend. She stood there in front of her, glaring at her while she searched Zelene's face for something. Zelene lifted her gaze sadly to h
er friend and looking at Ellowyn for the first time since her death. Before Zelene could start crying, Ellowyn slapped her hard across the face.
“Ow,” Zelene cried out, clutching her cheek. “What the hell!”
Rhaya rushed over, concerned and confused, asking her over and over if she was okay, but Zelene could barely hear her over Ellowyn's words.
“You are not allowed to give up. Do you understand me? I died for you! And if you just give up like this, then that means I died for nothing. And I refuse to be some pointless sacrifice in your losing battle of self-discovery!”
“Fine,” Zelene shouted back. She realized that she was seriously freaking Rhaya out and tried to calm herself down. “I'm sorry. I just . . . I need some time alone. To think.”
“Oh . . . okay,” Rhaya stuttered and stared at her wide-eyed. “I'll come back later.”
“Thanks,” Zelene mumbled as Rhaya hesitantly made her way to the door and threw her another worried look before leaving. Once the door closed, Zelene glared at Ellowyn before she marched over to her bed. She jumped in and threw the covers over her head, confident that this would help solve her problem at least temporarily.
***
Raemann found Varrick in the hallway outside of Zelene's room, where he had been for the past few weeks. Varrick was pensive, standing completely still right across from Zelene's doors. His thick shoulders held more tension than ever, though Raemann couldn't understand how he could possibly take anymore. Since their arrival, Varrick had, without a doubt, been the one under the most pressure and scrutiny.
“How is she?” Raemann asked as he approached.
Varrick shrugged and pushed away from the wall when the doors opened. “I'm about to find out.” He barely gave Rhaya time to close the door behind her before launching into his questions. “Well? What did you think? Is she any better? Worse? I think she looks paler, but Arland doesn't.”
Heirs of War, Crown of Flames Page 32